brightalo17:



As for calling mods the guilty woman knows it better. hope you get already made moniker?

If the guilty woman needed to call the mod on her, she would have done that from the onset. I guess she called the mod on her and on herself?.

Jelal0007:
I was actually enjoying this thread until u did 2 silly things; 1st was quoting the entire thread. Madam grow some brain and know there's a reply button up there. 2nd,in the village where u come from, where does 'anoda man's food is anoda man's posion' fit in here? If u have notin sensible,abeg shataaap.

I v a reason for sayin it,likewise hw u v ur reasons to post...Mr knw it all.

Benignasweety:
Yea we are happy together but when he chooses to be mean, he can be very mean and wicked dat u will forget you once had happy moments...

My dear please why not remove your facebook name from nairaland. Please no matter what your marriage is saying now, just know is a test which will pass sooner than you expected. Therefore, keep your privacy.

Forgive her, you can love someone you don't trust that's okay, after all TRUST only GOD, don't trust anybody.

Easy to condemn the OP , hard to advise him too .

I see a lot of people taking shots at the dude ... I see a lot of people advising him too . Honestly he deserves both .

I believe dude is going through hell right now ...you have to be in a bad marriage to know what he is going through right now .

I pray this never happens to anyone here . I would not wish that on my worst enemy .

As someone with a background in law and almost haven been a similar scenario ...I would say bro ... move out of your house if you can for now . Just a take a couple of weeks off and breathe .

I do not know what you do for a living but this is going to affect your work .If you are self employed do not let go of your business ...if you are an employee do not loose your job over this .

Even if you opt to divorce ...it will take a couple of years dissolve your marriage .

I can promise you that if you have hope and believe in yourself you will shine at the end of your story .

Granted there will be days when you feel like dying but my brother don't give up on yourself .

PM me if you need to talk my dude .

Sorry this had to happen to you .

Let us try and encourage this man ... We as naira landers let's show love . For we know he might be suicidal . I pray not .

I stand with you . Love and respect .

NgoziOkoli:
This one too want to be forming love doctor. Iranu!

u r simply stupid.

Bros, I done mumu like this b4 o. Bt I thank God I come out early. U can still do something. That's if u can picture what u r missing in d arms of another woman that's meant for u. Sorry sha.

Bro....I am really sorry about your situation..
Truth is....like some others have already said.....you saw the signs and still want ahead....
True..no one is perfect....we all have our flaws..
But there are some flaws..you just can not cope with....
I was once very much in love too.....I had girl who found it difficult to say sorry when she was wrong..
A girl who was an expert at pointing out my flaws...but when I corrected her on hers..she would flare up like gasoline..
And to make matters worse...anytime we quarrel..she would recite all my previous transgressions off hand as if she was reading it from a slate....
I decided I could not cope and broke off the relationship after 3 years....better a broken relationship than broken marriage..
..
Bro...since you are married already.....I advise you to pray and pray without ceasing...!.....
Divorce is not an option Bro!

nkemdi89:
Look at the way most of the ladies are quick to blame him but it's common, having two men in which the one you love doesn't really love you much, while the one you don't love is madly in loving with you. Ladies pray and fast for the former to propose( which will never work) while the latter will. The bottom line is that they accept the latter proposal out of the refusal of the former to propose. She will grow to love you, just continue to remain good, with time she will find out the other man will only be her ex and nothing more.

lol so ladies dey cheat like this and y'all will prolly be fucking the two dudes. chai!!! make i hear when one mum woman will be like " cheating is not our weakness"

robotix:
lmaooooo. Chop sleep and movies? Aren't you going any place like visiting that special "somebody"?

Ehn nah, na that one sure pass this weekend

special somebody stays in another state .

robotix:
this is not a case of olosho bro. If na olosho, she for dey fork different dicks. It's just a case of a woman not loving a man.

He is just there for the "Mrs" title. I don't forgive people who play on my intelligence. I don't! You can commit any other crime against me BUT when it seems you played on my intelligence, you are a gunnnnneeeeerrr. QED.

@Olubee22, how was your night? Hope you slept well? Omo da da, Omo to bi re (hope I go I spoke it well?) lol.

Hi robotix, It's not a direct interpretation it's just a cliché used to describe bad-mannered or dangerous ladies who put on the form of angels to deceive men.

Benignasweety:
What if itz a man doing d opposite to his wife and she has just a child, watz ur advice? Am going tru somethinh very similar and it hurts...

quit NO ONE DESERVES AN UNHAPPY LIFE.. how do y'all endure rubbish from pple who obviously dont love you??

I guess she also have a consience for her to go through your phone ,she think you are also double dating but now you figure this out.if you divorce her that doesn't asure you,u will see someone better than her because, girls of nowadays hehehe .I think you have a knife to use against her now.

bayocanny:

I'm unable to send a pm, could you pls do that for me by sending a pm to me

Done, check your mail

Op you shot yourself in the foot. just pray for her and visit a Christian marriage counsellor for further direction.forgive her if she's willing to re-trace her steps.

Divorce that bitch fam. She ain't loyal.

chukagates:
quit NO ONE DESERVES AN UNHAPPY LIFE.. how do y'all endure rubbish from pple who obviously dont love you??

Becuz at a point in your life, dey once deceived u that u re loved...

Godchild2015:


My dear please why not remove your facebook name from nairaland. Please no matter what your marriage is saying now, just know is a test which will pass sooner than you expected. Therefore, keep your privacy.

My facebook name has nothing to do with my problems.., Am selling greenlife herbal products. Thank you.

Is your wife Indonesian woman?. They 're the only set of women that no matter how they wrong you, you must be the one to say
sorry. Lol... Please don't ever contemplate of a divorce because as you may know, divorce is like an amputation, you survives it but
can never be complete again. Also, try to forgive her because best union is between two best forgivers!!!...

Benignasweety:
My facebook name has nothing to do with my problems.., Am selling greenlife herbal products. Thank you.

Alright then.

op I will advice u to let her go....but if u can't let her call the guy in ur present that he is destroying her marriage and she should delete his number on her phone. but the best option is take her back to her people, it is not easy to forgive and forget. my thought.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Stop being a sissy.

You were one and is still one.

Splinz:


Since she's remorseful and willing to change, please, e jo, mbok, forgive and forget.

We're all humans after all. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Can she change her tribal mark too?

You are in the wrong vehicle, sure of getting to your destination?





Best of LUCKY!

hmmmn bros! God is ur muscle. I dedicate this song to you * too late too late too late tutumber(5x)

Babysheart:


Stop being a sissy.

You were one and is still one.

hahahaha....One ke?they are 3

Alwaystruth:
Is your wife Indonesian woman?. They 're the only set of women that no matter how they wrong you, you must be the one to say
sorry. Lol... Please don't ever contemplate of a divorce because as you may know, divorce is like an amputation, you survives it but
can never be complete again. Also, try to forgive her because best union is between two best forgivers!!!...

who actually needs forgiveness here?is d man or d woman or both?

andrejoe:
Forgive her, you can love someone you don't trust that's okay, after all TRUST only GOD, don't trust anybody.

how do u survive in a marriage without trust?

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Trust me. You saw the signs but chose to be blinded by "love/list"... Love sucks!!!

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Trust me. You saw the signs but chose to be blinded by "love/lust"... Love sucks!!!

Benita27:
You saw these signs from when you were dating her but ignored them just because you loved her and went on to marry her...Don't be stupid in love! A spouse who can't apologise for her wrongs even when she's aware she's wrong isn't worth keeping. Were you expecting a change?, from a doormat bf to a doormat husband.

u harsh but u spoke d bitter honest truth

Divorce sounds like an easy solution to many. Well I dont think you should rush to divorce yet.
First, Try to find out as much as u can about the "other guy" Give him a good warning lesson (probably in form of organized beating of his life - u can get ur guys or hire boys to do this for you, give them specific instructions not to kill him).
Second, relocate to a place that is far from the reach of that "other guy" so he wont find it easy to reach ur wife henceforth.
Third, take her phone, wipe all her facebook friends (social media) contacts, delete the "other guy" phone numbers. Then drop her phone in water overnight
Fourth, warn her that the next time she communicates with the wife-snatcher guy, u will break her head, then report yourself to police.
Brother, you need to take charge now, no room for more dulling or fear-fear.
Why lose your marriage just like that? and the worse part is to lose it along with your pride.
Your marriage can still work. and besides, you wont be able to ever love another woman like her, so you need to make some changes bro.

BTW, if she has got kids for you, then those advising you divorce have no idea what they are telling you.