hey nairaland family! where do I begin from,it will be a long read,please bare with me.
I don't know why some men can be heartless, I've been crying since Friday, I went to church today I couldn't concentrate had to leave before the "grace".
I met Dayo last year, he saw my roommate friend off and he was invited in, and then he saw me according to him, he felt he found what he was looking for, I liked him to but I felt the lady he came with was his girlfriend so I just let it go.
The next day I and my roommate was watching TV, she got a call, after she dropped she told me it was Dayo, he asked for my digits, I was amused I said I thought he had a girlfriend, she said no that the lady is his neighbor. I said okay no problem she can give it to him.
That was the beginning of the most amazing moments of my life, Dayo made me feel like a queen, though we were both students and according to him had no money, I didn't care I was in love, I didn't know it was all deceit and lies, he was in his finals I was in my 3rd year.
Everybody knew about us, I was so in love I didn't listen to to Side talks, he acted like he was also in love. He graduated.. we went back home for the holiday, through out we talk, there was no day we don't, sometimes he sends me money and I also did.
we resumed this year he came for his clearance in school, I noticed when he came for about a week he didn't start anything I asked what was the problem he said, he doesn't have money and I said no problem... I lent Jim 30k... he was so so happy he did his clearance at the dying minute cause his department was about something list to NYSC, he was so excited and he thanked me for being his saving grace.
He traveled back home, we still talked in my mind the relationship was going stronger, he asked me to marry him over the phone I was excited.
I didn't know he was planning his wedding with a lady he has been dating for the past 8 years she's based in the west,kwara to be precise, He got married on the 13th of May I didn't know, and that day we spoke, the next day which was Sunday he called to tell me to go to church.
All this while I didn't know he was married not until on Friday, on Thursday he called sounding all excited, that he has been posted to kebbi start for his NYSC ,he was complaining that kebbi is too far, I was even trying to console him, lol God!
Early Friday morning... I got a call from my friend telling me I should check facebook or I should search for Dayo on facebook... which I did, I saw his wedding pictures and high he had uploaded on Thursday with his wife smiling looking beautiful in the white lace....I can't describe how I felt, I was broken, Wow! I thought I was dreaming but I was not.
Dayo I know you read Nairaland, what did I do to deserve this, did someone pay you to break my heart? where did I go wrong God,i thought you were my last, I was faithful... I never cheated, Nairalanders girls,guys please be careful of the next Dayo
I don't know if I will be the next Dayo,i pray God help me so I won't be so damaged totally, I'm sorry for the long post.

Na so life be.
You win some, you lose some.
Just move on. It's a life lesson.
People cannot be trusted. You just escaped s lifetime of heartache. It's the wife that has to deal with his philandering ways now, so count yourself lucky.
It's his type that marry different women about without them knowing of each other till the day of his burial.
Don't be sweet talked into getting back with him. Don't even pretend to be friends with him because of the money you lent him.
He's a dangerous fellow, and never feel safe with him

Wooooh! ..mooma! ...yu just got played! ...Damn I sometimes wonder why my species could act as wicked as this ... This is too much to bear! ... I feel your pain!

I wished I had more to say to reduce TheSealedHavocOfTheSmoochingPain yuar experiencing now but sorry! ... Take heart!

over the time I have discovered that majority of these guys that support or involve in sex before marriage are usually not faithful to their partner.
@op you are a strong woman, just clean your wound and move on with life, shit happens just take it like that but I hope you learn from it.

I'm so sorry at this dear OP! I believe eyinjuege has said most of what can be said really. I know the pain is fresh but just wanted to enquire from you! Given the benefit of hindsight would you say there were any tell tale signs you may have ignored? I'm asking so someone else may be saved from the next Dayo

For eg did he make any secret calls at any time? Did you meet his family members at all? Visit his home outside school arena for eg? How come you were not friends in Facebook? Or did he have a secret account?

Ladies lets share some tips here how can we watch out for the next Dayo? By asking directly if we are " the one"? Do we flaunt the relationship to make sure we aren't dealing with a Dayo?

The matter is just tiring and annoying thing is it happens to even the best of we ladies!

babythug:
I'm so sorry at this dear OP! I believe eyinjuege has said most of what can be said really. I know the pain is fresh but just wanted to enquire from you! Given the benefit of hindsight would you say there were any tell tale signs you may have ignored? I'm asking so someone else may be saved from the next Dayo

For eg did he make any secret calls at any time? Did you meet his family members at all? Visit his home outside school arena for eg? How come you were not friends in Facebook? Or did he have a secret account?

Ladies lets share some tips here how can we watch out for the next Dayo? By asking directly if we are " the one"? Do we flaunt the relationship to make sure we aren't dealing with a Dayo?

The matter is just tiring and annoying thing is it happens to even the best of we ladies!

As regards calls he never made any suspicious calls, his text messages always clean, Yea he had a secret facebook account, I school in the north so his family are far in the east, though I was close to his friend and brother, it was his friend that revealed the secret to my friend
About flaunting relationships well I really did flaunt, he himself made it very obvious,cause I'm a private person, he told everyone he knows and I know that we were dating and he was also the jealous type, though now I'm wondering why was He,when he knew he didn't love me

Haaa! Oluwa o. These moraforkers thinking they are being smart while messing up other people's lives have its coming...and it will come to them in full dose.


Calm down babes. A man who could do that is a devil's incarnate. Be glad someone else had to buy the market he is...you are home free now. God isn't asleep dear...you will laugh last. A good man will find you.

Men! DAT is so messed up!
But ur Ewa which is beauty in Yoruba....n u really represent DAT.....take heart n move on. Let time heal u sweetie! Please don't let this discourage u from giving another guy a chance......Dayo wasn't meant to be urs...ur own boo will come....take heart sister!
I have heard of such happening but this is on another scale.......n d funny thing is here I am looking for a nice ,sweet geh n someone had one n treated her like she was nothing!!!

Take heart OP... God will give you a better man

Sorry o. Always do your own independent searches in the background. Never take anyone by their words alone. This never happened to me. But it even happens to some married woman. When a guy is so jealous and controlling, he has something to hide. Till you are married, keep your options open. By keeping your options open I don't mean having sex with several men. But those guys who are your friends and like you, keep them around. Don't hide yourself off and push away guys who are interested in you, because of one person till he marries you. He owes you nothing and neither do you till you are both at the altar and have said your vows.

Take your time, move on. You will be fine. Don't make how he treated you, make you lose sight of good guys out there. Or even change who you are. He is the one with major problems, so just pity him and do not let it affect your esteem or character. A much better guy than him will come. If he tries to contact you, just block him. His kind won't give his wife peace. So count your blessings.

This is Bad. Why will someone lead another on, to the extent of proposing, yet intents to marry another. So very wrong. Nne lick ur wound and move, I know it not going to be easy at all, but you have to, move. Find solace that karma is very much real, and will bite bayo up in the a$$ in due time. Mr Bayo you no try rara!

TonyeBarcanista:
Take heart OP... God will give you a better man

Amen