I remember when i first started reading about natural hair, it was in late 2011/ early 2012, it was on a blog about ladies who their parents never relaxed their hair. They showed pictures and it looked huge, beautiful and i remember thinking 'i want this'.

I did stop relaxing my hair that year and the next year i did the big chop. For the first year, i mainly braided my hair, then eventually it dawned on me that i really didn't have the time or patience for styling, care and such. The 2nd year brought along with it more braids and weaves, by my 3rd year of being natural, i was used to my 'nappy' hair.

I can confidently say my curl pattern was a z, no definition whatsoever, shrinkage was so real. I couldn't deal. While i loved my Afro, i was a bit lost because i couldn't rock it the way i wanted to. On a trip home, i told my mom how i felt and she said something that freed me. 'Relax it, IT IS JUST HAIR'.

I got the relaxer and 3 years of kinkiness was gone in 20 minutes, i missed my Afro. I missed the fullness and every so often i feel like going back to being natural but i am not feeling it. Why this long sermon?

I see so many naturals who have this same struggle but cannot free themselves for fear of being a failure somehow or for fear of the natural hair Nazis.

Nowadays, i see people who haven't even been natural for upto 2 years telling others who are relaxed that they have issues with self hate, they say that people with relaxed hair are trying to be white, they refer to white supremacy as the issue when that is very untrue. Why demean people over something as trivial as hair

The sad part is being natural is now more of a fashion statement more than anything. Previously, it was a stand that Africans had beautiful hair and a defiance to a perceived enforcement of a need for straight hair. Now all that is gone and there are a lot of people who go into this as a trend and so they are unable to keep up and have to go back to a relaxer.

Then again, if you are going to be a natural hair Nazi, why wear weaves and hide the hair, why not use your natural hair everywhere ? Some do that but not a whole lot.

In truth, we do so many unafrican things and have so many unfrican cultures to tear people down over something like hair.

I realize that some people enjoy their culture and their natural hair but in it all remember IT IS JUST HAIR. Once it comes out from your scalp, they are dead cells.

Note: Not all relaxed hair in unhealthy and not all natural hair is healthy.

I'm going natural soon. I have started My transition. I admire girls with natural hair, I wanna try it out.

Nice write up

It is quite an experience. How long do you want to transition for?

had my big chop last year July.
I love the fro but it's so much work.

the urge to relax it is so strong, but I don't want to relax it and then regret it.

my dilemma

Joavid:
had my big chop last year July.
I love the fro but it's so much work.

the urge to relax it is so strong, but I don't want to relax it and then regret it.

my dilemma

I understand how you feel but if it gets too hard and you give in, remember you ARE NOT a failure. This is just a learning curve, it is just hair and it will grow back. You can make use of wigs but remember that what matters is your peace of mind. Hair does not define who you are.

Moberry:


I understand how you feel but if it gets too hard and you give in, remember you ARE NOT a failure. This is just a learning curve, it is just hair and it will grow back. You can make use of wigs but remember that what matters is your peace of mind. Hair does not define who you are.

thanks for your kind words. it's so refreshing and encouraging.