This is a sin that people take so lightly and commit so easily, but it’s in fact one of the major sins that have grave consequences in this life, in the grave and in the hereafter!

So what is backbiting exactly?

Abu Hurairah (RAA) narrated, ‘The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They replied, `Allah and His Messenger (ﷺ) know best.’ He said, “It is saying something about your brother which he dislikes.” Someone asked, ‘Supposing that what I said about my brother was true?’ and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“If what you say about him is true you have backbitten him and if it is not true you have slandered him.” [Related by Muslims.]

But why do we need to get rid of this sin?

This sin is a reflection of having diseases in the heart. Allah Almighty wants to purify us from sins as sins are darkness and we cannot approach or see the Full Light of Allah when we are buried in darkness. We do not approach the Beauty of Allah with the ugliness of our hearts. Remember, a sound purified heart is our ultimate goal and salvation.

“The Day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children

But only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.” (Qur’an 26: 88-89)

So, we are now going to understand why backbiting (gheeba) specifically is a big sin, how we can stop it, and what to do when someone is backbiting in front of us.

Why Is Backbiting Such A Big Deal?

Those little words we are uttering mindlessly thinking they are not a big deal are in fact considered by the scholars among the major sins and they could lead to punishment in the grave and punishment in the hereafter.
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) said:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “During the Mi’raj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, ‘Who are these people, O Jibril?’ Jibril replied: ‘These are the people who ate flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people’s honour.”‘ [Abu Dawud].

Also…

It was narrated that Ibn ‘ Abbas said:

“The Messenger of Allah passed by two graves and said: “They are being punished but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used not to take care to avoid getting urine on his body or clothes, and the other used to walk about spreading gossip.’ Then he took a fresh palm stalk and broke it in half, and planted one half on each grave. They said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, why did not do that?’ He said: ‘May it be reduced for them so long as this does not dry out.”‘ [Sunan an-Nasa’i]

Those little words we are uttering could easily transfer the reward of our good deeds we worked day and night to earn to the person we’ve spoken about, or give us his/her evil deeds on the Day of Judgment, and what a major loss  that would be!!
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “He who has done a wrong affecting his brother’s honour or anything else, let him ask his forgiveness today before the time (i.e., the Day of Resurrection) when he will have neither a dinar nor a dirham. If he has done some good deeds, a portion equal to his wrong doings will be subtracted from them; but if he has no good deeds, he will be burdened with the evil deeds of the one he had wronged in the same proportion”. [Al-Bukhari].

Remember that the Noble Prophet taught us:
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue or his hands. And a Muhajir (an emigrant) is the one who gives up (abandons) all what Allah has forbidden.” [Sahih Al Bukhari]

And Allah clearly forbade us from this act. He Almighty says:

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” (Qur’an 49: 12)

Remember that when Allah forbade us from this act, He said “and fear Allah” this means to be mindful and conscious of Allah with our hearts, minds tongues, eyes, ears… This means to fear Allah in what our tongues utter and what our ears hear and what our hearts contain. And if we accomplish this, we reach the love of Allah. “indeed, Allah loves those who fear Him (are conscious/mindful of Him)” (Qur’an 3: 76)
So be afraid of Allah, but also be thankful that He is leading you to earn His Love, and if you have the Love of Allah, you have indeed earned the ultimate goodness in this life and the next.

Remember that what your tongue utters is a reflection of what your heart contains. And if our tongues are corrupt, it may be that our hearts are corrupt… and what a destruction it is for us to meet Allah with corrupt hearts when we were asked to purify them!
Basically allowing ourselves to fall into backbiting and slandering and gossip essentially means that our hearts may have jealousy, hate, heedlessness, resentment…. and all of this is among the diseases of the heart. And we were commanded to purify ourselves and engage in purification of the self.

“He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself” (Qur’an 87:14)

Remember to never take a word lightly. We enter Islam with a word the the shahada and we have from Allah His Words and this is the everlasting miracle. Words are heavy in Islam, and they are heavy on the scale and they are heavy to Allah
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and for this reason he will sink down into Hell.” [Al-Bukhari].

Remember what the Messenger commanded:
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah(RA) that the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said:

“By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread (the greeting of) peace among yourselves.'” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

How can we spread peace, if our tongues are spreading hate and dispute and sarcasm and mocking of others, and injustice against others and we let our tongues loose with no monitoring or controlling? How can this lead to peace?

Bottom line, it’s not worth it. It isn’t!

Shaitan wants us to fall into this sin because it is so easy. Just Little words uttered in a matter of seconds but their outcome is destructive in this life and the next.

So, don’t give him that.

Just control your tongue!

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Now for the Action Plan…

we discussed why you urgently NEED to stop backbiting. In this part, we discuss some practical tips to actually help you stop, and help you deal when others are backbiting in front of you.

If You Are The One Backbiting, What To Do?

Beg Allah for Help. Beg Allah desperately to save you from this sin. Make Dua to Allah to enable you to control your tongue. No one can progress in this path without the help of Allah. Remember and remember and remember “You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help,” we repeat 17 times a day in Surat Al Fatiha. So do your part of asking Allah for Help as He commanded. WAllahi if you ask Allah sincerely to purify you from this, He will help you and will heal you from this and replace it with light in your heart and peace in your life. So Ask Allah. This is The MOST IMPORTANT STEP. Ask Allah sincerely.
Whenever you feel tempted to say something bad against someone, remind yourself that if there is something wrong with them, there is something even worse with YOU for you are the one who is bringing out the ugliness in others and spreading them. Even if this person is flawed, you bringing out the flaw could lead to your own flaws being exposed in front of all mankind if Allah willed it. So fear Allah.
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“Whoever covers (the sin of) a Muslim, Allah will cover him (his sin) in this world and in the Hereafter.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

We should be eager and actually compete in hiding the faults of others, not exposing them.

I remember clearly a lady who was speaking to her relative and then telling her “but your sister is fat. You’re beautiful and in good shape. But your sister is fat.” I swear to God, within a month or so, this lady got a disease which led her to take medication that has cortisone and it made her really oddly fat! It was very strange subhaAllah that this lady became so fat so quick out of nowhere. So, don’t mess with people! Allah hears you and every word has its consequences.
You may be messing with someone that Allah loves, and Allah says: “Whosoever shows enmity to a wali (friend) of Mine, then I have declared war against him.”

So don’t get yourself into this. Fear Allah and don’t harm His slaves, these are His slaves, no matter how much you dislike them, they are His. You may be harming yourself or preventing your rizq or covering yourself with unnecessary sadness as a result of this without you even knowing or paying attention…. sins have consequences.

Now, if you really don’t like someone and this leads you to talk about them…etc, then thank you, but please keep your opinion for yourself inside your mouth, don’t bring it out, the world doesn’t need it. What you can do instead is this: Ask Allah to replace whatever bad things you don’t like about this person with something better. Make dua for them, ask Allah to give them guidance and light and love from His love so you and others may love them too. And you are the winner when you do that because: 1- Angels will make the same dua for you 2- you have turned the ugly feelings you have into worship and earned yourself rewards instead of sins.
What to do if you have done backbiting already?
If you have done this, then you have to hurry up and do Istighfar and tawba, if you know the person you’ve backbitten, then either go apologize, or if he doesn’t know you’ve done that, then don’t tell him but do good to him in the same place and with the same people you’ve backbitten him with. Also do istighfar for him.

Example: if you have backbitten Sarah with Mona, then go tell Mona good things about Sarah and say that you regret speaking badly about her.  If you’ve spoken badly about someone in a platform, use the same platform to bring them their right back as much as you can, while doing sincere tawbah and istighfar.

If Someone Is Backbiting In Front Of You, What To Do?

Single. Time. Anyone says something bad about someone else, IMMEDIATELY say something good about this same person. Keep doing that until those who backbite hate talking to you/or backbiting around you.
Here is an example:

Them:  “This girl is too loud. She gets on my nerves.”

You: “Oh subhanAllah, I really feel she is very sincere in wanting to bring her point across. May Allah accept from her and guide her to the best in this life and the next. Ameen.”

— (You see how you turned them off from further backbiting? Keep doing that!)

Another scenario:

Them: “I wanted to tell you something?”

You: “Does it involve talking about someone by name, or referring to them clearly that I would know who they are?”

Them: “Maybe”.

You: “Then, please, may Allah reward you, I don’t want to know.”

Them: “But I’m not saying anything wrong. I just wanted to tell you a story that really happened. I don’t mean anything.”

You: “I know may Allah reward you. You’re amazing. But please I do not want to talk about anyone in their absence. I really don’t want to know this story. Thank you.”  Then change the subject and talk about anything else.

Simple.

Just kill the backbiting before it evolves.

It only evolves because you accepted it and allowed it to evolve.

Have strength and pride in your religion and its beautiful teachings that guide us to what’s pure and forbid us from what’s harmful. You don’t have to be weak and submit to people when they are doing something wrong.
Change the subject.

Talk about the person in a very good way instead until they stop.

Tell them you will leave. Go sit somewhere else.

Wear a T-Shirt/sticker that’s says: “I don’t backbite and I like it”

There are so many ways. Be creative, save yourself and others from this sin. Jannah is worth it, and the major consequences that come out of this sin in this life and the next deserve fighting against them with all your heart, mind and creativity.

Final comment: by Allah, this act of backbiting brings nothing but ugliness, sadness and darkness to you without you even knowing. I have seen this with my own eyes. If you are frustrated and you start backbiting thinking this will calm you down or take away your frustration, then I swear by Allah that this will only add to your frustration and worsen the situation and bring a dull gloomy feeling to you and everyone involved in backbiting with you. It is never the solution. There is no way that a sin that automatically comes with darkness would bring you light, ease and healing into your life. No way. So get yourself out of this mess. You’re better than this, and with the help of Allah and your free access to speak to Him about anything whenever you want, you really don’t need to indulge in talking about other people.

May Allah help us and make us among those who set things right, and call to righteousness. Ameen.



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