1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.

6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.

21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most.

23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious.

24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.

25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people ?in lo

Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread any how



31.Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time. They will say My Love meet My Sweet heart. And the two
idiots will say "Bossu how far?" ??
?? ??



32.Some of you girls can't even jog
for 5minutes but expect a
guy to last in bed with u for
2hours Ur level of
selfishness demands
a one week crusade..
?

33.It's hard to bewitch African gals these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.



34.Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool. The problem is when u lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face



35.No sex before marriage
If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.



36.Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a *girlfriend*


37."Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth. But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffels me..."


38.If you are ugly,you are ugly.Stop talking about inner beauty cos we dont walk around with X-rays?


39.Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex



40.Dear sisters,

Don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining.........you are not an umbrella -