"Wife submit to your husband or "husband love your wife"...which really is tougher?? OK...I know deep down you must have responded with the "wives submit to your husband phrase". Fair enough, it is actually not easy to lay down your desires, wants and needs as the case may be as a woman. I mean we are all humans and we all enjoy doing what makes us happy (who doesn't). Infact, when I was younger, I used to always say that Male and female were formed the same way so there was no way I was going to accept one gender boss over the other....lol ( yes I was seriously angry with all the men in the world).

Well needless to say...the issue of "woman submission" is well flogged by most church pastors. I mean they lay so much emphasis on this already. Yes, we hear the theory of wives having to submit everywhere. In some serious cases, some women are not even allowed to lead prayers even in the family altar or come up with useful suggestions for the growth and development of the family ( I mean who are you to that when the Bible had told you to submit...in their own interpretation) Eph 5:22-23.

Please try not to get me wrong...I am 100% in support of wives submitting to their husbands. It is scriptural, biblical and besides two people cannot drive a car at the same time. As a matter of fact, I personally cannot stand a man who can not actively be at the forefront in handling family affairs because as a woman, I was not created to be the leader (at least the stress was lifted off the shoulders of women way back from creation...lol).

So with that clarified, my only amazement or should I say concern lies in the fact that very little or no emphasis is placed on the role of the man "Husbands love your wife" (seriously, even most church pastors never really educate future husbands on what this entails).

In my own point of view, I believe "Husbands love your wife" is the tougher of the two. How you may ask...well I would try to explain it as best as I can. So What exactly is this love duty bestowed on a husband from scriptures?? Please cut off some crappy definitions of love we usually give.


1 cor 13:4-8 gives the true definition of the love a man was charged to give his wife. infact it expatiates that short phrase some preachers never really address. I also got to find out that "loving your wife" is much more work than "submitting to your husband" (as usual God always leaves the harder work for the stronger vessel).

So here is what loving your wife entails (1 cor 13:4-cool. Love is patient (this means that when your wife starts her impatient complaint...yea sometimes female creatures can be very annoying like that) you are to remain calm and in control (no hitting, no insults etc). This shows that way back from the days of scriptures, a woman has been known to exhibit traits that would require patience (serious one) and that was why God gave the man the responsibility to love (remain patient).

Love is also kind ( that means you should be kind to your wife at all times) what is kindness? Help her, assist her, be there for her as a husband...you name all those little things that actually sound unimportant but actually depicts true kindness.

Love is also not envious (should in case your wife becomes very successful...would you tell her to quit that business or job simply because you may be slightly jealous and cannot stand her being as equally successful as you are?)

Love does not boast neither is it proud ( yes...as a husband, you do not have to keep repeating how much money you spend in taking care of the home and her inclusive in case you have a wife that is not working. Do not make her feel like a piece of trash)...simply put, love does not dishonor others.

Love is also not self seeking ( so it's more like a man is commanded to do what makes his significant other happy rather. A man should not be self centered that he becomes caught up with pursuing his own desires/ needs. In other word he must work at putting his wife's happiness first...sad but true...the "husband love your wife" phrase just happens to be this deep gentle man).

Love is also not easily angered ( I won't even lie...your wife would do so many annoying thing and you would just wonder what exactly is controlling her at that point in time) but it remains a duty for a husband to remain calm and be in control (you are commanded to resist any form of physical or emotional abuse at such trying moments...lol) at least thats if you are a husband fulfilling his own part of the deal.


1 cor 13:4-8 further goes on to expatiate that this love you are to have for your wife should never delight in evil. This love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and also keeps no record of wrongs. This simply means that a husband must learn to trust his wife (don't suspect her of cheating on you with that cute guy in her office simply because they are in friendly terms and you are slightly insecure about it). You are also compelled to forgive and forget her wrongs as a husband ( don't keep track of the number of times she has mistakenly put excess salt or pepper in your soup...lol).

The deepest part about the love a man was commanded to have for his wife in that 1 cor 13:4-8 is the fact that love is said to never fail (oh boy, don't even try to say you have fallen out of love with your wife as a husband...lol) it says prophecies would fail, even this heavy speaking in tongues spirit filled Christians do while praying would cease/fade. But the calling of love God had given a husband to showcase to his wife is compelled to live for ever ( till death do you part in this case that is, come what may happen...what she does or doesn't do...divorce is not an option...that is, it is your job as the husband and leader to have you both work on it...guide her...correct her...change also if need be in securing that you fulfill your part of the deal). Remember love never fails and as a husband you have been commanded to "love".

I do hope the church expatiates on these teachings someday and equally educate both parties on the depth of what they have been commanded from scriptures. Trust me if both parties are equally taught to fulfill their own part of the contract...or better put this mutual commandment (and not just the one sided teaching they dwell on this days). We would have much more happier homes. So before you kneel down and give that lady an engagement ring, ask yourself if you are really ready to do the serious work love entails (forget the feelings) and ask her if she is willing to submit to your leadership for the rest of her life.

So at this point I ask again, which is the tougher of the two, "wives submit to your husbands" or "husbands love your wife" ?

http://diaryofalovergirl..com.ng

1st, the epistle is too long

2nd, anybody who comes here and says one is tougher than the other is not only unwise, but not mature enough for marriage yet. Including you op. Your business at this stage and age with all the life experience you've gathered both from yourself and from people around you, this isn't what is next for you to start canvassing about.

If you still see the role of a man and a woman in marriage as a competitive thing, you will certainly be overwhelmed by the challenges of marriage.. the most little ones sef.

Playing ur role properly shd be ur headache and not which is tougher.

Your business is to start preparing yourself for what it takes in spite of the wrong instincts even our parents may have made us believe about marriage, to deliver our responsibilities as God desires it (not just as our partner desires it)...that's what is strong enough to pull thru thick and thin.

When you have this desire, then God will answer your prayer for the right man or woman who will fuel ur decision to make God happy as long as marriage is concerned. That's my view.

i)I don't believe any is tougher, it only seems tough because of the egocentric thinking of parties involved. Can two work together except they be agreed?.

ii)Be positive: some people enter marriages with a wrong mindset, thereby exaggerating or misinterpreting every action.

iii)When you don't love your spouse, effortless actions would seem difficult. Everything will be like a competition to you, because the foundation is bad or has been weakened.

iv)Nigeria is a very religious country, but na we do pass. You can't fornicate, lie, steal, bribe and cheat , see nothing wrong with it. You get married and submission/love would be your favourite bible passages. All based on same Holy Bible you disregarded all year.

v)I don't think it's all about church teachings. Every sane human being knows what's right from wrong. If the church preaches and humans refuse to apply a little bit or fairness in their dealings with people, we would make no progress. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated, that's a whole lot concise to me.

Loving your wife is not tough.Submitting to your husband is not tough.

It's hard to find a woman who will not submit to a husband that loves her.It's also hard to find a man who will not love a wife who submits to him.

Every spouse should play their own part to ensure a happy and peaceful home.

Thanks so much for the contribution
It was a blog made for everyone to give his or her own ideas..
Those where my own ideas

PaperLace:
i)I don't believe any is tougher, it only seems tough because of the egocentric thinking of parties involved. Can two work together except they be agreed?.

ii)Be positive: some people enter marriages with a wrong mindset, thereby exaggerating or misinterpreting every action.

iii)When you don't love your spouse, effortless actions would seem difficult. Everything will be like a competition to you, because the foundation is bad or has been weakened.

iv)Nigeria is a very religious country, but na we do pass. You can't fornicate, lie, steal, bribe and cheat , see nothing wrong with it. You get married and submission/love would be your favourite bible passages. All based on same Holy Bible you disregarded all year.

v)I don't think it's all about church teachings. Every sane human being knows what's right from wrong. If the church preaches and humans refuse to apply a little bit or fairness in their dealings with people, we would make no progress. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated, that's a whole lot concise to me.

You are so on point.
It's a two way thing
Let everyone play his part

Janeyinspires:
Loving your wife is not tough.Submitting to your husband is not tough.

It's hard to find a woman who will not submit to a husband that loves her.It's also hard to find a man who will not love a wife who submits to him.

Every spouse should play their own part to ensure a happy and peaceful home.