I was returning to Akwa Ibom from Owerri last week and I boarded an AKTC 14 seater bus... with 3persons per seat. And there was this very light skinned, fleshy and quite attractive girl that sat close to me. As a matter of fact, she was sitting in d middle of I and a guy. (well, she had to sit in d middle cos that was where her seat no fell). I actually noticed a lot about her because of d very pleasant fragrance she was putting on. Boy! She smelled gooood. And somehow, I was planning to ask her d name of d perfume or cologne she was putting on.
We had not even traveled quarter of our journey, and she had started showing herself.
" Biko, beb, adjusti tu". I looked at her and searched her face if she was actually talking to me. And she repeated, " just shift a little". And then I asked " Shift to where"?. I was practically clung to d window. So where I wan come shift go. So the other guy sitting besides her said, " but this seat is spacious enough to make every1 comfortable na". The look she gave the guy eh, Chei!.
Few minutes after that, she brought out her fones ( I wouldn't know d make, because d fones were covered with pink and purple phone cases, with plenty of "mickymouses" designs... like say d phones they contend for beauty pageant). And then she made a call with d purple mickey mouse phone " honey, na wa 4 u o. U cannot even call to know if I've enter a bus sef"... and d recipient said something from d other end. Then she continued, " Biko, send turum credit MTN, anom on d way". This same lady saw a girl selling recharge cards but instead she chose to buy Orbit gum and Lacasera ( that she drank noisily). After d call, she now brought out a pink pouch tablet (also with designs; the girl must be a designer and obviously she wanted us to notice that). I think d girl has a thing 4 pink and purple colours because her fixed nails were designed with pink,purple and black nail polish.
Then she began... krrrrrrkrrrrkrrrkrrrkrrrrrrrrrrrkrrrrr; it was d sound of her laughter ( the sound was that of an ATM dispensing cash). Haba! I turned and looked at her... she was chatting!. Obviously she saw d way I looked at her. Probably that prompted her to do more so d thing go pain me wella. She brought out her chewing gum... and started chewing noisily... kprakonkprakon like one Ariaria broken record.
She continued chatting, chewing and chuckling like a wet pigeon. At a point, she laughed very loudly and said; " Chei! umu nwoke di kwa iberibe o". That turned a lot of eyes towards her. But d girl obviously no send anybody. She continued with her gum and kept chuckling and chatting. Then she made a call with her 9inches tablet( I wonder how someone can make a call with that stuff, without a headset and not feel stupid), and mind you, she has an earpiece. And the call went thus;
The girl: " Beb, how far na, u sef no fit call me sef. "
Her frnd (shouting like one town cryer): ewwwoooo, nne, Biko no vex o, ka'ebi ino"?
The call went on 4 some minutes. It's not like I was eavesdropping. I couldn't help it cos d girl, her friend and d phone were very loud. D call ended with " hapu ndi umu nwoke, ancha di stupid, I go gist u wen I enter Uyo".
The girl was so annoying that I had to ignore her and keep myself occupied with my thoughts. I started thinking, when a girl says men her stupid, what does she actually mean? Two things came to my mind;
It's either the girl is stupid that she gets to meet with stupid men alot; or
She's met a lot of stupid men, that have influenced her with stupidity. In other words, if one keeps meeting stupid people, then I think d problem is from d person.
At a point, the girl made a lot of calls and asked for recharge card from almost all d callers. Now who seem more stupid?
I hated the fact that she termed all men "stupid". That was a very shallow way of drawing conclusions. Men are really a wonderful set of species. A real man will give you back exactly what u throw at him... (I'm not an expert when it comes to men, but most of my friends are men). So the little I have to say about them, will be said.
The type of men that I know will actually not force u to do whatever u don't want to do. These type respect women. These type are not stupid.
But then if you become "stupid" with a man, he will not only become stupid with u, he might go as far as making his friends become stupid with u, his friends' friends become more stupid with u... and den u it becomes a circle of stupid men, of which u r stuck in d middle. You probably don't av a chance of breaking this circle. U r stuck with this set of men. These are d only men u see everyday and then call all men stupid, cos these r d only set of men you've ever known.
And so when a stupid man chats with you and tells you the stupid things he wants to do to you, u ll stupidly chuckle like a spoilt car and stupidly take ur stupid self to him...
After you'll come nd say " all men are stupid".
Eeediats!

www.peacedike.com

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U too sef like amebo. Wetin hold u 4rm watching film or playing music on your phone. All dat one "din consign" me right now

So you copied the story or it happened to you?

ElsonMorali:
So you copied the story or it happened to you?

I don't copy stories... All of my write-ups are my stories. Either imaginative or from experience. This one is from experience. Long talk, abi?

wozniacki:


I don't copy stories... All of my write-ups are my stories. Either imaginative or from experience. This one is from experience. Long talk, abi?

Not Really. I actually read everything.

The link you posted was what got me wondering.

ElsonMorali:

Not Really. I actually read everything.
The link you posted was what got me wondering.

Oh! that's my blog. I have stories like that there too.

wozniacki:


Oh! that's my blog. I have stories like that there too.

Oh Really! I'll check it out.

One more thing though, spacing out your write up will make it easier on the eye, therefore easier to read. (Apologies for the unsolicited advice)

ElsonMorali:


Oh Really! I'll check it out.

One more thing though, spacing out your write up will make it easier on the eye, therefore easier to read. (Apologies for the unsolicited advice)

Noted... #thumbsup#

wozniacki:


Noted... #thumbsup#

Lovely write up rarely do people express or describe sounds that the subjects were making. Will read more on your blog. Good work

pcguru1:


Lovely write up rarely do people express or describe sounds that the subjects were making. Will read more on your blog. Good work

Thank you.