Hello guys,sincerely I am caught up in d middle of something very delicate to me and I honestly need advice from d matured ones here.permit ma mistakes n writing and I would appreciate no insults, thanks.

sometime in august ds year,I asked a certain girl out who happens to be my girlfriend at d moment. unfortunately for me I never knew she was in a relationship at dt time until we had a heart to heart discussion where she opened up and told me. what really got me most was d fact dt she lied Initially and told me d guy was just her friend. Well,she felt remorse for her deeds and has since den proven to me dt she dosent have anything to du with him any longer and dt her heart ,love and soul were meant for me.

Also while we were having our discussion,she opened up to me dt she has only had sex with two guys. well,I am a guy who appreciates d 'no sex' n a relationship. I still understood and handled d matter n d best way I could.

Fast forward to today....we were chatting recently and I asked dt same question and ds time she gave me an answer dt took me aback. dese time d number had increased to 4guys...though dey were all n her past .I am not throwing stones at her or placing any judgments kos I also have my pasts and have made mistakes but d fact dt she wasnt truthful at first struck me. d most painful and annoying thing s dt one of d guys who had slept with her is a very good friend of mine who happens to attend d same church with me. she told me about how klose she was with him and when asked if dey had any strings attached, she ended up saying dey were just friends den Buh never told me dt dey dated...her reasons were dt she was scared of losing me if she had told me earlier on...

As I type ds,she has requested for distance till she gets herself.well she apologized and has shown remorse..

I love her so much and she also do love me and I wouldnt mind taking her down d aisle.ds I have made known to her already. buh d point s ,how du I cope always seeing ds friend of mine knowing fully well he slept with ma 'potential wife'?it hurts....

ur advice would b duly appreciated...thanks

Follow your heart and not your head

You have to feed your self first before you talk of marriage young man.. If you can't handle your girls past why go into the relationship in the first place?

Don't ask the body count question if you can't handle the truth.

You're not ready.

I cannot marry a girl that has slept with my friend or acquaintance/colleague. I forbid such.

You can correct this abnormally now that you can. The so called love that will push you to the altar will someday fade and you'd be left with memories, just memories and imaginations especially when you meet this 'friend'. Also, forget not the law called "Okafor's theory': once debe, always debe, so think twice brotherly.
Don't come and be forming 'I don't care about the past' super man, face the truth and secure your future.

The last thing you should ever involve yourself with in marriage is the ex-factor. People should learn to deal with their baggage before delving into relationships. When I notice you're few metres close to your ex, I dump you without apologies.

You carry on as normal.

This happened pre your relationship with her, not post. But why are you so concerned with the past?

Move on bro.

Acidosis:
I cannot marry a girl that has slept with my friend or acquaintance/colleague. I forbid such.

You can correct this abnormally now that you can. The so called love that will push you to the altar will someday fade and you'd be left with memories, just memories and imaginations especially when you meet this 'friend'. Also, forget not the law called "Okafor's theory': once debe, always debe, so think twice brotherly.
Don't come and be forming 'I don't care about the past' super man, face the truth and secure your future.

The last thing you should ever involve yourself with in marriage is the ex-factor. People should learn to deal with their baggage before delving into relationships. When I notice you're few metres close to your ex, I dump you without apologies.

thanks... really appreciate

EfemenaXY:
You carry on as normal.

This happened pre your relationship with her, not post. But why are you so concerned with the past?

Move on bro.

i think I should b kos I tell her about ma past relationships and all...

Gpopsicle:


i think I should b kos I tell her about ma past relationships and all...

So?

How's digging up the past going to help you? You obviously can't handle it anyway, so do yourself a favour and call it quits.

If you can't deal with her past, set her free.

Nice guys always lose

My dear listening to all u av said, i av two choice for u
1, forget d past nd plan d future or
2, leave d gal alone

If u kip doing dis back nd front ish wit her past, u will one day hit d gal because u will lose control of ursef
Also u r not a virgin neither is she meaning, both of u av ur past. In simple word past is past!
To b truthful, i dont think u r ready for a committed relationship dat wil lead to marriage.
So long she is not dating anyone aside you, i see no nid for dis worries of urs.
Two of u shud sit,av a final discussion abt dis relationship nd finally forgive urselves den start afresh.
Kind regards.

As long as she hasn't aborted a baby before and she doesn't deny you sex, you have no qualms. But if she did any of these run like a demon is chasing you

Chickychic:
My dear listening to all u av said, i av two choice for u
1, forget d past nd plan d future or
2, leave d gal alone

If u kip doing dis back nd front ish wit her past, u will one day hit d gal because u will lose control of ursef
Also u r not a virgin neither is she meaning, both of u av ur past. In simple word past is past!
To b truthful, i dont think u r ready for a committed relationship dat wil lead to marriage.
So long she is not dating anyone aside you, i see no nid for dis worries of urs.
Two of u shud sit,av a final discussion abt dis relationship nd finally forgive urselves den start afresh.
Kind regards.

I really appreciate ur input in ds.already I have made plans for us to discuss...

byvan03:
If you can't deal with her past, set her free.

thanks...

EfemenaXY:


So?

How's digging up the past going to help you? You obviously can't handle it anyway, so do yourself a favour and call it quits.

I ain't digging up her past...in fact I am k with her past and dt she knows. actually, I try to forget all dt has happened and forge ahead to plan a future together with her.its just dt yesterday she sent me a message on whatsapp dt demanded d question and dt was how everything unfolded.

Anyways, thanks for ur input...

Gpopsicle:


I really appreciate ur input in ds.already I have made plans for us to discuss...

Thanks solidkay

Gpopsicle:


I really appreciate ur input in ds.already I have made plans for us to discuss...

Thats a gud move...ride on

https://www.nairaland.com/3527018/son-looks-like-wifes-former

This is the reason why she wasn't honest.To avoid this sort of scenario in future.However,she's not a good liar at all.
People are not truthful about their body count because they fear the one they love cannot handle it.

If you really cannot cope with the knowledge that someone you know ate the cookie,best move on now so you don't end up with high BP or seeing things like your fellow man in that link.

In any relationship,d less u knw abt ur partner's past d better for u,
dear troubled brother, this is marriage we r talking abt here,so before u say I do,as urself these questions
1.can u still trust her,
2.will u ever take her words for it again
3.will u still love like u did
4.how much more of her ugly past can ur poor mind take?

Jahblessme:
https://www.nairaland.com/3527018/son-looks-like-wifes-former

This is the reason why she wasn't honest.To avoid this sort of scenario in future.However,she's not a good liar at all.
People are not truthful about their body count because they fear the one they love cannot handle it.

If you really cannot cope with the knowledge that someone you know ate the cookie,best move on now so you don't end up with high BP or seeing things like your fellow man in that link.

thanks bro,I appreciate.

Solidkay:
In any relationship,d less u knw abt ur partner's past d better for u,
dear troubled brother, this is marriage we r talking abt here,so before u say I do,as urself these questions
1.can u still trust her,
2.will u ever take her words for it again
3.will u still love like u did
4.how much more of her ugly past can ur poor mind take?

I have sat down to analyse d whole issue and taken my time to answer d aforementioned questions.we have made mistakes in d past and it wouldn't b nice dt n d heat of annoyance I make drastic decisions dt I would later regret.

I guess I reacted vehemently to d fact dt I was shocked at d news.at ds stance,I am good to move on with her.

thanks anyways for ur contribution

Guys I really wanna thank u all for sparing ur precious time out of ur busy schedule to answer a brother n distress.

it may interest u to know dt despite d fact she initiated d 'distance' of a thing pending d time I get over it,she kalled me ds morning to apologise and I could sense d remorse in her voice.

interestingly, she emphatically stated how bad she felt for d wrongs and mistakes she had made n d past and was ready to go at any length to secure our relationship.

now I realise,I think I took it too far ds time. d end point s we both love ourselves and ds she has proven over time. Thanks for ur comments and invaluable suggestions u made here..I really appreciate, God bless u all.

sisisioge:
Don't ask the body count question if you can't handle the truth.

it wasn't like I did it on purpose,something triggered it.

The greatest mistake she made was, she agreed to date you even when she knew this was going to happen.
She can't eat her cake and have it.
As a lady, I can't even date my friends ex....... Which kind see finish come be that?

Congrats

Just leave her. You shouldn't be losing sleep over who your girlfriend took to bed before you.

Life is too short

Gpopsicle:


I have sat down to analyse d whole issue and taken my time to answer d aforementioned questions.we have made mistakes in d past and it wouldn't b nice dt n d heat of annoyance I make drastic decisions dt I would later regret.

I guess I reacted vehemently to d fact dt I was shocked at d news.at ds stance,I am good to move on with her.

thanks anyways for ur contribution

Bingo!!!!
Now u r good to go.
All d best bro.

Gpopsicle:
Hello guys,sincerely I am caught up in d middle of something very delicate to me and I honestly need advice from d matured ones here.permit ma mistakes n writing and I would appreciate no insults, thanks.

sometime in august ds year,I asked a certain girl out who happens to be my girlfriend at d moment. unfortunately for me I never knew she was in a relationship at dt time until we had a heart to heart discussion where she opened up and told me. what really got me most was d fact dt she lied Initially and told me d guy was just her friend. Well,she felt remorse for her deeds and has since den proven to me dt she dosent have anything to du with him any longer and dt her heart ,love and soul were meant for me.

Also while we were having our discussion,she opened up to me dt she has only had sex with two guys. well,I am a guy who appreciates d 'no sex' n a relationship. I still understood and handled d matter n d best way I could.

Fast forward to today....we were chatting recently and I asked dt same question and ds time she gave me an answer dt took me aback. dese time d number had increased to 4guys...though dey were all n her past .I am not throwing stones at her or placing any judgments kos I also have my pasts and have made mistakes but d fact dt she wasnt truthful at first struck me. d most painful and annoying thing s dt one of d guys who had slept with her is a very good friend of mine who happens to attend d same church with me. she told me about how klose she was with him and when asked if dey had any strings attached, she ended up saying dey were just friends den Buh never told me dt dey dated...her reasons were dt she was scared of losing me if she had told me earlier on...

As I type ds,she has requested for distance till she gets herself.well she apologized and has shown remorse..

I love her so much and she also do love me and I wouldnt mind taking her down d aisle.ds I have made known to her already. buh d point s ,how du I cope always seeing ds friend of mine knowing fully well he slept with ma 'potential wife'?it hurts....

ur advice would b duly appreciated...thanks

This is y I always advocate that we should let the sleeping dog be. Let our past remain in our past! Don't dig up what u cannot pack. Anyway, just pretend it never happened and move on with your girl, that is her past.

I don't understand why people are so inquisitive about ex's. Did you meet her a virgin? What will information about her ex's do for you? Will it help in a positive way or destroy what you have? Or do you want to know about the ex's so you can judge her? Will that be a healthy relationship for her? Where at the beginning you are looking for things that do not concern you. Or do you need information about her ex's to check if you have ever slept with them or what, I don't even know why decent humans rope themselves into situations with people like the OP. You only like to create drama where there is none. So after you have done extensive investigation, you now come on NL to further open her yansh. Rubbish.

Why do you want to know how many people she slept with before you met her?

You should be focused more on the present and if both of you can stay faithful to each other rather than who she did before you got her.

Weird