Blow trees,keep working hard..it gets better..

suicide - a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Seun:
His major problem is depression. All the other things are just symptoms. His life is not as bad as he feels. If it was that bad he would be single.

Ironically, this is a solid fact.

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to does it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

only few would understand brah.

At the first bolded. Am doing that right now. Writing Such good poetry on depression and how humanity is a curse. Weeks ago i started a series write up on the darkness that calls to me and its interruption by light. The funny thing is am dropping hints to everyone but no one understands.

We all had dreams. But then life could be a nightmare. They say life is too short to kill yourself but they don't know life is also too long waking up everyday to the bare facts of your failures and weaknesses.

But don't be suicidal, fight it, channel the pain and anger to something and be succesful and make someone smile. It would make you feel good.

Am an empath with weltschmerz,
sometimes i carry the pain of the world on my shoulders.

Me, I graduated with 2,1 in chemical engineering and have been roaming the streets for 2yrs now.

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to does it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

I will advise you download this hymn "My hope is built on nothing less" just Google it download and enjoy....it lightens the soul and makes your faith solid in Christ

I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence is the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied for Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

Send me a PM. I'm willing to assist.

AnalyticEngine:
Me, I graduated with 2,1 in chemical engineering and have been roaming the streets for 2yrs now. I have bought rope already, waiting for my frustration to reach its threshold. Alternatively, I can also build a simple equipment that can saturate my 64 cubic metres room with lethal concentration of carbon monoxide in a few hours. I've gat no time to waste on joblessness. I cannot continue to feed on people's hardwork. It aint my principle.

Send a mail to thepaceholdings@gmail.com describing yourself and what you can do.A Good CV would do too as an attachment.

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence is the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

Hey don't end your life look at this picture it inspires a lot

OP, sorry for your depression. But, suicide is not an option. Stop looking for jobs _ create them. The economy has shifted a long time ago. You have a good certificate? Well, guess what? Millions of Nigerians do, too. So, do not commit suicide or hold Seun by the neck.......... Direct your thoughts towards creativity. Read a lot.... A few suggestions:
Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki
Law of Success by Napoleon Hill
The Holy Bible


May God be with you.. AMEN

elvision1:



only few would understand brah.

At the first bolded. Am doing that right now. Writing Such good poetry on depression and how humanity is a curse. Weeks ago i started a series write up on the darkness that calls to me and its interruption by light. The funny thing is am dropping hints to everyone but no one understands.

We all had dreams. But then life could be a nightmare. They say life is too short to kill yourself but they don't know life is also too long waking up everyday to the bare facts of your failures and weaknesses.

But don't be suicidal, fight it, channel the pain and anger to something and be succesful and make someone smile. It would make you feel good.

Am an empath with weltschmerz,
sometimes i carry the pain of the world on my shoulders.

The problem with most of us is that we have our breakthrough in hand but busy looking for it in jand.
You're writing a series right? Don't you know that can yield you upto $500 a month when you publish it on Amazon for free? If you don't know how to go about it and you really have some books written by you (whether sorrowful, poems or anything) pm me let me walk you through.

elvision1:



only few would understand brah.

At the first bolded. Am doing that right now. Writing Such good poetry on depression and how humanity is a curse. Weeks ago i started a series write up on the darkness that calls to me and its interruption by light. The funny thing is am dropping hints to everyone but no one understands.

We all had dreams. But then life could be a nightmare. They say life is too short to kill yourself but they don't know life is also too long waking up everyday to the bare facts of your failures and weaknesses.

But don't be suicidal, fight it, channel the pain and anger to something and be succesful and make someone smile. It would make you feel good.

Am an empath with weltschmerz,
sometimes i carry the pain of the world on my shoulders.

This is deep! I had to google weltschmerz.........damn, kinda true, but I don't want to have that mentality! Yes, we are in a cruel world, but even at that, there are some that are successful.........they struggled through all the weariness and cruelty of the world........they never allowed it weaken them.

#Nomatterwhattheworldsays
#Neversaynever
#keeponkeepingon


It is not over, until it is over(death)

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence is the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

Wow! You just motivated someone with the bolded. Though sometimes we may be down, but never see suicide as an option, I mean NEVER!!!
Is it not Donald Trump that says... "Never Ever Ever Give Up".
I also use this WyClef line whenever something wanna pull me down... "Survival of the fittest, only the STRONG can survive"...

I'm strong, and I must survive, so are you my intelligent sister.

Nairastake:


The problem with most of us is that we have our breakthrough in hand but busy looking for it in jand.
You're writing a series right? Don't you know that can yield you upto $500 a month when you publish it on Amazon for free? If you don't know how to go about it and you really have some books written by you (whether sorrowful, poems or anything) pm me let me walk you through.

the series is not a book or anything, just how i feel,the struggles and all written in poetic art form, posted on my FB wall.

One more suggestions for anyone feeling suicidal... Check out this post
https://www.nairaland.com/3334289/tired-life-want-end-it/1#49140263

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence is the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

I wish u could see my eyes now.......they are filled with tears. You are not a failure! They'll all be proud of you someday in Jesus name.....Amen! I don't have a job to give to you, but we can be friends!

austinosita:


This is deep! I had to google weltschmerz.........damn, kinda true, but I don't want to have that mentality! Yes, we are in a cruel world, but even at that, there are some that are successful.........they struggled through all the weariness and cruelty of the world........they never allowed it weaken them.

#Nomatterwhattheworldsays
#Neversaynever
#keeponkeepingon


It is not over, until it is over(death)

the pain i feel is knowing i was given the platform but i could make nothing out of it, ever felt cursed or something? Yea that's the feeling.


if it was my struggle only i might try but then, even the pain i feel sometimes is mine combined with the world.

I feel bad everyday knowing there is an hardworking mother getting mugged somewhere of her hardearned money,

i feel bad that there are graduates who suffered through school and walk the streets tattered with nothing to show for it,

i feel bad for that mother with two babies strapped to her back and hawking vegetables on her head,

i cry for that one armed man who smiles everyday oblivious of his deformity and wondering how he gets through.

I cry for that innocent 2yrs old malnourished child who is abadoned in the middle of war,why does God let him/her suffer?

I weep knowing that the world couln't have been and would never be a better place.

Hmmmmmmmm!! #Sighs

Wow! Very touching but OP, Your writing skills is a very good source of income for you!!!

elvision1:


the pain i feel is knowing i was given the platform but i could make nothing out of it, ever felt cursed or something? Yea that's the feeling.


if it was my struggle only i might try but then, even the pain i feel sometimes is mine combined with the world.

I feel bad everyday knowing there is an hardworking mother getting mugged somewhere of her hardearned money,

i feel bad that there are graduates who suffered through school and walk the streets tattered with nothing to show for it,

i feel bad for that mother with two babies strapped to her back and hawking vegetables on her head,

i cry for that one armed man who smiles everyday oblivious of his deformity and wondering how he gets through.

I cry for that innocent 2yrs old malnourished child who is abadoned in the middle of war,why does God let him/her suffer?

I weep knowing that the world couln't have been and would never be a better place.

You are a deep being(don't know the actual word)
I understand how you feel, but you are not God! You can never be God. God is God and he's perfect! You can't question your maker. He's the Potter, you are the pot!

He created humans, he saw their wicked hearts, he sent flood to destroy them and he made a sign(rainbow) never to destroy again, till he comes to judge!

No amount of pain you feel, can change the cruelty of this world! Just be a good person, do good, help people, don't give up on yourself! You are not Cursed! Maybe it's not what God really wants you to do. Try other things....... Life is a risk, it's about trial and error......till you get it. God created everyone for a purpose.......find your purpose!

The fact that you failed in some aspect does not mean you are a complete failure. Omotunde of Wazobia read law. She tried everything in law but she was never successful......then she decided to try broadcasting. Today she's a popular OAP! Alot of instances like this!


#dontevergiveuponyourself
#neversaynever

It is not over, until it is over(death)


NB: A lot of Nigerians....mostly graduates between the ages of 28 to 38/40 are jobless, not gainfully employed and DEPRESSED!!

I wish there could be a community here in Nigeria for depressed people like it exists in the US. Like a counselling group where people share their own experiences and are counselled and their problems half solved. Those without jobs should be given something to do to earn a living.

Some of you well to do nairalanders could actually take this up. Start as non profit organization and who knows, Govt could support you later on, if you've made great impact!


#foodforthought......for the olowos on Nairaland

Smile everyone Jesus loves you

Reading the comments here I really feel perplexed. Like The forum owner said the op (and others) are really depressed.
I feel for you all, having been in your shoes.
I killed myself! That was (or rather, that is) the solution I applied.
I wouldn't say suicide is not an option but I wouldn't recommend it, that is not saying I'd speak against it.
How did I kill myself? I just accepted that things are the way the are and there's nothing to change the past up till now. I have lost money and job opportunities because I was pursuing what I wanted and not what fell on my laps. Best graduating student in my set, four years + nothing to show for it.
So I just sat down recently and decided to die.
By that I'm trying to start all over again; being reborn.
It'snot easy. Yea, there are times it just feels like there's nothing special in this life. Even those who are close to me and have made it, I still see the hell they had/have to pass through. Imagine someone collecting 150k per month feeling more depressed than me!
I'll advise that y'all give life another shot, don't be ashamed to start all over, reprioritize your life, be ready to lose something (like not getting married or having children). Think about you now and probably your parents and how you can just make the rest of your life in this world a memorable one.

austinosita:


You are a deep being(don't know the actual word)
I understand how you feel, but you are not God! You can never be God. God is God and he's perfect! You can't question your maker. He's the Potter, you are the pot!

He created humans, he saw their wicked hearts, he sent flood to destroy them and he made a sign(rainbow) never to destroy again, till he comes to judge!

No amount of pain you feel, can change the cruelty of this world! Just be a good person, do good, help people, don't give up on yourself! You are not Cursed! Maybe it's not what God really wants you to do. Try other things....... Life is a risk, it's about trial and error......till you get it. God created everyone for a purpose.......find your purpose!

The fact that you failed in some aspect does not mean you are a complete failure. Omotunde of Wazobia read law. She tried everything in law but she was never successful......then she decided to try broadcasting. Today she's a popular OAP! Alot of instances like this!


#dontevergiveuponyourself
#neversaynever

It is not over, until it is over(death)


NB: A lot of Nigerians....mostly graduates between the ages of 28 to 38/40 are jobless, not gainfully employed and DEPRESSED!!

I wish there could be a community here in Nigeria for depressed people like it exists in the US. Like a counselling group where people share their own experiences and are counselled and their problems half solved. Those without jobs should be given something to do to earn a living.

Some of you well to do nairalanders could actually take this up. Start as non profit organization and who knows, Govt could support you later on, if you've made great impact!


#foodforthought......for the olowos on Nairaland

Smile everyone Jesus loves you

I'm passing through the same situation Lotil is passing through but not to that extent of her case and am not ready to kill myself, cos i know God have plan for me. This is the best comment so far, I love it.

Lol.

This is such a serious post, I'm sorry to post 'lol'but I can't help but smile.. At least the OP still has 5k in his account and a girlfriend. I've had less than 1k in my account as long as I can remember.. It got to #442 recently after bank charges sef but I'm still smiling. I'm also a graduate and the first born.. (P.S-if you are reading this and you're still in school, Just try ehn.. Anything lower than 2.1 is no be am oo!) ..

Anyways my point is if you can help me with that 5k before you kill yaself.. It will help me get to places for interview cos I cannot give up. I have my younger ones looking up to me, I have my parents that have struggled to get me through school and they are waiting to be proud of their first son, I have those who always tried pulling me down to prove wrong, I have my future kids to nurture and make proud and I have myself.. I deserve better. One Mumu depression now want to make me kill myself? I won't allow it. I'm not that selfish.
I had almost succumbed to it at one point but then I visited a cemetery and looked carefully.. There was no movement, I listened but no sounds too. Not even the sounds of one's hopes getting smashed when you get the "I'm sorry but your application was not successful " emails, not the shouts of despair "God Why me" when I see how far others have moved on with their lives and I'm even worse than before or the sound that comes from air expelled when you are hit hard in the solar plexus by the fact that your younger ones are starting to get ahead of you in life.

Just no sound.

Then I realized I didn't want to go there. I realized that once there is life, there is hope. I mouthed a big fv** you to the stillness of the cemetery and hightailed out of there as fast as I could. I decided to go on living and keep trying knowing now that all going through would eventually add up to make my success story more interesting.
So bros.. If you really wan kill yaself.. Help a brother that refuses to give up ehn. Send that 5k to my account make I use an transport go my interview and subsequent ones ehn?

FBN. 3053397778. Thank you bros.

Meanwhile I'm a graduate of animal science. Any other person that aff interview for me..pls epp. Oh and yeah it was a 2.2.

Wow! I'm awed by what I've read.
In this same Nigeria?!
This motivates me to work harder so I'll be able to employ people and help them have a reason to live.
Because unemployment is a killer to both morale and sometimes, even to the will to live.

Though I concur with Seun, the OP's symptoms are more of depression than anything else, and not just being jobless....there are millionaires and billionaires that still kill themselves from depression, so the OP should seek help from a hospital, and not just think its lack of a job that is the problem.
But at the same time, some cases of depression can be triggered or worsened by factors such as unemployment, and relieving it can help reduce or prevent further episodes of depression, so anyone that can help provide employment to him and the others on this thread should pls do so.
You can help save a life.

You know we all are seeking this paper to actually buy happiness. What we fail to realise is we already have it but our minds have narrowed it down to only money.

You eat, you wear clothes, you have shelter - these are the basic things that keep people with worse scenarios wait for tomorrow rather than die today. Don't live in the past brother, turn the could to can, turn the pain into motivation, seek a new beginning. There are plenty of Orisagunas out there God will still lift, don't think His mercies won't reach you.

When I read this I felt this is just poetry, till I read serious comments. Poetry seems to be one of your many suits, use it, become instagram am celeb, become nairaland celeb at least the celebration will lift off the depression before the money starts rolling in.

Happiness is appreciating the present while forging for the future, using the past as motivation.

Up until the birth of nairaland, the seun you called perhaps didn't think he'll be making so much money now. In other news, any way na way, any work na work as long as its legal and doesn't compromise your values.

See you on forbes list OP.

The suicidal tendencies are symptoms of depression. Work on that and your life will be back to normal!

Seek help from your family or friends, they love you and will surely help you become better.

Seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto you!
Purge yourself from the love of the things of this world and set your heart in making heaven.
When things starts getting better, it'll mean nothing to you because your heart is no more in this world.......its yearning and waiting for the last day, to join the heavenly saints in singing alleluia to our God!

Smile Jesus loves you

Waspy:
Seun, he is notifying you ooo

DY baba happy to see u here.

@yusufadebayo02,

"As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc".

If you did the above then your problem started farther than you are stating here. Seun might not be able to render the sort of help you need.

I think you have some talent but reluctant to put it to good use. You are good in embroidery, stop reminiscing and thinking about your mates who 'left you behind' and do something about that.

I think a little bit of pride is part of your problem. You feel frustrated and lack motivation to carry on because you are more preoccupied by other people's successes with resultant envy and jealousy. You'll be asking yourself how you'd go back sewing clothes when your mates are 'hammering' and living 'large'.

Get off your backside and do something about yourself buddie. Life can sometimes be like soldiers on a parade ground, at the shout of 'about-turn', the last person who was previously obscure will be the first and lead the line.

While you have more experience in drafting suicide notes, I actually tried killing myself with a knife at the age of six but lacked the courage. I cringe when I think about that. I've passed through a lot but every experience made me stronger and wiser.

Quit drugs n alcohol, clean up yourself and get your sewing kits while you are waiting for that dream job. You'll give testimony here.

You don't know God? How do you expect to come out of this a life? Why do you want the devil to use you na?
Please pick up the good book and start reading ASAP.