Hello everyone, I have a toxic bullying adult child that all he does is to curse and threaten ,he is 37 years old and still lives with me and my husband, he has gone in and out of schools and does not have a form of tertiary education despite the fact that the father and I have, he hit his father about 2 different times before while living with us and still lives with us, he does not have any job, and does not want to get one, all he does is sells hemp and smoke too, My 2 other children are doing very well of very good professions and highly responsible, I wont say I've been an enabler,We raised his other siblings I think he just wants to be wayward and be influenced badly.I am in my sixties and just want to live the rest of my life in peace , the father has decided to leave him without any inheritance , I have noticed all he does is harass, threaten and beat helpless people like the aged parents and younger children ,I can go on and on but this gives you an idea of what i have in my hands, good advice is highly appreciated

julianadada:
Hello everyone, I have a toxic bullying adult child that all he does is to curse and threaten ,he is 37 years old and still lives with me and my husband, he has gone in and out of schools and does not have a form of tertiary education despite the fact that the father and I have, he hit his father about 2 different times before while living with us and still lives with us, he does not have any job, and does not want to get one, all he does is sells hemp and smoke too, My 2 other children are doing very well of very good professions and highly responsible, I wont say I've been an enabler,We raised his other siblings I think he just wants to be wayward and be influenced badly.I am in my sixties and just want to live the rest of my life in peace , the father has decided to leave him without any inheritance , I have noticed all he does is harass, threaten and beat helpless people like the aged parents and younger children ,I can go on and on but this gives you an idea of what i have in my hands, good advice is highly appreciated

I am sorry to hear this from you. This must be painful and traumatic at the same time.

First, it is by grace we succeed in bringing out the best from our children irrespective of the investment we have poured into them. Our duty is to train them in every way possible for them to know God, acquire skills and education necessary for their proper adjustment to their society. Even after all these, the Free Will of every child is at work either to adopt the parents training or not.

So, what could be the problem?
The problem could be
1. Psychological
Find an experienced and respected counselor to help
2. Spiritual
Your son may need deliverance from malevolent spirits (demons) working over his life for distraction. Please seek out experienced deliverance ministers. Please be careful, there are also fake "men of God" around and there are also some who are genuine but with low spiritual authority.

When he is in his relaxed moods, ask him about his dreams when he sleeps. Abnormal dreams may indicate some deep spiritual issues.

On this, prayerfully seek and you will find!

Now, at his age, as parents you may have to forcefully carve out an independent life for him ( pls only if you have sought first for help).

Rent an apartment, stock it with food and give him some small allowance. You can get him a job even if you will indirectly pay the salary through his employer ( this can easily be arranged).

You have taken the first step of not keeping it to yourelself, seek for help BUT please, do not do any seemingly fetish things as a meansbof solving the problem. You will only compound it.

I hope you are Born Again? There may be some intervention you as a parent can do at a spiritual level.

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala , RoyalRoy

This should go to FP for more matured people to help this hurting family!

I think the post is more appropriate under family rather than crime.

@shadeyinka Thank you for this kind advice , He has been taken to good ministers of God for deliverance while growing up, We got a job for him too but he complained it was too stressful, we decided to just leave him and pray for God to soften him, but I think his irresponsible behavior is taking a toll on everyone, and I just don't want to cope with it again,

julianadada:
@shadeyinka Thank you for this kind advice , He has been taken to good ministers of God for deliverance while growing up, We got a job for him too but he complained it was too stressful, we decided to just leave him and pray for God to soften him, but I think his irresponsible behavior is taking a toll on everyone, and I just don't want to cope with it again,

I cannot imagine the kind of stress he is putting you through but I guess you may still have to take him for further deliverance.

Sometimes, deliverance is either not complete or not deep enough. Did he manifest when he was prayed for? If he did not, just for the sake of being sure, still look for an experienced deliverance minister.

Deliverance sometimes happens without any form of manifestations but then one expects a change from affliction. Dreams also show that some form of deliverance has taken place.

Sometimes deliverance is done in several sessions. Its like taking medication for some ailment. Sometimes just one or two shots of injection does not completely clear an infection.

I asked are you born again because there are some things you can do as a parent who believes.

I pray for you that this pain will diffuse and disappear from your life in Jesus name.

I'm so sorry to hear that Madam, since your son hits his dad, why don't you report him 2 a police station, let him right down he will never hit any of you or bully you,if he does,let him be thrown in2 a cell.
Secondly, pls rent a self contain for him and pay his rent for 1 year, by doing that he is no more in your hair, let him look for a job weda he likes it or not, to continue paying his rent and feeding him..Never give him money, if you do even if it's once, he will know u will keep giving him and he will never grow up.Let him be on is on. Don't think you are being 2 harsh on him,You are helping him.