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Inexperienced Newly Married Man Needs Your Advice / My Marriage Is Being Tested. I Need Your Advice / Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. (2) (3) (4)
She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 5:29pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Hi everyone, I have a friend who needs advice,I will direct her to this topic once opinions roll in. She has this bobo she loves but he recently confessed that he is a divorcee with 4 kids from 3 women. He didnt tell her initially cus he thought, they will just be friends and he doesn't like to talk about his "mistakes with everyone" but now things are serious, he opened up. Me I no wan talk the wan wey them go use crucify me upside down on the cross tomorrow. I know there are matured and experienced minds here. Please we need your advice. |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by HARDDON: 5:32pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
her most important question is what caused the first marriage to crash? Why did he agree to the divorce?( dont think he would have if actually he is a christian that truly fears God unless ofcos, she was promiscuous.) She should not only hear from him , but also other people and the stories shouldnt contrast. has he truly changed? ( only God can answer this question, so she should ask him) does she have a large heart and can be mother to all the kids, whether they stay with them or come visit ,without having to be wicked to them? Kindly tell her: the last thing she should consider now, is those things u listed up there : "very okay, perfect character, handsome, God fearing, good family, financially ok" if she is in doubt about this advise, let her ask the first wify how far! May the good Lord direct her steps. 7 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 5:55pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
First of all i know say na you no be any friend. Now when you say babymama and divorcee together I'm confused. Is it that he married 3 women one by one and divorced them one after the other or they just had children for him without marriage Well in both cases for a fresh young girl in her mid 20s, my answer is "no" The best for him is to wed a fellow divorcee or a lady with at least a child outside wedlock like himself and they'll both understand their similar past and live happily Forget Wetin pastor talk, na those weh no dey assertive pastor dey use chop before. Na pastor he wan marry? Or pastor go live with you in your matrimony Are you ready to face the fact that the man may cherish his other children than your own and won't even mind showing it everywhere, when fight start btwn ur children and his children you may forget that youre a christian woman and do unimaginable things you never thought you could do, then you'll end up being a wicked stepmother. Have you thought that one of his divorced wife may settle with him later and continue their affair, or that if (God forbid) you have a delayed conception, he won't even feel bothered since after all he has his own children-boys and girls equally. What even makes you think such a man values marriage....someone with a perfect number of children...If not for children, why would people wanna go thru the wahala of marriage. Even if he marries you where's the security, its only you that would be on your prime in the marriage, to him a father of 4 who probably would still be getting attentions from ladies, hes already retiring from being responsible to a woman in marriage, its just to have a woman at home to be sleeping with. So think twice except you dont have plan for ur future. The dream of yes and no is because of the Mr.Biggs and shawama shopping that he's taking you to for now, when u enter finish ur eye go clear o. There are women with children outta wedlock like him too that are looking for life partners and soulmates to live responsibly with, let him go for them. And you go for a single prson like you before time runs out. 31 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Oluwapresley(m): 5:56pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
the person above said it all. 1 Like |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by sisisioge: 5:56pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Well if it's one, we say sheets happen. If it's two, we say guy is Stoopid. When it's three, we call him a serial wetinwetin. Biko, if your girl is as hot as said let her carry her tent go pitch else where. Although, nobody holy pass o but some of us come smelling like roses compared to others in the sniff factory. Whew, it is well. May God help her . 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 5:58pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
HARDDON: Amen o |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by pointblank247(m): 5:59pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
the combination of baby papa and divorcee doesn't stricke me as a man I will allow to marry my sister. I smell recklessness.sorry rat. 8 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 6:01pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
sisisioge: its well. Thanks for the advice. |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by HARDDON: 6:23pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
silverr: Have access to the first wife? said that out of sarcasm... cos those probably where the things the first wify saw and jump on! only to realize too late that all that glitters aint gold. your friend shouldnt make same mistake. @ bolded, how can a man that have two kids from the extra worlds, give those reasons and she blivs him? so is he telling us that he is perfect? it was all her fault? common! slap some sense into her. and hey, there are always richer men than him, she could have married. i hate to do this to a fellow guy but here is a lil secret question: you are a woman Silver, when your man is cheating on you, do you still hold him in high regards? that could be why she disrespects him and wano bring down the house each time....She must have been pained. she didnt object because she was fed up too! and hey, here is the BIG one, did she cater away all his property during the divorce? she married him for his money,never loved him yet she wasnt the one that initiated divorce so she cud lay her hands on the pie and be free? wow woman! this is a big deal, any how she wano do it, she must investigate what really happened to his first marriage. look for old neighbors, ex wife's friends, family member, just about anybody. this is very easy. let her ask him his ex wife's full names. facebook is her friend thereafter. she should try and make friend with any of this group, never let them knw she knows the guy in question and just pick their brains if she doesnt do this and jumps head on, sorry is her case! cos from my ""old player's feelings", the guy luvs soup mixtures! 5 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 6:36pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
HARDDON: Really strong points even I failed to notice. |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by byvan03: 6:44pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Nothing good will ever come out of a man with 3 baby mamas, take it or leave it. Out of all the men in this world, why will a girl that young settle for a guy that has altered 3 women's life in that way? We have brains for a reason,let her use hers . 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by okirewaju(f): 6:52pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Too much baggage abeg 3 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by HARDDON: 7:05pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
silverr: @bolded 1, cud it be that she was quietly absorbing his extracurricular ways until she couldnt take it no more and told her frnds/family? is that why they taught her to be boss lady and dont take poo from him? see? she was okay until he was caught. @bolded 2, he didnt seek happiness somewhere else because of her, his happiness has always rested on his luv for extras. he is using that as an excuse! how can u go cheating on your wife and still hv the guts to paint it round? and you think he wudnt cheat on your frnd at the slight row? @bolded 3, and he hasnt been rendered useless? any1 can say this to score cheap points, btw, what did she get? @last bolded, go over what i suggested up there.... there are subtle ways to extract info without even the devil bordering to tell you lies all she knows now, is all He told her, she is hoodwinked. if she wants to take his words for it, good luck with that. but it is better to die standing( boldly find out and make informed decision) than live on your kneels( take his words for it and be @ his mercy) all her life. itz her call 3 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by HARDDON: 7:11pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Don |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by eyinjuege: 7:12pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
She should go and get someone else to marry. He's impregnated 3 women, and none was good enough to marry? Your friend will soon become the 4th baby mama Even if he's from a rich home, and equally rich himself she doesn't need so much baggage. I won't be surprised that the most attractive thing about him is his wealth. Let your friend take her eyes off that 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 7:25pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
HARDDON:please she doesnt want this on fp just sound advice from a handful |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 7:36pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
eyinjuege: 1 Like |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Ishilove: 7:37pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Too much baggage. He's 34 and already has 4 kids from 3 women. Anyway, silverr it's your call. Marriage isn't what you jump into. Just hold on and be watchful, praying to God to reveal the man's true character 1 Like |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by thorpido(m): 7:47pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Too much baggage. He should marry one of his baby mamas. The only thing that is most attractive about him is his money and his 'player-handsomeness'. Op,did you say 'perfect character' and 'God fearing'?Hmmmm 3 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Quietboy2017: 7:48pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Like if you think Op friend is considering the man because of money 2 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 7:59pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Quietboy2017: Think what you want |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Ishilove: 8:04pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
thorpido:Yep, she sure did. A 'God fearing' man with perfect character who can't keep his deek one place 3 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by toksbisola: 8:16pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
@Op; your friend wants to be a mum to 4 step kids right? She doesn’t have a child of her own to know what is like to handle a kid and suddenly she wants to handle 4 kids from 3 different women; is she alright at all? (pardon my expression) and does she think it’s beans? A young woman in her mid twenties at that; why does she want to complicate her life? That said, when I read your write-up I suspected that this man must have money and that is probably what is enticing her and VOILA you stated that he has money; so there we are, WOMEN AND THE MENTION OF MONEY; NOT SURPRISED. Ask her, if it was a man without money with 4 kids, would she still be interested in him? She best think hard and I mean VERY HARD before she makes her final decision. 4 kids that are not yours ain't no yam and beans to handle. Is all easy for her to say I’LL COPE AFTERALL I LOVE THEIR FATHER; HENCE I’M PREPARED TO PUT UP WITH ANYTHING THAT THE BABAYMAMAS' THROUGH AT ME; yeah right. I see the man as a bit selfish though IMHO for going for a woman who doesn’t have kids of her own and wanting her to take up such responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, 1 step kid is understandable; 2 step kids would be pushing it; but 4 step kids is extensive and hard work. No disrespect to the man but he probably would be better off with someone who already has a child/children of their own as they would understand how to interact with the kids a bit more. Don’t get me wrong as I’m not saying your friend would not understand how to interact with the kids but it’s GOING TO BE HARD. Let her think hard and remove her eyes and mind from his money and think logically with her eyes wide open and not allow his wealth to close her eyes to issues that may/can occur. She better pay close attention to what her family members are telling her now and avoid STORIES THAT TOUCH, HAD I KNOWN, AND CRYING OVER SPILT MILK; as love is not enough when it comes to settling down in a marital home. Not to talk of going into marriage with a partner with this much drama. At 34 years (Not judging him) he say the first wife is this and that, 2nd babymama not good enough and 3rd babymama also not good enough; oh please. If he was that good, then | see no reason for his having children with so many women, then moving on from each of them stating that they all have one problem after another but freeing himself from any fault he himself may have. If your friend eventually decides to marry him, then she becomes babymama number 4; can she handle that? and would it be another case of her not good enough and he goes down the same scenario of dumping her like he's done to the other women? Finally, marriage is not a bed of roses and just getting to understand your partner takes a lot of effort let alone with a partner who already has 4 kids with 3 babymamas’ THAT IS GOING TO BE A HARD TASK TO SETTLE DOWN WITH. Encourage your friend to find someone who does't have this amount of baggage; preferable a single man as single men still exist. Also point out the clear pros and cons to your friend before she makes her final decision as you can't make that decision for her. I rest my case 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 8:23pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Mille: 8:28pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
silverr: The guy is just 34 and already has 4kids from 3 different women. And yet you say he is God fearing and has a perfect character? How can a single young lady even consider someone like that. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by blessedvisky(m): 8:31pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
4 kids from 3 different women?? Is he an artiste?? I'll advice your "friend" to run.. .. So she'll be taking care of 4 different children from 3 different women. She should be ready for a lot of wahala if she marries that man OO. Coz problem will surely happen as long as those 3 women are alive. My 2 cents 1 Like |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by blessedvisky(m): 8:32pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Mille: I wonder too OO. 2 Likes |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 8:43pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by Jamean(f): 8:54pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
thorpido: Every line you typed are my exact meditations. 1 Like |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by DBestDoc(f): 9:02pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
silverr:How sure are you @ the emboldened? This man sure knows how to use women to get what he wants, he's perfected the art of . Cooked stories swallowed hook and sinker. I sympathize with other sisters that fell victim to his charms and illusions of perfection he gives. I wish his current catch all the best! 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by silverr(f): 9:08pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
DBestDoc: i reject it for her o. New catch keh @the emboldened, we are at the mercy of what he says and our number 6 |
Re: She Needs Your Advice by DBestDoc(f): 9:14pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
silverr: I no know if i go say na small pikin dey worry your friend, but i no fit talk that one 'cause a lady in her mid 20s should know better. How many men, no matter how bad the konji is would willingly go down with an unclad stranger they met in their house unexpectedly without prior invitations or familiarity? Even a 10 year old kid would be able to tell it's either a set-up or there's a mission behind the act. Ladies, we need to keep sentiments aside sometimes and put our God given brains to use. it's not unachievable. 7 Likes 1 Share |
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