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#onbecoming

my own is simple, don't hit me in the name of being a woman. i will so beat you. end of a short tale

nor be only man dey abuse woman

lohresloco:
my own is simple, don't hit me in the name of being a woman. i will so beat you. end of a short tale

I am loving these argument.....interesting

Domestic violence is mostly a result of unbridled patriarchy than anything else.

Lilac91:
I hope my bastard in law sees dis thread as he is a nairalander...to me he is a bastard for daring to lay hands on my sister

What's his name on NL?

Mindfulness:




We do not have much control over who we feel attracted to and who not. It's the biological imperative. The chemistry is there or it is not.

Yeah right, buh haven't u seen or heard of forced chemistry One borne out of lust and love of frivolities. I think that's what the guy u quoted is trying to explain.

There are two things that could be life threatening to a woman in marriage, a philandering man and a wife beater, even though the bible said till death do you part,it didn't mean till he causes your death, that is where people get it wrong.And women need to realize that using the kids as an excuse to stay will only be to the detriments of the kids as it affects the psychology of the child and might even follow them to adult hood that is if she survives the violence.

1bkaye:

Lmao no words
Well because they're desirable traits? And desirable traits strongly influence romantic attraction, that's life lol. I think that if everybody actually had the choice, most would choose the most successful in any area as a partner, it just so happens that women place a high value on earning potential, wealth etc but just as much as men place high value on beauty.

Wealth is not a trait, and money can only keep one attracted for a while. Money is like a toy: the more you play with it, the more you get bored of playing with it.

Why do you think the wives of some very wealthy men cheat on their husbands with broke guys?
Maybe the broke guy is a Spartacus in bed, and maybe the woman had not factored in sexual compatibility before getting married to her rich hubby.

I'm not saying money should take the backseat because it is in fact pivotal. All I'm saying is it shouldn't be a prime determinant when spouse-hunting. So long as the guy has enough to cater for the basic amenities, a woman should not love him less because he can't afford a Porsche.

...

And as for men placing high valuation on beauty, whence did you come about that? Do you mean before they get into a boy-girl relationship or into marriage?

As for me and the guys in my social orbit, beauty is important, but is not as important as some other qualities.

For example, I'd rather marry a reader of average beauty than marry a non-reader who's a deadringer for Marilyn Monroe.

Lmao how was this conclusion drawn?

I'm an avid observer of the world around me. I drew inference from what I've seen and heard.

DarkRebel101:


This couldn't be more true. Unfortunately, attempts to coax women into choosing their life partners based on qualities that transcend the superficial is almost like preaching to the proverbial choir.

Females are easily wheedled by what appeals to their visual. A lady would most likely chuck out her long-time broke Bf and opt for a Ramsey-Noah-looking fellow with fleets of flashy sport cars even though they aren't really into him nor him into them.

Yet they wonder why their marriages to these Lotharios turn out to be a classic Jerry-Maguire-without-the-happy-ending.







I'm not too keen on brands and labels myself. I'm curious, though -- is your not being feminist because you don't believe in equality of the sexes, or because you prefer to maintain a long-distance relationship with the baggages which people have [ignorantly] attached to the term?

Feminism, I believe, would remain a fantasy due to the inconsistency between the way of life of a good number of ladies that propagate it and the school of thought. This has particularly disinclined me to their cause. The recent antics of a distinguished female judge in the country accused of involvement in justice commercialisation emphasizes the said. I come across ladies, both online and offline, that declare their zest for this movement, yet they act in manners that make no suggestions to one clamouring for a reasonable space in our socio-political and intellectual affairs. Frivolities like aligning with unimportant trends hold sway in their focus and concerns. If this continues, feminism could end up as a mere illusion.

Kayceenaz:

Feminism, I believe, would remain a fantasy

I strongly disagree with this. Feminism has gone beyond a mere Disneyland will-o’-the-wisp.

Because of feminism, we have women's suffrage. Because of feminism, women now hold esteemed offices in spheres originally thought to be the perogative of men: politics, engineering, etcetera.

Lise Meitner – the woman who discovered the nuclear fission of uranium and was denied a Nobel prize for her discovery due to her gender – was initially declined admission into a German university because she was a woman, and because according to the general weltanschaaung at the time, women had no business being in the sciences.

She had to wait eight years before she finally got admitted, even at that she had to take her classes in the school's basement because the school thought a woman wasn't worthy and cerebral enough to share a classroom teeming with brilliant male scientists.

Feminism has changed all of that, and intellectual discrimination against women is at its lowest ebb in this century than has ever been before. So yes, feminism has crossed the boundaries of fantasy and now, slowly and steadily, treads the terra firma of practicality and realism.

due to the inconsistency between the way of life of a good number of ladies that propagate it and the school of thought. This has particularly disinclined me to their cause.
The recent antics of a distinguished female judge in the country accused of involvement in justice commercialisation emphasizes the said.

I agree, and the fault lies with feminists, not feminism.

I come across ladies, both online and offline, that declare their zest for this movement, yet they act in manners that make no suggestions to one clamouring for a reasonable space in our socio-political and intellectual affairs. Frivolities like aligning with unimportant trends hold sway in their focus and concerns. If this continues, feminism could end up as a mere illusion.

Some of them don't even fully understand what the movement is all about, ditto some men. It's why it gets trivialized to the extent that insubstantial arguments like who gets to pay for a dinner date or who settles the bill is infallibly the moot point in many debates on feminism, leaving the more pertinent gender issues unattended to.

Kayceenaz:

A man handpicked by God to complete a woman is very unlikely to treat her with levity. I stand to be corrected.Thus, this is a clarion call to relevant

Kaycee Naze
(Rational Pen)

#PaintMeOrangeNotBlue-Black#

MAY GOD BLESS REAL MEN.... Not weathered beaten ones, who claim to be men.

Sgwash:

Yeah right, buh haven't u seen or heard of forced chemistry One borne out of lust and love of frivolities. I think that's what the guy u quoted is trying to explain.

I have never heard of forced chemistry.

DarkRebel101:


Not even if he's an intellectual Titan, has a fat bank account, and owns a heart irrigated with the milk of human kindness?

How will I sleep with him in one bed and do the rest that is done in the oda room if I am not attracted to him physically?
For me, attraction is non-negotiable.

Mindfulness:

How will I sleep with him in one bed and do the rest that is done in the oda room if I am not attracted to him physically?
For me, attraction is non-negotiable.

I almost thought you deliberately evaded the question.

Physical attraction is bi-faceted: a man may not have the facial looks but could be attractive in other areas, and vice versa.

When you told Haneefah that you cannot overlook ugliness, I wasn't sure if it was restricted to just facial ugliness or if it includes other physical attributes.

DarkRebel101:


I almost thought you deliberately evaded the question.

Physical attraction is bi-faceted: a man may not have the facial looks but could be attractive in other areas, and vice versa.

When you told Haneefah that you cannot overlook ugliness, I wasn't sure if it was restricted to just facial ugliness or if it includes other physical attributes.

People do not have to look like celebrities, flawless and in perfect shape, to be attractive, I agree.
Sometimes it is the way someone talks, moves or carries him/herself that makes us crave their attention.

Mindfulness:


People do not have to look like celebrities, flawless and in perfect shape, to be attractive, I agree.
Sometimes it is the way someone talks, moves or carries him/herself that makes us crave their attention

Interesting. Thanks for reinforcing something I already knew.

Mindfulness:

I have never heard of forced chemistry.

We learn everyday