Latest costly jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 2:27pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
Hey guys was surfing they net saw some costly jokes and decided to drop them here.. Difference between B. Tech, M.Tech,PhD and Prof. A Professor once made a statement in class: Prof : Let me tell you the differences between B.Tech, M.Tech and PhD If you think you know everything, then you will get B. Tech. If you begin to doubt that you know anything at all, then you will get M. Tech. If you are convinced that you don't know anything and you are also convinced that others also don't know anything you will get a PhD. If you are convinced that you don't know anything and you are also convinced that others also don't know anything and more importantly if you are convinced that in your lifetime nobody can figure out that, then you become a Prof. A serious student raises his hand and asks, Student : Sir, I am fully convinced that I don't know anything, then why i am registered for M. Tech. I should get PhD? Sir : But you still think that I know. 1 Like |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 2:59pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
One strange dream When you meet a white person and they give you 10Naira to buy pure(sachet) water for them. throw in this line: "If you think you can think what I am thinking then you should start thinking another thought because because my thinking space is not telepathic,but if you want to think what I am thinking you should think that your thought should take back they 10 naira into your pocket and you should think that you gave me 10 dollars and your fore limb should think of me as they donor and i should think that you gave me they dollar and my pocket should think they have it on it two walls". I tried it and it worked they man just dashed me 50 dollars am not thinking... he really thinks he gave me they fifty dollars and I think he gave me they fifty dollars my pocket is thinking that they fifty dollar is not with me, they 50 dollars Is thinking that it is in they white mans pocket and his pocket is thinking that they wallet is Gone and they chicken is thinking that I am thinking that I will buy them tonight and my bed is thinking that I am thinking when am I going to wake up. |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by emerald2014(f): 3:20pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
can't even understand anything in d second joke d first one is even beta 2 Likes |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:21pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
When your boss is very Democratic.. My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!" He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year". |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:23pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
This one got me laughing hard -I was advised by a fellow speaker, many years my senior, to practice my Spanish. And here’s why: We all know that Heart Disease is the #1 cause of death in the U.S. But think hard about this: In Japan, they’ve got a diet that is low in fat and they have less heart disease than the US. While in France, the diet is very high in fat, and they also have less heart disease than in the US. In China, almost nobody drinks red wine and the heart disease rate is lower than in the US. But in Spain, everybody drinks too much red wine and sure enough they have less heart disease than the US. Algeria has the lowest sexual activity rate, and they’ve got less heart disease than in the US. But Brazil has the highest sexual activity rate and sure enough…the heart disease ratio is lower than in the US. His sage wisdom to me? Drink, eat and make merry all you want. It’s speaking English that kills you. |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:26pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
This one Got me laughing in African style. Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it has made a big difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of that clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic? |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:28pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
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| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:29pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
emerald2014:That's why its called they strange dream even I myself found it hard understanding anything but I later understood that he was a pick pocket in they dream and simultaneously he was dreaming.. |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:33pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
Shout out to all they "wannabe" priest into they house School students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs: An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!" 3 Likes |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:34pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!" |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:42pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
Funny words that were said in they court that were recorded by they court recorders Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? Witness : He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' Attorney: And why did that upset you? Witness : My name is Susan! [hr /] What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? Witness : Gucci sweats and Reeboks. [hr /] |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:46pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
Attorney: What is your date of birth? Witness : July 18th. Attorney: Which year? Witness : Every year. Attorney: What is your date of birth? Witness : July 18th. Attorney: Which year? Witness : Every year. ________________________ Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you? Witness : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Attorney: How long has he lived with you? Witness : Forty-five years. |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 3:50pm On Sep 30, 2017 |
Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness : No, I just lie there. Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Witness : Yes. Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory? Witness : I forget.. Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _______ witness: .... |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 8:16pm On Oct 11, 2017 |
Imagine that awkward silence when Abraham and Isaac were walking home after He had tried to sacrifice him... Abraham: "I love u son" Isaac: "lemme joor.. Ritualist... |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 5:44am On Oct 14, 2017 |
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "COMPLETE and FINISHED". Some people say there's no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED, but there is: When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE! When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED! ....And when your wife catches you with another woman, you are ...COMPLETELY FINISHED! And if you marry a wife who likes shopping so much, you are FINISHED COMPLETELY!�� |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 12:03pm On Dec 12, 2017 |
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| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 2:45pm On Dec 20, 2017 |
BREAKING NEWS!!! Just now, South gate area of FUTA is in chaos due to an uproar ignited by some suspected ritualist or Yahoo guys. The Police patrol team found two fresh heads in a car allegedly belonging to the yahoo boys. A young lady of about 21years was being wooed by one of the boys in the CAMRY, the lady in question perceived a strong odour coming out from the car. The terrible odour made the lady suspicious. Pretending like someone who needed to ease herself, she alerted an elderly man who was passing by who then made a signal to the Police team that was stationed nearby. The police team intercepted the car, and searched it. They were shocked when they opened the car booth and found two heads in the booth! Examining the heads very carefully, the police officers found out that they were two known heads in the community. It was a head of a Panla fish and the other was that of Titus. Thank you very much for reading You may wish to beat me o but see you next year |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 4:12pm On Dec 20, 2017 |
funny from a naira lander kpokute: |
| Re: Latest costly jokes by redon12(m): 4:15pm On Dec 20, 2017 |
sugardaddy1: |
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