Dear Nairalanders,I really appreciate your responses to my previous question. Please may I still ask this question,we are from the Igbo tribe,and I have my late brothers wife coming very close to me,there is no decision or actions she will take without consulting me,recently she enrolled my late brothers kids into a new school near their house and use my name as their guardian,in fact she gat lots of respect for me and have me in high esteem,seeing the way I took care of my late elder brother from when he was sick and till when he gave up the ghost and also when he was buried.I am also married with kids tho not leaving close to my family because of work,but leaving very close to my late brothers wife.As for me I hold her in high respect for the way she has been mindful of her shopping business and really looking after the kids,in fact she single handedly paid the school fees of the kids.But where I am afraid is this her closeness to me that she cannot stay without asking of me for a day or two,and whenever i visit to know how they are doing she would oblige me to pass the night.please house what do I do in this case because I am afraid I don't go across boundary, please how do I contain her persistent closeness to me,so that she doesn't look elsewhere and forget her lovely kids(my brothers children).thanks

F

Bro...ur case strong... Women can misinterpret situations.. Just b careful pls...CU's she's in a very vulnerable state of mind now

Your last sentence is confusing.

Do you want her close to you, and you don't want her to remarry so that she doesn't forget her children, or you're scared she's getting too close to you and you might start having romantic inclinations?

First of all, define your boundaries. Because she calls you everyday, and wants to stay close to her late husband's family doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you. She's probably very grateful for the support you provided for her and her children when her husband was ill and his subsequent death.
At the same time, let your wife and your family become close to her, and ocassionally visit her together . Stop sleeping there overnight. There's no problem in being close, but don't get carried away.
Sooner or later, your SIL will open her heart again to love someone else, don't deny her of the happiness. She sounds like a reasonable woman, and wouldn't allow her children suffer because of a man.
Do what you can for the children, send foodstuffs down to them. You don't have to always go there yourself. Send another member or your family there to drop foodstuff- a sister, or another brother of yours. If you want to give her money, send it directly to her account.
Don't even think of stealing from your brother's pot of soup.
Maintain your lane abeg.

you are point actually brother,but I was thinking in the Igbo culture,once someone dies especially a man,his wife then belongs to the family especially the next brother, pls you can quote me wrong,but I have seen it happen that is if the woman accepts.

Sorry do you mean she will love someone else or remarry with four kids,and leave the children for that young man who still has his own family? I think if the woman prefers to stay attached with her brother in law its her choice,since the brother in law does not make the first move.

It is better you are close to her than allowing the devourers in. If she demands for sex, she is your wife but that should not make you to forget your wife.

Lol, o baby is taking culture seriously o. OP, advise and give your blessings to her to date other men if she is lonely. Tell her she has your suppport but you think it is unfair and inappropriate for you as a married man to become so close to her. You love your wife and can't cheat on her. Lol. But stay close to your brother's kids so that another man will not just come and mess up their lives.

Whatever happens, don't chook ur prick insyd her. Me av talk my own..

Hmmmm...biko what do you mean by contain her so she doesn't look elsewhere and forget her kids? I think you are onto something here, abi you two are onto something. I will suggest you ask the rest of the family this question, let's see what they have to say.

Some culture do allow a late brother's wife be retained by marrying her to another brother within the family. Yours might be into that too... Good luck.

Karspersky:
Dear Nairalanders,I really appreciate your responses to my previous question. Please may I still ask this question,we are from the Igbo tribe,and I have my late brothers wife coming very close to me,there is no decision or actions she will take without consulting me,recently she enrolled my late brothers kids into a new school near their house and use my name as their guardian,in fact she gat lots of respect for me and have me in high esteem,seeing the way I took care of my late elder brother from when he was sick and till when he gave up the ghost and also when he was buried.I am also married with kids tho not leaving close to my family because of work,but leaving very close to my late brothers wife.As for me I hold her in high respect for the way she has been mindful of her shopping business and really looking after the kids,in fact she single handedly paid the school fees of the kids.But where I am afraid is this her closeness to me that she cannot stay without asking of me for a day or two,and whenever i visit to know how they are doing she would oblige me to pass the night.please house what do I do in this case because I am afraid I don't go across boundary, please how do I contain her persistent closeness to me,so that she doesn't look elsewhere and forget her lovely kids(my brothers children).thanks

Op, be concern about your late brothers wife and their children, continue to love respect and help them. But let it end there. Be a honourable man.

If she is still young let her marry. Stand by her, advice and encourage her to take right decisions.

always do all you can to see you don't pass the night in her home, except it can't be avoided. If you do, don't give in to the thoughts of sleeping with her even if she attempts or approach you.

I know the traditional stuff of inheriting your brothers wife. But believe me op, you won't like what you'll put yourself into.

So, best you continue to play your responsible role to the best of your ability without being selfish.

Since you say you're Igbo, I don't know If it is part of your culture to inherit your brother's wife. But it sounds somehow to me anyway.

If she gets pregnant for you and gives birth to your child what would be the relationship of that child to your own kids? Step sibling or cousin?

no go chook prik inside oo.
I think she's lonely she needs company .

maybe u can take her n d rest of the out during d weekend .

visit her with ur family too maybe once in a week.

if she wants to be greasin her engine look for young guy to help her

Sincerely, I want to ask a question to all the response above,will this woman carry four kids and go into another mans house to marry? if it happens how will the man behaviour be to the to the four kids with time especially when the woman gives birth for him.Secondly if the woman refuses to marry but get hooked to a young guy do you think she will be able to focus on her business and children very well again?and don't you think the young guy will be siphoning her money?I am of the opinion she should focus on her kids and her business which is her only source of income for now,and then be left alone to follow her mind which for now is to be deriving solace from her late husband brother who have been very concern on them,only that the husband brother should not take advantage of the woman's trust without the woman's consent.I rest my case.

My simple advice,marrying to another man with four kids who of course would not be a young man,is a no go area of course a young guy will not marry a woman with four kids when there are still lots of single ladies out there. Secondly keeping a young guy as her friend is also a no go area,cos the guy already knows he is not going to marry her in the long run,as a result will.only be siphoning the womans money and distract her from focusing on her business and children.Best bet for now is to allow the woman whom I guess is a very wise woman for sticking close to her late husbands brother not actually for anything but for care and love,which I advise the husband brother not to take advantage of without the woman's consent.but to continue to be honourable in taking care of them to the best of his ability and allow the woman to do her mind concerning him if that is what will make her focused in her business and children's life.

Mature stuff from Richy4,I think this is in line with my own suggestion.