Goodday ...
This is my story.....im married to a single mum.....and she was sepearated for about 3years and we got married after a year from divorce....

she has custody of their 2kids from d previous marriage and thrir dad usually pick them up on weekends....and most of d time, he would stay in d car while d kids go out to meet him because my wife told me he stopped him from coming into d house even before I came here.


so yesterday he came to pick d kids in d morning, my wife went out to discuss something wit him and she came in to make him some coffee while d kids took that out for him coz obviously my wife didn't want him coming in.....fast forward to d night, he brought d kids back and immediately followed them into d house....I heard him talking but fortunately I was in d room....then after a while, my wife came in and ask me if I would like to meet d kids dad........
I felt so uncomfortable, even though he knew about me already and I just said "No im not prepared to meet with anybody" I guess my wife felt bad about it that she couldn't sleep over night.....please have I over reacted, or was it jealousy on my part thst made me turned down meeting him......pls how do I handle this as this might still occur someday.....is it proper for him coming into d house?

yes im a Nigerian...
cool.....found ur words helpful

The best thing should have been to relocate to a new house. Cos in this very house u can't be bold enough to meet the ex husband.

U didn't over react, just try and relocate your family to a new place.

Beverly1:
Goodday ...
This is my story.....im married to a single mum.....and she was sepearated for about 3years and we got married after a year from divorce....

she has custody of their 2kids from d previous marriage and thrir dad usually pick them up on weekends....and most of d time, he would stay in d car while d kids go out to meet him because my wife told me he stopped him from coming into d house even before I came here.


so yesterday he came to pick d kids in d morning, my wife went out to discuss something wit him and she came in to make him some coffee while d kids took that out for him coz obviously my wife didn't want him coming in.....fast forward to d night, he brought d kids back and immediately followed them into d house....I heard him talking but fortunately I was in d room....then after a while, my wife came in and ask me if I would like to meet d kids dad........
I felt so uncomfortable, even though he knew about me already and I just said "No im not prepared to meet with anybody" I guess my wife felt bad about it that she couldn't sleep over night.....please have I over reacted, or was it jealousy on my part thst made me turned down meeting him......pls how do I handle this as this might still occur someday.....is it proper for him coming into d house?

Don't forget to jonze your wife about it oo.. So she doesn't over think n starts to feel bad..

Find a way of making the whole scenerio look like a really funny comedy show

You should have given your wife the evil eye and then calmly shook his hand and try not to make conversation, at least be aloof.

The wife should have prepared you or least discuss things with you.

Her rule of not allowing the dad in the house is not right; if it is a rule, not an understanding. Taking coffee to the ex outside and him coming every week shows they are civil and not enemies.

You have upset your wife by being impolite and unnecessarily difficult.

Just go and meet the guy yourself next time he comes to pick up the kids. Or you can all go out as one family to his car and you say hello and leave them to it.

The man probably wanted to say thank you, based on good reports he got from the kids concerning you.

Handle it well next time.

-Peace

CandidSeeker:

The man probably wanted to say thank you, based on good reports he got from the kids concerning you.

Handle it well next time.

-Peace

I think u might be right..
.because I try as much as possible to buy them gift everytime I can afford one....not sure if they tell him about that.

chrisj2:
You should have given your wife the evil eye and then calmly shook his hand and try not to make conversation, at least be aloof.

The wife should have prepared you or least discuss things with you.

Her rule of not allowing the dad in the house is not right; if it is a rule, not an understanding. Taking coffee to the ex outside and him coming every week shows they are civil and not enemies.

You have upset your wife by being impolite and unnecessarily difficult.

Just go and meet the guy yourself next time he comes to pick up the kids. Or you can all go out as one family to his car and you say hello and leave them to it.

No they are not enemies as they have to discuss where welfare and child support. on d phone most times....

majamajic:
The best thing should have been to relocate to a new house. Cos in this very house u can't be bold enough to meet the ex husband.

U didn't over react, just try and relocate your family to a new place.

relocating abit faraway from him would have been the best.....but moving houses here is not cheap....
could cost about $4000 or more....

You shouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation. Anyway, my advice is for you to take your time. Don't let anyone rush you into meeting him. Try and prepare yourself mentally before you meet him. However, you don't have to meet him. That's my own say.

Be civil to him. No cause to be jealous or alienate yourself from him. So long as he is in his kids lives, he's in your life as well cos you are in his kids' lives Be civil...its a long drive man.

Women think its just so easy for guys who are in her life at one point in time to just meet and shake hands together

I am even wondering how the conversation would be like..if he was unprepared...

Well this is what happens when you marry a single mum and someday you will have to face up to meet the father of her children but don’t allow her or anyone else to put pressure on you into doing what you are not ready to do yet. If it was you that had the children from a previous relationship would your wife be so willing to meet the mother of your children? Meet him when you are ready and not when pressured.

What's the point of relocating as advised here?

Dude is expected to meet his kids on weekends, it doesn't matter whether they relocate to Jupiter.

By the way, why move in to live with your new wife? It is not appropriate please, you've got to rent your own apartment. That way you can earn absolute respect from your wife and her ex husband.

I don't buy the idea of entertaining an ex with tea and all that nonsense. You guys are dinning with the devil. Do not be deceived, a single mom will forever be attached to an ex husband by virtue of the existing bond (kids). The idea of meeting each other on a weekly basis has great repercussions.

You sound matured. Meet him when you are prepared to prevent awkward reactions.

thanks for all.your mature comments ...
really help

Beverly1:
yes im a Nigerian...
cool.....found ur words helpful

And why in fvcks name would you marry a woman who's been married before with two kids and the supposed husband man is still very much alive and hearty even to the extend of having closed discussion with your supposed wife huh....i don't even know what to call you.

Surprise that you can just jump up and call someone my wife simply because you paid some money on her head. You really forgot that that thing is "till death do us part".
Better go look for your wife and part way with another man's wife. Abi your name na Tokumbo?
On a very serious note if you are a Christian that is the best advice for you. It may look insulting but that's the truth.

firstking01:
And why in fvcks name would you marry a woman who's been married before with two kids and the supposed husband man is still very much alive and hearty even to the extend of having closed discussion with your supposed wife huh....i don't even know what to call you.

SMH, The same reason we should ask you why you are commenting here. You should be in the children section

cruchenuti:


SMH, The same reason we should ask you why you are commenting here. You should be in the children section

God4bid, just imagine your response....you sound so irresponsible...if i wanna tell you all the things in my mind they might ban me and you won't sleep well this night i swear...just imagine…and i'm sure your supposed "wife" is busy fvcking the real husband cos you sound like a love peddler playing a second fiddle, mtcheew....shame.

firstking01:
God4bid, just imagine your response....you sound so irresponsible...if i wanna tell you all the things in my mind they might ban me and you won't sleep well this night i swear...just imagine…and i'm sure your supposed "wife" is busy fvcking the real husband cos you sound like a love peddler playing a second fiddle, mtcheew....shame.

bto not sure u are wanted or appreciated on my post..


...could u pls stay off....some of ur post I've checked says alot about u...

peace

Beverly1:
bto not sure u are wanted or appreciated on my post..


...could u pls stay off....some of ur post I've checked says alot about u...

peace

Who is the original poster cos it seems like i'm having two people adressing me on the same issue??....


As for my post i can bet my life they say positive things abt me cos i don't post trash...


I'm just disapoint in you or whoever is responsible for this thread.....


Answer my question, why would you bypass all the single and responsible girls that come your way to marry a woman with two kids already and who's husband is still hale and hearty??....my anger this night is, the owner of the two kids still communicates and visit your supposed wife right under your nose....you messing up big time…


Has it ever occured to the three of you, i.e, you, your supposed "wife" and the owner of the two kids that y'all are committing adultery at every encompassing seconds of your existence?....


Well, i'm sure ya lots do not know this or you might know but delibrately chosed to wallow in ignorance....



My heartfelt advice, leave the woman for her real husband, go look for your own God giving wife.....



Have a goodnight and have you now seen that i don't post trash?, guess you are convinced now .

firstking01:
God4bid, just imagine your response....you sound so irresponsible...if i wanna tell you all the things in my mind they might ban me and you won't sleep well this night i swear...just imagine…and i'm sure your supposed "wife" is busy fvcking the real husband cos you sound like a love peddler playing a second fiddle, mtcheew....shame.

Hey lad, please tell me all the things on your mind. I've already had a nice dinner + some aftermath sex. I sure would sleep well tonight. So bring it on.

cruchenuti:


Hey lad, please tell me all the things on your mind. I've already had a nice dinner + some aftermath sex. I sure would sleep well tonight. So bring it on.

Comb this thread you'd see my comment where i 've adressed the issue, i'd think i 've already placed you where you belong....if you are the original poster then you are a shame till tomorrow....



Sex+dinner you say?....lwkmd, i give up mehhn.

firstking01:
Comb this thread you'd see my comment where i 've adressed the issue, i'd think i 've already placed you where you belong....if you are the original poster then you are a shame till tomorrow....



Sex+dinner you say?....lwkmd, i give up mehhn.

Is that All ?

Nope, u didn't overreact. You can meet him when u feel you are emotionally ready. And why's your wife discussing with him outside for what?

U self try,what are u doing with someone that has two kids. Are u divorced with kids as well?

Beverly1:
Goodday ...
This is my story.....im married to a single mum.....and she was sepearated for about 3years and we got married after a year from divorce....

she has custody of their 2kids from d previous marriage and thrir dad usually pick them up on weekends....and most of d time, he would stay in d car while d kids go out to meet him because my wife told me he stopped him from coming into d house even before I came here.


so yesterday he came to pick d kids in d morning, my wife went out to discuss something wit him and she came in to make him some coffee while d kids took that out for him coz obviously my wife didn't want him coming in.....fast forward to d night, he brought d kids back and immediately followed them into d house....I heard him talking but fortunately I was in d room....then after a while, my wife came in and ask me if I would like to meet d kids dad........
I felt so uncomfortable, even though he knew about me already and I just said "No im not prepared to meet with anybody" I guess my wife felt bad about it that she couldn't sleep over night.....please have I over reacted, or was it jealousy on my part thst made me turned down meeting him......pls how do I handle this as this might still occur someday.....is it proper for him coming into d house?

Acidosis:
What's the point of relocating as advised here?

Dude is expected to meet his kids on weekends, it doesn't matter whether they relocate to Jupiter.

By the way, why move in to live with your new wife? It is not appropriate please, you've got to rent your own apartment. That way you can earn absolute respect from your wife and her ex husband.

I don't buy the idea of entertaining an ex with tea and all that nonsense. You guys are dinning with the devil. Do not be deceived, a single mom will forever be attached to an ex husband by virtue of the existing bond (kids). The idea of meeting each other on a weekly basis has great repercussions.

You reason like an african, bro. In dat yonder place, hubby live in wife's house.

wadetaw202:


You reason like an african, bro. In dat yonder place, hubby live in wife's house.

lol......
..even if I pay $5k to move us into another apartment, the house still belongs to her.....she can decide not to let me in if I misbehave....or if devil enter her head
....na their way of life here....

firstking01:
Who is the original poster cos it seems like i'm having to people adressing me on the same issue??....


As for my post i can bet my life they say positive things abt me cos i don't post trash...


I'm just disapoint in you or whoever is responsible for this thread.....


Answer my question, why would you bypass all the single and responsible girls that come your way to marry a woman with two kids already and who's husband is still hale and hearty??....my anger this night is, the owner of the two kids still communicates and visit your supposed wife right under your nose....you messing up big time…


Has it ever occured to the three of you, i.e, you, your supposed "wife" and the owner of the two kids that y'all are committing adultery at every encompassing seconds of your existence?....


Well, i'm sure ya lots do not know this or you might know but delibrately chosed to wallow in ignorance....



My heartfelt advice, leave the woman for her real husband, go look for your own God giving wife.....



Have a goodnight and have you now seen that i don't post trash?, guess you are convinced now .

Smh

Mpeka:
Surprise that you can just jump up and call someone my wife simply because you paid some money on her head. You really forgot that that thing is "till death do us part".
Better go look for your wife and part way with another man's wife. Abi your name na Tokumbo?
On a very serious note if you are a Christian that is the best advice for you. It may look insulting but that's the truth.

so you are not sure if he is a Christian or not and you are already imposing your views on him.
marriage is not a do or die affair.

Beverly1:
Goodday ...
This is my story.....im married to a single mum.....and she was sepearated for about 3years and we got married after a year from divorce....

she has custody of their 2kids from d previous marriage and thrir dad usually pick them up on weekends....and most of d time, he would stay in d car while d kids go out to meet him because my wife told me he stopped him from coming into d house even before I came here.


so yesterday he came to pick d kids in d morning, my wife went out to discuss something wit him and she came in to make him some coffee while d kids took that out for him coz obviously my wife didn't want him coming in.....fast forward to d night, he brought d kids back and immediately followed them into d house....I heard him talking but fortunately I was in d room....then after a while, my wife came in and ask me if I would like to meet d kids dad........
I felt so uncomfortable, even though he knew about me already and I just said "No im not prepared to meet with anybody" I guess my wife felt bad about it that she couldn't sleep over night.....please have I over reacted, or was it jealousy on my part thst made me turned down meeting him......pls how do I handle this as this might still occur someday.....is it proper for him coming into d house?

You don't have to meet him if you don't want to.
But if it will affect your relationship with your wife just say hello and that is all.