... a former schoolmate of mine at University of Ibadan has the picture of her husband and a young, ravishing beauty as the screensaver of her phone.

They are cuddling.

My friend is a medical doctor. Her husband is a contractor perpetually waiting to be paid for some "government contracts."

I stared at the phone as it lay on the table of the restaurant where we were having lunch.

Puzzled and curious I asked her who she was. She smiled warmly as though suffused with pleasant memories as she rotated the wedding band and engagement ring on her finger.

"It is the smallie I got for my man."
"Smallie like a girlfriend?"

"Yes o. You know my man is a guy around town. Networking at all those 'for the big boys' night spots he visits. Me I don't have the stress for all that nightlife. And since he has refused to grow old and stay indoors and me I am tired of staying up late worrying, I decided to get someone to hold the fort outside while I handle the home front."

"What?"

"I have one life to live o, and I won't die of hypertension because I am worrying about Lagos girls snatching my husband from me. Let the smallie fight with the girls outside over him, while I sleep peacefully at home."

"What if he leaves you for her?"

"Na. He is smart. He knows she won't give him the freedom I give him and financially he knows I hold my own, even more than he does. So don't worry I have that covered. I take care of them very well."

"Men are known to do stupid things."

"I know, but look at it as polygamy. I am the first wife, she is the second. She knows that for her to keep her place, she must ensure a third wife doesn't join us."

"And if she does not?"

"I fire her."

"What if she has a child for him?"

"She can't."

"Why?"

"That's the first criteria she had to meet."

"Criteria?"

"She is medically unable to have children."

"Why?"

"Bad case of fibroids. A botched surgery. They damaged her womb."

"Oh, my."

"Yeah. I met her at the hospital when she was suicidal. I showed her there is still life after being barren. You see I am her saviour. I give her some form of a future."

"Future?... Does she work?"

"She is not enthused about brain work. A third class in English. I opened a boutique for her. Has access to my man and my money. We have a five-year agreement. Once she is 30, I cut her loose. She can do whatever she wants after that. For now, life is good for her."

"What if she gets emotionally entangled with him and can't leave?"

"Well, she can hang around and keep being the guard dog."

"Thought you said she is a second wife."

"That was just an analogy. We are Christians. Polygamy is not allowed."
Silence. I searched her face. She searched mine. Me trying to figure her out. She trying to figure me out. We both knew that a new vista had opened up in our friendship. We had crossed the Rubicon.

"Woow. I would never have thought that you had it in you to do this."

"Still waters run deep Jude, and I have learned that one must do what one can to have peace of mind."

I stared at her with a cornucopia of conflicting thoughts.

"Jude, the secret of having a wonderful and peaceful life is to first accept that life is not fair and it owes you nothing. Once you can do that, then you will be ready to do whatever it takes to make you happy."

"Are you happy?"

She took a sip from her drink and smiled at me before she leaned back with ease and asked...

"What do you think?"

-- Jude Idada

She is a Roman...

Nice story.
This part however, I believe to be true: the secret of having a wonderful and peaceful life is to first accept that life is not fair and it owes you nothing. Once you can do that, then you will be ready to do whatever it takes to make you happy.

Another joro olumofin story.




Nigerian woman go give u smallie...den $1 don turn N200.

Shioor,some alayes will still go and knock door in another compound

especially if the compound is more beautiful than the smallies own,with beautiful lawns,attractive colours,etc

men will surely be men

yomi007k:


Another joro olumofin story.
Nigerian woman go give u smallie...den $1 don turn N200

Don't be too sure dear, humans differ_women differ.
I have an acquaintance who recently went into a polygamous home. Her reason being that she loves the freedom it gives. The man can't monitor the whole wives at once, so she can run her own show. There are women with very poor sex drive that will tell the man to go outside and get it, let them rest.

I have always pitied men who think their wives looking the other way while they cheat brazenly_ is forgiveness...

Only a woman that cares about you, will be concerned about your philandering. Be very afraid of the woman that doesn't care...

This one might be false, but it happens.

I can't believe it. nah story story.

PaperLace:

Don't be too sure dear, humans differ_women differ.
I have an acquaintance who recently went into a polygamous home. Her reason being that she loves the freedom it gives. The man can't monitor the whole wives at once, so she can run her own show. There are women with very poor sex drive that will tell the man to go outside and get it, let them rest.

I have always pitied men who think their wives looking the other way while they cheat brazenly_ is forgiveness...

Only a woman that cares about you, will be concerned about your philandering. Be very afraid of the woman that doesn't care...

This one might be false, but it happens.

I quite agree with you.

@OP:

Intriguing.

I've accepted different strokes for different folks and everybody's definition of what makes marriage work is different.

If it makes her happy, negodu.

PaperLace:

Don't be too sure dear, humans differ_women differ.
I have an acquaintance who recently went into a polygamous home. Her reason being that she loves the freedom it gives. The man can't monitor the whole wives at once, so she can run her own show. There are women with very poor sex drive that will tell the man to go outside and get it, let them rest.

I have always pitied men who think their wives looking the other way while they cheat brazenly_ is forgiveness...

Only a woman that cares about you, will be concerned about your philandering. Be very afraid of the woman that doesn't care...

This one might be false, but it happens.

I was just pondering a while back that polygamy actually gives freedom that monogamy doesn't especially when all the wives are level headed enough to think straight. Wife one can go to school or pursue her business on extended periods while other women/ maids watch the kids and cares for the husband. Those even who are home all day probably rotate caring for their husbands. Most of those wives gallivanting Dubai on the excuse of buying goods must be polygamous.

In that days of old, husbands tend to have different women for different needs... a legal wife for legitimate heirs and keep the house/ a maid for housekeeping (if they were rich), a mistress/mistresses for sex and maybe another for logical stimulation.

This idea of one wife being the best cook, best home keeper, best mother, best accountant at work, bitch in bed, hottest chic in town and still be his confident seems a 'modern' concept.

I am sure that some modern wives are more stressed than their older counterparts despite the 'automation' the modern wives enjoy.

I however wonder how the olden wives satisfied themselves sexually.

Blogger's story I guess.
We are in modern times and there are open relationships now,so this is possible.
If indeed it makes the woman happy,so be it.

thorpido:
Blogger's story I guess.
We are in modern times and there are open relationships now,so this is possible.
If indeed it makes the woman happy,so be it.

@Bold,

It is more of we are in the modern times and wives want their husbands faithful.

There has always been one sided open relationships anyways.

bukatyne:


@Bold,

It is more of we are in the modern times and wives want their husbands faithful.

There has always been one sided open relationships anyways.

In the story here,it's the Lady who gave the man options.

bukatyne:


I was just pondering a while back that polygamy actually gives freedom that monogamy doesn't especially when all the wives are level headed enough to think straight. Wife one can go to school or pursue her business on extended periods while other women/ maids watch the kids and cares for the husband. Those even who are home all day probably rotate caring for their husbands. Most of those wives gallivanting Dubai on the excuse of buying goods must be polygamous.

In that days of old, husbands tend to have different women for different needs... a legal wife for legitimate heirs and keep the house/ a maid for housekeeping (if they were rich), a mistress/mistresses for sex and maybe another for logical stimulation.

This idea of one wife being the best cook, best home keeper, best mother, best accountant at work, bitch in bed, hottest chic in town and still be his confident seems a 'modern' concept.

I am sure that some modern wives are more stressed than their older counterparts despite the 'automation' the modern wives enjoy.

I however wonder how the olden wives satisfied themselves sexually.

And the husband must be handsome, rich, tough and yet gentle, determined but understanding, strong but sensitive, ......

the list continues.

Bukatyne, negodu no match thereoo .

What kind of life is this??
Can she honestly admit that she is happy??

bukatyne:


I was just pondering a while back that polygamy actually gives freedom that monogamy doesn't especially when all the wives are level headed enough to think straight. Wife one can go to school or pursue her business on extended periods while other women/ maids watch the kids and cares for the husband. Those even who are home all day probably rotate caring for their husbands. Most of those wives gallivanting Dubai on the excuse of buying goods must be polygamous.

In that days of old, husbands tend to have different women for different needs... a legal wife for legitimate heirs and keep the house/ a maid for housekeeping (if they were rich), a mistress/mistresses for sex and maybe another for logical stimulation.

This idea of one wife being the best cook, best home keeper, best mother, best accountant at work, bitch in bed, hottest chic in town and still be his confident seems a 'modern' concept.

I am sure that some modern wives are more stressed than their older counterparts despite the 'automation' the modern wives enjoy.

I however wonder how the olden wives satisfied themselves sexually.

Exactly what she said. That she can't allow one man come and kill her with chores and child bearing. I was awe struck that day, I've never seen such in my life, na 'them say...them say' I dey hear.

She said she can't survive in a monogamous home (especially one with a young husband), young men are too demanding and overbearing. So, she rather go for an elderly polygamous man and share responsibilities with co-wives.

She stays in one of his properties and travels to Dubai too
The man will think he has added another wife, he won't know this one carry her own plan come. They got married traditionally...everybody is happy.

PaperLace:

Exactly what she said. That she can't allow one man come and kill her with chores and child bearing. I was awe struck that day, I've never seen such in my life, na 'them say...them say' I dey hear.

She said she can't survive in a monogamous home (especially one with a young husband), young men are too demanding and overbearing. So, she rather go for an elderly polygamous man and share responsibilities with co-wives.

She stays in one of his properties and travels to Dubai too
The man will think he has added another wife, he won't know this one carry her own plan come. They got married traditionally...everybody is happy.

I love the ending. May they live happily ever after.