Alright guys, MAN LAW!

For those who do not know what 'Man Law' is. . . . . .well, here it is:
Man Law are set of rules that ALL MEN must abide by. They are invisible yet ever powerful restrictions placed upon the actions of men that you SHOULD follow.

If you know any please spit.

I'll go first. . . . .

Real men don't use elliptical machines. Leave that to soccer moms

I saw this somewhere and it got me laughing out all day.

Under no circumstance is a man to ask another man how he looks

At no point must you sit next to a guy at the theatre/cinema if other seats are available.
Not even you best friend.

When taking a shower at the gym, using the urinals, in the locker room, or in the jail you must always look straight

OMO IBO:

When taking a shower at the gym, using the urinals, in the locker room, or in the jail you must always look straight

LMFAO!!!!!!
and also IF A CONVICT THROWS THE SOAP ON THE FLOOR, DO NOT BEND OVER TO PICK IT UP FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. LOL!!!

ok lets be serious, here are a few rules of mine:

1) never go for your best mates sister even if she is the finest thing on earth.
2) if i am on a date and its my car, I am driving however drunk i (we) may be.
3) never talk on the phone while having a dump.
4) if a man buys a woman a drink at the club, he has 10mins "exclusive" access to this woman,failure to abide by this rule will have any man/fool b.i.t.c.h slapped at a 45 degrees angle.
5) if my girl came to my place and i aint home, my homies should send her packing.
6) if my mates sees my main girl fooling with some other guy at the club, b.i.t.c.h slapping her at a 45 degrees angle is a necessity, failure to do so will make these mates loose their homie membership ON THE SPOT.
7) women are allowed on football sundays with the mates but they should be very quiet AND stand by their mens team
8 ) telling a man how your ex used to do you is forbidden, you can dream about it but dont let us know!
9) if mum goes out with us then she has "riding shotgun privileges" in the car over you (unless we are married for over 2yrs)
10) if i get into a fight over you(my gf), you better throw/pull/scratch something if you want to ride back in the car with me.

and the grand daddy of all rules: if we are having a three some (2guys 1 girl) under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should there be any contact of any kind between the guys. no feet/hand/back touching each other, no direct eye contact and no body fluid contact!

MRbrownJAY:

ok lets be serious, here are a few rules of mine:

1) never go for your best mates sister even if she is the finest thing on earth.
2) if i am on a date and its my car, I am driving however drunk i (we) may be.
3) never talk on the phone while having a dump.
4) if a man buys a woman a drink at the club, he has 10mins "exclusive" access to this woman,failure to abide by this rule will have any man/fool naughty woman slapped at a 45 degrees angle.
5) if my girl came to my place and i aint home, my homies should send her packing.
6) if my mates sees my main girl fooling with some other guy at the club, naughty woman slapping her at a 45 degrees angle is a necessity, failure to do so will make these mates loose their homie membership ON THE SPOT.
7) women are allowed on football sundays with the mates but they should be very quiet AND stand by their mens team
8 ) telling a man how your ex used to do you is forbidden, you can dream about it but dont let us know!
9) if mum goes out with us then she has "riding shotgun privileges" in the car over you (unless we are married for over 2yrs)
10) if i get into a fight over you(my gf), you better throw/pull/scratch something if you want to ride back in the car with me.

and the grand daddy of all rules: if we are having a three some (2guys 1 girl) under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should there be any contact of any kind between the guys. no feet/hand/back touching each other, no direct eye contact and no body fluid contact!

Dude, you just killed man.

I can't stop laughing. Bloody hell.

Co-sign everything above

I'll get some more.

You shall not block another man from getting puzzy under any circumstances, even if the said man is your worst enemy

A man must not share an umbrella with another man

On no account must a man type or say 'OMG' or 'Oh my God'

Man should refrain from eating strawberries, but if the man must, the said strawberries must NEVER be eaten in public.

here are a few more:
1) we can spend thousands of $$$ on a set of new wheels and, in the same week, buy you a 50$ bday present telling you that we aint got no money. we pay more attention to our cars than our women, get over it.

2) never try to turn a s.l.u.t/h.o.e into a wifey. everyone has their place in the ranking and the slut will always remain at the bottom of the scale BUT after a "unsuccessful" night out, she is the FIRST one to be called!

3) a man can hug another guy but the physical contact shouldnt last more than 1,5 seconds.anything above that is considered "gayish".

4) although its seems cool in sport on TV for 2 guys to tap each other on the butt, this should never be done in real life, EVER!!!!!!

5) standing in the club with a drink that has an umbrella in it is consider an offence and will ban you as a homie immediately.

6) we hate shopping but we only tag along because its OUR money that you girls are spending. whatever dress you try, the cheapest one will always be the best looking one.

7) if we have a boys night out and one of the boys bring his gf along then he has to accept that she might hear or see behaviors that she may not be down with. . . . . . . .  even towards her(we will blame it on the alcohol later)!

8 ) while dating, 3 months will get you an invitation to meet my boys, 6months is bros and sis, 12 months will have you meet my parents and 2 yrs will allow you to drive my car but under no circumstances should the order be changed and if any of them doesnt approve of you then add another 6months before moving to the next level.

9) feeding a guy like in the movies is cool IN THE MOVIES but it should never be attempted in real life especially not in a busy restaurants as rejection would have you look more silly than we feel at the time.

Laws? *roooollz eyez*

How about 'under no circumstance should you hurt a girl who has done nothing to you'

You guys should grow up, this is not kindergerton . . .

Ujujoan:

Laws? *roooollz eyez*
How about 'under no circumstance should you hurt a girl who has done nothing to you'

You guys should grow up, this is not kindergerton . . .

may i ask where in these rules do men hurt women?! if you think that men should just accept anything a woman does just so that we dont "hurt your feelings" then you are the one living in la la land.

you are talking like men just look to hurt women for no apparent reason?! honey, whoever broke your heart was probably wrong but dont come and blame it on all of us and surely dont go hating all men.

Silly rules!!!

lol see women getting pi$$ed off, LOL!!!!

****holding my right hand to my heart***** I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO ABIDE BY THE MENS RULES OF CONDUCT, SO HELP ME GOD!

MRbrownJAY:

may i ask where in these rules do men hurt women?! if you think that men should just accept anything a woman does just so that we dont "hurt your feelings" then you are the one living in la la land.

you are talking like men just look to hurt women for no apparent reason?! honey, whoever broke your heart was probably wrong but dont come and blame it on all of us and surely dont go hating all men.

Hey I aint hating . . . just tot I shd help you guys with one very important 'law'. And pls check agian, I said

Ujujoan:

How about 'under no circumstance should you hurt a girl who has done nothing to you'

MRbrownJAY:

lol see women getting pi$$ed off, LOL!!!!

****holding my right hand to my heart***** I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO ABIDE BY THE MENS RULES OF CONDUCT, SO HELP ME GOD!

LOL who is pissed? You are not serious!

@ujujoan
ok let me understand what you are saying with your law:
if my girl has always done the right things in our relationship but i dont feel her any longer then i should not do what i feel is right and dump her but instead i should feel sorry for her and stick with her so to not hurt her feelings?!

read the mens rules again and you will realize that none of them says that men should hurt women but only that they should stand for their "manly" beliefs. lol!

MRbrownJAY:

@ujujoan
ok let me understand what you are saying with your law:
if my girl has always done the right things in our relationship but i dont feel her any longer then i should not do what i feel is right and dump her but instead i should feel sorry for her and stick with her so to not hurt her feelings?!

read the mens rules again and you will realize that none of them says that men should hurt women but only that they should stand for their "manly" beliefs. lol!

Dump is not the right word in such a suituation
It sound like "used and dumped"

@ifedy
i can see that you are very sensitive on the issue so i will agree that its better to say break up so that we dont hurt any women feelings here but lets all remember that it means exactly the same thing:

dumped her
broke up with her
left her
had to go our separate ways

btw, we all use each other, one way or the other.

MRbrownJAY:

@ujujoan
ok let me understand what you are saying with your law:
if my girl has always done the right things in our relationship but i dont feel her any longer then i should not do what i feel is right and dump her but instead i should feel sorry for her and stick with her so to not hurt her feelings?!

read the mens rules again and you will realize that none of them says that men should hurt women but only that they should stand for their "manly" beliefs. lol!

Unbeleivabe . . . 'you dont feel her any longer' That sounds silly.

I mean I know it happens to all of us, the whole fire-burning-out thing, but the rate with which you guys use it to wiggle out of your responsibilities is just alarming!

I bet you were feeling her just right the night before when you were doing it!

Anyway, this is not an 'all guys are palayers' thread! It's just that your 'laws' are childish! I mean what's wrong with a guy eating strawberries

Ujujoan:

Unbeleivabe . . .  'you dont feel her any longer'    That sounds silly. 

I mean I know it happens to all of us, the whole fire-burning-out thing, but the rate with which you guys use it to wiggle out of your responsibilities is just alarming!

I bet you were feeling her just right the night before when you were doing it! 

Anyway, this is not an 'all guys are palayers' thread! It's just that your 'laws' are childish! I mean what's wrong with a guy eating strawberries   

what responsibilities are you insinuating here?! is s, ex the reason why people should stay together? just because s, ex is good doesnt mean that we should stick with someone on the spot. it just means she knows how to work it in the bedroom like so many others out there.
people should date someone for a while, you have a great time together and, unless you have proposed to her then breaking up should be a walk in the park. no need for long discussions or tryouts if you are sure about what you want for yourself (or dont want).

the fact that some women think with their body clock in mind rather than their heads shouldnt be a reason for us men to do the same.
some men are in no hurry to get married and would rather play the field to see their options. everyone knows that settling with the first fish that comes swimming your way is not productive and everyone should check whats out there.

btw:if you view these laws as "being a player" then we understand why men and women seldomly understand each other.

i will stand by the rules I wrote, as for the other ones, ask whoever posted them to elaborate on that.
"not all men are considered equal"

ok, you win

A man must never ride on the back of a motorcyle with another man

This is crazy funny:

A man must never have a one on one conversation on Skype with another male

man should never use the word "exquisite"

man shall tell a man where they can find (an) easy girl(s)

How about, a man should NEVER borrow money from his girlfriend.

stillwater:

How about, a man should NEVER borrow money from his girlfriend.

CO-SIGN X 100%

I'll add. . . .

If for any reason a man borrow's money from his girl friend, he must repay in full in one lump sum PLUS 100% interest.

HEHE, funny rules

Here's one: A man shall NEVER tell another man he's cute.

OMO IBO:

A man must never ride on the back of a motorcyle with another man

I do this one tire 4 secondary school, anyway I guess we were boys .

At a restaurant, it is forbidden for a man to say 'can i have a salad'.

The only 2 ways a man can end up with salad are if his date ordered it for him or it came free with the meal.

ravenzord:

HEHE, funny rules
Here's one: A man shall NEVER tell another man he's cute.

Powerful post.
powerful post

I do this one tire 4 secondary school, anyway I guess we were boys .

The council will excuse on this one occasion.
Make sure it does not repeat itself