I'll try to make this brief. I met her in 2005 got married in 2010 but everything i knew about her characters Changed after that... From nagging to making life very difficult for me to cope...

I tried to adjust and told myself "this is what it to be called a real man" then i was in the force mostly posted on night guard 6pm to 6am so when i got home i would try to relax when it's 7am my wife will tell me to leave the bed cos she wanted to rearrange the bed neatly so I'd stand but she wouldn't let me use the bed back claiming I'd rough it lol... After few minutes she'd tell me to get up from the chair in the sitting room that she wanted to sweep. Hehe i was like " i don enter one chance ohhh".

Sometimes if i got annoyed before i said one she'd already said four but one mistake i made was that i used to tell her that i can never ever beat my wife even for once. Sometimes she would even tell me that I was only scared of being beaten by a woman not that i didn't want to beat her, if I'm a man enough i should let us give it a trial lol.

I tried to do an inter state transfer just to be far away from cos after our first child things only get worse but then there was an embargo on transfer, i tried to be transferred to another local government but it wasn't successful. I took it as a shame on me to drive her out even with my little kid so i decided to travel out of the country after my visa came out i resigned but i felt guilty with the idea of leaving without informing her so I told her 2days to my departure though she was happy about it but insisted i must give her money to rent another house before i left, i pleaded with her to continue living there that later I'll send her money to rent another place but she said NO... I gave her the money, later to the market and buy foodstuffs that i knew could take them up to 2months at least, i also gave her what i could afford as "pocket money". It's not even up to 2weeks over i left that she started calling me that they were hungry and no money to buy food i was shocked "so i never escape?" I was annoyed "after you almost finished all my money back home?" hmmm "ok no problem use out of the money i gave u to rent another apartment" she said no she'd already given it to her friend to keep it.

She didn't even ask if got a job or not every time she called it'd be argument about money. I told her to go to my mum then to collect money but she refused saying my mum wasn't the one that came to marry her...

Later i stop to pick her calls and later changed my number but the more i tried to ignore her the more i missed her and my kid who i love to hear her voice always. I called her back after 2months, sent money to her(a big mistake) and that made her to demand more and more with hot pressure. I got tired of life didn't know what else to do and I've not been earning much work permit and co. Still under processing i decided to go do some casual works(labour work) the money i got 1st and 2nd day in the 3rd day luck ran against me and and i was arrested for working without permit i had the option to pay fine though but i couldn't afford the amount so i came back to Nigeria.

The most shocking things was that without informing her of what happened or my coming home she handed over a boxers " you're welcome this is what i bought for you" i asked how did she know i was coming she said she just feel like buying it. Later i told her what happened and how she was the cause but she wasn't remorseful rather she said i was lying against her and I've never seen anything this is just the beginning.

Backed in Nigeria no more work, things was hard but I'm not a lazy type but i refused to live with her but not willing to leave her. I decided to stay in another state, found something to do, got enough money years later and travelled out again but this time i didn't tell her anything up to a year now but i do send money. She sent a message through social media that she heard I'm living with a woman somewhere else so if i don't show up in 3months an end will come to our marriage.

I forgot to hard she works, has a shop. What should i do cos i can go home now and i love her and don't want to have 2nd wife in my record I've not even cheated just for once.

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........

Well you are confused bro.your case is like ipob that want biafra, and also lagos.
hold on or let go choose one.
good luck!

taoheedoriloye:
Well you are confused bro.your case is like ipob that want biafra, and also lagos.
hold on or let go should one.
good luck!

hmmm thanks

I swear, this one pass me

taoheedoriloye:
Well you are confused bro.your case is like ipob that want biafra, and also lagos.
hold on or let go should one.
good luck!

lol

Sir, I don't understand u, u dnt seem happy living under the same roof with this woman, she has never been a loving and understanding wife, and u prefer staying away from her to always avoid her trouble, she is an unreasonable woman who cannot even plan life with her spouse.

u love her, yes, but Love alone cannot sustain this marriage, she does not even care about u.
as a woman I am wondering what kind of human she is,from what u have described in your write up.
Pls let her go. except u have not been totally truthful in this write up

I just feel like fainting now. Bros na devil you marry so.

To the woman........

ur the problem

guy, she's a jazz woman

go meet a greater dibia
cut off ties with her and see ur problem come to an end
about ur baby

go for him when u make money

You don't want to live with her yet you don't want her to Leave? You have repeatedly abandoned her physically and financially.
You have repeatedly made plans without her yet you say she is the one that nags and doesn't hear?
As long as your child is under 18yrs, you are REQUIRED by law to provide financially for that child....whether you remain with the mother or not

Avsegzy:
I'll try to make this brief. I met her in 2005 got married in 2010 but everything i knew about her characters Changed after that... From nagging to making life very difficult for me to cope...
I tried to adjust and told myself "this is what it to be called a real man" then i was in the force mostly posted on night guard 6pm to 6am so when i got home i would try to relax when it's 7am my wife will tell me to leave the bed cos she wanted to rearrange the bed neatly so I'd stand but she wouldn't let me use the bed back claiming I'd rough it lol... After few minutes she'd tell me to get up from the chair in the sitting room that she wanted to sweep. Hehe i was like " i don enter one chance ohhh" sometimes if i got annoyed before i said one she'd already said four but one mistake i made was that i used to tell her that i can never ever beat my wife even for once. Sometimes she would even tell me that I was only scared of being beaten by a woman not that i didn't want to beat her,if I'm a man enough i should let us give it a trial lol.
I tried to do an inter state transfer just to be far away from cos after our first child things only get worse but then there was an embargo on transfer, i tried to be transferred to another local government but it wasn't successful. I took it as a shame on me to drive her out even with my little kid so i decided to travel out of the country after my visa came out i resigned but i felt guilty with the idea of leaving without informing her so I told her 2days to my departure though she was happy about it but insisted i must give her money to rent another house before i left,i pleaded with her to continue living there that later I'll send her money to rent another place but she said NO... I gave her the money,later to the market and buy foodstuffs that i knew could take them upto 2months at least,i also gave her what i could afford as "pocket money". It's not even upto 2weeks over i left that she started calling me that they were hungry and no money to buy food i was shocked "so i never escape?" I was annoyed "after you almost finished all my money back home?" hmmm "ok no problem use out of the money i gave u to rent another apartment" she said no she'd already given it to her friend to keep it. She didn't even ask if got a job or not every time she called it'd be argument about money.i told her to go to my mum then to collect money but she refused saying my mum wasn't the one that came to marry her... Later i stop to pick her calls and later changed my number but the more i tried to ignore her the more i missed her and my kid who i love to hear her voice always. I called her back after 2months, sent money to her(a big mistake) and that made her to demand more and more with hot pressure. I got tired of life didn't know what else to do and I've not been earning much work permit and co. Still under processing i decided to go do some casual works(labour work) the money i got 1st and 2nd day in the 3rd day luck ran against me and and i was arrested for working without permit i had the option to pay fine though but i couldn't afford the amount so i came back to Nigeria.the most shocking things was that without informing her of what happened or my coming home she handed over a boxers " you're welcome this is what i bought for you" i asked how did she know i was coming she said she just feel like buying it. Later i told her what happened and how she was the cause but she wasn't remorseful rather she said i was lying against her and I've never seen anything this is just the beginning.
Backed in Nigeria no more work,things was hard but I'm not a lazy type but i refused to live with her but not willing to leave her. I decided to stay in another state, found something to do,got enough money years later and travelled out again but this time i didn't tell her anything.up to a year now but i do send money. She sent a message through social media that she heard I'm living with a woman somewhere else so if i don't show up in 3months an end will come to our marriage. I forgot to hard she works, has a shop. What should i do cos i can go home now and i love her and don't want to have 2nd wife in my record I've not even cheated just for once

your wife is evil, the best thing for you to do is to divorce her before she kills you!

Sometimes...it is OK for people to know what you have in mind to do OP..

I believe that before you decide to write this, you got plan A.. what do you think or have in mind..

if you give them a little infor of what you plan to do, then they can guide u right...by telling u do it this way or that way with concrete reasons

You need to see a psychiatric doctor....

I'm sorry but you need help.

Indecisive and feeble minded man.... You blow hot and cold at the same time.... No wonder the woman takes you on long fruitless rides.

Man up and take a decision..... Ignore her and your child... Let her raise the child till you are financially buoyant to take after him/her....... Never you ever deprive yourself of your happiness and peace of mind because of your child and marriage.

Move on.... Nkeiruka

1) Paragraphs are really there for a reason. Use them.

2) she's supposedly bad. So what is the problem with her leaving?

More to the Point. You're a terrible person. The only thing you said she did to you was dressing the bed while you're still in it or telling you to move when she wants to sweep. Not ideal but not enough to label her as a bad wife.

That's why you told her two days before leaving the country and abandoned her afterwards? Really?

I'm sure the only reason you came back was because your work permit failed.

keepingmum:
You don't want to live with her yet you don't want her to Leave? You have repeatedly abandoned her physically and financially.
You have repeatedly made plans without her yet you say she is the one that nags and doesn't hear?
As long as your child is under 18yrs, you are REQUIRED by law to provide financially for that child....whether you remain with the mother or not

I agree i abandoned her physically but financially is a big NO and that can never be part of her problem now cos i sent money every month and some time twice in a month

ikemesit4477:
your wife is evil, the best thing for you to do is to divorce her before she kills you!

How's she evil?

Richy4:
Sometimes...it is OK for people to know what you have in mind to do OP..

I believe that before you decide to write this, you got plan A.. what do you think or have in mind..

if you give them a little infor of what you plan to do, then they can guide u right...by telling u do it this way or that way with concrete reasons

Thanks. Actually my plan is to take her as my cross,I wish to tell her where i am and give her my number cos i use to feel guilty of leaving them just like that without letting her know my whereabouts but I'm just scare to do that

cococandy:

How's she evil?

why was she buying boxers, while her husband didn't even inform her that he is coming back, she said she just feel like buying it, what do you think?

cococandy:
1) Paragraphs are really there for a reason. Use them.

2) she's supposedly bad. So what is the problem with her leaving?

More to the Point. You're a terrible person. The only thing you said she did to you was dressing the bed while you're still in it or telling you to move when she wants to sweep. Not ideal but not enough to label her as a bad wife.

That's why you told her two days before leaving the country and abandoned her afterwards? Really?

I'm sure the only reason you came back was because your work permit failed.

If you're a man and still single I'll just pray for you to witness same thing as practical not this theory you're reading,..then you'll come back and give a better comment

ikemesit4477:
why was she buying boxers, while her husband didn't even inform her that he is coming back, she said she just feel like buying it, what do you think?

and a red coloured one which gave it more meaning

cococandy:
1) Paragraphs are really there for a reason. Use them.

2) she's supposedly bad. So what is the problem with her leaving?

More to the Point. You're a terrible person. The only thing you said she did to you was dressing the bed while you're still in it or telling you to move when she wants to sweep. Not ideal but not enough to label her as a bad wife.

That's why you told her two days before leaving the country and abandoned her afterwards? Really?

I'm sure the only reason you came back was because your work permit failed.

and mind you my work permit didn't fail i went to another place to work cos there they pay per day so that i can send the money to her to stop the pressure

BlackDBagba:
You need to see a psychiatric doctor....

I'm sorry but you need help.

why do i?

Avsegzy:
Thanks. Actually my plan is to take her as my cross,I wish to tell her where i am and give her my number cos i use to feel guilty of leaving them just like that without letting her know my whereabouts but I'm just scare to do that

That is ok if you have decided to take her as your cross my brother..@ least we know what we are working on with this new infor..

So the next question is, when are u planning to lift that cross...

Remember there's an innocent kid involved in all these..do not take much time...But if u are not ready mentally to face her, financial wise, u can use your parent to be a middle man to support your kid...whatever money u are sending, use your parent to deliver it to them

Then when u are ready to take up your cross, nothing will be stopping u...

But bro.. Everyone deserve to be happy in life. if she is not happy to be with u anymore..please let her go so she can find happiness...Do not stay away and expect her to live the life of a widow..

If u want to go towards the roots of my wife gave me a red boxers thing its just might not be what u think,it just might be a coincidence...So remove ur mind from that cos u too might have hurt someone in the past that is trying to use ur wwife/marriage to get back at u,so dont look at it from that point.
Sending ur wife money for her upkeep and that of ur baby does not equates to u been there when ur girl is growing up,men shld learn that and dont put all the raising up of a child on women.
If u wanna leave her then do and stop being a whiner, only if truly she is doing all these without u also reciprocating or causing the ish.
Lastly marriage is for the forgiving adult.

Richy4:



That is ok if you have decided to take her as your cross my brother..@ least we know what we are working on with this new infor..

So the next question is, when are u planning to lift that cross...

Remember there's an innocent kid involved in all these..do not take much time...But if u are not ready mentally to face her, financial wise, u can use your parent to be a middle man to support your kid...whatever money u are sending, use your parent to deliver it to them

Then when u are ready to take up your cross, nothing will be stopping u...

But bro.. Everyone deserve to be happy in life. if she is not happy to be with u anymore..please let her go so she can find happiness...Do not stay away and expect her to live the life of a widow..

thank you very much i really appreciate your contribution. God bless you

Evacroft:
If u want to go towards the roots of my wife gave me a red boxers thing its just might not be what u think,it just might be a coincidence...So remove ur mind from that cos u too might have hurt someone in the past that is trying to use ur wwife/marriage to get back at u,so dont look at it from that point.
Sending ur wife money for her upkeep and that of ur baby does not equates to u been there when ur girl is growing up,men shld learn that and dont put all the raising up of a child on women.
If u wanna leave her then do and stop being a whiner, only if truly she is doing all these without u also reciprocating or causing the ish.
Lastly marriage is for the forgiving adult.

hmm thanks

Avsegzy:
thank you very much i really appreciate your contribution. God bless you

Bless u too bro and best of luck

Hmmmm.... I still think there are two sides to every story. Op just came and told us his sob story, I believe his wife should have hers too and in the absence of her own version I will just advice the Op to quit 'fleeing' from his wife and talk things out, tell her your frustrations, let her know you purposely sidelined her from plans cos of of her 'supposedly' bad karata, and let her see what moving out could do to ur daughter and after everything give her a heartfelt apology and try re-igniting the spark that left the relationship.....and for the current hard time with ur job, it will pass and of course will pass faster when two goods heads(op and wife) sincerely come together my 1%

You are a wicked, selfish, and a self centered person.
Sit there and be looking for pity party
Wicked man