We all get angry sometimes, but if you’re prone to rage bursts that rival The Hulk, it can really damage your relationships and even ruin your career. Here are some tips for keeping your cool when your temper feels like a short fuse burning.
Stop Yourself Before You React
Before you do anything else, try to hit the brakes as fast as you can. While it may seem obvious, taking a moment to yourself before you react is one of the most effective ways to keep that temper under control. What can differ, however, is what you do after you hit the brakes. There’s no silver bullet that works for everyone, but you can start with some of the classics:
Count to ten: In your head or out loud, so you can cool down and see where you’re at afterward.
Think about the situation: Ask yourself a question to help you assess the situation. Is it something you can control? Did you misunderstand the thing that’s fueling your fire? Know where you’re going before you move forward.
Take a time out: Excuse yourself and step away from the situation. You’re a pot of boiling water, so remove yourself from the heat source before you boil over.
Take a couple of deep breaths: Slow your heart rate and send oxygen to your brain. Psychologist Carlos Coto at Pick the Brain suggests the 4x4 breathing technique where you breath in for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds, and exhale the breath slowly for four seconds. Repeat until you feel calm enough to react.
If it feels like your patience is always on its last thread, a simple trick you can do is to keep something in your pocket to mess with. It can be a pebble, a coin, a pen, whatever you like as long as it’s a physical object. Think of it as your talisman and reach for it when your impatience starts to peak. Mary Jane Ryan, author of Power of Patience, explains how this can kill your temper’s momentum:
...when you start to feel irritated, move it from one pocket to the other. This will interrupt the impatience cycle and give you a chance to regroup.
You can fiddle with it when your anger starts to build just as if you were nervous. Then when things get to be too much, do the pocket switcharoo. Your mind will be forced to switch gears and focus on the action of handling the object, making you more self-aware, and giving you just long enough time to let your better thinking kick in and pull you back from the ledge. It might sound a little silly at first—like it’s a totem from the movie Inception—but it can be very effective if you give it an honest chance. The key to stopping your temper is derailing your mind, as if you’re cutting a burning fuse before it gets to the bomb.
Picture Yourself Getting Angry and See How It Would Look
Looking at situations in the third person can be useful for problem solving, but it can also help you shift your perspective on situations when you’ve lost sight of things. When your temper rises, tunnel vision narrows your thoughts, making it seem like getting angry is the only course of action.
Make Better Decisions by Thinking of Yourself in the Third Person
We often struggle between taking care of ourselves and making other people happy. Psychology Today…
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Caroline Smith at Mind Tools suggests you imagine what you look when you’re angry to snap yourself out of it before it happens:
If you imagine how you look and behave while you’re angry, it gives you some perspective on the situation. For instance, if you’re about to shout at your co-worker, imagine how you would look. Is your face red? Are you waving your arms around? Would you want to work with someone like that? Probably not.
You may care about what’s frustrating you, but you probably care about what you look like too. Especially if you happen to be in a professional environment. It may seem counter-intuitive to think about being angry, but it will make you feel a little foolish and stop you from doing something you’ll regret.
https://yakshub..com.ng/2016/08/how-to-manage-your-anger-effectively.html?m=1

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one thing to discover and which can help in dealing with anger is not to talk when angry.

I'm very protective of my feelings
The thing that works for me is I REALLY DON'T CARE.
I got a lot of complaints from people but still I don't care.
Everyone know me as very cool and patient.

Lalasticlala mynd44