It’s difficult to get through life without feeling disappointed at one time or another. You are human, and you will have expectations about how things should be. Expectations are great because they help you to look forward in anticipation. In fact, expectations can keep you focused and motivated. Moreover, expectations are critical when it comes to goal setting.

When you set goals you will have expectations of the types of outcomes you would like to achieve. These outcomes will of course not always come to fruition as expected, and as a result you will need to deal with the initial disappointment. However, there are certain things you can immediately do that will help you work through this disappointment in a more effective way:

Calm Yourself Down
Okay, you’re feeling incredibly disappointed. Things didn’t pan out as you had expected. As a result, it’s easy to allow this disappointment to completely overwhelm your thought process. However, if you allow this to happen, then you can’t work through this problem successfully to overcome this disappointment in the long-run.

Your first step is to calm yourself down. You can do this by focusing on the present moment. You can also step away from the situation to clear your thoughts. Alternatively you can also take a nap to allow time to help separate yourself from what just happened. You can also get a massage, step into a steam room or sauna. All of these things will help you to calm down and clear your mind. Likewise this will allow you to begin thinking about things somewhat differently, which can potentially trigger new insights and perspectives that will help you to modify things moving forward.

Distract Yourself
If calming your mind doesn’t seem to be working, then take some time to temporarily distract yourself from this disappointment by listening to music, but watching a movie, or through reading a book. These distractions will help you to settle down. Then when you’re ready, you can get back to the situation at hand with more energy and a fresh perspective. There is never any point in dealing with something if your mind loses itself by overly obsessing about the disappointment. That by itself is a clear indication that a temporary distraction is required.

Transform Your Physiology
The moment disappointment hits you, your physiology will likely change. Think for a moment about a time you were really excited about something. How did you move your body during those moments? How were you standing? Now think about a time when you were incredibly disappointed about something. I bet your body was moving somewhat differently. The difference here is very important because you will never get into a resourceful state that will help you solve potential problems if your physiology remains in a state of disappointment. You must instead immediately adjust your physiology in empowering ways that will help serve you moving forward.

To make the necessary adjustments, think about how you would use your body when excited and/or confident. Now take the time to make the necessary adjustments in your physiology to get into this excited/confident state. Within this state you will begin to think and act differently — helping you to make better decisions moving forward.

Disappointment is Clouded in Fog
Keep in mind that the feeling of disappointment might not be what you think it is. Disappointment can often result from a misunderstanding, from confusion, and is often based on your personal expectations and interpretations of the situation. Maybe you really have nothing to be disappointed about. All you need to do is shift your perspective of the situation and all of a sudden what seemed unfortunate, may in fact turn into your greatest opportunity.

Transform Your Perspective
How you perceive things must encourage you to move forward with confidence. It must help you to incorporate a solution-focused mindset that will promote “out of the box” thinking.

What if instead of feeling disappointed you shifted your perspective in the following three ways:

There’s always a silver lining… What about this situation gets me excited?

Everything happens for a reason… Why is it important that I experience this disappointment?

This could have been much worse… What specifically about this am I grateful for?

These three shifts in perspective provide you with a new path moving forward that will help you to think more clearly and intelligently about the situation. They will also prevent you from being bogged down by disappointment.

Disappointment is Only Temporary
It’s absolutely critical that in the moment of disappointment you understand that disappointment is only temporary. You did something, it didn’t work out, and now you must learn from this experience and adjust your course of action moving forward. Yes, you might very well have had many disappointments along your journey. However, all of them provide you with valuable lessons you can use to help improve your chances of success the next time around.

Don’t Admit Your Disappointment
Don’t ever admit that you’re disappointed…

This seems to contradict the fact that it’s important to admit how you feel about the situation in order to move through the process of overcoming disappointment. This is of course true, however admitting the reality of your situation can at times be unhelpful if you do nothing about it. Focusing on what you’ve lost and what you’ve failed to do or achieve, will only deflate your confidence, and will prevent you from moving forward.

Therefore if you find that you are one of those people who easily become overwhelmed by disappointment, then avoid admitting the fact that you’re disappointed at all costs, and instead shift your perspective about the situation to help move yourself forward in more productive ways.

Don’t Demand Perfection from Yourself
The reality is that no matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect. You’re human and perfection is not a part of your nature. Accept the fact that perfection is not attainable and focus instead on making progressive improvement over time. However, even with improvement, you will often take two steps forward and one step back. And that’s perfectly okay. You need to take that one step back to gain a clearer perspective and understanding of the situation moving forward. You need to learn from that experience. Therefore, don’t resist. Just go with the flow and strive for improvement over perfection.

Don’t Attempt to Control the Outcome
When it comes to sudden disappointment, sometimes the more you try and control the outcome or the circumstances within that moment, the more frustration and disappointment you will feel. There is no point trying to control things that are out of your control. It’s like trying to catch the wind with your bare hands. It’s simply impossible. Instead, give up the desire to control external events, and instead utilize the other strategies discussed within this section to help you work through your moment of disappointment successfully.

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