if i tell my mother fk off, I don't like you, I don't want u in my life
she wldnt even care, she will just go on abt her business

recently my Jamaican neighbour quarrelled with her daughter like me
after the fight, when everything had cooled down
her mother felt bad abt the whole situation and apologised
her daughter was even forming self. .her mother had to beg more
i was like wow, shes so lucky

my mother won't do that
my fathers people trained me to worship my future husband and children
no wonder they didn't like my mother

is it normal for my mother to act like that

even when my father divorced her
she didn't even really fight for her marriage
she just takes life as it, does not stress her self

most divorced Nigerian women go mental after divorce. .she took the situation lightly

It's simple. She hates the life God has given her and one day she will realise it but then it'll be too late when the head is off

U expect ur mom to be aggressive? I don't get ur point plz. I feel d topic is misleading.

pimpchi:
U expect ur mom to be aggressive? I don't get ur point plz. I feel d topic is misleading.

more caring

onila:


more caring

Sorry to ask but caring in what sense? Cos the examples u painted were that of aggressive approach. I think it's her nature, she is extremely peaceful.

Some women are fast to react to emotions. Sometimes itz natural. But her own is much. I used to think my wife doesn't care abt our kids until I found out her mindset. She is so attached to me that she can hardly stay on her own for hours without me, she snuggles into my sides every now and then and would push our kids, even the last one of abt a year plus, to be on her own or with our maids when am around, so that she can have me all to her self. My wife would hardly sleep in d same bed with any of her own kids, except I was to join her there. I used to watch helplessly as they cry to their rooms almost on daily bases, after my fruitless efforts at convincing my wife to let them stay in our own room atleast once in a while. I was worried for my kids having such a mother, cos I found out my wife would not stop the habit soon. if I got angry and refuse to speak with my wife she would start running temperature before too long. If I tell u all u ll be mesmerized. If something should make me divorce her now, she will definitely become wrecked and feelingless. I had to fully come to terms with her nature and find a way to close-knit us as a family. I do not know d details, but in my opinion, yur dad didn't do well, letting yur mum go. Some women when u hurt them so much it kills their spirit so much too and d next thing they do is to beg God to take u away from their heart so that they can see u as any other person . This can affect what ever u gave to them, even kids they born for u. Itz a rare case. But itz there, even in men. Y'all become neutral in her mind. Pls go back to the distance and undo it and apologize, datz what I can tell yur dad. And for u her kids, she doesn't hate u, but am sure there is something on her mind that words can cure or affectionate action can heal. Continue to love yur mom against all odds. If yur dad loves u it means she loved yur mom. Something just happened along the way, I suppose. Pray to God for direction and take on a simple and forgiving heart. All will be well.

pimpchi:

Sorry to ask but caring in what sense? Cos the examples u painted were that of aggressive approach. I think it's her nature, she is extremely peaceful.

like make her children feel, without them she can't live

when she's correcting you, she acts like she does not are abt you or love you
one day, she told me, she hates me

I know some parents go overboard when angry
but there is something abt her, that disgusts me

nairalife2013:
Some women are fast to react to emotions. Sometimes itz natural. But her own is much. I used to think my wife doesn't care abt kids until I found out her mindset. She so attached to me that she can hardly stay on her own for hours without me, she snuggles into my sides every now and then and would push our kids, even the last one of a year to be on her own or with our maids when am around, so that she can have me all to her self. My wife would hardly sleep in d same bed with any of her own kids, except I was to join her there. I used to watch helplessly as they cry to their rooms almost on daily bases, after my fruitless efforts at convincing my wife to let them stay in our own room atleast once in a while. I was worried for my kids having such a mother, cos I found out my wife would not stop the habit soon. if I got angry and refuse to speak with my wife she would start running temperature before too long. If something should make me divorce her now, she will definitely become wrecked and feelingless henceforth. I had to fully come to terms with her nature and find a way to close-knit us as a family. I do not know d details, but in my opinion, yur dad didn't do well, letting yur mum go. Some women when u hurt them so much it kills their spirit so much too and d next thing they do is to beg God to take u away from their heart so that they can see u as any other person . This can affect what ever u gave to them, even kids they born for u. Itz a rare case. But itz there, even in men. Y'all become neutral in her mind. Pls go back to the distance and undo it and apologize, datz what I can tell yur dad. And for u her kids, she doesn't hate u, but am sure there is something on her mind that words can cure or affectionate action can heal. Continue to love yur mom against all odds. If yur dad loves u it means she loved yur mom. Something just happened along the way, I suppose. Pray to God for direction and take on a simple and forgiving heart. All will be well.

my father left because they were incompatible
she s horrible

being caring is part of our family tradition
she wasn't having that

onila:


my father left because they were incompatible
she s horrible

being caring is part of our family tradition
she wasn't having that

this is serious. Horrible? ...Am dazed. I need to sleep first.

nairalife2013:
this is serious. Horrible? ...Am dazed. I need to sleep first.

she was mean to me growing up

sorry about your predicament.my advice to you is:
Take your mum the way she is: There's nothing you can do about it really,like Maya Angelou:"if you cant change a situation you're in,change your attitude towards it".

When will you finally get over your family issues? It's time to grow up.

You don carry your problems come again. Nairaland na police station?

Mindfulness:
When will you finally get over your family issues? It's time to grow up.

with all due respect, if you don't have anything nice to say

mind ur business, Thank you

My mum like that.one day she told she I'd not my mother. and even she sponsors other people children to school to the detriment of her own single son.It has made me see women as evil creatures.I can hardly have a stable relationship cus of her

Mindfulness:
When will you finally get over your family issues? It's time to grow up.

I think you need the growing up a lot more by learning to ignore things that have absolutely nothing to do with you.

onila, pls listen to what I hv to say to u. if that woman dies today, u will feel bad for all these things u use to describe her. if she isn't d way u want, that doesn't make her less of who she is, ur mother. if u think she isn't doing a gud job, say to ur self, u will be a better mum to ur kids. stop comparing her to Jamaican neighbour or whatever. accept her for what she is and make it work. when I was younger, my mum was wat I guess u refer to as mean. I eventually saw,that's d way she shows care, but I hv decided,I won't use her method for my daughter. at d end of d day, I love my mum, she has a lot of flaws, but no one can pray for me like she does. God bless u

yvelchstores:
onila, pls listen to what I hv to say to u. if that woman dies today, u will feel bad for all these things u use to describe her. if she isn't d way u want, that doesn't make her less of who she is, ur mother. if u think she isn't doing a gud job, say to ur self, u will be a better mum to ur kids. stop comparing her to Jamaican neighbour or whatever. accept her for what she is and make it work. when I was younger, my mum was wat I guess u refer to as mean. I eventually saw,that's d way she shows care, but I hv decided,I won't use her method for my daughter. at d end of d day, I love my mum, she has a lot of flaws, but no one can pray for me like she does. God bless u

thanks

but our relationship is very unhealthy
it's like when she's shouting at me, there is so much tension
is as if I should just commit suicide
I don't know how to explain it

but I do try
now I just try and avoid talking to her so I can do things on my own
I just need space
she cant keep on with, the way I do things

Y should u tell ur mum to f*ck off? Y shd ur mum worship the ground ur dad walks on for Chrissakes? Is he a demi god? I think u need to adjust ur expectations. Some of ur expectations are not healthy and I sense ur relationship with ur mum is toxic, with help from two of u.

Now if ur mum is really as horid as u descibe, suicide is not the way to go esp since u insinuate she'd actually be indifferent. Identify the negative tendencies ur mum has n work on not replicating them. If she's cruel to u, minimise ur contact with her and as much as u can, kill her with kindness.

Don't forget to honour ur mum, the first commandment with promise n pls realign your expectations.

Cheers

I'm sorry but this is rather scary

nairalife2013:
Some women are fast to react to emotions. Sometimes itz natural. But her own is much. I used to think my wife doesn't care abt our kids until I found out her mindset. She is so attached to me that she can hardly stay on her own for hours without me, she snuggles into my sides every now and then and would push our kids, even the last one of abt a year plus, to be on her own or with our maids when am around, so that she can have me all to her self. My wife would hardly sleep in d same bed with any of her own kids, except I was to join her there. I used to watch helplessly as they cry to their rooms almost on daily bases, after my fruitless efforts at convincing my wife to let them stay in our own room atleast once in a while. I was worried for my kids having such a mother, cos I found out my wife would not stop the habit soon. if I got angry and refuse to speak with my wife she would start running temperature before too long. If I tell u all u ll be mesmerized. If something should make me divorce her now, she will definitely become wrecked and feelingless. I had to fully come to terms with her nature and find a way to close-knit us as a family. I do not know d details, but in my opinion, yur dad didn't do well, letting yur mum go. Some women when u hurt them so much it kills their spirit so much too and d next thing they do is to beg God to take u away from their heart so that they can see u as any other person . This can affect what ever u gave to them, even kids they born for u. Itz a rare case. But itz there, even in men. Y'all become neutral in her mind. Pls go back to the distance and undo it and apologize, datz what I can tell yur dad. And for u her kids, she doesn't hate u, but am sure there is something on her mind that words can cure or affectionate action can heal. Continue to love yur mom against all odds. If yur dad loves u it means she loved yur mom. Something just happened along the way, I suppose. Pray to God for direction and take on a simple and forgiving heart. All will be well.

onila:


thanks

but our relationship is very unhealthy
it's like when she's shouting at me, there is so much tension
is as if I should just commit suicide
I don't know how to explain it

but I do try
now I just try and avoid talking to her so I can do things on my own
I just need space
she cant keep on with, the way I do things

she is being a Nigerian mum. ask people on this forum, ur mum is even kind. just stop seeing it like that. that's how she knows how to train her child just like millions like her. I am not justifying her. my mum use to shout, beat, pound, grind...lol. as an adult now, I am kind of grateful for some of those discipline...just be grateful to God u hv a mother.

Gloriagee:
I'm sorry but this is rather scary

k.thx

nairalife2013:
k.thx

if what you said is true,then your wife is sick and needs treatment for the sake of those poor kids because she might hurt them someday if she feels they are sharing your attention with her.

chinma414:
if what you said is true,then your wife is sick and needs treatment for the sake of those poor kids because she might hurt them someday if she feels they are sharing your attention with her.

hahaha, she is not sick, doesn't need no treatment...she loves them as much as she love me. Itz a bond tactics she uses to wrap the family... she believes the mother/child affection is natural and a periodic reprimand or rejection cannot destroy that. I have observed their relationship indirectly without appearing curious. It's affectionate, just that she craves the kids reckon with our unbreakable love and respect for each other and follow suit or learn something from there...she is a complete woman, the last female that would hate her kids, I found out. She is very sound. Dont go there, if u dont understand pls. Thx dear,for yur observation and counsel.

now we know why onilas life is messed up

eddyjibs:
now we know why onilas life is messed up

Don't be mean.Everyone's got issues;because she can put her issues on here doesn't make you better than her.

DukeNija:


I think you need the growing up a lot more by learning to ignore things that have absolutely nothing to do with you.

Has my comment anything to do with you?

onila:


with all due respect, if you don't have anything nice to say

mind ur business, Thank you

This is was the nicest and wisest thing I could have said to you who has been spamming this forum with her family issues.
It would do you a lot of good if you finally got over it. If NL doesn't help, find a doctor. No insult, it's too serious.

Mindfulness:


This is was the nicest and wisest thing I could have said to you who has been spamming this forum with her family issues.
It would do you a lot of good if you finally got over it. If NL doesn't help, find a doctor. No insult, it's too serious.

yo, this is family section. .I can complain as much as I want
if it bothers you, then ignore my threads

thank you

amebo efulefu

Mindfulness:


This is was the nicest and wisest thing I could have said to you who has been spamming this forum with her family issues.
It would do you a lot of good if you finally got over it. If NL doesn't help, find a doctor. No insult, it's too serious.

yo, this is family section. .I can complain as much as I want
if it bothers you, then ignore my threads

thank you

amebo efulefu

onila:


yo, this is family section. .I can complain as much as I want
if it bothers you, then ignore my threads

thank you

amebo efulefu

You can continue being miserable 'bout things you can't change, not my problem.

Mindfulness:


You can continue being miserable 'bout things you can't change, not my problem.

thanks for ur opinion

but I reject that

now follow the arrow >>>>