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Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? - Family - Nairaland

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Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:23am On May 09, 2017
I'm a troubled soul.

Here's my story in a concise form.


I am 27, working graduate and dating a 27 year old working graduate too. 5 months into our relationship, my girlfriend became pregnant.


She expected that I come see her people ASAP as they will lose their heads on finding out. But I'm not just ready to settle down yet... at least not until the next 2-3 years or so.

Meanwhile she has someone disturbing her ever since we started dating. The guy claims to be madly in love with her as he wants marriage according to him. Now my girl told him it can't work based on her condition and he still persisted he doesn't mind and will marry her and take care of the baby as his'.

I swore to my girl that I will never be alive and see my child growing up to think another man is its father; so she said she will have to terminate the pregnancy. After some thought, I felt guilty at the prospects of the baby losing the chance to live because of my ego and strong-headiness. So I asked her to keep the baby but I will be in its life and she agreed. But the baby will grow in the foster parent's house.


Baby will be due in January 2018 and the new guy is planning to settle down with her. I haven't told my Parents and don't think I will because they won't take it lightly as I am the only son plus my mom has been pushing me to settle down since but I don't want to rush into marriage as I will definitely rush out frustrated if I marry when I'm not yet ready to do so.


I just feel like I failed my unborn child already by denying it the opportunity to grow up properly under its father's tutelage. I really wanted to be 100% involved in any of my child's life and early development moreso my first child.


My girl said she's ready to wait till anytime I'm ready but she's a woman with a biological time ticking down furiously. I wouldn't want to waste her time really so I advised her to give the new guy a chance and eventually she will grow to love him.



Nowadays, I walk around feeling like the world is hanging on my shoulders. embarassed embarassed embarassed




Any mature advice will be immensely appreciated.




Thanks in advance.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by HungerBAD: 6:27am On May 09, 2017
My good friend.

Don't walk around with the weight of the World on your shoulder,the baby has always been his so don't feel guilty. I am sure if you have the other guy's number, he will tell you she told him the same thing too, that she is pregnant for him and there is one guy disturbing her for marriage.

Men are guilty always of underestimating the intelligence of women.

14 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by dingbang(m): 6:30am On May 09, 2017
The difference between you and the other guy who wants to marry her despite the fact she has a baby is maturity.



You are immature. And if u really want to be in dat kid's life, you fvcking man up, take up your responsibilities and marry her or forever remain a coward.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Nobody: 6:30am On May 09, 2017
Don't sweat it man. The world has a funny way of seeming heavy until you see it for what it is, a marketplace. Some are selling and some are buying while others do not know why they are there, you seem to be in the last group.

They don't give awards for being a "badt" guy and for your information child welfare services may come looking for you soon if that dude doesn't come through with his marriage proposal.

If you love her getting married to her shouldn't be a sacrifice it should be the normal thing to do.
######

1 Like

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Swissheart(f): 6:31am On May 09, 2017
Baby will be due when?

3 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:34am On May 09, 2017
Swissheart:
Baby will be due when?
January 2017
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Davash222(m): 6:38am On May 09, 2017
Ahijo1990:

January 2017
Hello oga, wake up.

5 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:38am On May 09, 2017
unclezuma:
Don't sweat it man. The world has a funny way of seeming heavy until you see it for what it is, a marketplace. Some are selling and some are buying while others do not know why they are there, you seem to be in the last group.

They don't give awards for being a "badt" guy and for your information child welfare services may come looking for you soon if that dude doesn't come through with his marriage proposal.

If you love her getting married to her shouldn't be a sacrifice it should be the normal thing to do.
######
Taking care of my child is never a problem. In fact, that's what I want.


But she insisted on keeping it or terminating it. I just decided to let the child live instead of sticking to my initial position of "I will never allow my child grow up in another man's house".


Thanks for your input sha
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Artistree: 6:38am On May 09, 2017
Op, are you living in the past?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Davash222(m): 6:39am On May 09, 2017
Are you sure you are the the father of that baby

2 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:39am On May 09, 2017
dingbang:
The difference between you and the other guy who wants to marry her despite the fact she has a baby is maturity.



You are immature. And if u really want to be in dat kid's life, you fvcking man up, take up your responsibilities and marry her or forever remain a coward.
Babies don't make marriages work out sir.


It's a bit more complicated than you berate me for.

Thanks sha for stopping by.

2 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:40am On May 09, 2017
Artistree:
Op, are you living in the past?
How?
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:41am On May 09, 2017
Davash222:
Are you sure you are the the father of that baby

Yea. At least 85% sure. From her calculations, she was with me when she took in and we had unprotected s*x for like 2 days
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by doubletroublmum(f): 6:42am On May 09, 2017
Sad story. What do you want at all?? You don't want to marry her, but at the same time you want to play a big party in your child live?? Make a decision!!! Maybe your child will grow happily with the mother and the new husband?? Let her go, if you are not ready to care for them....
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:45am On May 09, 2017
HungerBAD:
My good friend.

Don't walk around with the weight of the World on your shoulder,the baby has always been his so don't feel guilty. I am sure if you have the other guy's number, he will tell you she told him the same thing too, that she is pregnant for him and there is one guy disturbing her for marriage.

Men are guilty always of underestimating the intelligence of women.

Hmmmm!

It's plausible though.

3 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Davash222(m): 6:45am On May 09, 2017
Ahijo1990:


Yea. At least 85% sure. From her calculations, she was with me when she took in and we had unprotected s*x for like 2 days
Same as she had unprotected sex with the other guy that is madly in love with her.
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Nobody: 6:50am On May 09, 2017
Ahijo1990:

Taking care of my child is never a problem. In fact, that's what I want.

But she insisted on keeping it or terminating it. I just decided to let the child live instead of sticking to my initial position of "I will never allow my child grow up in another man's house".

Thanks for your input sha

Whichever comes first try and be in his/her life one way or the other...
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Artistree: 6:51am On May 09, 2017
Ahijo1990:
How?
Cos we're in May 2017!!!

2 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:58am On May 09, 2017
Artistree:

Cos we're in May 2017!!!
Sorry dear. 2018 I mean.


That's how far I have gone mindless these days

1 Like

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 6:58am On May 09, 2017
unclezuma:


Whichever comes first try and be in his/her life one way or the other...

Definitely, I will.


Thanks a bunch.
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Libo45: 7:01am On May 09, 2017
Was she sleeping with the guy while still dating u?
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Ahijo1990(m): 7:03am On May 09, 2017
Libo45:
Was she sleeping with the guy while still dating u?

Can't tell. But she claimed not to.

All I know is that the said guy has been on her heels every now and then.
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Acidosis(m): 7:30am On May 09, 2017
That guy is a joke. He isn't going to marry her.



Lol, nor be men?? he he

1 Like

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Physika(f): 7:51am On May 09, 2017
Just may be...

1 Like

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by coolcatty: 8:34am On May 09, 2017
Ahijo1990:


Yea. At least 85% sure. From her calculations, she was with me when she took in and we had unprotected s*x for like 2 days


Pls dump that slow dullard of a girl.

Why will a girl allow a common boyfriend to make love to her raw??.....she didn't even insist on withdrawal...she allowed u to pour your entire akamu into her...that's so risky jare......its obvious she is slow,dull and doesn't love herself.


Same way I'm sure the other guy will dump her too....geeez....where do u meet this kind of girls?... Change ur parole and upgrade
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Florblu(f): 10:49am On May 09, 2017
l
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Viking007(m): 11:02am On May 09, 2017
dingbang:
The difference between you and the other guy who wants to marry her despite the fact she has a baby is maturity.



You are immature. And if u really want to be in dat kid's life, you fvcking man up, take up your responsibilities and marry her or forever remain a coward.

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by crackhaus: 11:04am On May 09, 2017
HungerBAD:
My good friend.

Don't walk around with the weight of the World on your shoulder, the baby has always been his so don't feel guilty. I am sure if you have the other guy's number, he will tell you she told him the same thing too, that she is pregnant for him and there is one guy disturbing her for marriage.

Men are guilty always of underestimating the intelligence of women.
Hahahaha.. This is good. cheesy cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Viking007(m): 11:11am On May 09, 2017
coolcatty:



Pls dump that slow dullard of a girl.

Why will a girl allow a common boyfriend to make love to her raw??.....she didn't even insist on withdrawal...she allowed u to pour your entire akamu into her...that's so risky jare......its obvious she is slow,dull and doesn't love herself.


Same way I'm sure the other guy will dump her too....geeez....where do u meet this kind of girls?... Change ur parole and upgrade
And the guy that poured his "akamu" without using a condom is not slow & dull?
It takes two to tangle. They are both dull & silly for having unprotected sex.

10 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by coolcatty: 11:30am On May 09, 2017
Viking007:
And the guy that poured his "akamu" without using condom is not slow & dull?
It takes two to tangle. They are both dull & silly for having unprotected sex.


No mind me jare.....they are both dull and deserve themselves... What rubbish...in this age and time...even some married women stylishly deny their husbands seeex in the raw if he comes back from a long trip not to talk of a mere boyfriend.

2 Likes

Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Viking007(m): 11:31am On May 09, 2017
coolcatty:



No mind me jare.....they are both dull and deserve themselves... What rubbish...in this age and time...even some married women stylishly deny their husbands seeex in the raw if he comes back from a long trip not to talk of a mere boyfriend.
cool cool
Re: Have I Disappointed My Unborn Child? by Nobody: 11:38am On May 09, 2017
I'm sorry op but you are childish and a bit of a coward. You want to do adult stuff but you can't handle adult responsibility? I feel sorry for that innocent child!

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