Domestic abuse, verbally or practically with punches, slap, belt...on women, is one thing too much in our society this days. We only heard of Dike and other celebrities because of their state of fame. They are few in a millions of women who suffer hell in the hands of their husbands in Nigeria and across the world. Those who cannot bear it run for their lives, those who stood to endure; some lose their lives, some are dead in themselves, others had developed strange diseases. To the men, who abuse their wives, I say to you, you are not man enough .A man, man enough does not control his homes by slaps or punches, he simply does with love and self discipline. Well, I call on our mothers in Israel, who have family ministry to do more, orientating the men that, beating a woman makes them more of a weakling. I do not blame much of those people, the fault is sometimes from the beginning. You must be prepared, well prepared before you go into marriage.
Let us look at some points,

Before you go into marriage
-The power of identification.
Because many of us are so far away from self, we permit just anybody to make a mockery of our woman pride. If you are close to yourself and you know who you are, you will surely know the type of man that suit your life. Making a choice is no pride, it is simply knowing what you want and going for it. The hype, the level we claim, sometimes make us far from the reality of who we are, this freely lead us into the hands of men who do not have honour for us. Know yourself  and go for the kind of man that will do your life good. He may not be as rich as you are, if you will humble yourself in love, you will have the peace and love you need.
      Those of you, who marry men because of wealth or fame, you make mistake of your lives. Some of those guy have wrong mindset about women, this make them a very wring choice for you. You matter, do not allow society or 'class' to push you wrong, a simple choice of a good and gentleman is not too much, you deserve happiness.

-Courtship
If he escape your self test, he should not escape courtship test. Court for real, not this sunrise in the midnight courtship people go about doing. Still being yourself, get to truly know the man and who he is. This Mr. Biggs courtship, no go work, the deceit courtship, no go work. Even if he gives you heaven and earth, do not forget he matters. Instead of first taking the gifts that will that will block your tongue, tell him to reveal himself to you, show you, his true self. He should be your top, the main person you need. Examine, does he fit or not? That you are a woman should not cripple your sense of choice, just 'be temperate in all things' He is the one you give your head to crown it, he should not be a crown of thorns. Before the I do, the opening of skirt, the zipping of trousers, know him. Does his way go with yours? Can he in himself make you happy without those attachments? His attitudes, will they aid your life or mar it? If he gives himself to you, he will not hide himself, both his weaknesses and strengths. If he show you these and you sure you can go on, go with him. If not, take the big turning. He may not be good for you but be the best for another. Make a firm life decision.
     The courtship of material gift to entice women to marry him, result in hot marriage. Use the time of courtship well, it is for  both of you to know each other well.

-Never forget your vision and dreams.
If the man you are dating does not believe  in women rising to fame, he will kill your vision if you give him the chance. That is what I guess is the problem with the some men marrying our celebrities, they have inner fear they cannot confess, 'Will she ride me, she famous, she is rich, she can be independent, if I don't clamp her, she may want to take ride me' So, they let their fear control their hand, trying to bring her to subjection before she rides them. Love is enough, to keep her submissive. A successful woman need a good man most. She needs people of substance in her life that will be wetting her garden as she wet other people's garden. If she knows you truly love her, she will never want to lose you. Love her and stop intimidating her because of your fear.
    If a man is not in support of your vision, don't claim love. He will kill it. So many women's destiny had been buried by the kind of men they marry, the men who had no room for woman success. If you marry one like this, you are in it, every time you try to rise, he will want to force you down.

-Did he value women.
Try to get your man's orientation about women, you will find out, if he values women or not. If he does not, there is tendency that, that will reflect in his way of behaving. No matter what you are, he does not have value for you due to his experience or background (men that come from where female children are not regarded as children) And so, he can treat you any how. His sense of value for women is very low, so he can treat you very low.

-The home he comes from.
Forget about class or title, some men have poor family orientation and they did nothing about it. They did not think of getting a better life, they go with the dreg and feed their own wives with it. If you must marry anybody, try to get to his family house and see how the parents live. See the relationship between his parents, try to get the father and know who he is. See what they think of female children in his house. If it is a home where they see female as inferior, expect such, except if he had change by exposure. If not, he will not give you a chance to speak, any attempt to proof you have something to offer will earn you a slap. Even if he is good, and his family member are bad, it is a no, no.

     Know your man one on one. All these also apply to men, many of them are crying in silence, their woman is just too simple, she bring them hurt in their soul. Hmmm, many wished they could turn back the hand of the clock, well, too late. The ones just coming take caution, yes caution and pray well. Bad spouse is hell on earth. He or she can destroy anything you carry or think of doing.

After marriage(Eph.5:22-33)
Marriage is ordain by God to better the life of Hunan not to mar it. He saw a need in Adam and he met it by Eve. The purpose of God for marriage has being abuse today, that the coming generation seems to dread the idea of marriage. They have seen either of their parents suffer in the hand of the other, they have heard the star they admire molested, they heard and seen the story of friends and foes and it is all discouraging to them. This which do scare they younger one, is bad! Well, the Bible is my standard, I will take clues from it to you.

HUSBANDS (1Pet. 3:7, Eph.5:25)
It is written 'Husbands love your wives even as Christ love the church and he gave himself for it' 'So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself'
   Husbands love your wives, deeply and truly as Christ love the church and gave the greatest gift, his life. What a love! To know the character of love, check 1Cor13:4-8. If you love your wife as this, there are so many things you are doing that you will not be doing. Your wife will be a treasure to you and you will ever value her. You will prefer to forgive her when she offends you, (she well surely do) instead of battering her.
   See this 'Ye husbands, dwell with them (wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto wives as unto weaker vessels...1Pet3:7'
True love is sufficient to keep a home, if you will chose to love your wife. I have heard a man said, 'men don't love'. I laugh! If a man does not love a woman, he will never know her worth talk less of regarding her besides such a man is missing. Whosoever have not feel love, has not feel his true self. No love, no life.

WIVES (Eph.5:22)
It is written 'Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord'
Wives submit yourself to your husbands no matter how rich, famous, educated you are. Submit in love as Sarah did unto Abraham. Submit to them in love, do not try to ride them. When you do, you try to kill the men in them and they react, slapping your head to neck.
See this, 1Pet.3:3-6. Let nothing make you a terror to your husbands, he will slap you if he does not love you or have self control. Submit to your husbands in love. You have accepted and chosen him, control your mouth, caution your self, don't be rude, do the right things at the right time. Even is you are more influential, still love him and submit to him.

Note: The submittion of a woman is not foolishness, it is  for order sake, let no one abuse it. Two people cannot head a home. A good man is enough. So husbands, honour your wife, reason with her, when you see a blessed woman as worthless, she grieves and become unhappy, sometimes, showing bad attitude.

Couples, intending couples, young men and women get it right.
Couples love each other. Husbands love your wives, do not abuse the place God as given you as the saviour of your home. Don't treat them as people of no value. Wives submit to your husbands in love. There will be offence, chose to settle all in love not blow or slaps. Beware of third party, be it anybody.
   Intending couples be truthful to each other. Sort out things in love and your marriage be stress free. Understand each other and live in love, other things will fall in place.
   Young men and women, get to know yourself and make the right choice right from the start. Marriage has either positive effect of on ones life, so choose well. Some people who were looked down upon, rose to light by the virtue of marrying a successful man. Some great potential also fell by marrying the wrong ones. Make a choice. To be made or mar. It doesn't matter whether you a man or woman, once you get it wrong, your life might go that way forever.

For all, pray to God to keep your home, give you wisdom of a good husband or wife, pray that he direct you in your marital choice.

From
www.wurana..com

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