Okebe Philips wrote :

The proliferation of rape cases in Nigeria in recent times is worrisome and the victim blaming is an eyesore .

Victim blaming in a rape case is the height of callousness. It is completely ridiculous. When there’s a rape case some people are quick to ask;

What was she putting on? Was she properly dressed? Was she putting on a bra? And other silly questions to shift part of the blame to the abused. In this same country and on this virtual space, we’ve read about children being raped at a tender age. Some of them as little as 6 months. Where they indecently dressed too? What about the northern part of the country and other Islamic nations with stringent “moral” dress codes, where they cover all sensitive parts of their body and still get raped.

Una see baa, in reality, abuse is a conscious choice made by the abuser. Abusers have a choice in how they react to their partner’s actions.

For every 10 reported rape cases in Nigeria, there are 1000 unreported cases swept under the carpet. You know why? Some of them are afraid they’ll be blamed for getting raped.

Regardless of their actions, no one deserves to be sexually abused. In fact, putting the blame for the abuser on the victim is a way to manipulate the victim and other people. Sexual abusers will tell the victim, “You made me mad,” or, “You gave me erection,” or will try to shift the burden by saying, “Everyone acts like that.” Most victims try to placate and please their abusive partners in order to de-escalate the violence. The abuser chooses to abuse, and bears full responsibility for the sexual assault.

Rape victims are first humans before a girl child or boy child, man or woman. As concerned humans, we must put concerted efforts to put an end or reduce to the barest minimum; “rape culture and victim blaming ”

How do we achieve this?

– Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women

– Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or trivializing rape

– If a friend says they have been raped, take your friend seriously and be supportive

-Think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, and violence

-Be respectful of others’ physical space even in casual situations

-Let rape survivors know that it is not their fault

-Hold abusers accountable for their actions: do not let them make excuses like blaming the victim, alcohol, or drugs for their behavior

-Always communicate with sexual partners and do not assume consent

-Define your own manhood or womanhood. Do not let stereotypes shape your actions.

– Avoid underage children. Just because they’re naive doesn’t make them objects for sexual gratification.

– Be an Active Bystander!

Source: http://ogbongeupdates.com/its-on-us-all-of-us-to-put-a-stop-to-sexual-assault-and-victim-blaming-okebe-philips-cries-out/