The Yorubas have something they call Bisi fimu finle. In modern times, such is called a Spy. This spy is usually hired by the family of the groom; the family of the bride hire theirs as well. This spy makes findings about the family of the other party. The findings most times reveal certain things which can deter the union. These findings could be defects (albinism, mental illness, dwarfism), dirtiness, bad neighborhood record etc. In the revelation of such, if both families still decide to go ahead in join their children together, of course with the children’s consent, then the children will brace up for the expected cos they already have knowledge of it. For example, a man who is well aware of the history of mental illness in the family of his wife to be will hardly bail out of a marriage with her if she suddenly becomes mentally ill.

To avoid ending up in a marriage with someone with unwanted qualities, it is advisable to hire a spy who will monitor everything about that person before you tie the knot. Whatever the spy finds will be tabled before your family members who will advice you on what step to take.

A lady who is about to marry might discover that the husband to be drinks heavily, smokes or even womanizes. If the spy relays such info to the family of the bride to be, that can make them call the relationship off cos they won’t want their daughter to have a sorrow-filled marriage. A man on the other hand can discover that his soon to be wife has a past in prostitution, promiscuity or has done multiple abortions.

If the about to be married child insists on going ahead with the marriage out of love or out of stupidity, then the parents might reluctantly give such a child their blessings and warn the child never to come back home crying about the issues they’ve discovered about the other partner.

Most things people complain about in the behaviour of their partner in marriage are usually things they were well aware of before the marriage. The problem with them is that they didn’t let their parents know or they made it appear to them as an harmless thing. But when a spy is hired, no matter how harmless the about to be married child paints the fowl behaviour of the partner, mostly due to being blinded by love, the account of the spy will reveal a lot. That is when the family can now pray over the situation for guidance on the next step to take.

This simple action can help expose the tendency for domestic violence, cheating, late nights, disrespect for in laws, abuse and other fowl behaviour that can be masked away from the knowledge of a spouse during courtship. But to know such, you have to have other eyes viewing for you, cos no matter how much you think you know your partner, an outsider’s view can sometimes be better than yours. Hire a spy today so as to know the imperfection of that partner of yours. If they are things you and your parents feel you can cope with, go ahead with the marriage.

This method can be considered as one of the reasons why the rate of divorce in the past was very low and almost unheard of. I’ll like you to counter or support this method, stating reasons for your stance.

http://wotzup.ng/should-families-hire-someone-to-spy-on-the-person-their-child-is-about-to-marry/

ODI EGWU!

Yes o! Necessarily important.

Very necessary

It is called iju ese in Igbo language.

It's so sad that this generation has veered off the past cultures that ensured sanity. Parents if today have failed in that they don't know that it's is their duty to look for a lifetime partner for their child. I don't mean that they should bring someone from nowhere and force their child to marry. What I mean is that they should ensure that the person is totally right. They shouldn't base their interview on just whether the guy has a job, is educated and other things that has become normal. They need to ask pressing issues, like "has your father ever beaten your mum before?". If the boy responds yes, they should ask if it is a right thing to do. In the case of a girl, they should tell her to come with 3 of her best friends. One can get a hint of the kind of lady she is by accessing her friends.

I strongly believe that a spy Should be hired.

It is important but could breed unfair stereotype...

However, it is good for parents/guadians to know some fundamental traits of would-be partners of their wards.

TonyeBarcanista:
It is important but could breed unfair stereotype...

However, it is good for parents/guadians to know some fundamental traits of would-be partners of their wards.

cc lalaticlala

Arguably unethical but I can see why people would do it

It won't be a bad idea oo. Sincerely. The spy should not be biased though.

It would really avoid a lot of stories that touches the marrow. Really....

Very necessary. The truth is that, we are in denial. When I remarried my 2nd husband, the opportunity to find out the truth of his previous marriage was there but what I dnt knw can't harm me. He is caring to me and my kids but now tht I knw what he did to his 1st wife, I am ashamed as a woman.

It's been like that..... To avoid stories that touches the heart

Way to go.

The question is does marriage make us happy?

I support this.

It can breed unnecessary stereotyping as there is no family without a defect.

Besides, we need to stop painting our forefathers generations like they were the best thing after slice bread. Truth is that most of these forefathers are the originators of the problems that confront us today. They are as corrupt as the present day generation. Even without social media, some of them married at least 2 to 3 wives with countless concubines...some gave birth like pigs with some having at least 24 kids in a ragtag 1 or 2 bedroom apartment.

When they should have given their kids quality education, they prefer to tear faces with razor in the name of tribal marks. Apparently, the only important thing to them was tribal marks, early marriage and fornicating.

The same spy approach they deployed is the same reason some of us find it hard today to relate with other Tribe. How can you explain why an Anambra man will want to avoid an Imo woman? It is plainly because a forefather somewhere decided to disgrace himself by forcing hatred down the throats of his descendants.

If there is one person you need to observe, then that should be the person you're getting married to and the kind of relationship he/she has with his/her immediate family.

If your extended family don't have at least one person with cancer, you will have one person that suffers late marriage, early deaths, depression, albinism, liver problem, kidney problem, sleep problem, anger issues, eye problem, big stomach, dirtiness, drunkenness, fat, stinginess, failed marriage, poverty, and the list is endless.

A spy will only mal your affair cos they will dig out issues whether you expect it or not.

In sum, Intending partners should take time to understand each other without necessarily engaging the services of a spy. Engage the services of a medical personnel, check your genotype since your forefathers decided to make a f00l of themselves by labelling and cursing innocent kids with names like "Abiku".

These to me are the important issues after you both must have examined yourselves. As regards finding a family without a plague, you will only end up marrying yourself., even Buhari has a medical and corruption issue and it didn't stop the Indimis in anyway.

yup! It was standard procedure back in the day. It hindered alot of prospective couples. It was so important because there was no open courtship back then unlike what it is today.

Although I support it but there are some silly clauses back then like 'If the girl's mum was a prostitute or had extramarital affairs, it will rub off on the girl' hence a family wouldn't want their son to marry the girl.

Even with courtship these days, people don't pay attention to some important things.
People can think I'm paranoid but I will definitely find out the health and mental history of my man's family before I marry him. Also if people in his family are losers or achievers, cooperative or at loggerheads etc etc.
It might not concern me directly, but it will concern my children.

P.s, I don't need a spy. me gan gan na detective.

Joavid:
yup! It was standard procedure back in the day. It hindered alot of prospective couples. It was so important because there was no open courtship back then unlike what it is today.

Although I support it but there are some silly clauses back then like 'If the girl's mum was a prostitute or had extramarital affairs, it will rub off on the girl' hence a family wouldn't want their son to marry the girl.

Even with courtship these days, people don't pay attention to some important things.
People can think I'm paranoid but I will definitely find out the health and mental history of my man's family before I marry him. Also if people in his family are losers or achievers, cooperative or at loggerheads etc etc.
It might not concern me directly, but it will concern my children.

P.s, I don't need a spy. me gan gan na detective.

I agree with everything you said except the part where parents of old reject their son wanting to marry the daughter of a woman who was promiscuous or a prostitute. The reason is because such a woman can never instil morals in her daughter. A woman who sleeps around us shameless and can never raise a decent child. A Tiger's child will always look like a Tiger.

alBHAGDADI:
I agree with everything you said except the part where parents of old reject their son wanting to marry the daughter of a woman who was promiscuous or a prostitute. The reason is because such a woman can never instil morals in her daughter. A woman who sleeps around us shameless and can never raise a decent child. A Tiger's child will always look like a Tiger.

haba! that's not fair on the girl.
Every human knows right from wrong. Regardless of what her mum was, a child will choose her path.