Before reading this thread, I'll like to state these;

# The goal of this thread is not to promote and encourage promiscuity rather it is to condemn the stigmatization of those who have repented from their dirty pasts.

# The virginity status shouldn't be concealed at the time of discussion and planning of wedlock because whoever deceives us is not of us.

# But the details of the evil events must be concealed because of many narrations that prohibit disclosure of past sins.



CHASTITY ISSUES by Aboo Banaat
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Dear newly wedded spouses,

This is sometimes the beginning of your problems. The debate about virginity always errupts from the first night of marriage,
especially when the man on the marriage night discovers his wife aint no virgin.
His face becomes sour like spoilt eforiro soup. This night was supposed to be a memorable one but it turns bad in some
cases.

He now "forces" his wife to tell him how he lost it, even if the wife refuses, he insists and puts her in a tight situation until she tells him or lies about it.
Akhi, did you marry her for her deen and character or for her virginity? Virginity should be one of the secondary considerations, and if she is a virgin, are you untouched too?
The woman's virginity is always an issue, but no one talks about the man's own!
.
The fiancé or husband has NO right to ask about his wife's past. It is sufficient for him that she is now pious and she is known for good at the time of marrying her. As to whether she did anything haraam in the past, but then repented from it and became righteous, it is wrong to ask her about that and make her choose between telling lies or getting divorced and forcing her to tell her secrets thereby disclosing that which
Allaah had concealed for her, then if she tells him the truth, this will open the door to doubt and suspicion. Either way, its double wahala.
.

Sisters, know that its not compulsory on you to tell your
husband about whatever dirty past you went through. Its not
even in his right to ask you in the first place.
the Prophet salallahu alayhi wassalam said:
“Avoid this immoralities that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever
does any such thing, then let him conceal it with the
concealment of Allaah.” (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi; classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663).*
.
How can you as a groom feel, when your wife be like:

-i had 10 boyfriends

-i used to party a lot

-i was a stripper or belly dancer

-i used to smoke and drink

-i used to be a model

-i used to dance to sell sim card

-i lost my virginity to abu fulaan, at destiny hotels, in room
52, at night, we did such and such for several days, I got pregnant and I aborted it, bla bla bla
.
Akhi, how would you feel after hearing all this trash? Won't ur
love for her reduce instantly? Is this how to start a new
marriage? Won't u begin to doubt her fearing that she may go
into zina again?
Won't u begin to underrate her?
Then why did you ask her in the first place? Why did you make
lher uncover her secret which Allah has covered for her?
What about your own bad past too?
.
Sister, how do you feel when narrating such ugly events
again?
Shouldn't you be shy of explaining how you committed zina
wit a man?
Even if you were raped, is it worth narrating? What is there to
be proud of? If your husband dies tomorrow and u re-marry,
will you narrate all this stories to him too?

The prophet salallahu alayhi wassalam said,
If you have no shame, do as you wish.
.

During the time of umar ibn khattab radiAllahu anhu, a suitor wanted to marry a woman, the wali of the woman told the
suitor that the woman had committed zina. So the suitor left. When the khalifa heard the incident, he beat the wali of the
woman and said: Was there any need to mention it? (Muwatta of imam malik: 28/1148)
.
(erased portion)
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May Allah grant us understanding, amin

Newmas' note; it would have sufficed the wali of the woman to tell the suitor that the woman is not a virgin instead of telling him that she committed zina. This is because the woman had repented, but the one who hasn't repented should not be married or concealed to suitors. Allah knows best.

Sometimes is good and it can be discouaged,what if the partner has had hepatities b which infact does not show immediately and transmit it to partner?

factsdigger:
Sometimes is good and it can be discouaged,what if the partner has had hepatities b which infact does not show immediately and transmit it to partner?

If she has a disease she should say it. What the post discouraged is giving details of the past.