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How Do I Handle This - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 7:45am On Sep 13, 2017
Ameeria:
Na wa o. Brother in-law, mother in-law and aunty in-law , all in the same house! Your in-laws are so shameless. You have more than tried, call a meeting and bare your mind. I mean call them all in a meeting... you are the head of your home.

Personally, I see no reason calling for a meeting with people I am doing a favour. Brother in law's issue is manageable as I was carried along and I agreed he come put up with us temporary, which I made clear that it's just for a year, now it's 3 years and counting.

For sister in law, she just have to go as I am getting mad each time I see her or the child. Imagine the child even trying to personalise my child's toy and other issues I won't want to mention. And the mom will see nothing wrong with it.
Re: How Do I Handle This by ibkn(m): 8:27am On Sep 13, 2017
wow. Op you have patience. I don't. no In-laws in my house. siblings too. maximum 2 weeks. even my mum or her mum. 2 weeks. I tell you before you come. after 2 weeks carry your load and waka.
for Mother in law, time for her to return home except she is a widow and even sef your wife has elder ones
Bil let him know its December not January and no extension of time
SIl no need for a meeting on Friday tell the mother(not your wife) that on Sunday evening you don't want her in your house. she will address it. she to was once a young wife

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Re: How Do I Handle This by babythug(f): 8:31am On Sep 13, 2017
ahnie:
many are mad,few are yet to remove their cloths for proper madness.

If I were you,I wee just ignore.Goodmorning ma'am.

Good morning....

I completely agree with you!!!!
Re: How Do I Handle This by egbaguy2: 4:03pm On Sep 13, 2017
I feel for you sir.....I wonder why these people ain't considerate one bit. I will advice the op to talk things out with the mother in law,allow her talk to the sister in law to leave. I hope and pray she,the MIL is very wise and sensible.
Re: How Do I Handle This by YesNo(m): 4:42pm On Sep 13, 2017
AFONAMARO:


The funny part is that the older brother cannot replace a dead bulb even in his own room he occupies. He even goes as far as taken food to work daily, not minding that he will eat when he returns.

Already informed wifey, that he will be leaving by December as I have tried.

Thanks a bunch

How do you expect them to leave? when there is steady food for them to eat and even take to work in flask. when they have become so comfy.

People like this will thank God for "touching your heart" to allow them to stay. in the start, They will do lots of "eye service" work in the house for you & your wife. Then, they become very comfortable cos they feel they have paid their dues and won your heart.

in the end, they will still be the very ones to spread bad news about you after all your sacrifice for them & people outside will never understand or even give you a chance to hear from you... especially if you & your inlaws are ibo tribe.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 5:14pm On Sep 13, 2017
YesNo:


How do you expect them to leave? when there is steady food for them to eat and even take to work in flask. when they have become so comfy.

People like this will thank God for "touching your heart" to allow them to stay. in the start, They will do lots of "eye service" work in the house for you & your wife. Then, they become very comfortable cos they feel they have paid their dues and won your heart.

in the end, they will still be the very ones to spread bad news about you after all your sacrifice for them & people outside will never understand or even give you a chance to hear from you... especially if you & your inlaws are ibo tribe.

My brother, the thing tire me, the guy is not even doing like someone that have plans to live on his own, or settle down. No sense of commitment or so, always laid back and relax.
Re: How Do I Handle This by YesNo(m): 5:42pm On Sep 13, 2017
AFONAMARO:


My brother, the thing tire me, the guy is not even doing like someone that have plans to live on his own, or settle down. No sense of commitment or so, always laid back and relax.

You better take him out for a stroll on a nice evening and be gisting happily. then you look him in his eyes and tell him with calmness that he needs to leave your house so you can be able to focus on your family. Tell him you wish he could stay longer but the time has come & it is time for him to walk the road all MEN must follow. Tell him he is welcome till December but he should use the time from now to start calling housing agent or his friend he can live with.

Look him in the eyes & tell him.

if he says he has already started making arrangements, be happy with him & ask him to tell you about the arrangement.

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This by mikedimeji(m): 6:14pm On Sep 13, 2017
baby124:
Only you, your wife, your baby and your wife's mother should be in that house. Her brother and sister with her son should either find their own place or relocate to their parents house. You are not their father. Or doesn't their mum have where she is coming from?

Why is your wife allowing her family to turn your house into a hotel? You need to start taking more money from your wife for upkeep of all her family members. Trust me she will chase them away after a week of doing this. I hope she is working to feed all of them.
U just said my mind, if them no get shame I won't allow such. Bros I blame u 150%. Once one of her relative is around that's all I can't have two of them living in my house at the same time even if I my house is 7 bedroom. Brother the way forward is forward either u close ur eye to say No or u turn ur back to say No the most important thing is u've said No. give her ultimatum to leave ur house, u are not their relative, u are just an inlaw.

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Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 7:00pm On Sep 13, 2017
mikedimeji:

U just said my mind, if them no get shame I won't allow such. Bros I blame u 150%. Once one of her relative is around that's all I can't have two of them living in my house at the same time even if I my house is 7 bedroom. Brother the way forward is forward either u close ur eye to say No or u turn ur back to say No the most important thing is u've said No. give her ultimatum to leave ur house, u are not their relative, u are just an inlaw.

Thanks for the input.
Re: How Do I Handle This by mdokaba1(m): 8:48pm On Sep 13, 2017
taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

Is this one also a human being Or a toad in human form.

Your brain needs more zoborodo.

Anofia Zamfara. undecided
Re: How Do I Handle This by generationz(f): 12:27am On Sep 14, 2017
taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

So the man is asking for solution and you want him to add fuel to fire smh
Re: How Do I Handle This by generationz(f): 12:35am On Sep 14, 2017
AFONAMARO:


My brother, this one pass wahala
Please don't yet throw her things out
Depending on the relationship the siblings have, since she is your wife's elder sis she might not be able to talk firmly to her thus not being able to pass the message across like you'll want it.


Sunday is a good day as everyone will be in a light mood, after church maybe after lunch you can call your sister in law aside, away from the others. Ask about her family issues and how far it is going. Then you tell her that it's not that you don't want them around o, in fact as everyone is here and keeping you and your wife company it's nice but as a young struggling man it is eating deep into your pocket and you would not like it to come to the day you can't provide for all of them.

Do this and see her reaction. You have to be as calm as possible too. I've squatted before and I tell you no one likes being in such position. Dialogue is a good weapon to settle brewing troubles.

Peace

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Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 5:02am On Sep 14, 2017
generationz:

Please don't yet throw her things out
Depending on the relationship the siblings have, since she is your wife's elder sis she might not be able to talk firmly to her thus not being able to pass the message across like you'll want it.


Sunday is a good day as everyone will be in a light mood, after church maybe after lunch you can call your sister in law aside, away from the others. Ask about her family issues and how far it is going. Then you tell her that it's not that you don't want them around o, in fact as everyone is here and keeping you and your wife company it's nice but as a young struggling man it is eating deep into your pocket and you would not like it to come to the day you can't provide for all of them.

Do this and see her reaction. You have to be as calm as possible too. I've squatted before and I tell you no one likes being in such position. Dialogue is a good weapon to settle brewing troubles.

Peace

Nice idea. But I see no brewing trouble here, how can she move into my house in disguise and have refused to at least talk to me about her intention to stay or so?
Re: How Do I Handle This by LekkiG: 12:13pm On Sep 14, 2017
Bro, things like this happen but my personal opinion is that u should not confront her or use rough words on her (no one knows tomorrow), allow your wife handle the situation since they are her siblings and give her a timeline, ur December timeline for the brother is too far, he is working but cannot not contribute showed how wicked, selfish and ungrateful he is, let him move immediately as he may be using his salary for unnecessary things while feeding on urs.

ur may stylishly change ur life style by coming home late and pretend to be drunk, do it everyday for one week and let your wife know u are keeping late because u are running away from trouble in ur house (Creg David voice), Nobi person go tell her to chase them all away,

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