For the past few months, I have listened, read, seen with my eyes terrible things Widows go through at the hands of their husband's family - A family who shows 'wifey' so much love, adoration and compassion when their "brother, son" was alive.
If his wife had suspected any form of malice, he would have sworn that they loved her more than she knows, because of the pretentious act they show when he is there.

Deep sigh. If death snatches him-
One can imagine a young Woman going through the shock of her husband, partner, lover, companion & bestfriend dying. Yet a bigger shock awaits her in the form of her "in laws", whom she expected to be as broken hearted as she was. Whom she expected to console her, pray for her and comfort her.
Whom she expected to grieve with her- instead they start insulting, degrading, cursing her. Warning her of impending doom.
The use of "jazz" cannot be ignored.
They start sharing all the 'sharables'.
I have heard of brothers removing rings, chain, watches, shoe from their brother's bodies in the hospital without him being pronounced dead, some would wait for the pronouncement (how nice if them). This is really really Sad.

Most Nigerian Men dont think of writing a Will, till they are old, some think, its like you are thinking or expecting death. That is a lie, instead you are securing your family's future. Think of it as giving your wife and Children less heart ache. It is never to early to make a Will, but it can always be too late.
Nigeria's life expectancy is 52.7, many will die before then and many will double that age. Why dont you think about it, you can only metarophically turn in your grave or cry as a spirit when you see what your family is putting your grieving widow and Child through.
Your spouse is your best friend, Tell her all she needs to know. Let her know the banks you have accounts in, your account number, your atm pin, fixed deposits, shares, if you have life insurance, trust funds for her or the kids or both.
Women try to be financially independent please. I know, your hubby wants you to be a house wife, beg him to let you start an online business, that wont affect your domestic duties.
Also Children are gifts from God, i know, but in life i have seen and helped 'too' few widows (i pray i am able to do more), some have five Children, some have seven and end up being helpless, what can she do to sustain those Children and give them the best in this hard economy. Lets have the number of Children that we know we can give the best, that we know that incase of :- abuse, separation, divorce or death - you will be able to single handedly give them the best quality of education and a good life
We pray that our loved ones will live long to see their Greatgrand Children. But not preparing for the worst is Foolhardy. God helps those who help themselves.

Please read 1Timothy 5:8

It is sad to know that it still happens these days and unfortunately, it is the wives and female children that bear the brunt.
From my observation so far, the best way to command respect as a female is to set up something tangible in your own name. Both your family and your inlaws will surely respect you for this. At least, you don't have to scramble for inheritance from either of the two families. If you go to your family, you're reminded of your status as a married woman. If you try to gain access to your husband's properties, you are termed a golddigger and an outsider. So, where exactly do you belong? Whereas, if you are buoyant on your own and these people happen to need your help, they won't remember that you're married or that you're just a wife as the case may be. Even the almighty in-laws will bow before you.
I'll rather invest than squander money on a wedding ceremony, even though the society and even some parents opine that a lady should get married before owning something tangible. Once you leave your family to a marry a man in Nigeria, most parents withdraw from your case. In this case, I will rather just chart a course for myself before marriage as far as financial stability is concerned than wait for joint investment with any husband.