sweetcocoa:
Go on his knees and pray she repents, while doing everything he can to make sure he provides all her needs, there's no way she won't stop cheating if he does this.

This girl!

Acidosis:


Some men are mean and aggressive.

We all know the kind of man/woman we marry. Some women are so gentle they react to cheating husbands with tears; some are blunt, they'll beat the hell out of the lady.

Telling everyone to react the same way is an exercise in futility.

You know, you talk like these men have no control over what their reactions will be.

Mindfulness:


Well, some people would rather die than spend the rest of their life in jail.

Also, if you kill someone because the person cheated on you and you end up in jail, your WHOLE innocent family will suffer too. Your kids, your siblings and your parents.

Is a cheating spouse worth it?

You're right sha

A cheating spouse is not worth it truly

Oyind17:
Who cheat on you wey u dey on top cheating matter since morning

no woman fit cheat on me

Mindfulness:
First of all, I am not here to eliminate any problems. I am just speaking my mind and sharing my thoughts for the fun of it.

Don't be pious, we are all sharing thoughts - whatever our perspectives or approaches.

Mindfulness:
Secondly, cheating is a personal issue. Jungle justice is a public issue.

Personal to whom? Is the fallout from cheating any less than that from a violent response? What is it that makes 1 personaland the other public?

Mindfulness:
I don't agree but let's agree to disagree.

Even if we disagree to agree kpa kpa

Mindfulness:
It's easy for you and it is easy for me but it OBVIOUSLY is not so easy for MANY people of this generation, previous generations and future generations.

Who told you it's easy (or necessarily hard) for anyone? This is your subjective opinion. The impropriety of the offence is not dependant on the ability, or the willingness to refrain from committing it.

Mindfulness:
Your calling.

And yours is

sweetcocoa:
Agbaya, face your front.

...did you ace it? Or did you present your usual watery submissions.

Olodo

TV

Acidosis:


You're right sha

A cheating spouse is not worth it truly

And that's part of the insanity, why would you give someone who doesn't respect you so much power over your life course?

Mindfulness:


[b]He can forgive her.
He can cheat back.
He can leave her.[
/b]

All of these solutions would be better than murder.

Aye!. And what do you suppose a cheating wife should do to her cheating husband?

Mindfulness:





This girl!

But it's true na, isn't that what these men preach? The man must be doing something wrong for the woman to contemplate cheating in the first place.

I'm just using their line of thought.

sweetcocoa:
You know, you talk like these men have no control over what their reactions will be.

Well, we are not God. We react* to different events differently. Only a few women would escape assault if caught in the act by their husbands.

Mindfulness:
People shouldn't get married to them in the first place but it is not always that obvious and sometimes develops after the deed has been done.

well, for starter, if a woman ACT RIGHT then such fragile men wouldnt go insane....

I understand that they are reaching out for relief BUT it is not long lasting and may do more harm than good to themselves.

ff course they are doing more harm than good, but at that particular moment this is irrelevant as they go into some "trance" like state. nothing you'll say or do would matter.

Everyone has got a brain, they should start and use it.

religion and common sense are compete opposites, being religious and using your brain is a CONTRADICTION in itself... thats why people need to be brainwashed to be good christians/Muslims etc

You consider them stvpid, they think that they are smart because most of them get away with it one way or another. Women are very good at hiding it and men have plenty of excuses.

go tell that to the many men and women who wouldnt listen and are now dead/disfigured/crippled etc

Well, I have not come to this world to fix other people's problems but holla at me if you need some support.

as we are all sharing a space with these mad people, its just a matter of time before someone close to us gets involved in a shooting spree, bombing or whatever madness SOCIETY/RELIGION created

Well, it works for some couples so I let them be and let them live their lives as they choose to. But Lord have mercy upon their poor souls if they try to impose their beliefs on myself and my life.

it does work for some, so long as they dont misbehave, lol.

I would rather be at peace and joyful.

i definitely am but cant pretend that this isnt part of life.... aka the ups and downs, positives and negatives, good and bad.

Acidosis:

no woman fit cheat on me

No talk like that o, come to think of it you think a woman will just stand up and cheat on you?

Acidosis:


Some men are mean and aggressive.

We all know the kind of man/woman we marry. Some women are so gentle they react to cheating husbands with tears; some are blunt, they'll beat the hell out of the lady.

Telling everyone to react the same way is an exercise in futility.

I have not told any man how to react to a cheating wife (except suggest divorce). Whatever the man wants to do, he is free..... as long as he doesn't kill his wife.

And if he does, he should be ready to face the consequences.

Again, I don't know if the peeps on this thread are angry that a woman cheats cos I doubt a wife will be given pass mark for killing a cheating husband.

Mindfulness:


And that's part of the insanity, why would you give someone who doesn't respect you so much power over your life course?

Marriage is like an investment where an investor puts his resources, time, trust & love with the hope to receive something in return.

It is not about giving power to someone who doesn't respect our lives, it's about teaching others that cheating is bad, and for every act, there is a consequence.

If everyone cheats and get away with it, it soon would become a way of life, and people like me would never enter into marriage.

Acidosis:

Well, we are not God. We react to different events differently. Only a few women would escape assault if caught in the act by their husbands.

The point is not whether people are gods or not.

The point is that, you can decide how to react, so there's no justification for a man murdering his wife because of infidelity.

bukatyne:


Mr. Brown,

We are not discussing adultery here; we are discussing if death (at the hands of the spouse) is a deserving consequence of adultery.

And I 100% agree with you that a woman/man shouldn't stay married if they desire to have other partners. I also believe someone who cheats when the other partner errs is indirectly saying they are done with the marriage.

This now leads to other questions...

1. Is sex = love
2. Do people who cheat no longer interested in their marriages?

The premise on which you built your logic is fundamentally wrong!!

I have in one of my threads -- https://www.nairaland.com/2971281/most-men-cant-reconcile-love -- stated the cardinal difference between men and women in sex.

A woman's cheating, by the very nature of her sexual and emotional disposition, entails far more graver betrayal than that of a man.

Chauvinist? Maybe, but true all the same.

A man may cheat and still worships the very ground his wife walks.

A woman may cheat and she's body and soul detached from her husband completely.

Oyind17:
No talk like that o, come to think of it you think a woman will just stand up and cheat on you?

Yes, as little as pink lips, it can make a woman cheat on her husband.

TV01:

Don't be pious, we are all sharing thoughts - whatever our perspectives or approaches.

Me and pious? Breaking news!

Personal to whom? Is the fallout from cheating any less than that from a violent response? What is it that makes 1 personaland the other public?

Jungle justice is much more dangerous than cheating. In a society where jungle justice is the order of the day, innocent people can be killed without a fair trial. I can shout "thief" and a mob will come after you. A man can claim that his wife was cheating and get scot-free even though in fact he just wanted to get rid of her. People can be killed without proper evidence. It is a scary place to be.

Moreover, and I know we won't agree here, even if you are married to someone, the person can decide to do with their body whatever they choose to. A marriage is not slavery. And if the person chooses to break the marriage vows, you are free to leave them. Killing this person is not a solution.

Even if we disagree to agree kpa kpa
Who told you it's easy (or necessarily hard) for anyone? This is your subjective opinion. The impropriety of the offence is not dependant on the ability, or the willingness to refrain from committing it.

It is an opinion, indeed. However, it is also a subjective opinion that cheating is such a big deal.

And yours is

JOY!

TV01:



...did you ace it? Or did you present your usual watery submissions.

Olodo

TV

You don't know anything, biko leave me alone and quote people who'd like you to, I don't, na by force? Nama.

Acidosis:


Yes, as little as pink lips, it can make a woman cheat on her husband.

That's not true but I'd rather stay mute concerning this matter but I'll reply you later.

Lol@ pink lips you funny

bukatyne:


I have not told any man how to react to a cheating wife (except suggest divorce). Whatever the man wants to do, he is free..... as long as he doesn't kill his wife.

And if he does, he should be ready to face the consequences.

Again, I don't know if the peeps on this thread are angry that a woman cheats cos I doubt a wife will be given pass mark for killing a cheating husband.

Killing a cheating spouse is a terrible thing that must be frowned upon by all and sundry.

I am particularly angry that the thread assumes and encourages women to rightly cheat, flaunt it, and walk away, and the same thread expects that men, by virtue of their MATURITY, remain silent and just let go as though nothing happened.

lezz:
The premise on which you built your logic is fundamentally wrong!!

I have in one of my threads -- https://www.nairaland.com/2971281/most-men-cant-reconcile-love -- stated the cardinal difference between men and women in sex.

A woman's cheating, by the very nature of her sexual and emotional disposition, entails far more graver betrayal than that of a man.

Chauvinist? Maybe, but true all the same.

A man may cheat and still worships the very ground his wife walks.

A woman may cheat and she's body and soul detached from her husband completely.

@Acidosis and MRBrownJ,

What sayest thou?

Acidosis:


Killing a cheating spouse is a terrible thing that must be frowned upon by all and sundry..

End of discussion

Acidosis:

I am particularly angry that the thread assumes and encourages women to rightly cheat, flaunt it, and walk away, and the same thread expects that men, by virtue of their MATURITY, remain silent and just let go as though nothing happened.

1. This thread never encouraged women to cheat.

2. If Nairaland is anything to go by, divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a woman

3. Women has been letting go for ages, perhaps men can learn to do same?

bukatyne:


Ok



I still stand by that. A husband cannot hold the wife's pvssy from sleeping with another man. If her husband cannot take it, he can send her packing aka divorce her.



So the issue is not the adultery but the fact that the wife was bought eons ago & the husband's investment has gone down the drain?

If the man kills the adulterous wife, does it return his bride price to him? Does it change the fact that the goods he bought did not serve him well? Does the jail term he serves compensate for the bad investment?

If a man feels the bride price is the problem, he can go to his wife's kinsmen and ask for a refund; I hear some customs return bride price as a sign of divorce.

Is a wife free to kill her cheating husband? [size=2pt]I guess African culture doesn't recognize cheating husbands[/size]

Unfortunately, it doesn't because men are allowed to marry many wives. My point is that these domestic violence that is grown should be checked right from the beginning. Some families will openly tell you that they won't collect s dime in the name of bride price cos their daughter is not for sell. While some will extort the man to the point that it becomes a quarrel. In that case because of our ego as men, the husband will never hesitate to remind the wife how he paid all that was required of him to make her his own that he must obey all he said. And you know most women don't like it when men start going that side. That's one of the primary causes of this whole thing.



Some men will even boost to the wife that what he paid to her family that they can't afford to pay him back or that non of her brothers can afford to pay such for a woman. Mind the line "Paying it for a Woman". Creating the impression that she was bought.

sweetcocoa:
The point is not whether people are gods or not.

The point is that, you can decide how to react, so there's no justification for a man murdering his wife because of infidelity.

Yes, murder is a crime punishable by law. Majority of those who killed their cheating spouses ended in regrets. We might need to address anger issues at this point as most of these acts are never intentional.

Acidosis:


Marriage is like an investment where an investor puts his resources, time, trust & love with the hope to receive something in return.

I guess that this is one of the attitudes that makes marriages so fvcked up. Excuse my choice of words. You people take this issue so seriously that you forget to enjoy what is supposed to be a beautiful journey. It definitely is not an investment in my life.

It is not about giving power to someone who doesn't respect our lives, it's about teaching others that cheating is bad, and for every act, there is a consequence.

If you kill a person because the person cheated on you then you have given them too much power of how your life is going to develop. You have not only punished them but your entire family.

Has the condemnation of cheating EVER made any difference? People are cheating ALL THE TIME, have been and will continue to.
Maybe making such a big deal of it is what makes it so exciting. The forbidden fruit has always had an enormous power of attraction on people.

If everyone cheats and get away with it, it soon would become a way of life, and people like me would never enter into marriage.

Everyone won't cheat. Some people are perfectly happy with monogamy.

The problem is that we impose monogamy on everyone - even on those who would rather choose polygamy but won't because we make it look like any other form of a relationship is abnormal and bad.

bukatyne:


End of discussion



1. This thread never encouraged women to cheat.

2. If Nairaland is anything to go by, divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a woman

3. Women has been letting go for ages, perhaps men can learn to do same?

ahahaha, your third point though. I understand you clearly but men love to protect their territory

Acidosis:


Yes, murder is a crime punishable by law. Majority of those who killed their cheating spouses ended in regrets. We might need to address anger issues at this point as most of these acts are never intentional.

Good, that is what we should be addressing here not cheating, cos believe me, people will always cheat and if we all resort to murder in reaction to that, only very few people like me, would be left.

Acidosis:


Killing a cheating spouse is a terrible thing that must be frowned upon by all and sundry.

I am particularly angry that the thread assumes and encourages women to rightly cheat, flaunt it, and walk away, and the same thread expects that men, by virtue of their MATURITY, remain silent and just let go as though nothing happened.

Lol, this my friend can yarn, when men cheat on their wives, the women in this part of the world let go and some can't even confront their cheating husbands. So men are expected to do same. Forgive her and continue with the marriage.

MRBrownJ:


well, for starter, if a woman ACT RIGHT then such fragile men wouldnt go insane....

Maybe these fragile men should make better choices or first go through some therapy.

ff course they are doing more harm than good, but at that particular moment this is irrelevant as they go into some "trance" like state. nothing you'll say or do would matter.

I know but this understanding won't save them from the consequences they will have to face afterwards.

religion and common sense are compete opposites, being religious and using your brain is a CONTRADICTION in itself... thats why people need to be brainwashed to be good christians/Muslims etc

Well, maybe.

go tell that to the many men and women who wouldnt listen and are now dead/disfigured/crippled etc

Well, they know better now.

as we are all sharing a space with these mad people, its just a matter of time before someone close to us gets involved in a shooting spree, bombing or whatever madness SOCIETY/RELIGION created

That's life.

it does work for some, so long as they dont misbehave, lol.

True.

i definitely am but cant pretend that this isnt part of life.... aka the ups and downs, positives and negatives, good and bad.

I hope the ups, the positives and the good outweigh the other side of the coin BY FAR.

crackhaus:

Hard to admit, but all this talk about who has a right to cheat in marriage will be better laid to rest of women collectively try to abolish this thing called marriage rites (bride price) being paid on their heads.

The truth is that some men (even if they don't say or act like it) have this innate belief that a woman who milked them with expenses such as bride list, bride price, paying for almost everything in the wedding including her wedding dress, and basically giving her the big Cinderella wedding she always dreamed of...has no right to cheat on him - it is what it is.

Women should help themselves and help everyone. Whether you're a working wife or not, some men still feel a woman has no right to cheat on them with the way Nigerian marriage rites are structured.

What you should be trying to deal with is the foundation, which poses the question
"Why exactly do a lot of Nigerian men feel that their wives have no right to cheat on them?" - don't rush, think about it deeply and tell me what you come up with.

You've spoken from the perspective of a man and I must agree with you.

We (I especially) do feel this entitlement and also demand a very high level of loyalty from a woman, most especially if we contribute substantial resources not just in marrying her but in making her become successful. Lets recall Teebillz and Tiwa. Yes TB played a substantial role - helping to pay for her first video which brought her into limelight and eventual success. Being a man, he feels he is entitled to something, more than what Tiwa may be willing to give and that's why there's this 50/50 arrangement between Manager and Artiste.

It is also the same thing if the table is turned - the woman playing substantial role and committing resources to the success of the man. She'll also demand something too.

So I think it is a human nature.

Mindfulness:


I guess that this is one of the attitudes that makes marriages so fvcked up. Excuse my choice of words. You people take this issue so seriously that you forget to enjoy what is supposed to be a beautiful journey. It definitely is not an investment in my life.



If you kill a person because the person cheated on you then you have given them too much power of how your life is going to develop. You have not only punished them but your entire family.

Has the condemnation of cheating EVER made any difference? People are cheating ALL THE TIME, have been and will continue to.
Maybe making such a big deal of it is what makes it so exciting. The forbidden fruit has always had an enormous power of attraction on people.



Everyone won't cheat. Some people are perfectly happy with monogamy.

The problem is that we impose monogamy on everyone - even on those who would rather choose polygamy but won't because we make it look like any other form of a relationship is abnormal and bad.

I tried to agree with all the points you've raised until I saw the last paragraph.

Do you honestly believe a man can cope with a woman with two husbands? If you support men with 3 or more wives, what would be your recommendations for women?

In my own school of thought, it is abnormal to take marital oath with more than 1 spouse. Whoever loves the fantasy of multiple partners should stay single.

Oyind17:
Lol, this my friend can yarn, when men cheat on their wives, the women in this part of the world let go and some can't even confront their cheating husbands. So men are expected to do same. Forgive her and continue with the marriage.

That is the difference between a man and a woman. Men and territory. Men can forgive but continue? Yes he can but it won't be the same as before.