Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to does it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

egopersonified:
The oracle has spoken.

herzern:
Op.......


Is this a threat??.....

There are thousands millions of people qoinq throuqh somethinq far worse to yours and they never saw suicide as an option....



OP....conceeninq yhur friends that are independent already.......just think about it......100 years to this time....where will they be.....where will yhu be??......

bomolu:
A pure water factory in Surulere needs the services of experienced drivers to supply and sell their products to customers. Salary very attractive.
Interested persons should reside at Surulere or its environs.
Should posses an original Drivers license.
Experienced drivers from other water factories have added advantage. Please Call 08180699323 for more details or visit 16 Badaru Street, off Adegoke, Surulere. Lagos.

austinosita:
Seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto you!
Purge yourself from the love of the things of this world and set your heart in making heaven.
When things starts getting better, it'll mean nothing to you because your heart is no more in this world.......its yearning and waiting for the last day, to join the heavenly saints in singing alleluia to our God!

Smile Jesus loves you

nokiaba3:
does this make sense to you

TrapHedges:

Bro! Dork, you just made total sense fam

Wehrey Stifler... ....

Yhur acc dey ban??.....

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

Samtobh:

Send me a PM. I'm willing to assist.

herzern:


Wehrey Stifler... ....

Yhur acc dey ban??.....

egopersonified:
We really need to learn to see counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc in this country. Talking things over with people has a way of relieving burdens and probably providing solutions. @Lotil, please I sent you a pm

Samtobh:
it is well with you OP.

I'm a First class Graduate since 2012, sleeping on a bed made from cartoon box in one of the office I got to work with June this year.Denied more than 5 scholarships alone this year and still hoping for better days. Suicide ain't an option bro, I graduated tops of my class and still yet, it ain't what I thought I'll be.keep up the hope, send me a PM! I'm gonna call you.

#Peace

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to does it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

Seun:
His major problem is depression. All the other things are just symptoms. His life is not as bad as he feels. If it was that bad he would be single.

Samtobh:
it is well with you OP.

I'm a First class Graduate since 2012, sleeping on a bed made from cartoon box in one of the office I got to work with June this year.Denied more than 5 scholarships alone this year and still hoping for better days. Suicide ain't an option bro, I graduated tops of my class and still yet, it ain't what I thought I'll be.keep up the hope, send me a PM! I'm gonna call you.

#Peace

calabaman:
What a thread!!!!!

Who said you cant get a good job even though you may have graduated with a 2:2 ?

Truth is most fresh graduates think they can graduate and immediately get a job with Mobil, Shell and other big organizations without any job experience. How possible is it at this day and age?... Who wants a hire a person who wouldn't add any value to their organisation during this trying time?

I would advise those lamenting to start small, pick up that "small job" in quote, develop yourself by reading, make yourself indispensable to your organization so that if you hint at resigning your employment terms would be visited.

DEVELOP YOURSELF!!!!

LEARN A SKILL!!!!!!! MC Dorsey is training people to be GSM/ Computer hardware technician/ Decoder repairers..

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!

P.s: am a 2:2 graduate and also a 1st son working in the IT dept of a database firm with my poor result in quote.

add me for more advise: 7981b613

reminiscing:
Last week,on Wednesday I almost committed suicide.Though I have been depressed for weeks now and unfortunately I woke up in the early hours of Thursday morning around past 1am and I was tempted to use a knife on myself but I knew the voice in my head wasn't the voice of God,it was the Devil.I am in 400l and I probably would graduate with a 2,1 but I am scared if failing ,I am scared of what the future holds for me........

reminiscing:
Last week,on Wednesday I almost committed suicide.Though I have been depressed for weeks now and unfortunately I woke up in the early hours of Thursday morning around past 1am and I was tempted to use a knife on myself but I knew the voice in my head wasn't the voice of God,it was the Devil.I am in 400l and I probably would graduate with a 2,1 but I am scared if failing ,I am scared of what the future holds for me........