.

No
she should address u by ur child's name


like mama babatunde

YES OF COURSE.


IT TAKES A WOMAN TO BRING ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN'S NEMESIS.

Anyway, its not a big deal Honey. Just live with it as long as its her only excess.

She should call u alahaja

To start with, which tribe are you from?

Are you her elder sister? Nigerians sef

You're older than she is, why should confronting her be an issue to you? Tell her point blank not to address you by your name again. That shouldn't be a big deal except you're scared of her

StephDamielola:
YES OF COURSE.


IT TAKES A WOMAN TO BRING ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN'S NEMESIS.

Anyway, its not a big deal Honey. Just live with it as long as its her only excess.

Don't you come from a place where respect is a thing? She's 4 Years older and married to her husband's elder brother, that is enough by me.

There's nothing wrong in addressing her 'least with her child's name

Please tell her about it, but do it politely because I know what women are capable of especially when one has a grudge against another

She probably takes you as her close paddy. Don't confront. Just tell her "don't hit me on the head with my name."

post=57755847:
To start with, which tribe are you from?

I am igbo

Mumben:
I am igbo

Where you come from,it's not so common to call people aunty this or that.
Just tell her plainly she ought not to address you by your first name but you can tell your brother to correct her.

Mumben:
I am igbo

Assuming it is Yoruba culture, she DARE not try such.
But in Igbo culture it is not seen as disrespect, so maybe she's not totally wrong.
A Yoruba guy MUST ALWAYS prostrate to greet his dad, but an Igbo guy can stand and say ' good morning papa' and the father answers 'good morning my boy', no disrespect, it's all about culture and believe............... and maybe a personal believe also, like what I think you are going through sis.

Are you a "modern" woman?

Because if you are, even if a 10yr old child calls you by your name it won't bother you one bit.

thank u all for ur inputs. i av bn thinking of telling her to address me by my first child's name but i wanted to be sure i wasn't asking for too much. You all are wonderful people. I will tell her it is not proper for her to address me dat way.

Ma' you're making a fuss over nothing here. Whether she calls you by your name or not it really doesn't add value to your life neither does it reduce it. Perhaps for the fact that she's your younger brother's wife and you're 4yrs older than her makes you feel you should be addressed specially. Does she disrespect you in anyway?. I could call an older person by his/her name but that doesn't mean I won't accord that person the respect I ought to as my seniors.

Personally, I don't see the big deal in her calling you by your name, and confrontation over this issue may result in other issues.

Mumben:
I am married with four kids, very gentle and easy going. My immediate younger brother's wife calls me by my name. I am 4 years older than her. Is this RIGHT? If not, how do i correct her politely? Matured responses pls.

She addresses you by YOUR NAME?

Should this really be an issue?


Haba!

Benita27:
Ma' you're making a fuss over nothing here. Whether she calls you by your name or not it really doesn't add value to your life neither does it reduce it. Perhaps for the fact that she's your younger brother's wife and you're 4yrs older than her makes you feel you should be addressed specially. Does she disrespect you in anyway?. I could call an older person by his/her name but that doesn't mean I won't accord that person the respect I ought to as my seniors.

Personally, I don't see the big deal in her calling you by your name, and confrontation over this issue may result in other issues.

Excellent response.

Afonjashapmouth:
It's wrong however let your brother handle that part if you don't want it messier

Seriously Its wrong? Ha! We are so concerned with inconsequential things! Does calling one by their name remove a dime from their body? Make d op go rest.. That's how people allow d devil use them.

Mumben:
thank u all for ur inputs. i av bn thinking of telling her to address me by my first child's name but i wanted to be sure i wasn't asking for too much. You all are wonderful people. I will tell her it is not proper for her to address me dat way.

Why?

uboma:



Excellent response.

I have seen a child who calls his mother by her name but dare not disrespect her. We attach so much to things that should be overlooked.

uboma:




She addresses you by YOUR NAME?

Should this really be an issue?


Haba!

It is a big issue in our part of the country. You just can't call someone older than you with kids by their names, you will be tagged disrespectful. Like someone mentioned in one of the posts up there, it is not a big deal in some places. Big deal or not, if the op is offended by the name calming, she should addres it rather than bearing grudges.

Some people will even prefer to be called a name that makes them still look and feel young. I don't see how calling one by her name means lack of respect especially among adults.

If you feel until when someone kneels down to greet and call you aunty or Mummy whatever, before you believe she respects you, then there is something going on between two of you that is making you doubt if she knows her place in the house.

Benita27:
I have seen a child who calls his mother by her name but dear not disrespect her. We attach so much to things that should be overlooked.

Exactly!

I have met persons, both younger and older than me, who choose to address me as Sir.

I never fail to remind them daily that I prefer to be addressed by my name.

Nigerians! Some of us like unnecessary quarrels.

dominique:


It is a big issue in our part of the country. You just can't call someone older than you with kids by their names, you will be tagged disrespectful. Like someone mentioned in one of the posts up there, it is not a big deal in some places. Big deal or not, if the op is offended by the name calming, she should addres it rather than bearing grudges.

So what happens when we leave with people who don't share same school of thought? How do we cohabitate with people of different upbringing? Where is the tolerance and understanding? Unless she knows the younger wife is purposely behaving the way she is.

Like I said before, if it's by that name calling she feels the respect from her younger brothers wife, then things are not right between them.

What's a name for in the first place?

Mumben:
I am married with four kids, very gentle and easy going. My immediate younger brother's wife calls me by my name. I am 4 years older than her. Is this RIGHT? If not, how do i correct her politely? Matured responses pls.

You are Igbo so what are you expecting her to call you?
Just 4 years age gap and you are wanting her to address you as what? My queenship abi my lordship

Sorry o but I don't know which part of igboland lays emphasis on attaché salutation.i have people I'm way older than who call me by my name and still give utmost respect where necessary.By the way you earn respect not demand it and attaching madam doesn't mean you rise in esteem in the eye of the person.

people love finding trouble where there is none.What does your younger brother call you? Seems like you are looking for an excuse to create fracas for no tangible reason.

I'm speaking from the Igbo point of view not Yoruba as their culture is different

You need to take a chill pill and face your four children instead of having high BP over your own name.

NB I thought I would see 10-20 years age gap.this one is just 4,nawa for waec

Nma27:
Seriously Its wrong? Ha! We are so concerned with inconsequential things! Does calling one by their name remove a dime from their body? Make d op go rest.. That's how people allow d devil use them.

Depending on her tribe, your perception of respect must not over rule others. She four yrs older and also the husband's elder sister. Common leave the Western culture and deal with yours. I'm sure you are so defensive because you will be vulnerable to such soon

eph12:

So what happens when we leave with people who don't share same school of thought? How do we cohabitate with people of different upbringing? Where is the tolerance and understanding? Unless she knows the younger wife is purposely behaving the way she is.

Like I said before, if it's by that name calling she feels the respect from her younger brothers wife, then things are not right between them.

It is still within her rights to let her SIL know how she wants to be addressed. Because they have different upbringing, she should fold her hand and continue to let her SIL unknowingly offend her? It's best she call her attention before the whole thing gets blown into a battle.

Woman what is your problem now? Why is it that women and looking for trouble go hand in hand? This is what happens when people carry calling them aunty/uncle on their head like a head gear. That she calls you by your name, has it removed any hair from your body? If she calls you by your name but is respectful to you then what is the big deal? Which would you prefer for her to call you aunty (eye service) but disrespectful to you or call you by your name but respectful? Is not as if it will add money to your bank account if she address you as aunty or by the name of one of your children would it? If it bothers you that much and it’s creating sleepless nights for you then discuss the issue with your brother and don’t go about creating unnecessary drama with your SIL. Or better still, if you are so adamant of telling your SIL off and warning her to call you by using a title then go for it but whatever happens after that, you will have yourself to blame.

dominique:


It is still within her rights to let her SIL know how she wants to be addressed. Because they have different upbringing, she should fold her hand and continue to let her SIL unknowingly offend her? It's best she call her attention before the whole thing gets blown into a battle.

True but if this is the case then we must agree that the battle is just in her head and nobody is dragging any seniority with her. Unless there is something else going on that I'm not aware of.