5minsmadness:


You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!

Very correct 5mins.

Health ignorance is alarming. Many are not more enlightened than our grandmothers in the village despite google & having an array of degrees.

Regarding suspicion, how often do people doubt their darling beautiful young bride?
It is exactly that trust they capitalise on to deceive.

Your first instinct is to believe that both of you are working towards same goal.

Some impotent guys don't disclose their medical conditions to their wives before marriage.

Gloriagee:
N lying and deception pre marriage is only done by females, right? I know a lady that dated a guy for bout 8 years with assurances he was AA n wen it was time for wedding, after blood tests, it was 'discovered' that he was AS.

Wat bout guys that lie bout their personal worth, where they work or their preferences as in I don't care if u wear make up or trousers and then change after wedding?

Don't get me wrong, deception on the part of females AND males pre marriage is horrible and sadly enuf, it's the woman that often lives with the consequences as she ends up either in an unhappy marriage or becomes an old maid.

marcjane:
5minsmadess,@ story one,i taught the lady said,hubby has 30% motility and that she is ok.
I just don't get anymore.

Was thinking same as well.

bennyrazz:



There is another case of a woman that deceived my friend. The lady had done surgery to remove fibroid once before, I don't know the type of soup she cook for my friend o, they ended up marrying each other despite several warnings from my friends family. At the end of the day, after about 7months after marriage, she was always complaining of stomach ache, stomach ache, friend thought she was pregnant or she had ulcer or something Meanwhile all her lab test results before marriage were all forged. It was at the hospital they did scan, did all sort if thing and it was discovered that the second fibroid was growing in her womb. My friend spent huge amount of money to get her operated upon and rehabilitated. After a while, he filed for divorce. He relocated from his house straight up. Lady started begging us to settle the matter. We all said OK. That was how they divorced. Prelude to marriage, women may be deceptive, men may be deceptive. You have to pray hard, open your eyes, apply wisdom when looking for a spouse.

---

I seriously don't understand the severity of this thingy fibroid

My sister told me of her problem with fibroid and she wanted to have children. She didn't operate on it; however, she now has a baby boy. (All glory to God)

5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitter When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.

Drama! Blame the society for this kind of game. It's quite unfortunate!

babes are desperate, had an uncle that was tricked into marrying a lady that was 9 years older than he is. Babe was fresh and dope and ma uncle at 31 looked older than she is only to fins out few weeks to the wedding.

fortunately unfortunately he still went ahead with the wedding plan Buh am sure the marriage does reflect that perfect happiness that it should have because of being built in deceit.

Please for all intending would-be brides and grooms, shine your eyes, guys and babes are really desperate and would do anything even lieing for Africa to achieve that

[quote author=fem29 post=44274026]

So true. How come they never went to the hospital to do a pregnancy test. I would have thought if someone you don't want to marry says she is pregnant for you, you would do all tests possible to make sure she is pregnant before you marry her. This story get as e be[/quote

Is not de story that get as e be is de pple involve, their brain get as e BE...

5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitter When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.

I doubt that AA story because I thinkan SS person can be known from visual inspection. if you said she was AS I would have believed.

doskie:
I doubt that AA story because I thinkan SS person can be known from visual inspection. if you said she was AS I would have believed.

Well it happened wether u believe it or not. Someone else here has already related his true experience. Read through the thread.

Out of curiosity though, what are the things u can see in an ss person from 'visual inspection'?

DeeTus:
Drama! Blame the society for this kind of game. It's quite unfortunate!

I agree! I wouldn't have said this before but I have come to see that a lot of people in society take marriage as a do-or-die affair! Imagine someone telling me she's going ahead with a marriage even though from all indications the marriage won't last a year. Her words: "eh, lemme get married first then will handle whatever comes afterwards " I was like wow! Is it really that bad? Tomorrow her husband will be bashing her up and down and she'll be crying blue murder meanwhile she entered the thing will eyes fully open!

AreaFada2:


Very correct 5mins.

Health ignorance is alarming. Many are not more enlightened than our grandmothers in the village despite google & having an array of degrees.

Regarding suspicion, how often do people doubt their darling beautiful young bride?
It is exactly that trust they capitalise on to deceive.

Your first instinct is to believe that both of you are working towards same goal.

Very true my brother.
Do you know it took multiple scans for him to finally see the truth. When the first scan was done the woman went to native with him and they told him the scan couldn't see anything cos the baby was hiding! I was like, hiding where

5minsmadness:

Well it happened wether u believe it or not. Someone else here has already related his true experience. Read through the thread.

Out of curiosity though, what are the things u can see in an ss person from 'visual inspection'?

pale yellow eyes, low weight, weak appearance, generally a sickler looks like a sickler and you can at least have cause to ask questions merely looking at the person

MEN HAVE DEIR OWN SHARES OF LIES TOO.

1. Erectile dysfunction
2. Undescended testes
3. Premature ejaculation
4. 0 sperm

men do hide deir medical history too. I hav seen millions of cases. Ranging from different causes. But are hidden frm d potential spouse til after marriage.
Some men even wit deir history continue to cheat as if cheating wil solve deir problem. So go ahead to disgrace the woman even wen dry know its deir fault.

Some men encourage deir wives to cheat n get preggy so pple won't knw of deir fertility problems.

Anoda classic example is d issue of HIV. Marriedcouple, d man was ccheating n got d virus. He was ill n wen it was discovered n managed he was discharged but was told to bring his wife for counselling n testing.
For 5 solid yrs dis man refused. He was punctual to take his drugs frm d hospital but didnt wsnt his wifevto know ge was positive.
YET he was sleeping wit her witout condom.

Long story short......wife got sick. Diagnosed of HIV. She told her hubby of dr report after 1month of drs persuasion.
The husband surprisingly didnt make a fuss. After few days asked her to cook n prepare a feast for his guests. On d said day she was surprised to see her family members n elders arriving deir house. After eating n making merry, d man made a speech to thank dem for d wonderful wife dey gave him, but from now he is returning d woman n d bride price. He is no longer interested cos she has HIV
It was a shocking moment

Clinic was never d same for few days. She came back to accuse our snr doctor of ruining her marriage. D man even sent her off with her kids. Luckily d kids were all negative.
The man got married to a new woman who still didn't know his status.

Alot happens. Deception can b either way.

Alot of Christian sisters/pple who don't engage in pre marital sex suffer. After marriage u discover many of those men have erectile issues, but stuck with dem during courtship because dey r sure dey won't b discovered since its a celibate relationship. But d man knows his organ is dysfunctional.
It goes on n on. Na God go save pple

AreaFada2:


The man is confused, desperate and more. He feels betrayed, perhaps time wasted. As far as he's concerned now, until a woman is pregnant, he cannot trust her womb.

If in 9ja, life expectancy of sicklers is still low. Those reaching 35 are considered lucky.
Even in the West with better health care, dealing with the agony of sickle cell complications in kids is still tough.

If you check my old posts, I have mentioned a not too dissimilar experience with a lady. Though not married, still wasted some years dating her. Though not full-blown hysterectomy but womb was damaged enough via teenage abortion to make conception highly unlikely.
Even when the truth came to light, with obvious medical evidence, they (the girl, her mum & sisters) kept denying.

Well, it was time to bail out.

It is the height of deception. When kids don't come in a marriage, it's hard enough. When you then find out that the woman & her family knew the reason all along, it's must be devastating.

@bolded, and they will deny with thier last breath. Why do they do that?? What happens if you two had gotten married then 10 yrs , 25yrs and no kids People be going from pillar to post and crying to God and whoever meanwhile they know the cause of their problem. Then when the man finds out and realises that his beloved even knew about it but was hiding it from him, its very devastating. How do they live with themselves?

doskie:
pale yellow eyes, low weight, weak appearance, generally a sickler looks like a sickler and you can at least have cause to ask questions merely looking at the person

Some sicklers hav a different phenotypic appearance. I guess his is d Saudi Arabia sickle. D oda 4 sickle av terrible illnesses. 1 of my inlaws is a sickler. Very robust n handsome man. He plump sef. But has yellow eyes but pple dont really take time to notice such. He hardly ever has crises too. So his can pass for normal illness.

[quote author=Funnyguy83 post=44299236][/quote]
No its not the same case bro. The stories are different. In this one the woman had her womb removed long before the marriage. The woman in that thread said she has her womb intact.

I have seen that other thread and commented on it. I agree she isn't saying everything. Nevertheless she should move on.

what about men lying? Talk about them too. Everybody lies - man or woman

Bollinger:


You too much jooo. I mean, everyone knows men don't lie to women at all. In fact, men don't lie period. Men are the most trust worthy species on the planet. It has been documented that when it comes to lies in a relationship, the male gender are saints. I thought i was the only that read the result of the findings. OP, your thought process is truly fantastic. When i grow up, i wanna be like you.

You are very right!
Men tell no lies, in fact, they are incapable of lying in a relationship, haven't you noticed? Men are the most decent sort of species you can hope for especially when it comes to romance!

However this particular thread is directed towards women and women matters. You can open up a counter thread extolling the virtues of men if you want!

Can a woman actually lie to me?

Being a casanova has its advantages sha, if u like wear hijab, big skirt we go know your capabilities and vice versa.

@ op I feel your pain sha, another one is ladies who constantly have miscarriages (real ones) and start running to pastors claiming it's spiritual when it's due to the abortion they had which has rendered their cervix incompetent.

NattyBaba:
what about men lying? Talk about them too. Everybody lies - man or woman

True.. There are men who deceive women into marriage as well. Men who lie about their impotence and fertility etc. But I focused on the women cos of the case that inspired this thread and the way they will lie and play victim when the man finds out and starts to sleep around or misbehave. They will be the first to start insulting the man and telling all and sundry that the man is acting up and being a beast meanwhile they re the ones at fault and they know it. We bashed that man behind his back and sometimes in his front for months, thinking he was immature and insensitive, and he never once let out his wife's secret until he finally had no choice! And it was pathetic seeing the woman admit her guilt and plead after the man had finally made up his mind to leave her. She knew she would be more vulnerable at the end, she should have been Kinder towards the man and his societal image before slandering him. Hence the topic.

doskie:
pale yellow eyes, low weight, weak appearance, generally a sickler looks like a sickler and you can at least have cause to ask questions merely looking at the person

Guy not all Sicklers look like this o

romme2u:


hey bro long time no see.

i always love ur 5 min madness

I gats time on my hands to spare this period
How u doing bro?

histemple:


I hardly comment on this kind of post but I think you need this advice, and urgently too. You need to learn how to look beyond the crying of a woman to enable you find out WHY she is crying--so that emotional blackmail won't becloud your sense of reasoning and good judgement. Some women take advantage of "good" people like you.

Em... Ok Thanks.
Am not easily deceived though.

fem29:


OK fair enough. If I were him I would have taken her to the hospital for pregnancy test. When I went to register for antenatal at about 6 weeks, the hospital insisted on doing a test even though I had done a home test.

And did your husband go with you? Be honest now.

InformedLola:


Abi o.

@ 5minsmadness, we know who you are referring to o. We have read her story here on Nairaland.

Sweet Jayzus!
I have said it repeatedly that she is not the one oh. Her story and the one I put up are not similar at all.
Having said that I don't think she's telling us the while story. But it has nothing to do with the one I wrote!

SAMBARRY:
mr man what is the name of the nollywood movie you just narrated of 3families and when will the part 2come out

Anyway

Why handsome sexy looking boy like you a whole omo lagos/Michigan boy like you go dey write superstories

Well I no chop am

Btw have you cleaned your gas cooker?

Because superstory dey sweet.
No chop am na. Your loss.
Today na Saturday. Owambe tins

And Yes! I have cleaned my gas cooker

5minsmadness:

And did your husband go with you? Be honest now.

Absolutely yes . He Went for every scan . WE were pregnant

5minsmadness:


You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!

no pun intended bro..I can guarantee ur script on the 2yr-conception wud go into production phase straightup if introduced to Universal Studios Directors... #kayefi

It all started from garden of Eden. Woman had been deceiving man right from the time of Adam nd Eve. It now vice-versa. The fear of God is only the beginning of WISDOM to know the best for your life, in order to avoid being deceived into rubbish.

5minsmadness:
There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitter When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

Some Laboratories give misleading results, I know of a couple that fell victim of a similar situation.

fem29:


Absolutely yes . He Went for every scan . WE were pregnant

If u say so, ok. Good for you.
Most men don't go for antenatal clinic with thier wives. I should know. They come maybe once, if they're good twice. Then they leave the rest of the biz for the women. A lot of women use antenatal to collect money from their men cos the men don't know what goes on there. They simply say they need money for this or that and the men will give to them only for them to use it and buy moi-moi

You'd be surprised how many men blank out when they see a pregnancy strip esp when it's from someone they didn't expect. It sends the brain cells into shock

saintneo:

---

I seriously don't understand the severity of this thingy fibroid

My sister told me of her problem with fibroid and she wanted to have children. She didn't operate on it; however, she now has a baby boy. (All glory to God)

Most black women have fibroids. It affects fertility based on size and position in the womb.