abduljabbar4:
Op you are looking for trouble oo. What do you know about christianity?

AnonyNymous:
I died at 'trithe'
***
@op honestly all you need is BSc knowledge in psychology and you're good to go. Glad I could help.

APCsupporter:
Good morning everyone. I have a little money that I really want to invest. After thinking for so long, I have decided to build my own church because I also want to have my own private jet and Range Rover. I will be the pastor.


As a pastor, how do I make my members to believe EVERYTHING that I tell them whether it makes sense or not? Like what do I need to do to make them believe that I can help an amputee to grow a new limb?

How much does it cost to hire people who will be giving testimonials to the church members?

I also intend to make my own version of the bible. How do I go about it?

For the first time, members are not to pay tithe. They are to pay trithe I.e, 30% of their monthly income.

Do I need to poor chemicals on my water to make them believe that it is holy?

How much does it cost to hire people who would vibrate while I cast out demons off them? Alternatively, how much do I need to hire people who would pretend to be deaf so that I would "heal" them?



Thank you for your anticipated answer.

Muafrika2:

You are in luck. There are many atheists here who double up as pastors:
Hardmirror

APCsupporter:
Good morning everyone. I have a little money that I really want to invest. After thinking for so long, I have decided to build my own church because I also want to have my own private jet and Range Rover. I will be the pastor.


As a pastor, how do I make my members to believe EVERYTHING that I tell them whether it makes sense or not? Like what do I need to do to make them believe that I can help an amputee to grow a new limb?

How much does it cost to hire people who will be giving testimonials to the church members?

I also intend to make my own version of the bible. How do I go about it?

For the first time, members are not to pay tithe. They are to pay trithe I.e, 30% of their monthly income.

Do I need to poor chemicals on my water to make them believe that it is holy?

How much does it cost to hire people who would vibrate while I cast out demons off them? Alternatively, how much do I need to hire people who would pretend to be deaf so that I would "heal" them?



Thank you for your anticipated answer.

HCpaul:
I don't support this but anyway, to have your own church in Nigeria is very easy. Infact, you can even invent your own religion and become the pioneer of your own invention.

Follow the below steps and come back with a testimony.

Step 1. Go to them in the name of their God and camouflage as one of the apostles.

Step 2. Narrate to them the fictitious story of your calling by tracking some predictions there too. This is because the Christians believe in fictions and predictions.

Step 3. Go for their emotions and not their brain cuz with that, you will successfully enslave their mind. And believe me, they will believe everything you say.

Step 4. Tell them that you are to give to them the word of faith. To achieve this, you will have to have a vast knowledge of the Scripture, speaks it with passion and demonstrate it with your emotions.
Oyedepo is very sharp in this step.

Step 5. Demonstrate the supernatural presence of the holy spirit by performing miracles. This is not difficult, infact very easy. Just make sure that you've successfully planted the seed of ignorance and delusion in their mind and just lay your hand upon their forehead. Believe me, they will fall. Why will they fall? Ah ah... How will people that have been expecting to be touched and immediately fall won't fall?? Falling is their expectation so they will have to satisfy their wants.
You will also gave to learn some magical trick backup with full courage to achieve this. Chris is a very good example.

Step 6. Monetize the over procedure by just telling them to pay their tithes and offerings by referencing Malachi 3:8 for them. Don't stop there if you really want to ride private jet. Convince them to always give and to sow seed into the life of God ordained ministers. As if that is not enough, proceed by telling them to make sacrifice by instructing them to pick out a piece of paper and write down the vow.

Also motivate them that they should do God service first that they will be mightily blessed and eternally rewarded.
Tell them that God will open the windows of heaven on their behalf "not knowing that the window is intentionally opened to make you rich".

Above all, crown it up by telling them that there is a heaven that awaits them where there won't be weeping and suffering. They will be all happy and will started shouting hallelujah without control. And also make sure that you can manipulate the Scripture very well.

My brother, you are rich because establishing church is the fastest and most profitable business in the country.

I wish you good luck.

APCsupporter:


Thank you very much sir. I totally appreciate this. I seems like I need some training though. I need to learn how to scream "rtobakulashetiamatasakatoba! Ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat! Scontrobobobu sontobobobobobobobo"

APCsupporter:
Good morning everyone. I have a little money that I really want to invest. After thinking for so long, I have decided to build my own church because I also want to have my own private jet and Range Rover. I will be the pastor.


As a pastor, how do I make my members to believe EVERYTHING that I tell them whether it makes sense or not? Like what do I need to do to make them believe that I can help an amputee to grow a new limb?

How much does it cost to hire people who will be giving testimonials to the church members?

I also intend to make my own version of the bible. How do I go about it?

For the first time, members are not to pay tithe. They are to pay trithe I.e, 30% of their monthly income.

Do I need to poor chemicals on my water to make them believe that it is holy?

How much does it cost to hire people who would vibrate while I cast out demons off them? Alternatively, how much do I need to hire people who would pretend to be deaf so that I would "heal" them?



Thank you for your anticipated answer.

ajepako:



Dude...so you have abandoned politics section and hiding here in religion and computer section...

We hardly hear your voracious and loud voices and support for sai baba as you used to do and l notice your last post in politic section was April first with your prank post.... what has happened?

Firefire abi na only me notice...

APCSUPPORTER OVER....

Firefire:


All the yeye fowls don take cover, awon olori gbeske.

ajepako:


see as the guy pick race comot leave others to fight the fight...chai...their lord na proper fall hander...

APCsupporter:
I atheists and Muslims who have an idea are also welcome

HCpaul:


Tongues That one is very simple now. I will give you some website links where you can learn the languages grammar. I mean real ones like Oyedepos does.

Example:

Zuze

Mari

Zezu

Kariya

Concatenate the above words and you will have things like "ZuzeMariZezuKariya". I can also give you enormous lists that you will just have to concatenate and create your own tongues dialect.

It is only a lying Christian that will deny this fact by claiming that an angel helped him to speak tongues when he actually knows how much he struggled to become a grammarian in the dialect.

Some Christians novice in the language will open their mouths and start invoking a single word "ZuzeZuzeZuzeZuzeZuze" and they will finally ends it with "Zuze Marikaya".

I once argue with my pastors wife on speaking in tongues based on an argument that I heard from a seminarian but she left the question unanswered and deviated but because she is the pastors wife, I succumbed.

But if I drop the argument here, our beloved inexperienced theists will start calling those theologians unbelievers.

Theologians clearly stated it that the Bible is not sane but they have to drop the theological approach and just accept it because they are told to.
Most of these people don't believe those write up with passion but just have to obey it to satisfy the Christian community.

AnonyNymous:
I died at 'trithe'
***
@op honestly all you need is BSc knowledge in psychology and you're good to go. Glad I could help.

ifenes:
I am a pastor in a BIG church in England. My advise to you OP.. If you want to catch a monkey you must .......

APCsupporter:
Good morning everyone. I have a little money that I really want to invest. After thinking for so long, I have decided to build my own church because I also want to have my own private jet and Range Rover. I will be the pastor.


As a pastor, how do I make my members to believe EVERYTHING that I tell them whether it makes sense or not? Like what do I need to do to make them believe that I can help an amputee to grow a new limb?

How much does it cost to hire people who will be giving testimonials to the church members?

I also intend to make my own version of the bible. How do I go about it?

For the first time, members are not to pay tithe. They are to pay trithe I.e, 30% of their monthly income.

Do I need to poor chemicals on my water to make them believe that it is holy?

How much does it cost to hire people who would vibrate while I cast out demons off them? Alternatively, how much do I need to hire people who would pretend to be deaf so that I would "heal" them?



Thank you for your anticipated answer.

HCpaul:
I don't support this but anyway, to have your own church in Nigeria is very easy. Infact, you can even invent your own religion and become the pioneer of your own invention.

Follow the below steps and come back with a testimony.

Step 1. Go to them in the name of their God and camouflage as one of the apostles.

Step 2. Narrate to them the fictitious story of your calling by tracking some predictions there too. This is because the Christians believe in fictions and predictions.

Step 3. Go for their emotions and not their brain cuz with that, you will successfully enslave their mind. And believe me, they will believe everything you say.

Step 4. Tell them that you are to give to them the word of faith. To achieve this, you will have to have a vast knowledge of the Scripture, speaks it with passion and demonstrate it with your emotions.
Oyedepo is very sharp in this step.

Step 5. Demonstrate the supernatural presence of the holy spirit by performing miracles. This is not difficult, infact very easy. Just make sure that you've successfully planted the seed of ignorance and delusion in their mind and just lay your hand upon their forehead. Believe me, they will fall. Why will they fall? Ah ah... How will people that have been expecting to be touched and immediately fall won't fall?? Falling is their expectation so they will have to satisfy their wants.
You will also gave to learn some magical trick backup with full courage to achieve this. Chris is a very good example.

Step 6. Monetize the over procedure by just telling them to pay their tithes and offerings by referencing Malachi 3:8 for them. Don't stop there if you really want to ride private jet. Convince them to always give and to sow seed into the life of God ordained ministers. As if that is not enough, proceed by telling them to make sacrifice by instructing them to pick out a piece of paper and write down the vow.

Also motivate them that they should do God service first that they will be mightily blessed and eternally rewarded.
Tell them that God will open the windows of heaven on their behalf "not knowing that the window is intentionally opened to make you rich".

Above all, crown it up by telling them that there is a heaven that awaits them where there won't be weeping and suffering. They will be all happy and will started shouting hallelujah without control. And also make sure that you can manipulate the Scripture very well.

My brother, you are rich because establishing church is the fastest and most profitable business in the country.

I wish you good luck.

APCsupporter:
Do I need to poor chemicals on my water to make them believe that it is holy?

How much does it cost to hire people who would vibrate while I cast out demons off them? Alternatively, how much do I need to hire people who would pretend to be deaf so that I would "heal" them?
Thank you for your anticipated answer.