It is a long piece. I wish I could shorten it...

Have you ever seen a miracle face to face? My case was one of them...

During my time in the University, I took the risk of impersonating a lower level girl in my department. I had always been writing exams for people but never in the same department as mine. This particular exam became the straw that broke the camel's back. Can a straw actually do that? Let's continue first...

Fast forward to the D-day , I arrived early, surveyed the whole arena and beamed at anyone who looked my corner. You know that feeling you get when you're with one of the most beautiful girl in your department?

I didn't always have any atom of fear writing exams for people, but this particular one felt different.
We started the exam. Attendant's list was passed as usual. I asked the girl (she was at my back) if there was any need for me write my own name. She said I should just leave it that she would write hers only. Normally, Lecturers didn't care about attendant's list when it's passed around and brought back. It's formality to them.

After the name writings and blah blah blah announcements. One in particular was that impersonators should stand and leave the hall before it would be too late. They always said it every time. I hadn't actually seen anyone Who adhered to it. I was very relaxed and busy writing so that I would leave the hall early.

My attention was then called upon when I heard,

"one person has not written down his name from this column (my column precisely). Just come now and do so".

We were just 36 on that column. It was easy to spot that one person failed to write his/her name because we sat four--four in each long seat. I didn't even bother going to meet the mean man. I thought it would all end on that announcement and nothing more. I just concentrated on the sweet physics I was demolishing. This time, I was wrong for thinking it would just end in that announcement.

The man reiterated,

" this is the last warning: if you haven't written down your name, please come do it now. I'm just doing whoever it is a huge favor o"

I said inside my mind, " this Wicked man, doing who a favor? No be me you go deceive today"

Before I knew what was happening, the lecturer , alongside a man from senate( who always had an exam malpractice form), had begun going seat by seat, cross-checking with the attendant's list. By then, I'd wetted my trouser twice. I knew the risk quite well. Rustication awaits in just few minutes, hours or even days, for my school frowned upon cheating, and much more on higher offence as impersonation. The latter attracts rustication and no two ways about it.

I looked back at the girl. She just concentrated and kept mute like nothing was happening. Chai, I remembered my very strict Dad, my sweet Mum, ...... The disappointment that would be on their faces if I came home with that news.

"What am I gonna tell them? That a fat bombom girl got me rusticated?"

I was on the brink of tears but held it back. Not quite long, I snapped out of my thoughts. it was my turn.

Lecturer- Hey, mr. Man, get ur booklet.


I gave it to him. He cross-checked my name with his list and gave it back to me. I was like,

"what on earth had just happened? Was it a charm or blindness a young , intelligent, mean ,vibrant man in his late 30s."

Believe me it was too surreal for reality! He wasn't blind nor was he sick. My hand-writing was bold, very bold enough for even the blind to see. The attendant's list was written line by line, so there was no room at all for his forgetfulness. He checked others on my seat and went to the people at my back. He paused, came back to my row (I believed he'd just got back to his senses) and shouted again,

"hey, young Man, get your booklet!".

Only God knows I died and woke in a flash of some seconds.

"Hey, mr man, are you stupid? I said get your booklet!" He barked like a dog.

I didn't even look at him, but I sure saw as his hand got on the booklet of the guy beside me and not actually mine. Ofcourse, the guy's name must be on that list. The lecturer confirmed it and went his way to others at my back.


that tremendous high like when one is closer to ejaculation was how I felt-- I could remember I felt semen in my boxer...Lolzzzz


What shut his eyes off my booklet, I still can't tell till date. I just heard him whisper to the man from the Senate,

" but these people are 36 and there are 35 names here. I've tried my best to help them anyway, incase one fails from not writing his/her name".


Tell that to the gods! (I said within me, with relief and smiles written on my already sweaty face)

It was just that confirmation I needed to steer clear of "IMPERSONATION" and never , ever to try it again in this life or any other one to come.

Ok