swisswire:


thanks for your advice but u forget that marriage is an issue of a much higher act that needs caution because it is for eternity. I will not try to explain why giving my parents the full gist because one day, it will be known. better now than that time, because it will be a family problem. I didn't expect my parents to react in the way, they did! I know they are right but still confused to accept. their reasons are cultural, traditional and morally based!
more importantly, we are just recovering from another shocking experience (story for another day) involving marriage, and also last male child among 3 women. I don't blame them!
i know what to do but just looking for different opinion on this issue.

Coefficient:
Op, what if the tables were turned? Let's say you're the one with baggages, like a criminal history or had served jail term.

5minsmadness:
Marriage is for life.
Pick the best you come across.
Dont marry out of pity.
When the troubles start, and they will
You'll be the first to start singing the popular song "had i known".

Leave her. Look for better options with less baggage.
This may sound very harsh but its the truth.

5minsmadness:

Good question.
Would u let your sister marry an ex-convict?

Mimzyy:
I can only say, it's all gonna be ok. Sigh!

swisswire:
Thanks again! Firstly, I will be worried about the ex-convict tag and will like to know the actual crime and all details. But if it is Nigerian concept, I will not mind as long as my sister is happy. We know that you can become a convict for anything in this country, if we all are not already. Secondly, am very sure about the kid, because I was made aware by one of her respected Uncle. She didn't know that I am aware. Thirdly, the marriages were not legally constructed according to traditions and laws of the land. You know those cohabit matter. Fourth, I was the second reason, she left the second time. I advise her to because the man was abusive and injuring her at any slight quarrel. am not judging, he smokes all kind of cigars, drinks and womanize. I got to know her from the hospital after she came for treatments. So that is the story! I told my parents everything because I learnt from experience that marriage does not only involve the 2 individuals but the whole families. I need their guidance and support. I tell them everything about me and always got them with me (either positive or negative). I will go to them for their insight, wisdom and support always. I have learnt to say the issue as it is to them because at the time, I may not like or accept their decisions but it saves life most times. I will not withhold information from them that is important for easy victory when later it may or not come hunting and hurting with all its consequences.
I will have to breakup and continue with my life. I believe this marriage thing is not for everyone apart from catholic priests and nuns (that made their decisions). Such a life! Thanks again.

swisswire:


thanks for your advice but u forget that marriage is an issue of a much higher act that needs caution because it is for eternity. I will not try to explain why giving my parents the full gist because one day, it will be known. better now than that time, because it will be a family problem. I didn't expect my parents to react in the way, they did! I know they are right but still confused to accept. their reasons are cultural, traditional and morally based!
more importantly, we are just recovering from another shocking experience (story for another day) involving marriage, and also last male child among 3 women. I don't blame them!
i know what to do but just looking for different opinion on this issue.

LifeIsSoEasy:
Let her go. Irrespective of whatever, the marriage will NEVER work. It's the benins we're talking about here. Thay lady will be miserable if she goes ahead. I would run if I was in her shoes.

iliketheSunrise:
what're your parents' reason for not wanting you to marry the girl?