The hypocrisy of some Nigerian men

Not only was the husband cheating by the also got someone pregnant outside his marriage that's the bastard that thinks he has a right to talk about his wife cheating

MRBrownJ:


again, i am simply saying that cheating (which is WRONG) makes many men OR women kill their partner as revenge (which is also WRONG).... therefore anyone cheating should be aware that death could be the outcome, at the hand of their deranged partner.

nobody should expect their partner to be "ok" when they learn about any wrong act, and instead they should accept whatever that deranged person would do as CONSEQUENCES of that wrong action.

Consequences right, when everyone starts giving out consequences how many Nigerian men will be left alive Including the hypocrite husband who impregnated another woman while married

Okay

fem29:


To be honest as far as I am concerned a wife really should never ever ever conceive of cheating due to the fact that she may end up giving someone else's baby to her hubby. Very wrong. I honestly believe it is worse for a wife to cheat and I would support any man who divorces his wife due to cheating and this is whether he has cheated or not.

BUT never ever ever in his life should violence be used. If you caught her cheating call her mother and father immediately and inform them of what happened. Divorce her immediately!. DO NOT HIT HER. DO NOT KILL HER. If you do, you are a beast and you deserve to spend the rest of your life in jail or killed by firing squad!

I'm in agreement with your first paragraph, however, the second one not so much.

Not like I'm advocating for violence here, but like MrBrownJ implied, we don't get to determine how anyone should react to the issue of infidelity or anything for that matter...a previously non-violent man can in that moment of disappointment become a monster and shock his wife.
There have also been cases on this same NL where a woman cut her husband's d!ck, or the one that poured hot water on her husband or something like that...
Violence isn't quite the response people plan for, just stating.

fancyupage:


Some Nigerian men need to attend marriage building classes. Any man that thinks the bride price give him the right to treat his wife like a "thing" is a fooooollll. The bride price is more of a tradition than anything.

In the UK men can buy expensive wedding rings to propose, more expensive than the bride price but such men don't treat their women like a thing. Being a woman abuser is a mental health issue and not a bride price issue in my opinion.

You need to really calm down and answer his question. And stop mentioning the UK at every turn. A female lawyer recently stabbed her husband to death in his sleep also.

Mamatee07:
The hypocrisy of some Nigerian men

Not only was the husband cheating by the also got someone pregnant outside his marriage that's the bastard that thinks he has a right to talk about his wife cheating

And why do you think he feels he has this right? Be honest...

crackhaus:

And why do you think he feels he has this right? Be honest...

Because he is a man, it's in their nature to cheat.

Ain't that the slogan no more?

Mamatee07:
Consequences right, when everyone starts giving out consequences how many Nigerian men will be left alive Including the hypocrite husband who impregnated another woman while married

yes thats the sad reality, her death is the consequences of her doing something that was WRONG (maybe not in your eyes, but certainly in his), thus making this mad man react the way he saw befitting. the sad part in all this is that, cheating is not even relevant, as she could have just raised her hand/voice at him, and this mad man would have reacted the same way.

There's a gradual redefinition of marriage from what we grew up to understand it to be. Peeps are seriously making marriage seem like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in which you can just walk out at any second with the blink of an eye.

There's this conscious effort by folks to gradually plant this seed of "divorce is a normal thing" in our subconsciousness that it's perfectly ok to walk out of your marriage at any point in time.

And in the next 5-10 years, we'll begin to see and hear of lots of divorce cases due to the flimsiest and silliest excuses due to one form of "abuse" or the other. It can be as much as the husband asking her "Where are you coming from by this time?". And she files for divorce the next day due to threat to life or signs of violence.

By then divorce wouldn't be frowned upon like now or divorcee ostracized again. Just like the baby mama ish now, it'll become perfectly ok to walk out of you marriage once your partner slaps you.


#GodSaveOurHomes #SayNoToViolence

lets imagine for a minute.... as we all know that the majority of Nigerian women are moved by money, here we have a man that may have struggle to make ends meet while growing up or even pay his own school fees; survived on indomie and garri for yrs; managed to graduate and found a small job that wasnt paying much; met this babe and it was love at 1st sight; she quickly asked to go to eateries for dating and recharge cards to chat on phone; because he was broke and desperate, but wanted to impress this babe, he probably did some Yahoo Yahoo or petty scams, but the babe was asking for more gifts and handouts so the poor guy sold his soul to the devil and join some robbery gang to whine and dine her; during dating he paid for her school fees, recharge cards, brazilian hair, new iphone, bleaching cream, her rent, fake boobs, the lot; then he proposed, and then came the BRIDE PRICE list that went into the MILLIONS of Naira, which he hardly managed to pay, and last but not least, she wanted a big wedding so he had to borrow heavily at the bank, and subsequently lived close to poverty... and then, they had a child and struggled for years, only to discover that wifey was cheating and probably their child aint his..... i am sorry to say that, as much as killing her would be wrong, i would certainly "understand" such man losing his mind, and his actions.

crackhaus:

Hard to admit, but all this talk about who has a right to cheat in marriage will be better laid to rest of women collectively try to abolish this thing called marriage rites (bride price) being paid on their heads.

The truth is that some men (even if they don't say or act like it) have this innate belief that a woman who milked them with expenses such as bride list, bride price, paying for almost everything in the wedding including her wedding dress, and basically giving her the big Cinderella wedding she always dreamed of...has no right to cheat on him - it is what it is.

Women should help themselves and help everyone. Whether you're a working wife or not, some men still feel a woman has no right to cheat on them with the way Nigerian marriage rites are structured.

What you should be trying to deal with is the foundation, which poses the question
"Why exactly do a lot of Nigerian men feel that their wives have no right to cheat on them?" - don't rush, think about it deeply and tell me what you come up with.

I doubt very much it has anything to do with brideprice. In some cultures, bride prices are returned to the groom, and the bride's family handles all the wedding preparations. Its even atimes seen as a thing of shame by some if they get any help from the groom's family side.
This hasn't stopped domestic violence from happening in such unions.

MRBrownJ:
lets imagine for a minute.... as we all know that the majority of Nigerian women are moved by money, here we have a man that may have struggle to make ends meet while growing up or even pay his own school fees; survived on indomie and garri for yrs; managed to graduate and found a small job that wasnt paying much; met this babe and it was love at 1st sight; she quickly asked to go to eateries for dating and recharge cards to chat on phone; because he was broke and desperate, but wanted to impress this babe, he probably did some Yahoo Yahoo or petty scams, but the babe was asking for more gifts and handouts so the poor guy sold his soul to the devil and join some robbery gang to whine and dine her; during dating he paid for her school fees, recharge cards, brazilian hair, new iphone, bleaching cream, her rent, fake boobs, the lot; then he proposed, and then came the BRIDE PRICE list that went into the MILLIONS of Naira, which he hardly managed to pay, and last but not least, she wanted a big wedding so he had to borrow heavily at the bank, and subsequently lived close to poverty... and then, they had a child and struggled for years, only to discover that wifey was cheating and probably their child aint his..... i am sorry to say that, as much as killing her would be wrong, i would certainly "understand" such man's losing his mind, and his actions.

Quite an unrealistic scenario because I doubt that any man will engage in criminal activities for the sole purpose of impressing a babe. Moreover, the money he makes is not all entirely spent on her. He enjoys the money too and also his family.

However, MrBrownJ, when you tell these boys / men not to spend their hard or not so hard earned money on ladies who feel entitled to their money, they come and insult you as being broke.

So no, I don't sympathize with them. It's a choice they make.

Moreover, he can buy himself a new pro.stitute instead of killing someone's daughter and mother and instead of getting himself into BIG trouble.

A woman who gave up on her career to devote herself to family life because her husband wanted it so, will find it more difficult to move on when her husband cheats or takes in a second wife because a woman with children and no income is in a worse situation for several reasons.

Would you understand her if she poisons her husband's meals? We both would, it's an act of desperation and it's sick so we should NEVER justify it.


What people need to understand is that cheating has been part of human relationships since times immemorial and will always continue to be. Even if we say that it is not right, say goodbye to the idea that you own a human being and that you can control them.

This is why I say, make sure that you are self-reliant and NEVER depend on anyone else for anything - neither money nor happiness.

Mindfulness:
Quite an unrealistic scenario because I doubt that any man will engage in criminal activities for the sole purpose of impressing a babe. Moreover, the money he makes is not all entirely spent on her. He enjoys the money too and also his family.

the point is wouldnt you understand that man too?

However, MrBrownJ, when you tell these boys / men not to spend their hard or not so hard earned money on ladies who feel entitled to their money, they come and insult you as being broke. So no, I don't sympathize with them. It's a choice they make.

sadly, many dont give a damn what i say because life in Nigeria is all about "being rich or die trying", as they all believe as if their lives depended on it, that WHEN YOU MAKE THE MONEY, THE WOMEN WILL COME LIKE FLIES (and all your worries will go away). although its entirely their choices, their dream when they finally get that money and bling bling is to attract a "good" woman... and to keep that good life AND woman, they will continue doing whatever madness they did to get that money. such stressful life will definitely have a toll on any man. such man is a ticking time bomb!

Moreover, he can buy himself a new pro.stitute instead of killing someone's daughter and mother and instead of getting himself into BIG trouble.

... and let some other dude enjoy where the best part of his money went to? the fruit of all his stress and misery? you really dont understand us men. men sometimes even get mad when someone is fukcing their ex unsignificant biatches, let alone their wives. thats the type of beast you are dealing with here.

A woman who gave up on her career to devote herself to family life because her husband wanted it so, will find it more difficult to move on when her husband cheats or takes in a second wife because a woman with children and no income is in a worse situation for several reasons.

Would you understand her if she poisons her husband's meals? We both would, it's an act of desperation and it's sick so we should NEVER justify it.

although wrong, i would certainly understand her actions, just like the abused wife killing her abusive husband... i can understand that because of the pain and suffering she may have been through, she got to a point where she snapped and did the unthinkable.

What people need to understand is that cheating has been part of human relationships since times immemorial and will always continue to be. Even if we say that it is not right, say goodbye to the idea that you own a human being and that you can control them.

i am sorry but if i pay brideprice, and every damn pastors tell me that the bible says that women MUST be submissive in marriage, and also that man is the head of family, then yes, such deluded man will believe that he OWNS his wife and she must do exactly what he desires.

This is why I say, make sure that you are self-reliant and NEVER depend on anyone else for anything - neither money nor happiness

shouldnt you simply say:"find the RIGHT partner to share life with"?

Aquariann:
There's a gradual redefinition of marriage from what we grew up to understand it to be. Peeps are seriously making marriage seem like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in which you can just walk out at any second with the blink of an eye.

There's this conscious effort by folks to gradually plant this seed of "divorce is a normal thing" in our subconsciousness that it's perfectly ok to walk out of your marriage at any point in time.

And in the next 5-10 years, we'll begin to see and hear of lots of divorce cases due to the flimsiest and silliest excuses due to one form of "abuse" or the other. It can be as much as the husband asking her "Where are you coming from by this time?". And she files for divorce the next day due to threat to life or signs of violence.

By then divorce wouldn't be frowned upon like now or divorcee ostracized again. Just like the baby mama ish now, it'll become perfectly ok to walk out of you marriage once your partner slaps you.


#GodSaveOurHomes #SayNoToViolence

spot on
That's the long term plan. To make divorce seem cool and very acceptable just like babymamaism. For now it's leave if he abuses you. But I can guarantee that very soon what is deemed "abuse" will change. And just like you said, very soon a simple question like "dear, why are you coming late" will be termed abuse.
Obviously, some people have made it a point of duty to destroy that institution called marriage.

MRBrownJ:

sadly, everyone has the right to do what they please while facing being wronged, and if that act is against the law then they should be punished for their act. is killing your cheating wife right? hell no, just like cheating on a partner equally isnt. the minute a person does something wrong, it creates a situation where ANYTHING can happen, depending on whoever is at the receiving end... some just walk away and divorce, some get revenge, and others kill. if this is the 1st time you heard about a cheated person killing their partner then "welcome to the real world"... happens very often.

Stories of people killing cheating spouses is not strange and not acceptable.

On a flip side, is a cheating spouse worth ending your life for?

You want to cheat, and also want to walk out of the marriage freely?

Can you walk out of a contract agreement freely after being paid?

While you do have a great message against abuse, your overall aim is totally poor! If you want to cheat, ask for a divorce. Do not call for a divorce after the act, preach from now till forever, only a few (1 out of 10,000) would leave without injuries.

bukatyne:
Stories of people killing cheating spouses is not strange and not acceptable.

any WRONG act is not acceptable, whether cheating or murder.

On a flip side, is a cheating spouse worth ending your life for?

we often read on NL of many that are gladly committing suicide because they got dumped by their partner, so i guess to some, yes it must be.

KevinDein:
spot on
That's the long term plan. To make divorce seem cool and very acceptable just like babymamaism. For now it's leave if he abuses you. But I can guarantee that very soon what is deemed "abuse" will change. And just like you said, very soon a simple question like "dear, why are you coming late" will be termed abuse.

Obviously, some people have made it a point of duty to destroy that institution called marriage .

Word.. You get the cryptic message behind all this noise about domestic violence. Just like the Feminism issue, the real message would be lost halfway through this campaign. By then the message would be "He has no right to scold you. That's a clear warning he would soon get physical with you. You better leave now"

For every one abusive marriage I've seen (In all honesty, I've not even witnessed one, only stories) I've seen ten equally mutually loving/respecting spouse.

Marriage ain't that bad.

bukatyne:
A wife has the right to cheat; the husband has the right to divorce her.

Really? "A wife has the right to cheat"? A wife who takes vows of lifelong marital fidelity, or some other type of wife? And from whence does this right cometh?

Do you actually know what constitutes a right? And are rights simply accessed as one desires?

Oh, wait, it's bukatyne, my bad...


TV

After all these, someone will still tell me that women are emotional and men logical

I'm not smiling because a woman was beat to death btw but I think the word "logic" needs to be redefined...

Acidosis:

You want to cheat, and also want to walk out of the marriage freely?

Can you walk out of a contract agreement freely after being paid?

While you do have a great message against abuse, your overall aim is totally poor! If you want to cheat, ask for a divorce. Do not call for a divorce after the act preach from now till forever, only a few (1 out of 10,000) would leave without injuries.

More like eating their cakes and having it back.

Acidosis:

You want to cheat, and also want to walk out of the marriage freely?

Can you walk out of a contract agreement freely after being paid?

While you do have a great message against abuse, your overall aim is totally poor! If you want to cheat, ask for a divorce. Do not call for a divorce after the act, preach from now till forever, only a few (1 out of 10,000) would leave without injuries.

You support wives cutting the dikks /pouring hot water & acid /maiming /killing cheating husbands?

Aquariann:

More like eating their cakes and having it back.

Exactly

Adaeze003:
After all these, someone will still tell me that women are emotional and men logical

I'm not smiling because a woman was beat to death btw but I think the word "logic" needs to be redefined...

Logic my sister clearly needs to be re-defined.

If an average Nigerian wife murders her cheating husband, how many husbands will be left?

bukatyne:


You support wives cutting the dikks /pouring hot water & acid /maiming /killing cheating husbands?

No, I am only opposing OP's stance that a woman can freely cheat on her husband, and walk away after the act.

Can a man also cheat on her wife, and walk away?

Before they cheat, they should find good reasons to depart.

MRBrownJ:


the point is wouldnt you understand that man too?

I understand your line of argument but I can't understand in.sanity.

A man decides to engage in criminal activities to impress a woman. His behavior is WRONG. The woman decides to cheat on him some year into the relationship. Her behavior is WRONG. How is the one better than the other? Why does he feel he has the right to take her life? Does he also feel that someone else has the right to take his life because he tricked them into giving him money? You gave the example of yahoo boys.

No, MrBrownJ, I can't understand why someone chooses to do wrong and hopes to get scot-free but wants others to die when he is on the receiving end.

sadly, many dont give a damn what i say because life in Nigeria is all about "being rich or die trying", as they all believe as if their lives depended on it, that WHEN YOU MAKE THE MONEY, THE WOMEN WILL COME LIKE FLIES (and all your worries will go away). although its entirely their choices, their dream when they finally get that money and bling bling is to attract a "good" woman... and to keep that good life AND woman, they will continue doing whatever madness they did to get that money. such stressful life will definitely have a toll on any man. such man is a ticking time bomb!

It is one thing to want money and it is another to kill people for money.

... and let some other dude enjoy where the best part of his money went to? the fruit of all his stress and misery? you really dont understand us men. men sometimes even get mad when someone is fukcing their ex unsignificant biatches, let alone their wives. thats the type of beast you are dealing with here.

It was their choice to spend their money on women so they shouldn't complain. It isn't by force. And that's what you are actually preaching.
They can buy s.ex but they can't buy love and loyalty.

although wrong, i would certainly understand her actions, just like the abused wife killing her abusive husband... i can understand that because of the pain and suffering she may have been through, she got to a point where she snapped and did the unthinkable.

What I understand is that such people are dangerously sick in the true sense of the word. Any sane person knows that killing the person who hurt you will neither get you your money back nor soothe your pain. It will make everything worse.

i am sorry but if i pay brideprice, and every damn pastors tell me that the bible says that women MUST be submissive in marriage, and also that man is the head of family, then yes, such deluded man will believe that he OWNS his wife and she must do exactly what he desires.

@bold

Deluded and in.sane.

shouldnt you simply say:"find the RIGHT partner to share life with"?

No because people change, in fact everything changes constantly, so whoever is right for you today may be wrong for you tomorrow. You can hope that your relationship / marriage will unfold beautifully but there is no guarantee it will and if it doesn't, murder will neither fix it nor make your life better.

Acidosis:

You want to cheat, and also want to walk out of the marriage freely?

Can you walk out of a contract agreement freely after being paid?

While you do have a great message against abuse, your overall aim is totally poor! If you want to cheat, ask for a divorce. Do not call for a divorce after the act, preach from now till forever, only a few (1 out of 10,000) would leave without injuries.

Is the contract legally on the provision that cheating will be persecuted with death penalty?

Mindfulness:


Is the contract legally on the provision that cheating will be persecuted with death penalty?

Hello. How have you been?

Mindfulness:


Is the contract legally on the provision that cheating will be persecuted with death penalty?

No, it would be addressed by a competent professional, and all necessary contract details, levies, etc., would be returned.

In a case where a contractor received funds and absconded to work on another man's project, maiming may be applicable especially when the first dealer is thuggish in nature and endowed with dangerous six packs. However, if the dealer is gentle and understanding in nature, he might seek a safe return of funds and MoU.

We have seen cases where people beat up their tailors, plumbers, building contractors for failing to deliver, etc.

bukatyne:


What has adultery got to do with 'authority' or 'equality'?

A wife has the right to cheat; the husband has the right to divorce her.

The OP is very clear.

Am not in anyway supporting domestic violence.
But in regards to your statement
"A wife has the right to cheat, the husband had the right to divorce her."
Let me sound very African, if the wife cheats & the husband divorces her, will the wife refund her bride price & all that was spent in making her a wife or will she still claim damages??
Before a wife cheats, she should be mindful of huge amount paid on her head as bride price and all the statements coming from her parents & kinsmen that she is the best of the best and the rest. And all the complements given to the husband that he has just paid for the best wife in town. When you hear this kind of things, your family has already created the impression that they are selling you off to the man. And when the man start seeing it that he paid huge sum of money on her head. That's when the problem starts, He will start giving orders to the goods & commodities he payed for.

Acidosis:


No, it would be addressed by a competent professional, and all necessary contract details, levies, etc., would be returned.

In a case where a contractor received funds and absconded to work on another man's project, maiming may be applicable especially when the first dealer is thuggish in nature and endowed with dangerous six packs. However, if the dealer is gentle and understanding in nature, he might seek a safe return of funds and MoU.

We have seen cases where people beat up their tailors, plumbers, building contractors for failing to deliver, etc.

What is your point?

joseph1832:
Hello. How have you been?

Very good, and you?