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Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by prestige2013: 2:24pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Afternoon, Am new to family section..... A friend came to me seeking for advice, he is preparing for his marriage in few months time. His parents are insisting on the couple staying with them after marriage as he is the only male in the family and both parents are aged. He is been given a 2 bedroom flat though in same compound but the wife is rejecting the offer saying he should go n get his accommodation outside but no one to care for his aged parents if he move out. So he is at crossroad not knowing what to do. Kindly Advice |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Papiikush: 2:27pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
I hate men who act like kids. He should move out of his father's out and start his own life. The Bible says for this reason shall a man leave his parent and become one with his wife 9 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by mrssho: 2:28pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
To be honest I wouldn't want to live with my inlaws either. He should look for a relative that can come and stay with them or hire a care taker 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Evablizin(f): 2:29pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Hm |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by smartty68(m): 2:30pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Very bad idea, this isn't India where parents decides who their children marries or decides where they live. The lady should call off the marriage if he agrees to his parents decisions. 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Afonjashapmouth: 2:30pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
There is no cross road here, the young woman does not want to get into what she cannot finish plus its unreasonable living with your parents after marriage. The two needs to leave and grow apart from family interference, that will help them to sort their differences after the marriage. As for the parent, the family should get them a house help to help with chores. If they have no son, they will sure live. My opinion. 10 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Evablizin(f): 2:31pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Papiikush:Ride on pastor i'm feeling your message over here.True talk 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Vision4God: 2:34pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Well... living with parent is not that easy. My take... higher some1 to help take care of them and he d son should check them regularly. But he doesn't need to stay in d family housr 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Papiikush: 2:35pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Evablizin:Hallelujah somebody |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by nerodenero: 2:36pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Regardless of age, only BOYS would get married and still hold firm to their parent. Real men take action and charge. Apologies, your friend is still a boy and the wife is a WOMAN and not a girl. 6 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by 7footre(m): 2:56pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
If his own parents left their parents to get married, why are the parents being selfish this time? He should grow some balls nd do what is proper 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by prestige2013: 3:09pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
7footre: He is considering them being aged n their health challenges. |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by eyinjuege: 3:27pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Has he really been the one taking care of his parents? I'm not talking of money now, but cleaning their house, washing their clothes, making their meals, ensuring they take their medicines etc. If he marries, is he ready to continue doing so or he expects his wife to take up that responsibility? Or is he naturally expected to marry and his wife takes up that responsibility? Living in the same compound with his parents has both advantages and disadvantages tbh. But it can cause a lot or friction that could have been avoided 6 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by jieta: 3:43pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Papiikush:were in the bible was it written that you should leave your AGE parent. |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Papiikush: 3:44pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
jieta:The Bible doesn't give a fück about age parents when that statement was made 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by jieta: 3:51pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Papiikush:did the parents ask him to share the same room with them. there are only asking him to stay were there can be seeing him often is that too difficult for your age parents to ask for. you don't know how it feels to have one male child if you know you won't make this comment. 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Papiikush: 3:52pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
jieta:I am not really in the mood to argue about this. Men don't stay with their parents, kids do. 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by jieta: 3:58pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Papiikush:not when you are the ONLY son |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by SirVintageCock: 4:00pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
jieta:Yeah.....if he stays with them he will nefa die. 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by 7footre(m): 4:00pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
prestige2013: He can stay close probably rent a place not too far from their place if he is factoring the above 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Blissquare(f): 5:31pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
What if they did not have a son? There is no big deal living in their compound. Even those that are not the only son do it conveniently but not always. The in laws would forget it is a sacrifice on the part of the couple and they would start picking on the wife. The Bible knows why it is stated to leave the parents. The parents should not be selfish. The guy should hire a help and just visit occasionally. It is selfishness. Even the wires parents may also be aged. So would they say their daughter should not get married. Wickedness to even ask such of their son. 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by joyAA(f): 5:43pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
The heck? Thought it was 'aged parents' what is 'age parents'? I need answers oooo Anyways, bad idea, ask What does he really want and why does he want it? He better cleave to d wife but support d parents The wife to be na real woman abeg |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by babythug(f): 5:52pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
@OP do consider what eyinjuege has highlighted! |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by prestige2013: 6:51pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
eyinjuege: Yes, he is in charge, Both parents had walking challenges (not bedridden), they don't move out of d compound due to d walking challenges ..... |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by eyinjuege: 7:00pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
prestige2013: Does that mean he doesn't work? Who looks after the parents when he's away at work? What if he has to travel out of the country or even out of the town for work related purposes ? Does it mean he can't do that? I know it's a noble act to physically look after your parents, but atimes it's not always possible or even practical. You may have to get professional help to do that. Meanwhile, what of his other siblings? Can't they rotate it amongst themselves to come and look after their parents, even if they are females. 2 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Yesitsme(f): 7:05pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
For the woman's sanity sake, let him hire a help rent a place outside. Yes they may be saving him house rent but then leaving there will save him a life long respect. Ur wife will naturally be expected to take up d responsibility of taking care of them of which she will get tired of someday. She is wise to have refused to stay. Pls it's not a good idea. 4 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by TheeDetective: 7:18pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
I don’t see any advantages for the son to be living with his parents after marriage. He needs to get his own apartment away from his parents and start afresh. It starts out well but along the line, drama starts to occur. He shouldn’t be putting his wife through this stress as it’s hard for the woman marrying an only son as it is and then they now want to add more pepper to the food; make him find his own place commot from him papa house abeg. He can employ someone to look after his parents and check on them regularly as a few people already use this method. 3 Likes |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by prestige2013: 7:34pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
eyinjuege: He works just that his work is very flexible, so he had the time |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by sisisioge: 8:05pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
Hmmmm...quite tricky. The best thing is to move out but since they are old, probably lonely and have their flat different from the guy's, I think he should stay. He should let them know upfront that it isn't his desire, any silly behavior from them towards His wife won't be entertained. He should stay and take care of them, they will be good nannies for the kids...it is not a bad arrangement. 1 Like |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by misreal(m): 9:31pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
. |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by misreal(m): 9:32pm On Jul 08, 2017 |
sisisioge:best advice. |
Re: Married And Living With AGED Parents - Advice by Nobody: 6:15am On Jul 09, 2017 |
He wants to turn his new wife into a househelp. 1 Like |
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