Please help me make sense out of my life because I am so confused. I was s*xually assaulted by a close friend. He held me down and practically performed s*xual acts on me. I had to go into hiding away from him because I was so ashamed. Never even knew I was assaulted until I went online and researched the signs. I bolstered courage to confront him in front of close friends and he denied everything. He was even laughing while denying everything. And that left me wondering if indeed it happened... I decided not to pursue it. We returned to being friends and I tried to block out that memory. I just discovered that all my friends think I am a liar. That I made up everything just to spite my close friend. And they want nothing to do with me. Even he that assaulted me told me recently that it took the grace of God for him to forgive me. He told me that since Jesus has forgiven him, that means he did not do it. That it was the devil using him and he won’t accept that he did it. Yet he was concerned that no one should hear about it. He even called me sometimes to help quell the rumours when it was spreading. But I am the victim here! Should I not be the one doing the forgiving? I wrote it down in my diary exactly as it happened and I swear I am not lying. Yes I have told lies in the past but I cant hurt a friend with such weighty allegations. I have known him for over 4 years. How can I deal with the loss of friends after 5 years in school? Where do I start from? Why is everyone seeing me as the accused instead of the victim? Help me make sense of this because I am beginning to doubt my sanity.

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sad

Made up story and wasn't even formatted correctly.
Needs paragraphs.