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African Men V. African Women - Culture - Nairaland

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African Men V. African Women by DaRapture: 4:14am On Nov 24, 2009
Why is it that so many more African men are more open to starting open, solid relationships with Black-American women than African women who are accepting of doing the same with Black-American men?

This especially goes for the African girls here who are physically hot and got their poo going on right tight. I mean, I'm a black-American guy and I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm a top catch economically and physically and I'm on the look out for a African woman with comparable showing, but this is alot more difficult than I expect it to be.

I've had one Igbo girl friend before my current search, who was perfect,  though do to unfortunate circumstances back home in Nigeria, she had to return to Nigeria and we ended the relationship. Since then I've not been able to get another to commit to starting a serious lasting relationship with me. Most just seem to be wanting to just have sex with me, ride in my cuts and visit my home, and have me buy them something,  in which I don't go for. I'm no sucker.  cheesy

They most often tell me some jive line about how they cant date a black-american because their parents will not approve, yet they want to remain FRIENDS. Yeah, who coincidentally they love to take around their friends and attempt to show off like a trophy as if I were their boyfriend.  angry Nah, I don't play that poo. Yet all the time I see African dudes walking around with their Black-American wives and kids.  undecided So is this a double slandered going on in the African community or what, because I've spoken with several other black-american brothers who've stated to me that they've gotten the same responses from African girls themselves.

Too many want to only be pretend partners with sexual and financial benefits.

So what do you say?
Re: African Men V. African Women by SeanT21(f): 8:35am On Nov 24, 2009
More African men seem to go for AA woman women then African women going for AA man.My uncles are all married to AA women.
Re: African Men V. African Women by DaRapture: 2:55pm On Nov 25, 2009
May I please get more answers to this question?
Re: African Men V. African Women by newakata(f): 10:28am On Nov 28, 2009
I noticed the same thing. In my circle- ALLL our Nigerian female friends married Nigerian men. Most of our male Nigerian friends date and/or marry African-American women.

i asked hubby about it, he said several things: (this is my Nigerian husbands explanation- and he is not an authority just one voice - so haters - keep silent if u don't like it.

1- Its less cultutally acceptable for naija women to marry black americans (yes there is a double standard).
2- Most Nigerian women tend to keep to themselves in the states (super close ties only with other african women and social circles), so there is less of a chance to even mingle close enough socially to date a black american
3- men are going to "sow their wild oats" naturally- So- its more likely and acceptable the African Man ends up broadening his horizons with women from "other" backgrounds.
4- A lot of African women don't "look approachable" to American men. Though they are beautiful- Their Attitude and facial expressions send messages that they are always in a state of disgust with someone or something- so black american men see that as a clear sign to NOT Approach such women.
Re: African Men V. African Women by DaRapture: 5:34pm On Nov 28, 2009
newakata:

I noticed the same thing. In my circle- ALLL our Nigerian female friends married Nigerian men. Most of our male Nigerian friends date and/or marry African-American women.

i asked hubby about it, he said several things: (this is my Nigerian husbands explanation- and he is not an authority just one voice - so haters - keep silent if u don't like it.

1- Its less cultutally acceptable for naija women to marry black americans (yes there is a double standard).
2- Most Nigerian women tend to keep to themselves in the states (super close ties only with other african women and social circles), so there is less of a chance to even mingle close enough socially to date a black american
3- men are going to "sow their wild oats" naturally- So- its more likely and acceptable the African Man ends up broadening his horizons with women from "other" backgrounds.
4- A lot of African women don't "look approachable" to American men. Though they are beautiful- Their Attitude and facial expressions send messages that they are always in a state of disgust with someone or something- so black american men see that as a clear sign to NOT Approach such women.

Newakata, thank you for that very insightful explanation, it sounds very reasonable. By, the way I think you should change your name on here, I find it rather degrading to us, for you to promote the use of such a word.
Re: African Men V. African Women by newakata(f): 1:19pm On Nov 29, 2009
/\ /\ /\ ur wecome!

Tell me yuoir understanding and use of he word Akata. My hubby and friend say iAKATA is not a negative term, unless it has evolved since his day it was used,
Re: African Men V. African Women by davidif(m): 9:40am On Nov 30, 2009
2- Most Nigerian women tend to keep to themselves in the states (super close ties only with other african women and social circles), so there is less of a chance to even mingle close enough socially to date a black american
3- men are going to "sow their wild oats" naturally- So- its more likely and acceptable the African Man ends up broadening his horizons with women from "other" backgrounds.
4- A lot of African women don't "look approachable" to American men. Though they are beautiful- Their Attitude and facial expressions send messages that they are always in a state of disgust with someone or something- so black american men see that as a clear sign to NOT Approach such women.

Good points, especially the boldened one. Most naija girls keep to there fellow naijas.

In most schools, most naija people in general rarely mingle with AA's (be they boys or girls). I got AA friends (let me use the word acquaintances and not friends) that include boys and girls and i would say that they are only 3 or 5 in number.

But hey man, it is what it is.
Re: African Men V. African Women by nene1: 7:29pm On Dec 04, 2009
This is very true. First of all a lot of african girls in general not only nigerian tend to mingle with other african girls mostly. If not from their same country at least from another african country. Even some of my african girlfriends who were born and raised here still stick to african guys. It is the men who usually tend to date out. But with AA it's the same thing. It is much more common for an AA male to be with a white woman or woman of another race than an AA woman. It's a male dominated society so it is easier for men to do certain things. Besides when an AA woman marries an African man she is marrying into an african family and their children will carry an african surname, but if an african girl marries an aa male, she married into a non-african family and her children carry a non-african name.

Anyway, I noticed it is much more common for nigerians and ghanaians to marry black american women, but for other african men it is rare. They mostly stick to their own. Naija men/aa women couples are really common.

Why do you want to marry an african woman anyway? There are plenty of single black american women. Not many african fathers would accept an aa male for their daughter.
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 6:05am On Dec 11, 2009
newakata:

1- Its less cultutally acceptable for naija women to marry black americans (yes there is a double standard).
2- Most Nigerian women tend to keep to themselves in the states (super close ties only with other african women and social circles), so there is less of a chance to even mingle close enough socially to date a black american
True, I think it mainly has to do with the changing of surnames. Some women see it as losing one's identity.
Re: African Men V. African Women by oyinda3(f): 6:24am On Dec 11, 2009
some AA guy i was talking with at the airport asked me the same question.
i think the girls tend to be generally more decent than the guys. they are picky about who they date and don't throw themselves on just about anyone.
for example, I only know one African guy/ AA girl couple and the girl already has a baby.  lipsrsealed. and i'm pretty sure they're not going to end up married.
African girls generally think about these peripheral things that are necessary to sustain a long term relationship.

FL Gators:

True, I think it mainly has to do with the changing of surnames. Some women see it as losing one's identity.


lol. that's funny that you think that. i don't think girls generally immediately think of surname when a guy asks her out. don't know if you do but it's fuunny.
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 6:30am On Dec 11, 2009
oyinda.:

lol. that's funny that you think that. i don't think girls generally immediately think of surname when a guy asks her out. don't know if you do but it's fuunny. 

Of course not. It's one of the reasons why most mothers dont want "omo akata".

It's not about what the mother wants, but at the same time, it plays a role.
Re: African Men V. African Women by chiogo(f): 6:33am On Dec 11, 2009
oyinda.:


lol. that's funny that you think that. i don't think girls generally immediately think of surname when a guy asks her out. don't know if you do but it's fuunny. 

LOL True. But it does come to mind after a while esp. with these boys always saying stuff like "wifey" when their asss is like 15.  grin

@topic, I just think black women in general are less likely to date outside their race compared to black men. Even though Africans and African-Americans are both blacks and so do not belong to different races per se, there still exists cultural differences. It's easier for a man because they don't adapt to the woman's culture in terms of marriage, a woman has to adapt to the man's culture.
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 6:34am On Dec 11, 2009
chiogo:

LOL True. But it does come to mind after a while esp. with these boys always saying stuff like "wifey" when their asss is like 15.  grin
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: African Men V. African Women by chiogo(f): 6:36am On Dec 11, 2009
FL Gators:

grin grin grin grin grin
LOOL it's true. I remember this AA boy would always make me say my first name with his last name.
They don't even sound good together but I just went along. undecided tongue
Re: African Men V. African Women by oyinda3(f): 6:41am On Dec 11, 2009
^ rotfl
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 6:42am On Dec 11, 2009
lol. . . .
Re: African Men V. African Women by iice(f): 4:14pm On Dec 15, 2009
newakata:

I noticed the same thing. In my circle- ALLL our Nigerian female friends married Nigerian men. Most of our male Nigerian friends date and/or marry African-American women.

i asked hubby about it, he said several things: (this is my Nigerian husbands explanation- and he is not an authority just one voice - so haters - keep silent if u don't like it.

1- Its less cultutally acceptable for naija women to marry black americans (yes there is a double standard).
2- Most Nigerian women tend to keep to themselves in the states (super close ties only with other african women and social circles), so there is less of a chance to even mingle close enough socially to date a black american
3- men are going to "sow their wild oats" naturally- So- its more likely and acceptable the African Man ends up broadening his horizons with women from "other" backgrounds.
4- A lot of African women don't "look approachable" to American men. Though they are beautiful- Their Attitude and facial expressions send messages that they are always in a state of disgust with someone or something- so black american men see that as a clear sign to NOT Approach such women.

I agree.
Though there are some women who are just as bad as the men with sowing their wild oats grin
Some have a wider circle of social circle but will only seriously date someone of their background/culture. Not to mention parental consent. Family is very important.


chiogo:

@topic, I just think black women in general are less likely to date outside their race compared to black men. Even though Africans and African-Americans are both blacks and so do not belong to different races per se, there still exists cultural differences. It's easier for a man because they don't adapt to the woman's culture in terms of marriage, a woman has to adapt to the man's culture.

True that! When asked why they have problems, i tell some of these women that back home, the world revolves round the man. Sorry but if you want to be with him, you will have to adapt to him.
Re: African Men V. African Women by DaRapture: 5:20am On May 01, 2012
bump
Re: African Men V. African Women by anonymous6(f): 11:30pm On May 02, 2012
To be honest I feel it depends on the african country or culture however in the end of the day african men tend to date or marry out more then african women but still low in general with africans whether they are men and women. In general most african women mingle with african women from their country or other countries, many want to marry men from their culture, many but not all stay away from african american men and I can say the samething for many african american men as well(except for horn of african women) who stay away from african women, also the way some african american men have treat their women as second fiddle compared to non-black women turns african women off, and many african parents are not accepting of their daughters being with african american men.

Although that is the case from my observation I do see african women of certain cultures go out with and marry african american men, but they tend to be from southern african countries, or countries like Cape Verde(african Island), Liberia, Sierrea leone, & Gambia but if it is from North Africa, East Africa(specifically Horners) and West African countries except for the three I mentioned it is pretty low. It depends on the culture and tribe. To me the reason I feel this happens is because southern african countries have similarities to african americans in certain things then other african countries. So you will see more south african women, Liberian and sierrea leone women getting with african american men then for example a Ethiopian, Nigerian, and etc women. Even though that is the case, it is still low amongst african women in all regions in general, but I have seen some african women from certain parts of africa(the parts I mentioned earlier) hook up with african american men but low though. It doesn't surprise me because Liberia are basically historically cousins to african americans and south africans have a similar history to a extent to african americans, so I feel that adds to it.

I don't think it is a walk in the park for african men though though but they easily date and at times marry outside their culture then african women however I have seen issues with african men when it comes to this that it leads to divorce. From my observation the african american women/african man couples that tend to last particularly from Nigeria are the ones where the wife adapts to the culture & let go some of that independent women attitude from them, if that doesn't happen then 99% of the time it leads to divorce unless the african man lets go of his culture(I have seen examples of that but very LOW).

For me I was born in America but my parents are Nigerian(Yoruba) & I only dated Nigerian men, a few of them dated out of their culture but majority of them have expressed that they would only marry a Nigerian women from their tribe. For me I just want to stay with in my culture and build a family with my culture, it is just the way it is.
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 2:15am On Sep 30, 2012
DaRapture: Why is it that so many more African men are more open to starting open, solid relationships with Black-American women than African women who are accepting of doing the same with Black-American men?

This especially goes for the African girls here who are physically hot and got their poo going on right tight. I mean, I'm a black-American guy and I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm a top catch economically and physically and I'm on the look out for a African woman with comparable showing, but this is alot more difficult than I expect it to be.

I've had one Igbo girl friend before my current search, who was perfect,  though do to unfortunate circumstances back home in Nigeria, she had to return to Nigeria and we ended the relationship. Since then I've not been able to get another to commit to starting a serious lasting relationship with me. Most just seem to be wanting to just have sex with me, ride in my cuts and visit my home, and have me buy them something,  in which I don't go for. I'm no sucker.  cheesy

They most often tell me some jive line about how they cant date a black-american because their parents will not approve, yet they want to remain FRIENDS. Yeah, who coincidentally they love to take around their friends and attempt to show off like a trophy as if I were their boyfriend.  angry Nah, I don't play that poo. Yet all the time I see African dudes walking around with their Black-American wives and kids.  undecided So is this a double slandered going on in the African community or what, because I've spoken with several other black-american brothers who've stated to me that they've gotten the same responses from African girls themselves.

Too many want to only be pretend partners with sexual and financial benefits.

So what do you say?

The thing is most African cultures are patriarchal, meaning that the culture is male oriented. Within these cultures it is believed that what ever the man says or does, it is not to be and cannot be copied by their women. There are strict roles for both sexes.

Some are even more strict in that a man can marry, date and impregnate a woman who is not from the culture because the child that woman may have will be by all standards part of the culture. On the flip side, the women of the culture who date, marry or birth a child for an outsider face ridicule, stigmas and the child from that union often times would not be considered "pure".

Because such cultures are ancient, it has become almost automatic for the African woman to want to play her part in continuing the culture and finding a man from her own culture who is used to her thinking and way of life.

Because the men know this, there is that "ego"..."we can do what we want, but these are OUR women".

Many foreign women who come from such cultures, notice the "free for all" life styles of Americans and see the ability of other men to "take your women..who are sucker for accents/foreigners/money etc" as a sign of weakness.

It sounds farfetched but it's true. Because many American women don't have that strict male oriented background, they are considered a "go zone" and can be "molded" by these foreign men, as opposed to the women who think of American men as less manly, lacking culture and pretty much incompatible in all standards.
Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 2:39pm On Dec 24, 2012
Another thread about the Op's Inability to Acquire an African Female....

Why is this thread Eerily Similar to this seen Below in this Photo....


Re: African Men V. African Women by Nobody: 2:40pm On Dec 24, 2012
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Viewing this board: freecocoa(f), Jessicavizzy(f), Sir suky, jadelyn007(f), ezeagu(m), Blyss, jossyola11(m), الملكي فوق الله, RedReact and 27 guest(s)


....... wink
Re: African Men V. African Women by Blyss: 6:49pm On Dec 24, 2012
الملكي فوق الله: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Viewing this board: freecocoa(f), Jessicavizzy(f), Sir suky, jadelyn007(f), ezeagu(m), Blyss, jossyola11(m), الملكي فوق الله, RedReact and 27 guest(s)
cl

....... wink

Two very good topics, I wish more responded to them. Actually to tell you the truth, they also contradict the claims of me being a supremacist that several seem to hold of me around here, what kind of supremacist would speak in a non-negative way about coupling with those whom they feel superior to?

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Yoruba Words And Expressions With No Synonyms In The English Language / Damuwan Na Arewa?ku Yi Magana. / Calabar Women Awareness.

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