Its a common trend in our generation, but the irony of it is that either head or tail, the woman loses. Guys! what do we have to tell our sisters who moved in with him to make him realize the 'wifey' materials in them.

Is that why such relationships last longer than most marriages?

Personally I don't think I would do it because I like my space, like when my ex used to come over and visit me, sometimes it'd be several times in a day/week and I'd end becoming very irritated talkless of this person being in my face 24/7 because we live together, the only time I'll probably be willing to do that is when I'm ready to get married

However it works well for others and I admire that. Good for them, Why should anyone look down on others because of how they choose to live? such ignorance. Not everyone is obsessed with the concept of marriage like in Nigeria. You see those moronic females getting married to just anyone just because they need that marriage validation in their lives then they end up in a horribly hopeless marriage. It's pathetic.

Most guys don't like girls all up in their space all the time so if he actually allows a situation where you two live together, that usually means he loves you. Just because he doesnt immediately propose marriage doesnt mean he doesnt. Infact that's how most people are able to tell whether they are truly compatible in dealing with everyday things before they decide to get married.

If it's not for you, fine but it works for others so no they are not "losers.". The real losers are those who rush into marriage and end up regretting it.

Moving in with your bf/gf is a bad idea for me, i dont see why i need to prove to him that i am wife material. Please its the other way round for me.

i dont think its right to move in with ur boyfriend as a man not until u are married.cos u are just dating.cos every move he makes will bring suspicion.he may be working late but sine u are alone at home u start building up some crazy imagination that he is with a girl,but if u are with ur girls hanging out that time and he calls to tell u he will be home late.the company of ur friends will help u beleive him.when we are alone as humans we start thinking both positive and negative things about our lover but which stays?the negative or positive.and if both of u are true christains u know sex before marriage is against the will of God and it will be difficult to avoid sex cos u both see your unclothedness.i dont like to sound like a preacher but its the truth though.

@topic, its OK if ur partner lives in a house with many rooms and u cant afford a house in the city say New York/London

Seriously, i would not approve of a live-in lover under normal circumstances, but if Yawa dey, Then maybe she can for a short while

@walelead
i don't think thats what he meant.

i don't think i would advice any lady to move in with a guy that has not even paid a bride price,its just so foolish and stupid 

what is "bride price" in 2006/2007? Im confuzzled.

Are you a nigerian?

Um yea.

I dont believe the whole bride price/drowy rubbish is still being practiced however

thief of heart i dont dig your talk o living with a guy befor marriage is not for a lady who serriously desires to be married its for thosewho need a guy to have sex and be d guy around the house. if a babe wants to make a guy seriously think of marrying her she should go vissiting spend some time with him and leave let him realise for himself your usefulness around the house when you are not there and the importance of you presence in his life .your character and personality will speak for you not your ability to give osho free f, cks, dish washing,laundering,nursing, cooking etc for eternity. That will only make him think since he has got it why spend money on a weding besides if he brings a new chick to the house you no get right to shout afterall im never marry you so he can test another abi you be winch wey no want am to marry better wife? ME I NO WANT TO SEE A POSTING BY ONE OF OUR SISTERS SAYING HE DUMPED ME AFTER ALL I DID FOR HIM no live with am if you no get mind to carry disaster wey fit come out o. even married women dey get hert break talkless of you wey no get reson to live with a man except say na our boyfriend. This is africa where the woman always looses if she is not careful you cant change that.

u dont av 2 b a live-in lover 2 be a wife-material. just finished readin Pastor Bimbo Odukoya's new book- The single life. She said"A man doesnt av 2 buy d cow when he can get milk 4 free" and i agree wit dat.

thief of heart i don't dig your talk o living with a guy befor marriage is not for a lady who serriously desires to be married its for thosewho need a guy to have sex and be d guy around the house. if a babe wants to make a guy seriously think of marrying her she should go vissiting spend some time with him and leave let him realise for himself your usefulness around the house when you are not there and the importance of you presence in his life .your character and personality will speak for you not your ability to give osho free f, cks, dish washing,laundering,nursing, cooking etc for eternity. That will only make him think since he has got it why spend money on a weding besides if he brings a new chick to the house you no get right to shout afterall im never marry you so he can test another abi you be winch wey no want am to marry better wife? ME I NO WANT TO SEE A POSTING BY ONE OF OUR SISTERS SAYING HE DUMPED ME AFTER ALL I DID FOR HIM no live with am if you no get mind to carry disaster wey fit come out o. even married women dey get hert break talkless of you wey no get reson to live with a man except say na our boyfriend. This is africa where the woman always looses if she is not careful you can't change that.

You might not dig it but I stand by my stance. BTW I dont believe I even said this is something I would do, I just wouldnt look down on those who do it. Besides not everyone is obsessed with this paper called Marriage. I said it before that it's funny how the relationships of those who just live together sometimes last way longer than some marriages. As for the bringing in a new chick, who said that cant be done while you two are married or even behind your back during this so called marriage. It all depends on the guy now doesnt it?
If a girl just wants to live with her lover, by all means do so. It might not be ideal for other couples but as long as it works for someone else, why the hell not?

btw this topic isnt just about African people, its a general topic so I dont know what the whole "This is Africa, women always lose" crap comes in to play.

Thief of heart sorry o i thought this was naira land o maybe i skiped the dolar and euro named after naira that was why i talked about africa what you wont do dont advise or encourage someone else to do just because they feel comfortable with it if its wrong then its wrong if it was a good thing to live in with a lover then the world wont have anything called marriage we all will just grow up and move in with the man we deire to be with for me oh i dont support live in lovers especially the babes as a ladymyself i believe there is dignity in marriaage .As you aid even married men bring in ladies or cheat on there wives at times but when this happens the woman wont feel ashamed or embarassed as will be the case of a free giver girlfriend.I only said babes who want true commitment should not stoop low to live with a man not bold enough to walk them to the altar. I will say this again and again I DONT SUPPORT LIVE IN LOVERS.

I cant help but wonder how much the "world" seems to have changed.

Live-in lovers are the in thing now, men and women choosing to enjoy the benefits of marriage without the legal implications. In this world of political correctness, we are quick to defend those who do things we would have considered abominable 10yrs ago under the guise of "it is the 21st century", "freedom of expression" e.t.c.
Research is yet to prove conclusively that live in lovers do better than married couples, infact it is now common to hear of couples breaking an engagement after 4-5 yrs of liviing together without getting married. While people claim the live in status is to "ascertain the level of compatibility", we all know it is simply a way of legitimising pre-marital sex and obtaining free housekeeping benefits.

David you sound like those crotchey old people who talk about the "good ol' days" and constantly complain about Western Civilization 

There was this couple, a celeb couple, can't remember the names right now, they've been living together for over 15 years, had children, all that, a year after they decided to go ahead and do the marriage then, they broke up. I remember finding that to be so weird

Anyway I believe marriage isnt for everyone so again, I'm not going to judge people based on what works for them. How is it affecting my life? In other words, people should mind their business

Thief of heart sorry o i thought this was naira land o maybe i skiped the dolar and euro named after naira that was why i talked about africa what you wont do don't advise or encourage someone else to do just because they feel comfortable with it if its wrong then its wrong if it was a good thing to live in with a lover then the world wont have anything called marriage we all will just grow up and move in with the man we deire to be with for me oh i don't support live in lovers especially the babes as a ladymyself i believe there is dignity in marriaage .As you aid even married men bring in ladies or cheat on there wives at times but when this happens the woman wont feel ashamed or embarassed as will be the case of a free giver girlfriend.I only said babes who want true commitment should not stoop low to live with a man not bold enough to walk them to the altar. I will say this again and again I DONT SUPPORT LIVE IN LOVERS.

um Nigerians arent the only ones who are registered on this site if you bothered to look.

some believe in marriage. some dont. Doesnt make you better than them. and you dont support live in lovers, ok? So? Yea Im sure they are gonna stop because YOU dont support them. Lmao.

@ TOH

na me be crotchey old people?

Come online, i've got a few mins to spare. yeye girl!  

two couples were on a train and one of them was going for their honey mon anmd they looked so happy and so in love
Then the wedded couple noticed that the other couple were not wedded and tried to make conversation
''so when will the wedding be coming up'' they asked and the young man looks at his lady and back at the wedded couple and replies ''IF I CAN GET ALL THE MILK I NEED FOR FREE WHY BUY THE COW''

IN-THING or NO IN-THING
U loose ur value as a woman the moment he begins to sleep with u b4 he has married u
Lets forget this issue about civilization and come back to our roots
its d worngest sign to give a man and dont tell me u dont care about marriage irrespective of where in the world u live
Y open ur legs in bed b4 u wed
lets give decency its place and stop calling people archaic because they said premarital sex is wrong

lmao @ wrongest.

I swear Nigerians have issues. The fact that they try to make people see things from their boxed mentality is always so funny. Why cant they just accept that not everyone considers things like you do? Is it really that hard?

Keep in mind that this man that you supposedly staying with in hopes he'd wanna marry your ass can EASILY cheat after getting married or even decide to bring in another wife. EVER considered that?

T.o.H you hoe go see Zulunation , confess your sins and sin no more child

yuck Catholicism

oh no you'v done it now, all the catholics will call for your head now------------ you are on your own later

@topic

don't think its right as well and like u said, women got more to loose than men in such relationships.

If you're his wife, then be his wife.

If u're his girl friend, then be his girlfirend.

[color=#000099][/color] i strongly believe it's wrong to move in with a guy that you aren't married to. Ladies often come out losers. Many would attest to the after effects of such an action.

No matter how it may be painted, it is wrong, plain and simple!

mordern thief of heart why dont you wake up to the fact that no one is thanking you for understanding different people and their way of life most sane people know that a wife is different from a live in lover so get the message and stop taking personal suggestions made by others you are not alone in this 21st century i bellieve the fact that people do it dosent mean they will encourage their sisters to do the same.people do it yes but it dosent make it right.

When did I ask for people to thank me? Oh, you're one of those people who think I actually give a shit on what others have to say, hm? Sorry to disappoint.

Carry go, please.

Why are all of u sounding self righteous?
will u marry someone you dont really know?
how many of u girls have not moved in partially or fully with your guys?
u are all protecting your turfs and playing holier than thou here
give some of us guys some space u loose big tyme.

boladonas:

Why are all of u sounding self righteous?.

That's all they do around here

lol