I am not new to Nairaland but had to create this new account just because of this.

I am a yoruba guy who has a 6 year old child with a young briliant lady from South east. My only crime that has prevent me from marrying the woman i love is because i am a yoruba man. her mum will always echo "over her dead body". i tried all i could with families and friends, hell no.
Fine, after all these years , i choose to move on. Unfortunately for me again, next girlfriend is also from south-east. she is quite alright and speaks yoruba fluently unlike the first one( both born and bred in lagos).
Now the problem i have with the current girl is this ;
most of the times i check her facebook comments , 90% of them are hate filled comments towards any other tribe in Nigeria. she supports the Biafra movements( which i dont have problem with) . But how can you have a yoruba boyfriend, born and bred in lagos, speak yoruba fluently
then go online to spill hate filled messages against all other tribes (yoruba included) ? it just dosnt add up.Maybe she thinks i dont see or check them even though we dont live in the same country. This really worries me. Then trend at which our parents and our society have failed we youths is heartbreaking.How do i tell my 6 year old (half yoruba half igbo ) lovely daughter that i was unable to marry her mother because of tribal differeces?Which way now because am so confused?

Dear OP, do you know why her mother is against your alliance with her daughter? I think there's more to it. Meanwhile, what's her father reaction so far?

waiting for the elders to come

madridguy:
Dear OP, do you know why her mother is against your alliance with her daughter? I think there's more to it. Meanwhile, what's her father reaction so far?

I dont know any other reason other than what she said to my face that her daughter must marry an igbo man .And her father is from the Niger delta . He gave approval the first time we met and we even had a drink together. He is a very nice man ! But both parents are seperated.

THERE ARE MILLIONS OF YORUBA GIRLS OUT THERE, WHY DON'T YOU ENGAGE ONE. WITH DUE RESPECT TO OTHERS THAT MARRIED FROM OTHER TRIBES, I SIMPLY DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA FOR SOME REASONS;

1. YOU LOSE YOUR IDENTITY AS A YORUBA MAN, because YOUR WIFE WILL ONLY TEACH YOUR CHILDREN HER OWN LANGUAGE. EVEN IN THE HOUSE, ENGLISH WILL BE YOUR FAMILY OFFICIAL LANGUAGE.

2. ANYTIME YOUR WIFE HAS A CEREMONY FROM HER FAMILY; WEDDINGS, BURIAL E.TC. THINK OF THE DISTANCE; TRANSPORT WISE AND THE TIME OF YOUR BUSINESS THAT IT WILL TAKE. I RECENTLY WENT WITH A FRIEND OF MINE TO BENIN FOR HER WIFE SOCIAL FUNCTIONS, JUST 4 HOURS FROM LAGOS AND SPENT OVER N15,000 ON FUELING MY CAR, N64,000 FOR HOTEL ACCOMMODATION, WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF HE MARRIED A YORUBA LADY.

3. HER TRADITION WILL BE TOTALLY STRANGE TO WHAT YOU HAVE GROWN UP TO KNOW, HENCE, YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A STRANGER ANYTIME YOU ARE IN THE MIST OF YOUR INLAWS.

THIS IS MY OPINION THOUGH, AND I THINK I AM ENTITLED TO IT.

Had been her parent are together I think the case might be easy. I would suggest you persuade the mother of your daughter to beg her mother till she shift her ground, if possible meet with some of her relatives who can calm her down. My opinion though.

Dbanjo:


I dont know any other reason other than what she said to my face that her daughter must marry an igbo man .And her father is from the Niger delta . He gave approval the first time we met and we even had a drink together. He is a very nice man ! But both parents are seperated.

Na wa for some comments o! Hian! Anyway, my brother, there are always challenges when humans are about to take major decisions that shape their lives. Yours is not different.

First, don't let the two incidents warp or make you have biases against any ethnic group. The new generation must move beyond the prejudices of the past that haven't helped us.

I think most of the underground job would be done by your proposed wife. She needs to talk to her mother and be able to douse her fears, many of which I know will be unfounded. She shouldn't be rude about it.

If her mum really loves her and wants her happiness, she will eventually agree. Then she can also approach those people her mum respect and listen to.

At the end of the day, its a choice between two adults who would eventually live with the consequences of their actions or inactions.

@OP am in d same shoe with u,my baby mama is a yoruba while am frm south-south Delta Ibo to be precise.her mother made sure she ruined our relationshp.right now,i dnt knw where they are with my son,they changed contacts.so,OP move on with ur life