GENDER EQUALITY or EQUITY? Stand UP! and be counted!!! Nigeria is the only place in the world where most people lay on their backs, yet want to be counted!!! how does that work Until we all accept that the essence of true gender equity is not what we debate on the floor legislative assemblies but a colossus of deliberate everyday effort in our relationships where we all realize that our place in any relationship(platonic or otherwise) is almost automatically determined by what we individually bring to the table, the value u directly/indirectly add to such a relationship...I attended a colloquium in a premier university recently and a professor before presenting his paper took almost 10mins to eulogize his dear wife and at a point, the entire crowd of people on seat were looking into each other's faces as if to say 'why the epistle?', ' who that one epp?' Until the esteemed professor made us all quiver in our seats with the touching story of how the woman in question(his wife) practically carried him on 'her back' and single handedly paid for his education through the university to postgraduate and up until he got his PhD!!!! The entire hall could not bottle their emotions, a solemn purgation of emotions followed as we all helplessly and almost subconsciously echoed 'awwwwwwww!!!!' , very touching!!! ( u needed to be there)...Am not sure that woman needs to demand/fight/ struggle for equality/equity/ respect in that relationship... She EARNED it all and much more!!! It is not until u sponsor someone through a university degree n beyond, but until you realize u will never be treated with fairness or better yet respect if u set out into any relationship scheming on the things you will get out of it rather than the value you will ultimately contribute and by the way, SEX!(which for heaven's sake does not have to be presented as a one way benefit!!! It takes two to tangle!!!) CANNOT be the only thing you bring to the plate in the name of contributions and expect so much in return; after all, simple psychology explains how disadvantaged and subdued you already are when you owe anyone a gratitude, even so much when you are at the receiving end of gestures, mall-time, money, gifts, recharge card e.t.c. without anything commensurate in return, to truly deserve such gesture and yet be respected; give and take makes it better by far! These nice things and more are almost naturally deserved if only u have contributed and still adds value to the relationship...Let us seek first to add real substance to our relationships and just like the proverbial saying, 'every other thing shall be added onto u', first of which is that feel of fairness, love and deep respect which truly exemplifies in very simple terms the essence of equity as u may like...Let us raise a generation of children who will grow up,strive, and add value, who will be more concerned about contributions and less about gratifications, who rather than lay down and be trampled, will STAND UP!!!! and be counted; never again will equity be a discourse of contention...Never! #StandUp4GenderEquity L•D•K•O•T•B

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