Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale - Family - Nairaland
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Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain / My Husband Is Too Jealous / My Husband Is Very Jealous Because I’m Beautiful – 16-year-old Housewife (2) (3) (4)
| Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by psalms37(f): 6:01am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Good morning nairalanders,an issue has been bothering me for a while now and i need your matured advise. I have been married for a year now and am tired of the marriage,my hubby talks and reports me to my sibs and mum always.This is a man that forgot his wedding anniversary and didn't celebrate it but he reported me to my mum cos i didn't wish him a happy bthday. He even told my mom that i don't go to church or pray at all,another time he told her i don't call his Family members.he's so petty and am sick of it all.pls advise me cos v tried my best. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by chinybelle(f): 6:02am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Funny husband and wife 4 Likes |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Nobody: 6:03am On Jul 13, 2017 |
The kind of husband some women are looking for... |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by SamzackD(m): 6:07am On Jul 13, 2017 |
 Op this is very easy, all you gotta do is get a calendar and mark his birthday date on it, or u could also put an event alarm on your phone or mark an event on your Facebook account, so that next time you won't forget to say happy birthday to him again. 9 Likes |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Artistree: 6:14am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37:Chai, a nagging man is the worst thing to happen to any woman. A man that cannot keep his mouth shut or even discuss matters with his wife before spreading his dirty linen outside, shamelessly complaining upandan like a canary. Peace will elude you when you find yourself with that poor excuse of a man, pele dear. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Nobody: 6:17am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37:Seek a professional counselor... Like someone who is versed in the field of counseling and psychotherapy.... Preferably a female academic... I really don't like giving someone who can join a to by lowdown..or else I should have suggested your church leaders.... As it is today no one can predict how such can backfire. |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Nobody: 6:18am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree:Don't bring your sorry stories here.... Help her to save her marriage and put it on the right path.... Not coming to paint the husband in damning colors... 13 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Artistree: 6:20am On Jul 13, 2017 |
SmartChoices:Yessah! Is that all? |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by AntiWailer: 6:38am On Jul 13, 2017 |
My advice is that you should become a better wife. Are you just knowing him ? |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by yomi007k(m): 6:39am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree:  Ur full of crap..if u continue like ds u wont go far. The best thing u cud say is for her to go n sit n discuss issues wt her husband. She shud mk more contacts to his family, go to church more n mark dates.... Even if my gf forget my birthday, I will deal wit her not to talk of my wife. 8 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Patented: 6:39am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37: but he was like this before you got married na!! and u willing got in, na to manage the situation or talk to him abt Hw it affects you or see a counsellor together and pray 1 Like |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by okenwa(m): 6:44am On Jul 13, 2017 |
My advice to you are: 1. Don't worry about the blame game. 2. Always obey his simple instructions because that is why he nags on you. 3. Why all of a sudden you changed after marriage? Seeing you were the praying type before he married you. 4. All marriages will always have issues. 5. Try and see yourself as a wife in a new home. In Africa you are married into a family that is why he nags on you to always call his relations. 6. He should should be a bit mature enough. He should stop calling people into his family issues 2 Likes |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Artistree: 6:47am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Lol |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by abescom: 6:54am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree:Have you asked the wife if she and the husband have discussed it or how did you come to this conclusion? And didn't she see he nags and forgetful before they got married? You are calling someone's husband poor excuse of a man just because you have heard only the wife's side? Makes no sense at all. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by abescom: 7:04am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Op if you want to find solution on nairaland you have 1. Accept you will receive some stupid advises and learn to discern which is worth it. 2. You will be abused and misjudged by people who don't even know you. 3. You have to reveal more than you have revealed. I am married for a little less than 2 years but I have had my challenges and think I can help here but I have some questions for you 1. How long have you been married? 2. Have you been denying him sex - this can make a man nag without meaning to. 3. Why did you stop being prayer - judging by what you said your husband complained about, you appear to be the prayerful one before you got married. Why did it stop? It could well be one of the reasons he married you. 4. You forgetting his birthday, was it a revenge on he forgetting you both wedding anniversary? 5. Have you had a serious, I mean very serious one on one with him on this issue before you brought it here? If you have, what was his response? What agreement did you both reach. Answering these questions will help us to help your marriage. But no matter what, calm down first. We all have our problems. I and my wife have had it worst I believe. But we are fine now cos we talked to someone who was able to help. Your "someone" may just be me or any nairalander. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Kondomatic(m): 7:08am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree: 7 Likes 4 Shares
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| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by babythug(f): 7:12am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Dear OP, You must ensure you nip this habit in the bus right away! It's one of the things that can easily cause a divide in marriage! Speak with him firmly on the matter and ask him to desist from it. Remind him that spreading tales about your marriage even to your family members will only bring see finish and arm third parties with missiles that can be used against you now and in the future. Insist that your disagreements must remain between you both! Ty to anticipate things that will make him nag and avoid them God help you 1 Like |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Nobody: 7:26am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree:Not quite. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by psalms37(f): 8:10am On Jul 13, 2017 |
abescom: 1 Like |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by baby124: 8:36am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Artistree is correct. Na one chance you enter because such people hardly change. On the bright side, he only gossips with your family. Some men turn themselves to community gossip where outsiders lack respect for them and even laugh at their wives. I personally can't handle being around anyone that talks too much... I know one community or adugbo gossip and it's a very sad situation for the wife. Just try to talk to him and forbid him from discussing your matter with a third party. I wish you luck in handling this. Your marriage is still young so you could try to salvage it. Goodluck. 1 Like |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by psalms37(f): 8:38am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Answers to questions 1.Exactly a year old 2.I recently put to bed so sex is out (csection) 3.I have talked to him several times even my mum snd elder sis did but he continues 4.its not that i don't pray anymore but the baby and work takes so much of my time 5.i have to admit forgetting his bthday was a revenge mission 6.Bringing it to nairaland i knew i will be misunderstood but am really frustrated and i have noone to talk to 2 Likes |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by psalms37(f): 8:53am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Again I had no idea he is like this we had no serious issue during courtship so i never knew.My real fear is my instincts tells me he wont change cos my mum,big sis and bro in law have told him about third party but he continues.My sis n her hubby doesn't even listen to him anymore cos they said its annoying. Do i still stay when i feel its just going to get better? p.s he won't agree to seeing a therapist,thinks its a waste of money |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by joyAA(f): 8:54am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Ummmm 'Scus me.... Didn't ya'all court or something?  Cs Ds is pretty hard to miss while dating... That aside, maybe...maybe ni ooi...maybe you overreacted in times past when he tried correcting you over little things... Although that is never a reason to involve third party whether your own family or his. Pray over the situation, then on a good day, casually bring it up, maybe while watching some drab show on TV or somn, try to get his 'why' there must b a reason he will overlook correcting you himself instead going over to family, try n see his reason, have you shown yourself immature in some way in the past? Does he see you as irresponsible? Or does he think you are a rebel ? Hopefully his answers will be no, you aren't all these, then you simply ask him to trust you, and 'correct' you himself after all the marriage involves you both only. To repair your home na your hand e dey oooo  I wish you success  Kisses to the baby  |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Nobody: 9:04am On Jul 13, 2017 |
@Op, just make him undastand that you don't like you two 'reporting' your matters to third parties or family. Some people feel its something normal to do. My Hubby used to tell me while we were courting that he was going to report me to my parents if I 'misbehaved'  . Ah...I told Him, 'Oga, don't do that o cos I hate calling others into my matter. I really love my privacy...I don't joke with it. If you report me, it would only worsen any issue we have' . I used to think why would one report a grown adult?! That's just me sha. Except its one we can't handle and its getting out of hand...then calling others in to talk to the offending party can work. Otherwise, I wont even budge as I will feel insulted. I can proudly say...since then, we have not called in any third party. Every issue is thrashed out between us. And our families respect us. |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by farem: 9:06am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37: But the guy is six-pack, tall and dark, mobile and can speak cool English,7-inches rod and hot-like-hell premarital sex (You vowed that bed satisfaction was a priority) . Those were the things you were looking for. if you have paid a little more attention (and not allowing what your papa and uncles themselves may not possess themselves, you would have seen it clearly and made an informed decision. Pls adjust to the new reality while you still enjoy those fantasies of yours. |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by nkwuocha: 9:17am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Una don start.It seems you married a highly emotional man  .You can use that guy to your advantage of you're a smart woman. He is petty, that's why you must continue to pet him as a wife, it can be frustrating but until you start behaving like the man in the house, you won't overcome. Since he loves doing the reporting, just be doing the begging after serious scolding from you. Make sure you scold him for reporting you to outsiders before begging him. I just imagined the reaction of my wife if I report her to her mother. .That cray cray She will make mockery of me the whole week that I will start asking my blokus if it still has the grace of being called a man.4 Likes |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by eyinjuege: 9:40am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37: If he won't listen, and continues just let him be. He will soon be embarrassed one day by the same people he always runs to talk about his affairs to. It's just a matter of time. Most people have their own problems, and would get tired of him always coming to stress them out with his own 'problems. Meanwhile, you just have to develop a thick skin to his ways, and try not to be embarrassed by it. If people call you about it, just quickly/ abruptly change the topic to more mundane things. Always try to communicate, and if you have a problem with him let him know there and then. He forgot your anniversary? Oh well, s#it happens. I can barely remember what month we're in these days[s][/s] Just remind him there and then, and vent your displeasure. PURPOSELY not wishing him a hbd isn't nice cos it shows you're a bit vindictive, totally unnecessary. Different thing if you forgot. But then, no need reporting to 3rd parties his wife refused to send bday wishes, also unnecessary. He can equally take up the mantle of prayer in your home. Everyone has periods they lapse, and if you guys are so spiritual, tell him to stand in the gap for you. Oh well, you guys will live. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by classical15(m): 10:55am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37:Your marriage is still very young hence you need to give more time for him to get better by making adjustments. Don't even think of holding a continuous quarrel or grudge with him as this will stress you out cos you need him more now than ever ... caring for a baby requires alot of support. What to do: Make up your mind to do your best for the marriage to work. Discuss the issue with your husband under a relaxed (not tensed) atmosphere. Tell him how that you see him as your 'head' and thus value his corrections/observations more than that of a third party. Tell him that reporting family issues to outsiders makes it appear as if he doesn't know what he is doing ( he might not know truly tho) and that you won't want anyone to look down on him as a husband that is clueless. On your part, you need to apologize to him for the 'revenge mission' you did and promise him to respect him and be loyal(that's submission). Remember you both have a responsibility to always work at it. That's how a home is built. Lastly, join young couple's forum: a vaible one. It will help you both. Shalom |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by Chubhie: 11:21am On Jul 13, 2017 |
Both of you have no business being in marriage?More like teenagers in marriage? perhaps with time you both would adjust into it? |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by abescom: 11:58am On Jul 13, 2017 |
psalms37: You are lucky I am able to find this post. I am just somehow interested in your case because I have been there. My advise to you, don't be fooled by what anyone, including myself will tell you on this forum. Many of those saying rubbish are not married and those who are married ( few ) are just patching and padding their homes. Now to the meat of it all. I need to ask more questions ( I am sorry but it is necessary ) 1. Was he a nagger when you were courting? 2. Aside he complaining to your folks about not praying and you forgetting ( deliberately ) his birthday what else has he complained about? And as for you forgetting his birthday deliberately, that's wrong, very wrong of you. It is a marriage not a competition. This similar issue almost ended my marriage. I am not here to criticise you but that is a no no. You can only win a man back by respecting him. You can wish him happy birthday, make him happy and let him know you didn't like he forgetting your wedding anniversary rather than revenging. Because of that singular act things have got very bad but not out of control. Do you mind if we talk over the phone? If you don't mind, send me your number privately. I have followed you. But if you don't mind it here, answer the questions above, we will work out something and by GOD's grace it will end well for your marriage. Don't give up. The first few years is often like that according to people who know. Your marriage is not the worst and even if it is, it is still very repairable unless you do not love your husband any more or do not want the marriage any more. |
| Re: Advise Me My Husband Is A Tattletale by abescom: 12:06pm On Jul 13, 2017 |
joyAA:If it is a new habit of the husband, I think the OP has done something that has made him stonewall her ( somewhat ) and resort to reporting to her folks. My wife won't listen to me too a while back, until I brought it to her parents and when that won't work, it got to nairaland ( which is also a member ) and I DELIBERATELY made her stumble upon it ( even though I used another moniker ) the blasting she got and to seat up. She was hurting me, the whole world was telling her it was wrong until she saw couple of people stylishly ( I feel sheepish saying this ) trying to chyke up her husband here before she knew it to be a crime. The OP may be in the same boat. MAY, not certainly. |
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