bukatyne:
The thing with Polygamy is that a man must have committed adultery before polygamy takes place even if he never slept with the wife before marrying her.

The process of wooing a second wife is adultery.

CC: Acidosis

Acidosis:
I think polygamy based on religious grounds is totally different from the baby mama and side chick type.

Please note that some baby mamas never planned to be one. Women are very emotional and sometimes they get too attracted to say no to the little little advances and emotional covering from men they admire. Most of the time, it is the little attempts that result to pregnancy (which morality won't make them abort). A lot of single women in their thirties are very decent, yet lonely. Some fall in the wrong hands out of their desire to find an emotional coverage, someone to spend time with, not necessarily money or intimacy.

However there is another category of baby mama-polygamy. The flavour, wizkid, dems , the careless and sometimes irresponsible men (boys) who, because of wealth, feel they can sleep with any ho-e. It is this category of ho-es who openly flaunt their titles on Twitter and Instagram. There is absolutely nothing to admire or learn from these folks. Take away the money and 10 minutes fame they enjoy on Nairaland front-page (courtesy of lalasticlala) and their lives are in complete ruins.
Men like Tinubu are stup!d


Lastly, you need to draw a distinction between adultery, baby mama, and polygamy. Polygamy does not necessarily means adultery, especially when men hide under culture and religion.

Polygamy means a marriage has taken place. Women and men in this category have that "legal right" to pride themselves as married women/men.

Since majority of baby mamas today are "legally" married only in the supreme court of Instagram and Magistrate court of Twitter, the word polygamy may not be suitable for their cases. These ones don't have that legal rights to call themselves married women, but they have human rights and the rights to seek attention.

Acidosis:
I think polygamy based on religious grounds is totally different from the baby mama and side chick type.

Please note that some baby mamas never planned to be one. Women are very emotional and sometimes they get too attracted to say no to the little little advances and emotional covering from men they admire. Most of the time, it is the little attempts that result to pregnancy (which morality won't make them abort). A lot of single women in their thirties are very decent, yet lonely. Some fall in the wrong hands out of their desire to find an emotional coverage, someone to spend time with, not necessarily money or intimacy.

However there is another category of baby mama-polygamy. The flavour, wizkid, dems , the careless and sometimes irresponsible men (boys) who, because of wealth, feel they can sleep with any ho-e. It is this category of ho-es who openly flaunt their titles on Twitter and Instagram. There is absolutely nothing to admire or learn from these folks. Take away the money and 10 minutes fame they enjoy on Nairaland front-page (courtesy of lalasticlala) and their lives are in complete ruins.

As regards the cat fights, it's one of the characteristics of institutionalized polygamy - enshrined in religion (as instructed for example by Mohammed), and culture (e.g. the traditional Yoruba culture). That's the reason a man like Tinubu, being Yoruba and a Muslim can stupidly pride himself as a polygamous man. Men like Tinubu are stup!d because the only time they ever remember culture and religion is on issues bothering on illicit s e x. When the time to steal and disenfranchised a region comes, they quickly remind you of the need to promote Nigeria's unity and share the resources evenly. Same unity they can't promote with their dirty deeks.

Lastly, you need to draw a distinction between adultery, baby mama, and polygamy. Polygamy does not necessarily means adultery, especially when men hide under culture and religion.

Polygamy means a marriage has taken place. Women and men in this category have that "legal right" to pride themselves as married women/men.

Since majority of baby mamas today are "legally" married only in the supreme court of Instagram and Magistrate court of Twitter, the word polygamy may not be suitable for their cases. These ones don't have that legal rights to call themselves married women, but they have human rights and the rights to seek attention.

oloyede252:


" Men like Tinubu are stup!d" .....just thank God you didn't make this statement in politics section.

dangotesmummy:
Adultery, polygamy and baby Mama ism are all the same thing. It can be likened to 3 ethnic groups e.g Yoruba Hausa and igbo. They're all Nigerians with similar values yet different. every woman at one point have engaged in any of these based on the circumstances surrounding them and of course influence from friends or family

dangotesmummy:
Adultery, polygamy and baby Mama ism are all the same thing. It can be likened to 3 ethnic groups e.g Yoruba Hausa and igbo. They're all Nigerians with similar values yet different. every woman at one point have engaged in any of these based on the circumstances surrounding them and of course influence from friends or family

PaperLace:

Ah
Iya Dangote!!!

raumdeuter:


The new husband is long dead and she lives alone now, No husband she is in her 60's and probably regret the move she made over 35yrs ago

Timbuktuo:
I doubt she regrets it unless there's no more money. If she was left a healthy inheritance or made money in her younger hustling days, all she need do is employ a boy toy to service the engine when necessary. Problem solved.

raumdeuter:


Of course there is no more money. The older kids of the first wife who are about her age sat on all the money and left all the remaining wifes and kids dry

The wife and kids are in Yankee doing normal hustle and are no different from regular kids who grew up. The wife now does petty babysitting on US and she hooks up here and there with some divorcee men and Older men looking for side action

Employing a boy toy isnt as sure as it looks, One it takes money, the boy toys start getting greedy, the women starts getting jealous

raumdeuter:


Of course there is no more money. The older kids of the first wife who are about her age sat on all the money and left all the remaining wifes and kids dry

The wife and kids are in Yankee doing normal hustle and are no different from regular kids who grew up. The wife now does petty babysitting on US and she hooks up here and there with some divorcee men and Older men looking for side action

Employing a boy toy isnt as sure as it looks, One it takes money, the boy toys start getting greedy, the women starts getting jealous

Timbuktuo:
I guess she didn't plan her future well. She had to have known her baby daddy isn't immortal. She should have had an end game. Oh, well, not like she showed much sign of critical thinking all along anyway.

deathcomestoall:
Having been birthed from the trenches of polygamy, I think I am well equipped to talk about this topic. I am focusing on this subject because it has not been confronted for years and it is slowly being bred into our mind by the media. Debating polygamy will remind us why we should all join the fight to abolish it.
I would not be talking about women who are forced into polygamy due to religion or culture but will be addressing women who go into polygamy voluntarily, e.g., the side chicks A.K.A. baby mamas.


What are the practical reasons for women living in such a life style?
‘Majority of ladies in Nigeria are greedy. They have unrealistic expectations of guys and as a result ignore average guys and then go for the alpha male who believe they are a gift to women and the world’-humilitypays. They would rather have 10% of a 100% man than 100% of a 10% man.
Many single women entering into adulterous polygamy have idealistic ideas about great joy, power, wealth, financial security, respect, etc. which never happens completely especially when they realize they are just a number. Another reason is, a sense of family motivates women into polygamy especially those who are approaching 30 with no suitor.

Women like this betray their own moral compass and justify the affair. Women like this don't care about anyone else but themselves not even their kids. No respect for others or themselves, no mind to know right from wrong, no mind to know when to take responsibility for their actions. Dishonest and liars. Bad parenting. They have no twinge of conscience.
Many women with children who keep on staying in this mentally abusive façade say its for their children and for them to get their equal share of wealth. Lies. The children are being used as financial security in the beginning.

The only positive part of polygamy is that women learn to share while denying their own selfish desires.
Many polygamous men end up with irresponsible ladies who leech off them. The prospectives of adulterous polygamous men is dating prospective new wives.

From my analysis, I realize in many cases, polygamous fathers die alone
Many polygamists distance themselves from their families, pursue and woo other women to make themselves feel virile and worthy to become gods. Polygamous men see themselves as better or more valuable than other members of their family especially the women. Fathers are more like visitors in their children's lives.

From what I have seen in my experience as a child born and raised in polygamy, there is always one favourite wife, sometimes more and favourite child or children. The children who are unlucky enough to be the offspring of the mother who is not the favourite wife are often neglected and sometimes abused by their father. Growing up in polygamy is a trap, you basically have no identity.

Women and Men who voluntarily go into polygamy is as a result of bad parenting and often repeat the same to their children. There is no unity in polygamy, occasional cat fights between neglected and jealous wives. These kids grow up hating themselves, one(depending on whose side they are on) or both parents. Modern day polygamists children are often lost in the crowd of needy siblings and often resent the fact that they are notches in their fathers belt.

A very high percentage of children who come out from polygamous home are depressed and often tend to lead the lives their parents lived. They are too unhappy and confused to make wise choices. Any young woman who didn't get enough attention from her father can be a prime target for a lustful man(Yoruba demon) who steps in to fill their need for fatherly love.

Sometimes, I wonder why Nigeria isn't moving forward when we have staunch polygamists like Tinubu, Obasanjo, etc., at the helm of affairs whose families are not united but think they are in the best position to unite a country. No polygamous society has ever being a true liberal democracy.

Polygamy is not the beautiful principle and lifestyle some people try to claim it is. There is no benefit in polygamy. It is a destroyer of natural affection. Anyone who partakes in affairs get berated in the end. No matter what anyone says, it is usually terrible for the children and I wish children from polygamous families won't propagate this life style.

The world can be your problem but you are your own solution.

Disclaimer: I am only addressing the emotional aspect when mentioning polygamous children and not their ability to be successful in their chosen path in life.