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Marriage And Marrying More Than One Wife, Mariage Fallacy* by Horlertoungy(m): 11:51am On Aug 18, 2017 |
Written
--- by Tola Adeniyi
If we Christians keep insisting on this fallacy called
One-man/One-wife, too many ladies will end up
sleeping with different married men secretly while
trying to make money and waiting for their own
husband. Too many ladies will remain in their parents
house till their 30s and some will live alone till their
40s. Most women who lose their husbands in their 40s
and 50s will never find another man to marry them
legitimately, they will end up sleeping around with
different men.
GET IT RIGHT: Men and women are not equal and God
never made us to be equal. Lets stop adopting all
these American law that force Christian men to
marry only one wife, while leaving several Christian
ladies without husband, leading to many of them
doing "bad things" in secret.
Sincerely, I was at a Church Service recently for
Widows and a Pastor who wanted to give food items to
the over 100 widows said: "Any woman in this service
who can boldly say she has not opened her legs for
any man since her husband died should come out to
the front". Sadly, the number of women, in their 40s
and 50s, who came out were less than 20.
That is the reality that we Christians are hiding from.
Full details below...
Read this very interesting piece by Tola Adeniyi: THE
AGONY OF MONOGAMY
It was at the church service for the 90th birthday of
the legendary matriarch of the Awo dynasty Chief
Dr Hannah Dideolu Awolowo in Ikenne that the
thoughts that prompted this article began. Some well
known highly placed gentlemen and their wives were
called upon to partake in the wine sipping, bread
breaking ritual called Holy Communion. As soon as
these respectable ladies and gentlemen, all of them
past age 70, and amongst whom were renowned
professors, high court judges, legal luminaries and
business moguls, finished their spiritual blessing and
were returning to their seats, they caught a pitiable
sight in their over-flowing garb of hypocrisy.
They wore forlorn mien plastered with furrowed
frowned faces like some one afflicted with putrid
smell of heavy dose of fart. They looked as if they
were mourning a three-year-old boy mistakenly killed
by his own father, or the passing of a poor woman
who has just succumbed to excruciatingly painful
cancer.
They clung to their wives as if they were newly
wedded. I temporarily forgot that I was in a holy
church, the spiritual enclave of Christians. I almost
laughed my head off because I knew each of the
‘holy’ ‘monogamous’ men intimately and by Jove, I
knew of their second, third or fourth wives/liaisons/
mistresses with whom they had sired several children.
To the whole world they were champions of monogamy,
but to their hearts and conscience they were
celebrated polygamists, or at best, serial
monogamists. Pshaw!
I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a
lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going
through life pretending to be what you are not.
This is the sort of agony a lot of the so-called
monogamists go through all their lives. The series of
lies they sell to their wives, and the double life they
present to their pastors and church leaders, most of
whom are actually equally guilty of hypocrisy and
double life living.
This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise
monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe
in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have
been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years
and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I
happen also to be the promoter along with some
friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which
is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of
marriage and family values.
The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and
pain associated with embracing false notions which
are really not observed by any culture in the world,
and to advise those who erroneously sentence
themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness
because they were deceived to believe that there is
some utopia somewhere called monogamy.
I am very much aware that this article will generate
a lot of controversy most especially from those who
live holier-than-thou life and have continued to
deceive the world that they are upholders of a
doctrine that is not supported by true and
enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.
The White Men, I am yet to see any human being
whose skin colour is white like that of chalk, came and
told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the
cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such
lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them
with values which they themselves never believed in or
truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and
several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe
who had more than one wife in addition of a string of
wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as
wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions
of wife minus name.
God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed
to having two women in his life, with the one in the
other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old
daughter at the time he passed on.
I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the
continents of the world and I make bold to say with
all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet
earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian,
Russian, British, American and other Caucasians
routinely visit their other wives [called by other
names] with whom they have children. But back in the
homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are
monogamists!
If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous, He or
She would not have made the pigeon the only
monogamous creature.
The cultures that practice polygamy had always known
that at any given time, the number of available
marriageable women far out number available men
plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has
money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-
year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological
limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a
factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the
shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married
as second wife to a man who can afford to share
life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman
leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because
took a second wife and end up being numberless in
the hands of several men with whom she naturally
shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly
understands?
All the women who should go and marry but are saying
they do not want to share their man with another
woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current
boyfriends with several other women. Where is the
logic?
The argument that children in a polygamous house are
always at each other’s throat does not hold water.
Many siblings of monogamous families are known to
have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable
squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than
children from different mothers.
The agony suffered by both men and women in the
hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling
for comfort. In 2002, 502 Reverend mothers were
reported to have died while procuring abortion in
Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the
unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend
fathers having children and sodomising young men in
their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy?
Why should the world continue to live the life of
Ostrich?
A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives
from his wife because his religion would not permit of
it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of
it. At his funeral service, other wives surfaced and
the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the
grace of God that prevented double interment that
day!
The Western world which had not learnt the art of
living amicably with more than one partner under the
same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages,
divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that
another woman can move in should not be measure of
standard for the world. Thank God Hillary Clinton in
the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much
wiser. They refused to allow "some indiscretion" on
the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages.
There was a well known American actor who passed on
about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their
numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule
the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women
were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as
records show, the man had 11 wives!
Society, especially we Nigerians just like Kenyans and
others have done, must start to rethink this issue of
pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in
the not-too-distant future we do not end up with
millions of unmarried women whose life style would be
worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose
fathers would |
Re: Marriage And Marrying More Than One Wife, Mariage Fallacy* by Prognose: 1:40pm On Aug 18, 2017 |
Ok Consider adding paragraphs to your post. It will make it easier to read. |
Re: Marriage And Marrying More Than One Wife, Mariage Fallacy* by DonOms(m): 3:12pm On Aug 18, 2017 |
Horlertoungy, you should edit your post and make it more appealing to read. @Topic: I quite agree with the logic of Tola Adeniyi. The very idea of monogamy is great but of what sense is it if the society uses it to create a set of 'covert prostitutes' and 'polygamous men' parading themselves as monogamous by all standards of culture and society but not God's? Truth is, the need to satisfy the society (and to uphold culture) have made people hypocritical; and before things get out of hand, we should begin to review our values and ways. |
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