The idea that a man should marry a woman he can control is one of the most ridiculous ideas that people peddle in our society. Let's for a moment assume that controlling another person is right, why do people get angry when it is a said that a woman is controlling her husband? Why does it have to be the man controlling the woman? This is enough proof that controlling another human is evil. Totally devilish.

You want to get married as a man and everybody is telling you to marry a woman you can control. I personally have a huge problem with people who cannot think before acting. You want someone you can control because people said you should. Have you ever taken your marital life into consideration? In what ways will it help your marriage if your wife is subservient?

Nobody is asking these questions. We are men. We must be in charge even if we have very little wisdom. This is how some men make wrong financial decisions and put their whole family in debt and penury. It would have just taken them an hour of discussion with their wives but they won't. Being a man doesn't mean you have sense. Wisdom does not reside in the genitals. It is in the mind and everybody has got it, even animals. Hardly would you see a couple who make decisions together, having much difficulty. Two good heads is always better than one.

You will ask me now, what you are to do when your wife isn't bringing forth reasonable counsel. Why did you marry her in the first place? Inasmuch as we marry other things, the primary thing we marry is a person's mind. Mind over matter it is. The mind determines the actions. So you should try to engage her mind first to know if she has what it takes to be with you and vice versa.

On the stupidity of controlling another human, it should be noted that there are so many things that you cannot control, let alone humans. We were given classifications of living and non living things. I dare say that there is really nothing like a non living thing. That is some restricted knowledge. Everything lives. We live through our energies. What happens in the universe is the interaction of different energies. What you call non living thing actually transmits and receives energy just as you. You can communicate with anything as long it has energy. This would show you that you really cannot control anything except things like putting food in your mouth to eat. How often do you control your teeth from hurting your tongue?

No human can control the other. You can use force or duress to maintain the idea of control but that isn't control. You can only control somebody if you can successfully get into their mind and make them adopt your idea WILLINGLY. This is why I used education and dialogue to disseminate my ideas.

You can ignorantly keep a woman for years thinking she is under your control but she isn't. She has a mind of her own. The heart would always want what it wants. The day she sees an opportunity, she would rebel against you. Every human is a potential rebel. We are all independent beings . You cannot even control your children, how much more your spouse. When you start seeking a wife, seek a partner not a servant. You want a marriage you would enjoy, go for partnership. It is the way forward. Those looking for people to control are just seeking their own doom.

Lool @ wisdom does not reside in the genitals

Its a Nigerian thing to say marry a woman you can control .

I had a problem with that word "control" and I still do. It sounds somehow.

NoToPile:
Lool @ wisdom does not reside in the genitals

Its a Nigerian thing to say marry a woman you can control .

I had a problem with that word "control" and I still do. It sounds somehow.

At least we are saying the same thing

Food for thought...

cruchenuti:
The term means marry a woman that is humble enough to listen to you. The problem is that you translating it to literal meaning. As per treating her like a robot.

Very nice perspective. Why is it only men told to marry women they can CONTROL, why don't we tell women same thing?

-Could it be that the word has an implicit meant?
-Or women don't deserve men that will be humble enough to listen to them?
-If you hear your MIL telling your wife that she just married a man she can CONTROL, will you in your good heart not translate it literally?

The term means marry a woman that is humble enough to listen to you. The problem is that you translating it to literal meaning. As per treating her like a robot.

I have always asked this question... why would a man want to control a woman? Someone you claim to love for that matter? but most men still have this sense of authority and control in them, it's a wrong way to run a home.
Whatever happens to partnership ?

cruchenuti:
The term means marry a woman that is humble enough to listen to you. The problem is that you translating it to literal meaning. As per treating her like a robot.

How about men swallowing their ego to listen to their spouse?

richyblink1:


How about men swallowing their ego to listen to their spouse?

Sure, if they don't listen to their spouse they will be doomed all together. They will learn the hard way. Because two heads are always better than one.

But Trust me, majority of women want a man who can control them and put them to order. That is why you see they can hardly marry their age mates. Because they know they won't respect him. Women don't want a man who is too nice.

A little bit of this and little bit of that. Being controlling is part of it.

Infact check on YouTube they are many road surveys from Pulse tv and similar other channels on YouTube.

PaperLace:
Food for thought...


Very nice perspective. Why is it only men told to marry women they can CONTROL, why don't we tell women same thing?

-Could it be that the word has an implicit meant?
-Or women don't deserve men that will be humble enough to listen to them?
-If you hear your MIL telling your wife that she just married a man she can CONTROL, will you in your good heart not translate it literally?

Hmmm I won't be happy when i hear that oh. But the truth is many women actually want Men who can control them But not control freaks. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying.

I mean, why do women prefer to marry men who are 4 years older or more. Even when they age mates are equally financially successful ?

cruchenuti:


Sure, if they don't listen to their spouse they will be doomed all together. They will learn the hard way. Because two heads are always better than one.

But Trust me, majority of women want a man who can control them and put them to order. That is why you see they can hardly marry their age mates. Because they know they won't respect him. Women don't want a man who is too nice.

A little bit of this and little bit of that. Being controlling is part of it.

Infact check on YouTube they are many road surveys from Pulse tv and similar other channels on YouTube.

I agree to an extent. But also remember that humans are free moral agents not to be controlled or subdued.

Men understanding that women are part of them and are to be treated fairly with respect and love is key to a better and lasting union.

cruchenuti:


Hmmm I won't be happy when i hear that oh. But the truth is many women actually want Men who can control them But not control freaks. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying.

I mean, why do women prefer to marry men who are 4 years older or more. Even when they age mates are equally financially successful ?

interesting perspective, I thought it was because men prefer younger women and people shame older unmarried ladies or those who look older than their husband not because they want to be controlled. I don't want to be controlled I'm not a wild animal.

proudafrogal:


interesting perspective, I thought it was because men prefer younger women and people shame older unmarried ladies or those who look older than their husband not because they want to be controlled. I don't want to be controlled I'm not a wild animal.

What i'm experiencing here from Day to Day isn't what you thought. It's hard to even date properly when you are in your early twenties because women don't consider you as marriage fit. I'm not even talking financially now sef.

I have had to lie to increase my age so I can actually date the ladies I want which result in more problems for me.

Yes. Men prefer younger women. The thought that those women can respect them is also one of the reasons. ( The normal, I senior you mentality...Ehn i am not your mate etc ) . So Not only about looking older.

There is no such thing as a Nice Man or a Nice Woman. Those are the most manipulative people in the whole world. Any woman married to them will suffer like she is married to a chronic womanizer. He will forever be playing the Victim card outside whilst killing her inwardly.

Women don't want men that control them, they want men that can take charge when need be. When the marriage is failing, they want a man who tells her "I love you, please whatever you need me to do to fix this, I will do willingly. I am going nowhere". When the finances are bad, a good man comes home, eats Garri happily and praises his wife for her ability to soak Garri well for him. When issues come outside, a good man will call his wife, ask for her opinion and then say "alright I've heard you, decision making time".

If good men like that existed, he will never need to marry a woman he can control. She will willingly submit to him, infact the way she will adore him will scare even his mother. Age has nothing to do with it, one of the youngest guys in my class was the one who ended up with the best marriage. The way he adores his wife, every woman is so envious of her. And she reciprocates with love and submission. Easily and freely. Almost all the good marriages in my class were to young guys, who had one thing in common: a deep abiding love for their wives and a healthy relationship with God (not the nonsense you see paraded upandan like pure water). When you gave a good relationship with God, people will want to follow you to church without asking. If you are speaking in tongues and skabashing and not one of your friends openly says "guy, invite me" then your life is not beautiful and does not reflect God. These Youngs guys, they went to like 2 churches in Lagos and those churches, I respect them. No noise, no frills, no televised "Anointing" service, no calling anyone "Daddy in the Lord". Just pure love of God.


Instead you have men thinking they need to break a woman's spirit like that of a stubborn goat. Worn out and defeated, she accepts it and he spends the rest of his life wondering why she is so dull and chasing outside what he destroyed with his own hands, in his own home. Then you have those that are out of control in their personal lives, their wives react and immediately they accuse her of being "headstrong and uncontrollable".

If you want to marry a Proverbs 31 wife, be the 1 Peter 3:7 husband. You will enjoy. People, please stop ignoring the parts of God's word that doesn't conform to your selfish nature.

Onegai:
There is no such thing as a Nice Man or a Nice Woman. Those are the most manipulative people in the whole world. Any woman married to them will suffer like she is married to a chronic womanizer. He will forever be playing the Victim card outside whilst killing her inwardly.

Women don't want men that control them, they want men that can take charge when need be. When the marriage is failing, they want a man who tells her "I love you, please whatever you need me to do to fix this, I will do willingly. I am going nowhere". When the finances are bad, a good man comes home, eats Garri happily and praises his wife for her ability to soak Garri well for him. When issues come outside, a good man will call his wife, ask for her opinion and then say "alright I've heard you, decision making time".

If good men like that existed, he will never need to marry a woman he can control. She will willingly submit to him, infact the way she will adore him will scare even his mother. Age has nothing to do with it, one of the youngest guys in my class was the one who ended up with the best marriage. The way he adores his wife, every woman is so envious of her. And she reciprocates with love and submission. Easily and freely. Almost all the good marriages in my class were to young guys, who had one thing in common: a deep abiding love for their wives and a healthy relationship with God (not the nonsense you see paraded upandan like pure water). When you gave a good relationship with God, people will want to follow you to church without asking. If you are speaking in tongues and skabashing and not one of your friends openly says "guy, invite me" then your life is not beautiful and does not reflect God. These Youngs guys, they went to like 2 churches in Lagos and those churches, I respect them. No noise, no frills, no televised "Anointing" service, no calling anyone "Daddy in the Lord". Just pure love of God.


Instead you have men thinking they need to break a woman's spirit like that of a stubborn goat. Worn out and defeated, she accepts it and he spends the rest of his life wondering why she is so dull and chasing outside what he destroyed with his own hands, in his own home. Then you have those that are out of control in their personal lives, their wives react and immediately they accuse her of being "headstrong and uncontrollable".

If you want to marry a Proverbs 31 wife, be the 1 Peter 3:7 husband. You will enjoy. People, please stop ignoring the parts of God's word that doesn't conform to your selfish nature.

Didn't know your post could be these nice madam...

God bless you for these...

Marriages has been propagated in a bad light so much that sometimes you begin to wonder

If there are people who are actually happy married.?

But the post above me just added more faith and hope, see that it is actually very possible.

Why try to control another individual?

Though I have it countless time that ladies love who control them now I seem to be seeing a different view.

Lovely discuss

Men are supposed to be leaders. But absolutely no-one teaches them responsibility and how to lead (just look at our leaders in government) so they get married with wrong notions and bad behaviors, reinforce it amongst their friends and only 5% of Marriages end up happy. This is true in any part of the world. So, let me give you an idea of what a good leader looks like. And I will use a popular character on a popular TV show.

Gentlemen, may I introduce Jon Snow of Game Of Thrones?

Jon started life in a good family but with strikes against him. The mother of the house hated him and hoped he will die. She was not a wicked woman, she and everyone were told Jon was the product of her husband's cheating. Even though she stayed with her husband and loved him and had more kids with him, Catlin Stark hated Jon to the point of unreason.

Dear men, cheating DOES matter. It doesn't matter if she is smiling at you now, by cheating you have broken her. A lot of women don't forgive because they love their husbands, they forgive because they don't want to be divorcees in a society that will judge them and reward the sinner. It is human nature to let anger, pain and sorrow flow, and it MUST flow out. Which is why you see a lot of guys say "my dad put my mum through hell, she stuck with him and they are happy". Look at their lives: the kids in the marriage are strangely having all sorts of emotional problems later in life. If cheating had no repercussions, the Bible wouldn't condemn Adultery. Jesus never ever said Polygamy was good (sorry, guys who use old testament as an excuse, you are Christians, not Jews. The old laws don't apply to you).

Jon Snow become a leader of the Night's Watch at a young age and was totally unprepared. He didn't know what to do. But he always stayed on the mission he was given. He always listened to Maester Aemon. He made unpopular choices like letting wildings in (some of his people revolted and killed him). But he did it for the greater good and explained. They didn't accept. Some did sha.

I see husbands, big issues come up and the next thing to do is to be avoiding their homes, pursuing women outside and hanging out late. Anything to avoid having to face the truth that they are overwhelmed. Then they listen to their peers, not someone who is a seasoned and trusted adviser. A lot of men avoid their seasoned advisers because the advisers tend to tell them the truth. When issues come up, focus on the longterm
And if you have to take an unpopular choice, explain to your wife. Explain to your wife, don't say "I am the Head of this House/Lion of the jungle of mediocre Ajegunle/whatever chest-beating title you like", frigging explain to your wife. She may not like it but she will appreciate that you respected her to explain. As for those who will try and stab you behind your back, cut them off. Shikena.

Being a man doesn't mean you have sense. Wisdom does not reside in the genitals



Where's the roflmao emoji?

Jon had to fight Ramsey Bolton. Whilst he was making battle plans, his half-sister Sansa told him about the personality of Ramsey. He refused to ask her or listen because according to him (quite rightly), she didn't have battle experience. Now, Sansa agreed with him: she didn't know anything about battles but she knew Ramsay's personality.
Let me be clear: your personality is a better indicator of what you will in life do rather than your skills. Which is why the world's billionaires can be school dropouts but everyone else will try that path and be doomed. Which is why you will see a B.Sc holder get a great job and go on to have a great career over a PhD holder who has better contacts. Fact. HR people are trained to look past your degrees and look at what you can deliver.

Anyhoo, Jon goes to battle, gets played by Ramsey, loses more than half his men and is about to die. At the most crucial moment, Littlefinger and the Knights of the Vale sweep in and save Jon's ar.se from being captured, killed or tortured. And Jon ends up winning. Littlefinger did not cut an alliance with Jon, he did it with Sansa. The woman who knew nothing about battle strategy saved them all. When Jon confronts her, she explains and do you know what he did? He kissed her gently on the forehead and told her softly "next time, tell me. We are in this together, we have to be united."

Do you know how many husbands have made the error of not listening to their wives, their wives go behind their backs or do something they don't like to save them, they are saved, but then focus on the fact that the wife DISOBEYED rather than SAVED him and they beat/punish/emotionally destroy their wives? It becomes a matter of Ego, like "how dare she?!" instead of looking at the big picture "thank God she did it!". They become merciless and view it as her wanting to be the Boss™, and it is finished for her. She is "a feminist, uncontrolled, acting like a man, challenging, unsubmissive, a threat, evil, most likely to kill him" etc. They punish her for doing what God intended her to do in his life: save him when he cannot see the danger he is about to fall into.

Look at the Bible, do you know how many influential wives are in it? Every book is filled with a story of an influential wife from the bad (Jezebel) to the good (Abigail). If God wanted men to marry people just like them, gay marriage would be endorsed in the Bible. Even the toughest of women will melt like a snowflake for the right man, because she is designed to help him, love and rescue him, his job is to protect her. No where in the Bible does it say the primary duties of a wife are physical: cook, clean, have kids, bang him. Her duties are emotional and spiritual, which is why he is to honor and cherish her, so she can trust him enough to fight his emotional and spiritual battles. How can you get the full protection of your woman when you never listen to her and when she is forced to take matters into her hand, you punish her for being correct because it made you feel less like a man.

@Onegai

I really loving these.....

Please come and continue ooo..

Maybe you could highlight more of what men need for marriage to be more blissful instead of these tale of woe we read on NL.

By the way,

You said something about personality can you expanciate about it further?

Preach onegai


OP thumbs up

cococandy:
Preach onegai


OP thumbs up

Thanks dearie.

Soon they will appear(bitter men) that wanted my head off just because I referred to wives as our better half in my previous post. Will still be waiting for them anyway

richyblink1:


Thanks dearie.

Soon they will appear(bitter men) that wanted my head off just because I referred to wives as our better half in my previous post. Will still be waiting for them anyway

As they say misery loves company....