tolly4real:

i ve always said to myself i wont marry some1 outside my religion but i did. your mindset when it comes to love can change

Exactly, but do you "love" at the detriment of your spirituality. Are you willing give up all you believe in just to make a man happy. Why do women have to be the one to make the sacrifice. My uncle told me that he will NEVER allow a woman change to his religion or denomination because she's in "love". If she does it'll be because she really ACCEPTS his religion and wants to change. He said his conscience will not allow him, that everyone has a right to personally choose how and in what manner they want to worship God and he won't be the one to come in between that. I almost got married to someone who was in a different denomination and of course everyone expected me to change as the woman. He knew I had nothing against his church but he also knew I'd rather worship in my own way. Friends, relatives, everyone knew my worry. Most of them said "Don't do it if you won't go into it whole-heartedly". Others said I would be a fool if I let such a "little thing" like that get in my way of getting married. That it was normal. The funny thing was that if my ex-fiance had insisted, I would have gone ahead, because I was so much in love with him,  but he just gave me time to decide. He told me, " I know you, you will never be truly happy if you change just to please me and that's not what I want." I prayed so much during this period. My prayer to God was never to put me in a situation where I'd have to choose. We ended up not getting married because of this. It was the MOST DIFFICULT decision we had ever made in our lives. I can tell you that having your heart broken doesn't compare to the pain of having to make decisions like these. Now I am thankful to God I made that decision. I'm in a better place. I look back and I say "WOW!" Love is really blind. I was lucky I had a selfless ex-fiancé (bless him) because I know in my heart that I would have gone ahead if he had insisted. And knowing the kind of person I am, it will only be a while before I go back to my church and then the problem starts. Everyone gets involved, Relatives, In-laws and whoever. I will now be labelled the rebel. The one who now wants to become the "man" of the house. I remember people said "Get married first, that one is minor, you'll deal with that later." Huh? When I'm stuck abi? Yeah right!. I know couples that this has destroyed. It's easy to manage initially but when the kids start coming, the real task begins. What church will they go to? For spouses that do change, a lot of them are not comfortable, they suck it up because they want to stay married. They say, "At least I'm married." Hmm, Ok oooo. I'm not that strong.

But the thing is, it works for most people. It's not a bad thing to do, as long as the person changing is doing it willingly and accepts it FULLY, and not because he/she claims he/she is "in love". Love and Spiritual compatibility are two different things. They both have to work for a successful marriage. You can't have one without the other. I mean you can, if you force it.

@kech, i understand everything u said, of course religion and love re two different things. U knw men initially when u talked abt the religion there response is always am nt stopping u from practising wht u believe in but wait till u walk the aisle and then they will sing a different song i.e i dnt want my kids to be confused, i want them to grow up knowing one religion and stuffs like that. though i still ve strong believe in my religion but when u want peace to reign in ur house wht can u do? God help us

Not in this generation and the next.

tolly4real:

@kech, i understand everything u said, of course religion and love re two different things. U knw men initially when u talked abt the religion there response is always am nt stopping u from practising wht u believe in but wait till u walk the aisle and then they will sing a different song i.e i dnt want my kids to be confused, i want them to grow up knowing one religion and stuffs like that. though i still ve strong believe in my religion but when u want peace to reign in your house wht can u do? God help us.

My dear, I understand jare. Men do have it easy and you can't really hold them to their word. I've heard guys talking to themselves saying "Ol boy!, just gree. When una don marry, then we go know who pay bride price."  Even if the guy agrees to allow you practice yours sef, his relatives will say, "Eh? Who is marrying who?"
Anyway, as long as you truly accepted his way of worship and it works for you, you'll be fine. I agree, there's nothing worse than having the kids get caught in that mess. An unfortunately, only us women are  the peacemakers.

never, God first b4 anything

& that's ow it starts
1st you change religion,
then you change ow you look,

If he loves you,he'll love all of you

God help us.

why would anyone have to change thier religion expecialy why the woman because they got married. religion is a personal belief system. two people can live very happily in oposing religions as long as they dont try to change eachother. forcing your spouce to change religions can atually cause more problems and animocity in the relationship. learn to accept your partner and thier choices.

why should i? for me the real love is God (my religion)

HELL NO!!!

Say wetin? why can't my spouse change to make me happy?

Serious talk, i cant say oooooooo

It depend on his religion, if his religion is of Godly, i will change mine to his so that we will reason together.

Thanks.

I think you guys have a good reason why or why not to change your religion, my is different I am now a pegan because that is the only way I can be at peace with my babe for she complain that I go to chruch too much even more than pastor do, ask me how many times do I found myself in the chruch


ONLY ONCE IN A MONTH

vikiviko:

there is nothing wrong about it

Gbam!

A woman must change her everything including relegion. It is base of true submission

I cant and did not

oluagness:

A woman must change her everything including relegion. It is base of true submission

Say wetin? Abeg, we are in the 21st century ohh,

Till she raises the kids and you dont get to know half of what theyre depending on for the challenges they face in their lives

mama-gee:

Not in this generation and the next.

Its their generation though.

It really isnt all about you, theres a bigger picture, your family.

The religion of ghost can never be match with monetheism

Capital NO. I can't compromise my Faith for love. I can't see light and choose darkness in the name of love.

I can date a girl who isn't a born again christian; so the issue of me changing my religion to make her happy is totally out of the question.

@crazyman, u are great. xtains for real. Born again xtain or nothing else

nO

Beautymc:

@crazyman, u are great. xtains for real. Born again xtain or nothing else

Thanks dear

Well in my opinion, it is absolutely wrong for anyone to change his/her religion just to please a spouse. Your religion is your believe and anyone who suddenly becomes a renegade just because of a spouse and not of a stronger coviction does not really believe afterall. And he/she who had changed religion for that singular reason would change again and again.
I believe ones religion should be by conviction, and one should marry within his or her folks (same belief). It is said that birds of same feather flock together and the Bible also warns against that. "be not unequally yoked together with unbeliever, for what agrrement has light to do with darkness and what concord with he who belives with an infidel?" .
Mind you, if someone claims to accept your religion just to make you happy and vis-visa what happens tomorrow when he or she offends you and make you unhappy? You also go back to your first faith to also make him or her unhappy. There are three things I believe we shouldn't toy with
1. Our faith
2. Our health and
3. Our emotions/state of mind.
It is very important we guide them jealosly.

oluagness:

A woman must change her everything including relegion. It is base of true submission

If a woman can do it, why can't a man do the same, It goes to show that Nija men never really fall in love with their partners, what a shame or better a pity.

No wonder they are always ready and eager to move into another relationship when there is a little misunderstanding, PITY