The below story was related in the year 2013. Please read and learn especially ladies......

I do hope the story I am about to share with you inspires you especially women. Many women have that believe that we can't do without a man financially speaking and we sometimes make the mistake of becoming overly dependent on a man, this mistake should never be made especially in this century we find ourselves in. Here is my story.

I will refer to myself as Chioma. I was born and bred in one of the villages in the Eastern part of Nigeria and my family was very poor. I had parents who put it in my heart that to make it in life, I had to marry a rich man who will also help raise the family up, that was the mind set I had right from my childhood days. I come from a large family and back in the days it was hell and as the first child of my family it became imperative that I married a rich man.

At the age of 16 I finished my secondary school education and before then I had a suitor coming, he was the 32 year old son of a wealthy village chief back in the village and the agreement was that we would get married immediately I was done with secondary school. To my family a 'Messiah' had arrived. Well we did get married as soon as I left secondary school and for my family, life improved. My father built his first house and he was able to purchase two buses for his transport business and my mother went into trading.

In the first year of my marriage I took in and soon after,
I bore a set of twins, a boy and a girl. My husband was so happy and life was sweet, the second year of the marriage was sweeter and so were the third, fourth and fifth but as the fifth year was about wrapping up beautifully as I had hoped, things took a drastic turn. My husband of five years suddenly began to misbehave, he became an adulterer and many were the times he would bring them home and have sex with them on our matrimonial bed right under my nose, when I dared to challenge him, he would beat me black and blue. This treatment went on for almost a year without my family or his knowing, I wanted to remain the loyal wife who prayed and hoped her husband would come back to his senses especially considering the fact that I had taken in again but that was never to happen.

In our sixth year of marriage, he told me a woman had taken in for him and she was moving in with us, I told him that that was never going to happen "How dare you challenge my authority, have you now become the head of this family?" he had shouted at the top of his voice. At that point, I could take it no more, I wasn't going to allow another woman share my matrimonial home with me so off I went to report to his parents for I felt that was the wisest thing to do, so to his parents I did go, and report to them I did do and they told me they were going to summon him.

Two weeks after reporting him to his parents, my husband came home very drunk and started shouting my name right form the gate "You this stupid woman from the poorest family on earth, are you not grateful that I married you and put your poverty stricken family out of shame?" I will never forget those harsh words. Then he came into the house and a punch on my chest was what I received. "How dare you go and report me to my parents, are you mad?" That day he gave me the beating of my life and sadly, I lost my pregnancy and on my back, I have a scar that serves as a reminder of the beating I got that day.

My people, that was the beginning of hell for me, all words to reconcile us were abortive, he brought his new woman to live in the house and she began her own war with me almost immediately....the most painful part of it all was when I told my husband that I could not live under the same roof with a man I call my husband and his new woman, that I was gong to leave, he said "Chioma, nothing is stopping you from leaving with your bastard children, do you think I don't know they are not mine?" I nearly fainted when he said those words to me..."You mean children I had bore in your home are not yours?" I had asked in tears

"Yes, I know that they are not mine,do you think I have forgotten that secondary school boyfriend of yours? (I actually had a boy I was close to back in secondary school which my husband knew about but that was all, just friendship)

"I never had anything to do with him and you know it" I told him in tears

"Let this be the last time you will challenge my authority in this house, the next time you try it, you are leaving, those bastard twins are not mine, the only pregnancy you had for me was the one you lost due to your stupidity"

"I lost that pregnancy because you beat me"

"Yes I did because you stupidly had the guts to report me to my parents"

"I never knew you were such a selfish man, I cause the day I married you" I had said to him and as usual, I had received the beating of my life and his woman also joined in beating me and that day, I and my twins were thrown out of the house and back to my parents house we went empty handed. My father wasn't really sympathetic towards my situation because he believed I was disrespectful to my husband and stupidly allowed another woman to take my matrimonial home but it hurt me that he was more concerned about not benefiting from my husband as he used to. My mother was very encouraging and was happy I had come out of there alive.

My village is a very small one and news spread like wild fire, I hadn't been back to my parents' up to three weeks when a very wealthy woman who came visiting her parents in the village heard my story and came looking for me. She was very sympathetic and told me she had past through a similar situation but she never gave up. she asked me what I could do and I told her nothing since I had not learnt a skill and neither had I furthered my education. She asked if I was interested in becoming a fashion designer and I said yes without thinking. Then she told me she had a friend who owned a very big fashion school in one of the big cities in Nigeria and she would sponsor me there.

So that was how I left the village to one of the big cities in Nigeria, the woman gave me a small room in her BQ to manage, there I stayed with my kids who were by then almost seven years old. My sponsor also put them in school. That woman was so lovely(she is late now) I ran a two year course in fashion designing and I specialized in sewing all of women's wears including wedding gowns.When I was done, I did my IT in one of the fashion houses in the city I had done my course and afterwards, I was retained because I was very good. I was there for five years and in time gathered capital to set up my own fashion business.

This story I am sharing with you happened some twenty five years ago! Yes that long ago but I believe it is worthy of inspiration. I got married in 1980 and had my twins in 1981. My marital problems began in 1988 so making twenty five years since I left my matrimonial home.

I am now 48 years of age,and I have made a name for myself in the fashion business, I have a fashion school and a fashion house and in time I ventured into other businesses and all thanks to God, I am a very independent woman able to buy anything I want for myself and go anywhere I wish to go to in the world.

I know you might be wondering 'how about her twins?' Yes that is the most beautiful part of it, I gave them the education I never had. They are now 31 years of age. My daughter got married at the age of twenty five to a medical doctor who practices in Holland and she has lived there since her marriage, from her, I have got two beautiful granddaughters. My son, that boy is something else, he told me he wasn't going to get married until he had his doctorate degree. At 23 he had his first degree, at 25 his second and at 29 his third. Actually he was married in March last year and a grandchild is on the way.

Why have I decided to share my story? Its simply to inspire young ladies especially. If you are happily married now, I am happy for you but please do not be unskilled or without a profession, just try to do something because no one actually knows what the future holds and if you are skilled now or practicing a profession, please continue.

And if you are experiencing one heart ache or the other now in your marriage, do not give up, try your best to redeem your marriage but if you have tried and redemption is impossible don't become a shadow of your former self, pick up the pieces and move on, life is too short to allow yourself lie flat because of a failed marriage.

Are you seeking a mate? Please look well and never let your judgement be clouded, never have the mind set I had in my childhood days that a woman needs a rich man to make it in life, it is a terrible lie. Marry for the sake of unconditional love whether he is made or not and if the guy is nothing today don't give up on him especially if he has got good potentials, stick with him and make his tomorrow a better one and when you do, the glory will be on you the woman, no sane man ever forgets a woman who sticks with him through thick and thin.

I hope I have in one way or the other inspired you with my story, I picked up my pieces and if you are going through any situation in life now, you too can pick up the pieces my dear sisters.




Remain blessed!!!

Very inspiring

Let me tag some peeps @tonto