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Wife Keep Hiding Salary - Family - Nairaland

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How Can I Tell What My Husband Is Hiding From Me? / What Secret Is My Husband Hiding? / Couples Hiding Their Earnings From Each Other, Right Or Wrong? (2) (3) (4)

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Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 4:33pm On Apr 05, 2017
Hello Nlanders,
Pls i have a case to settle before me and i will appreciate input from NL family, a wife keep hiding salary from the husband, told the husband the salary is meagre leaving the husband to cater to every family need believing the work is just to keep the wife away from home, this has been going on for quite a while ( over a year before the husband got to know). She stopped working when they got married about 4 yrs ago and started
Few months back, the husband caught the wife with a malicious text from a man she follows to work only for the wife to claim she follows the man just to save cost on transport that she never knew the man has utterior motive. The husband stopped her from joining the man and incraese her transport allowance. now finding out that her salary can actually cater to her needs and even support the husband, what do you think is the right punishment for such ill? Though the husband has planned to discontinue the marriage.
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 4:43pm On Apr 05, 2017
If this is not your case why are you drinking paracetamol for another person's headache
.

learn how to mind your business jorr. ..
.

5 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by byvan03: 4:44pm On Apr 05, 2017
I will need a breakdown of the domestic chores this man helps his wife with before I can comment.

8 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 4:48pm On Apr 05, 2017
Why should he discontinue the marriage cos of ordinary salary issue? knowing fully well that most married women don't disclose their salary.



Its his work as the head of the family to cater for his family's need so he shouldn't be complaining.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by ElSherriff: 4:48pm On Apr 05, 2017
The person above me is your wife's sibling. Hold her accountable. Next, dont send her packing, withdraw all your support for her till she understands the place of honesty in marriage. Bloody blood sucking witch.

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Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 4:56pm On Apr 05, 2017
He should sit her down and talk to her with a serious,.open mind, after that he can make his decision

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Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by cuedish: 5:03pm On Apr 05, 2017
ToriBlue:
Why should he discontinue the marriage cos of ordinary salary issue? knowing fully well that most married women don't disclose their salary.



Its his work as the head of the family to cater for his family's need so he shouldn't be complaining.


it's no problem when husband use hid money for family upkeep,school fees,rent and bills while the wife will use hers to build house secretly?

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Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:16pm On Apr 05, 2017
She must repay all the amount ever paid to her, and when she does, surprise her with divorce proceedings... Such deceitful wife is a liability to any union.

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Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 5:24pm On Apr 05, 2017
byvan03:
I will need a breakdown of the domestic chores this man helps his wife with before I can comment.


No domestic chores involved since househelp and nanny is responsible for all the chores, weekends the husband mops the floor since thatz too hard for the wife to do. He allowed the wife to work cos she complained of boredom and the need to exercise her brain.
She hardly cook and the husband pardoned her for that cos she leaves very early and gets home late (though the husband is not the food type, he trives mostly on bread and pasteries have no issues with that)

2 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by byvan03: 5:28pm On Apr 05, 2017
YemyTemmy:



No domestic chores involved since househelp and nanny is responsible for all the chores, weekends the husband mops the floor since thatz too hard for the wife to do. He allowed the wife to work cos she complained of boredom and the need to exercise her brain.
She hardly cook and the husband pardoned her for that cos she leaves very early and gets home late (though the husband is not the food type, he trives mostly on bread and pasteries have no issues with that)


If this is true, then she is unreasonable. The man should let her take care of herself with her money and stop enabling her by footing transport bills. He can't punish her without appearing irresponsible as she is not a kid. Let him do his part as a man and leave the rest. Leave the house girls salary for her to pay.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 5:35pm On Apr 05, 2017
There is obviously zero trust or a breakdown of same. I know some ladies who would come on here and say "why is he bothered with her salary, it's a duty of the man to be the breadwinner of the home".
IMHO, that argument is as impotent as a eunuch.
True that the man is the head of the home and should strive to cater for his family needs, but it also takes a good wife to recognise the limits of her husband and provide assistance where necessary.
That said, if a woman hides her salary from her husband, it's either he is irresponsible with finances (by her judgement) or there is no love between them.

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by sisisioge: 5:36pm On Apr 05, 2017
grin grin grin


Even wife dey scam husband now, how much more Ponzi and Nigerians. Biko no vex. I will suggest the husband communicate his disappointment about her deceit to her. Its really not her fault, a lot of women are yet to see the memo that states finance is no longer a one-sided show in a marriage. Its now a joint venture. No need to think about punishment, just talk to her. Bring all the cards to the table.

By the way, hope you know her money is still technically hers, she's just going to help you with obligations here and there. I had to add that in case you begin to propose major financial responsibilities for her. Na you still go win bread, she go just help you with jam or butter or even ketchup if you groove it wink. It is well.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 5:41pm On Apr 05, 2017
sisisioge:
grin grin grin


Even wife dey scam husband now, how much more Ponzi and Nigerians. Biko no vex. I will suggest the husband communicate his disappointment about her deceit to her. Its really not her fault, a lot of women are yet to see the memo that states finance is no longer a one-sided show in a marriage. Its now a joint venture. No need to think about punishment, just talk to her. Bring all the cards to the table.

By the way, hope you know her money is still technically hers, she's just going to help you with obligations here and there. I had to add that in case you begin to propose major financial responsibilities for her. Na you still go win bread, she go just help you with jam or butter or even ketchup if you groove it wink. It is well.

she was not even ready to help the guy with ordinary purewater, let alone ketchup, yet keep demanding...she jokinly said it that the guy has money nah

3 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by sisisioge: 5:44pm On Apr 05, 2017
YemyTemmy:


she was not even to help the guy with ordinary purewater, let alone ketchup, yet keep demanding...she jokinly said it that the guy has money nah

You see! They need to talk. They need to bring both their books to the table cos the babe seems to overestimate their worth.
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by SirVintageCock: 6:53pm On Apr 05, 2017
YemyTemmy:


she was not even ready to help the guy with ordinary purewater, let alone ketchup, yet keep demanding...she jokinly said it that the guy has money nah
you spoiled her during courtship, so why crying foul? Your eyes don dey clear small small......
You've been puSsy wiped for so long.
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 7:02pm On Apr 05, 2017
byvan03:



If this is true, then she is unreasonable. The man should let her take care of herself with her money and stop enabling her by footing transport bills. He can't punish her without appearing irresponsible as she is not a kid. Let him do his part as a man and leave the rest. Leave the house girls salary for her to pay.


The point is this, when she was given little support, she keeps following a man to work, and the husband got a malicious conversation between her and the man, she ave the excuse of saving cost, thatz when the man increased her allowances believing, it will stop her from following the man to work, but still follow the man according to the wifes confession when confronted
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by eyinjuege: 7:37pm On Apr 05, 2017
Which kin marriage be that?

You don't know your wife's salary, she doesn't know your own?
How can you plan together as a couple?
Of what use is her working if she's not contributing anything to the home?
Please, its time you guys start planning your finances together.
If her salary is useless in the home, she might as well be a full time housewife.( Btw, I have serious respect for housewives of the regular Joe on the street who's still yet to hammer because their work for the home na die, especially with no maid, no nanny, no cook. No rest 24/7, no break/holidays)
How can a full grown adult be looking for freebies about? When will she then ever be responsible for herself?
She no dey pay rent, she no dey drop money for food, she still dey collect pocket money from you. Please when will she ever become a grown up?
I know its quite annoying especially since the husband helps around the home, still tries to solely provide for the family and she's been watching him struggle over and over again with money matters.
She's not a good woman, sorry to say.
But, I don't think its enough grounds to abandon the marriage.
Its just time to renegotiate. Time to share responsibilities, and who's handling what expense. If she's not ready to share the home expenses, then be ready for more drastic measures.

3 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by eyinjuege: 7:45pm On Apr 05, 2017
sisisioge:
grin grin grin


Even wife dey scam husband now, how much more Ponzi and Nigerians. Biko no vex. I will suggest the husband communicate his disappointment about her deceit to her. Its really not her fault, a lot of women are yet to see the memo that states finance is no longer a one-sided show in a marriage. Its now a joint venture. No need to think about punishment, just talk to her. Bring all the cards to the table.

By the way, hope you know her money is still technically hers, she's just going to help you with obligations here and there. I had to add that in case you begin to propose major financial responsibilities for her. Na you still go win bread, she go just help you with jam or butter or even ketchup if you groove it wink. It is well.

I really don't believe that women cannot handle major financial responsibilities. It sounds nice if a man can do everything, but seriously, I believe we all should be accountable to one another.
The person with the higher earning power does more naturally, and that can be the woman.
However, one has to apply sense in everything. I don't expect a woman to be footing the bills while the man goes about town drinking and forming big boy with his own money, neither do I expect a man to be footing all the bills while the woman is doing slay queen about town, wearing the latest weaves and clothes in town, and the husband hasn't changed his 5 shirts in years.
That's wrong on all levels.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by sisisioge: 7:54pm On Apr 05, 2017
eyinjuege:


I really don't believe that women cannot handle major financial responsibilities. It sounds nice if a man can do everything, but seriously, I believe we all should be accountable to one another.
The person with the higher earning power does more naturally, and that can be the woman.
However, one has to apply sense in everything. I don't expect a woman to be footing the bills while the man goes about town drinking and forming big boy with his own money, neither do I expect a man to be footing all the bills while the woman is doing slay queen about town, wearing the latest weaves and clothes in town, and the husband hasn't changed his 5 shirts in years.
That's wrong on all levels.

True...very true, but the memo hasn't still gone round yet. In fact, the memo seen is selectively seen. In Naija, the man is still the daddy wa. He takes the lion share regardless of whose pay is higher. Wonder why women are embittered when they have to sort major bills while the man is around? That's because even in the memo na helper them call us grin

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 10:17am On Apr 06, 2017
olrotimi:
There is obviously zero trust or a breakdown of same. I know some ladies who would come on here and say "why is he bothered with her salary, it's a duty of the man to be the breadwinner of the home".
IMHO, that argument is as impotent as a eunuch.
True that the man is the head of the home and should strive to cater for his family needs, but it also takes a good wife to recognise the limits of her husband and provide assistance where necessary.
That said, if a woman hides her salary from her husband, it's either he is irresponsible with finances (by her judgement) or there is no love between them.

The guy isnt irresponsible with money from my judgement, asside office work, he has several business outfit he manages and that makes him very busy making ends meet..the wife sees all of these and feel, the guys struggle is for family spending not minding the guys plan or target

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by nnamdibig(m): 10:56am On Apr 06, 2017
You give your wife transport to work yet she hides the salary from you and someone here said most women hide their salary(which is a big fat lie). That her salary no get transport, wardrobe & feeding allowance?

Some people really don't understand the meaning of honesty and openness in marriage.

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by dedons: 1:09pm On Apr 06, 2017
Afonja women sef...

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Acidosis(m): 1:35pm On Apr 06, 2017
The woman is f00lish...


Send her back to her father's house.

1 Like

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 5:29pm On Apr 06, 2017
nnamdibig:
You give your wife transport to work yet she hides the salary from you and someone here said most women hide their salary(which is a big fat lie). That her salary no get transport, wardrobe & feeding allowance?

Some people really don't understand the meaning of honesty and openness in marriage.

Not today if anything most prepare for things like this how to deceive their husbands. Trust and being open is old school. This is new marriage lifestyle taking advantage of the other smiley
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 5:31pm On Apr 06, 2017
ToriBlue:
Why should he discontinue the marriage cos of ordinary salary issue? knowing fully well that most married women don't disclose their salary.



Its his work as the head of the family to cater for his family's need so he shouldn't be complaining.

Yep pending he loses the job then the useless husband can suffer the consequences of not keeping up with being a man. smiley
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 7:05pm On Apr 06, 2017
pcguru1:


Not today if anything most prepare for things like this how to deceive their husbands. Trust and being open is old school. This is new marriage lifestyle taking advantage of the other smiley
Hiding money by women isn't new-school. It's as old as man grin

I strongly disagree with the poster that said most married women hide money. She is probably not married, lots of women go the extra miles to contribute to their homes. Including bringing their own share of contributions from work.

Some hide their money too, no one wants to contribute to family projects (e.g) building of house, only to be told it's the MAN'S HOUSE. She gets pushed out when things get rough...
That's the fear of lots of women. Some also believe the man would become more laid back if he knows their actual financial strength.

They all have their reasons, it doesn't make it right though(but then _right is subjective). If I can't trust my spouse with finance, I wonder what we're doing together. It isn't a woman thing either, a thread on NL showed that lots of men also don't believe in financial transparency.

Op, this isn't a reason to divorce, if it is _ a good percentage(%) of Nigerian marriages would crash. By the time we add infidelity and DV... God knows what figure we would get.
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 7:20pm On Apr 06, 2017
pcguru1:


Yep pending he loses the job then the useless husband can suffer the consequences of not keeping up with being a man. smiley




wife can be without work and live with husband for 10 years, but husband wont survive 10 months without work..he will be tagged useless, marriage seems to be overrated truely
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Nobody: 7:30pm On Apr 06, 2017
YemyTemmy:





wife can be without work and live with husband for 10 years, but husband wont survive 10 months without work..he will be tagged useless, marriage seems to be overrated truely
Husband can live 100 years without entering kitchen, bathing the kids, going to the market, washing, sweeping, cooking...but most wives won't survive 3days only without doing these things. She would be tagged very very useless!!!!

In short, don't dare table her matter on NL, they will tell you to divorce her! Uncle, we all have roles that rests on each gender in a family unit. As it is now, this woman no follow. grin

2 Likes

Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by YemyTemmy: 8:09pm On Apr 06, 2017
Acidosis:
The woman is f00lish...


Send her back to her father's house.

thatz the man's resolution despite all persuation... he felt the trust cant come back again no matter how hard he tries
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by jashar(f): 8:14pm On Apr 06, 2017
ToriBlue:
Why should he discontinue the marriage cos of ordinary salary issue? knowing fully well that most married women don't disclose their salary.



Its his work as the head of the family to cater for his family's need so he shouldn't be complaining.

Abeg. No vex on top this my kweshun ooo.

Why the dickens wouldn't a married woman, or a married couple for that matter be hiding salaries from each other?

Why?
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by Theoigios(m): 8:53pm On Apr 06, 2017
This is what happens when you marry the bone of your flesh and not the bone of your bone.
Re: Wife Keep Hiding Salary by MummyIMadeIt: 11:41pm On Apr 06, 2017
Husby:: lemme spare wifee the stress
Wifee:: thank you honey
Husby:: don't woory i would foot our bills
Wifee:: oo darling thats why you're the best


ONLY IF HUSBY KNEW THAT THE CASE IS THE OPPOSITE grin

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