Life is getting boring and I'm loosing interest in the occupation of myself. I'm tired of this vicious circle of endless wondering. I'm tired of always pleasing myself, always finding satisfaction for myself. I have become a slave of my cravens and I desire freedom. I'm tired of wanting and pursuing, all these seem like it would never end. Where shall I find rest for my wary soul. I want all these to end, I want death. Non of it make sense anymore, all these activities, responsibilities, pursuit etc is this what life is all about? I don't want to be consume with the mundane things of this world, this tedious walk that man have assign for themselves. I'm tired of waking up each day to continue in this routine work, this unending activities. I don't want to be an ordinary man, don't want to be another animal that walk the surface of the earth. What is the essence of living to survive in order to die one day, life just doesn't make sense to me anymore, it's meaning less. It's you I want oh Lord, it's you I've esteem above life. It's you I want to live.

No! I don't want to live life and be so engross in myself, so occupied in satisfying myself - going my own way and doing whatever I like. I'm tired of this darkness that surrounds this self-life. Pursuing self-interest, self-promotion, it's all death and loneliness. I'm tired of indulging myself. Lord it is you I want, it you my soul hunger for. I want to see you, to look upon you, to do you and say you, to be occupied with you. I want the end of my self. I want to rest from the wariness of being myself and living my life. It is your life I want oh Lord, so I embrace the cross. Yes, this is the rest I seek oh Lord, to fall upon the altar and lay dead for you my love. Oh dear Lord, I'm obsess with you, I'm posses by your love and I'm addicted to the sweetness of your life. So give me the cross oh Lord and I would accept it with gladness. I would reach out through this death to experience your life, to be united with your life. Oh, the life behind that cross is meaningless, it is worst than death. Take me through the cross and bring me to your life.

How can I continue to live this life when I've seen a life far more beautiful in Christ? Oh the treasures of this world have lose there value in my eyes, life have lose it's beauty to me. For I have seen something greater and I would die a thousand time to have you, sweet Jesus. I'm ready Lord and I desire it, give me the cross and I would embrace it with all my being.

Where are Christians who love the cross, who have experience the fellowship of his suffering and desire it.
Are there Christians who are tired of this religion with all it's activities, division and doctrinal battle.
Where are Christians who are tired of theologies and intellectual argument but desire the reality, the life.
Can we still find Christians who desire God and want to really know Him in an intimate way.
Where are Christians who knows the Father's heart and would die a thousand time to bring smile to His face.
Where are those who are bear and suffer the burden of the Lord.

If you are this Christian then let us meet, fellowship in Christ and discuse the issues of the kingdom. Contact me with:
08103727677
hiswordxray@gmail.com
You can also visit my blog at: hiswordxray..com

THAT I MIGHT KNOW HIM

"that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death," (Phi 3:10)
I have come to realize that there is nothing as valuable as knowing God, yes the value of knowing Him is infinite. I see people pursuing all kinds of knowledge but as for me, I want to know Him. I'm not interested in knowing the religion called Christianity but to know the living person called Christ. No, not morality, right and wrong, don'ts and dos, laws and rules. I am not interested in knowing Biblical stories and fascinating principles. I'm not interested in knowing about a book, quoting Scriptures and Scriptures without the idea of the person the Scripture is talking about. I don't want some mystical knowledge.

Yes to know him intimately, to know that which is dearest to his heart, to know what brings joy to his heart, what makes him smile. To know who he is, the beauty of his status, the majesty of his glory, the liberaty of his reign; the sweetness of his love, the mystery of his wisdom, the power of his Lordship and the greatness of his presence. To know what constitute his very nature. I want to get lost just knowing him. Who is he? He seems to be the most mysterious thing in all of eternity. I want my eyes to be open, to be able to behold him. Oh, that he may reveal himself to me, yes even me.

"for in Him we live and move and have our being," (Acts 17:28).
He is my home, the land that I live and I want to know this land. I want to know the "unsearchable riches" (Eph 3:7) of this land. That my root might be planted deep in this land, that I might be firmly built here. I want to walk and talk with him. I want him to be my best friend, my companion, to fellowship always with him and do everything together with him. I want him to become so real to me, more real than the chair I'm sitting right now. Oh, how I long to just reach out and touch his heart, to be a part of his life and join him in the journey he has started from eternity past. What has he been doing since? What keep him so preoccupied? That I may know his passion, his ultimate obsession, where does his heart lies? I don't want to be just a Christian among other Christian just trying to serve God. But I want to know intimately, this captivating man - Christ Jesus. I want to be in a deeper relationship with God.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF HIS SUFFERING

"that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death," (Phi 3:10)
I feel so drawn by my Lord and I gravitate towards his beauty. But as I proceed there seems to be this heaviness, where does it come from? It keep slowing me down until I can't move anymore. It is my flesh, and I could hear my Lord saying "die here or go no further with me". The fear of death grip me and I try to run but his love pulled me back. His love tightened it clutch over me and brought me to the cross. I must die! That reality is unshakable, so I let go of the struggle and in submission I ask him to do what ever he pleases with me. Oh! The suffering of the cross, just nailed there and wasting away. I am losing myself, I am being drained, being brought to utter emptiness. Paul calls it "the fellowship of his suffering" and indeed it is, for I feel like I am right there with him on the cross, partaking in his suffering. All the while I lay here at the alter of sacrifice, allowing this fire burn me, how can I bear this. Then my Lord came to comfort me. He reminded me of the throne of glory that lies beyond the cross and the temple of his sweet presence that is just after the alter of sacrifice. So I looked beyond and I saw a living hope and it gave me strength. Now I could "endure the cross and despise the shame" just like he did (Heb 12:2), indeed this is a fellowship.

BEING CONFORMED TO HIS DEATH

"that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death," (Phi 3:10)

So here I found myself on the cross, slowly fading away. On one hand it fills good to fellowship with my Lord on the cross but on the other hand the suffering is unbearable. Look at me just hanged here wasting away, all my talent, all my skills, all my knowledge, all my ambition, all my plans and all my desires are going to die with me. Little by little I fade away, I'm loosing myself, I'm loosing interest in the things I use to love and I no longer enjoy doing the things I use to do. The person I use to be is slowly draining away, yes I am being emptied of myself.

I don't want to die, I want to escape from this cross, to run away. But I can't, this love, this sweet and soft love, has now turn into huge nails that holds me firm to the cross. Intoxicated by the pain I cried "Father why, why did you bring me here, is there not another way, why did you live me here to die?". I didn't know what I was saying, the pain was just too much, I can't bear it any long, I can't continue to hold on to my life, so I gave up and died. I just hang there dead and then I discovered I can't do anything; I can't live, I can't live the Christian life; I can't read the Bible; I can't pray, I don't even know how to pray; I can't go and evangelize; I can't preach or minister in anyway; I can do that or do this, I just can't help myself, for I don't know how to do anything.

Then I cried "Lorld, I am dead, I am broken, I use to be so knowledgeable especially when it comes to the Bible or spiritual things but now I know nothing and I can't do anything, I just can't live anymore, for I don't know how to live. Oh my Lord, come live through me. Come read the Bible through me, come pray through me, come evangelize through me and come minister through me. Yes Lord, come live the christian life through me, for I am died". I can't jump into any activity anymore, all I could do is just wait on the Lord to come live through me.

THE POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION

"that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death," (Phi 3:10)

As I lie there dead, waiting, unable to do anything while others are busy doing this and that, getting so involved in many activities. I just lay down dead, they say I am too passive and that I have to get up and do something for myself, they ask me to do this and that. They started singing the praise of various activities, especially spiritual activities, all the while they emphasize the benefits of doing this or that just to make me get up and join them. But I couldn't, what they didn't understand was that I am dead and I just couldn't do anything on my own.

As I remain there dead, constantly crying for life, not my life but his life because I no longer want to live my life, I have already given up my life. I cry desperately for his life and then it came, it took hold of me, it posses me. It was like every part of my being now belongs to this Life, yes the Life now owns me. It tighten it clutches upon me, it's hold is too powerfull and I became a slave to the Life, yes here I found myself a prisoner of the Life. As I was thinking that I have been cursed for I would live a prisoner all my life, then suddenly something happened, something wonderful, something great, something beautiful. I found myself doing things in a new way, a better way.

When I pray it is totally different, totally alien from my former prayer life. It is like heaven comes down and envelope me, I enter into the presence of the Almighty God. Oh, curse be to this body for it cannot withstand the presence of my Lord, it always react to the glory of his presence. Each time I close my eyes to pray it like I'm in a whole new world and then the Spirit posses me, for I cannot pray on my own, he prays through me. Oh, what a wonderful prayer life, what a powerful prayer life, it is the power of his resurrection.

When I open my Bible, it like a light brighter than the sun just emanate from my Bible. I can't read a verse without feeling like my head is about to explode, all the load and loads of revelation, I can't bear it, I can't contain it. No, it is not my intellectual but it is the power of his resurrection. My Lord comes down to teach me, he tells me 'read here', and as I do he says 'it enough now go to this other book and read here', well I just follow. And then he says 'stop there and read it all over again, then jump to so and so verse or so and so book', and when he is through he says 'can you see'. And then it is like a whole new world just break open for me and I could see, I could see behind the veil. Oh, and it beautiful, it powerful, it a mighty revelation and yes I could see.

My evangelism is also the same, it is beyond the natural. I preach to people who are unwilling to listen and by the time I'm through they are like "Wow", it like this light just comes and shine upon them and they see Christ, they see his beauty and greatness. No, this is not me, this cannot be me, it the power of his resurrection. All my abilities, skills and knowledge I us to boast of before, I just look at them now and laugh, for they are nothing compared with the power of his resurrection which I now experience. All those things I thought I was good at doing and now I realize I was greatly lacking. Now It's like whatever I do there is this power behind it. Now I feel truly alive, yes this is real life and it comes from death, it is a product of the power of his resurrection.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Gal 2:20). This is the normal life of a true Christian.

THE ALTAR

The concept of the altar embodies a divine principle. The impetus of the erecting an altar and the attitude of the heart towards it review the constituent of Christ. Looking very closely at the Scripture we discover what leads to one erecting an altar. An alter in the Old Testament is usually erected just after the greatness and supremacy of God is unveiled. When God reveals Himself and do something miraculous an altar is built there. The Altar of sacrifice springs forth from the revelation of Christ. The first time altar appear in the Bible was when God unveil His supremacy to man. Man had gone astray, they had rebelled against their Creator and they were living their lives for themselves. They had no regard for the One who created them and they did whatever they like with their lives. Then God came and reminded them that He created them and their lives were in His hands. He did this by wiping them away from the surface of the earth, sparing only a family to be a witness to His supremacy. And then Noah erected An altar.

The altar was erected out of the revelation of the supremacy of God. Every other altar in the Scripture is erected as a response to the sighting of God. The second time altar appear in the Scripture the Bible started, "Then the Lord appeared to Abram and said... And Abram built an altar there" (Gen 12:7). Also "Isaac built an altar there" (Gen 26:25) when and where "the Lord appear to him" (Gen 26:24). The altar was built upon the revelation of God. What is the implication of this in the New Testament? We can only understand this by looking at the meaning of the altar. Yes the altar is for worship but specifically it is meant to secure God's right as Lord. The sacrifice on the altar is a portion of the fruit of the earth which is meant to represent the whole earth. And as that portion is offer onto God it signifies that the whole earth has been given onto God. God already own the earth because He is Lord and Creator of all but when man rebelled against His Lordship there arises the need for His right to be secured.

After God reminded man that He is still Lord and that He is supreme Noah responded to this by yielding to God's Lordship. He acknowledge and secured God's right over the earth through the sacrifice on the altar. Noah gave a portion of the earth to God signifying that the whole earth is His. As a result God can now exercise His right over the earth. God cannot express the goodness of His reign on earth until His right is secured. Also the altar is the testimony of God's right. Anyone that sees an altar in a land would immediately know that God has a right over that land because it has been given to Him. Therefore the purpose of erecting an altar is to acknowledge the Lordship of God, secure His right and testify of His Lordship.

The altar is only erected at the revelation of God in His greatness. This means as New Testament believes we cannot truly give all to the Lord until we have a revelation of Him. It is in the revelation of His Lordship that we submit and give ourselves as a living sacrifice to secure His right over all of humanity. Man is filled with pride and he doesn't know how to bow until he is brought to his knees by the impression of the greatness and majesty of the King of kings. If we truly want to submit completely to the Lord we must seek for the revelation of His greatness and the supremacy of His Lordship.

THE SACRIFICE


Sacrifice was emphasize all through the Old Testament. There is so much significance place upon it but what is it really about? Is it mainly about the blood and death? But many of these sacrifice have nothing to do with blood because it involves vegetables and fruits. God took the issue of sacrifice seriously because it was a shadow of the things to come, it embodies a divine principle. Sacrifice is not just about offering somethings to God but it is about giving all to God by offering a portion. It is about securing God's right and worshiping Him as Lord. In the Old Testament the concept of firstfruits, tithe and sacrifice on the altar all embodies this divine principle that God's right must be secured on earth in order for blessedness of His reign to be made manifest in this world.

In the Old Testament a portion of every fruit of the land was sacrifice to God so that Israel would continue to see the blessing of God's reign in their land. A portion of the harvest and a portion of the livestock of the land is sacrifice to represent God's ownership or Lordship over the whole of the land. Sacrifice however is worship, it is the way God is worship. Worship to the Old Testament people is not singing and dancing but the offering of sacrifice upon the altar. This is how God is worship in the temple in Jerusalem. God is not worship by simply singing and dancing but by securing His right over all, by acknowledging His Lordship and yielding to that Lordship. We return all to Him by giving a tenth, the firstfruits or a portion and we reinsure Him of His right and ownership over all. This is true worship, this is the way to reverence the Lord.

Ever since Adam sinned Satan have been lord over the earth and God wanted to win back the lordship of the world. So God started by securing His Lordship over a people and a land on earth which was the Israelite and Canaan land. This was achieve through the Jewish religious system that was centered around the temple and the altar. There must constantly be sacrifice on the altar in order to secure God's right over the people and the land. Without this God cannot express His reign in the land but the land wasn't the final goal, God wanted the whole earth. Therefore another altar needed to be set up, an altar universal and all-inclusive. An altar by which He would win back all of the earth. This altar would be gigantic and on it would be sacrifice a tenth, the firstfruits - and yes, a portion of the earth that would represent the whole earth and secure God's right and Lordship over all. But this altar must be so powerful that it would transcend the natural and establish itself in the heavenlies where the rulers of the world dwells. The altar must be utterly spiritual, for the spiritual rules over the natural. There at the center of the earth, the capital of the world God erected an altar and sacrificed upon it a tenth, the firstfruits - a portion of the earth. And that sacrifice was Christ together with all those that constitute his body. The Bible reveals that "Christ is the firstfruits..." (1Cor 15:23) and it also says that, "Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures." (James 1:18).

The sacrifice that won and secures God's right over the world is Christ and his body the Church. And as long as this sacrifice remains on the altar God can express His reign on earth and claim His right over the world. Sacrifice means death, it means complete utterness to God. Until the Church get to a place where she is utterly dead to herself and utterly for God she haven't given God true worship and God cannot fully exercise His right and His reign on earth. God cannot fully express His will on earth (for God's reign is the expression of God's will) and "The Lord is..., not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." (2Pete 3:9). But people are perishing because God cannot fully express His will on earth and He can't express His will (and win all those souls for Himself) because His right over the world have not been secured. The Church cannot be a force to be reckon with on earth until she learn true worship and knows how to stay and remain on the altar as a sacrifice in Christ to God. The secret of having a larger harvest and displaying the mighty power of God on earth is simply the sacrifice.

Happy Sunday

I've lost my ability to live, I can't live, I just don't know how. In helplessness I fall at your feet Lord. I find no sufficiency in myself, I look into myself and I find no ability to live. In desperation I hold on to you as my live. I'm helpless without you Lord, please live through me, be my life. Holy Spirit teach me to live by His Life, I need your help Holy Spirit, I desperate. I rest upon the One who is Life. I rest cause I can't do anything on my own, I'm dead. Yes Christ is in me and I can feel his life in my spirit. Please Lord help me to live by this Life, for without this Life I can't live, I can't do nothing. Please Lord live through me.

Where are those who are desperate for the depth of God. Hungry to explore the unsearchable riches of Christ

Happy Sunday

THE THRESHOLD

A threshold is the bottom-most part of a doorway that one crosses to enter, you cannot enter a house without crossing the threshold. In the ancient time among the Semitic people the father is the family's priest and the altar of sacrifice is at the threshold. It is at the threshold that animals are sacrificed. When God called Moses to the mountain and told him how the temple should be, the altar of sacrifice is located at the entrance of the temple and that is how the temple had always been.

You cannot enter the temple without passing the altar - here embodies a spiritual principle. The altar represent the cross and it is located at the entrance of the house, for the Church is the house of God. The Spirit is trying to tell us something, he is saying the only way to the house of God is the altar of sacrifice, yes It's the cross. In the house of God lies the presence of God, you find the fullness of God, the household of God. It is in the House that we come face to face with God, we encounter Him. But you cannot enter the House without crossing the threshold, you have to pass through the altar of sacrifice. Also in the New testament we find the cross before Pentecost, the cross is the only way to the Church.

This means that before we enter into the House of God we must first experience the altar. We must experience the cross, it is not enough to just hear about the cross and believe the cross but we must experience the cross, for you cannot avoid it. The reason for the weakness of Christianity today is because we have not enter the presence of God's power that lies in the house. And we have not entered because we have refuse to cross the threshold, we run away from the experience of the sacrifice. The more experience the cross the more we get closer to expressing the Church according to God's full thought. The only way we can bring down or manifest on the earth, the Church according to God's full thought is by going deeper in our experience of the cross.

How does one become a Christian? It is a spiritual thing, the person must be brought to a place where he says "from today on I am dead, I have been crucified with Christ and l no longer live but Christ now lives through me, for he is my Lord and my life". This is not just a speech, for it springs out from the heart and it is a response to the in-working of the Holy Spirit to make the person have a living encounter of the cross. It is the encounter of the cross, it is passing through threshold that one become a member of the household.

The bride of the first man, Adam was not created from the dust, she was formed purely from the bone of her husband. She has nothing to do with the dust and the dirt of the earth, for she is purely from Adam. So also the Church was created out of the second man, she is purely Christ, for she has nothing to do with the flesh. There is nothing like flesh in the Church and that is why the altar is at the door of th Church. Anybody that wants to enter into the Church, to become a member of the Church must allow their flesh die at the altar before they can gain entrance into the Church. Yes, all flesh must die at the cross before we can truly experience what it means to be a body of Christ.

Welcome to the message of the cross, it only comes by revelation not by theology...

Happy Sunday